Working for hours on end was something Taeyeon’s good at, after spending countless years training and performing on stage, her body had adjusted to the tough routines and merciless schedules. Today though, for no specific reason, she feels overworked, dead tired and exhausted but it has only been four hours since she clocked in.

Her eyes were affixed to a sheet of paper. A paper with five lines, notes, lyrics and scribbles on the side, probably reminders she wrote for herself. It was expected that the company would offer them individual contracts, Taeyeon especially. Looking back, this is what she wanted from the very start, to become a solo artist. But then some twisted fate interfered and suddenly she was thrown into an outrageously large sized group of girls where everyone was beautiful and wll become more beautiful after debut, everyone’s good in dancing, singing and in facial expressions. She was afraid and insecure. Dread boils in as the thought of getting cycled out dawns on her and then she’ll have to come back to Jeonju  as a total failure and cry, cry a lot. All she wanted was to chase her dream, she just wants to sing, why must that dream be so hard to achieve?

She looks at them queasily and feels small, like the runt of a litter. And they’re very animated. Animated and energetic in practice, animated and energetic in breaks, animated and energetic and..and..confident. Something Taeyeon isn’t. She wanted to run away and cry, she didn’t know what to do with herself, how to fit in, she was always so awkward and talks little to none.

She’s only confident when she sings, her aura changes from a poor puppy to a feisty fox, she’s confident because she knows her voice is better than any of those girls. They would stare at her, awestruck, and it feels good inside, they are noticing her. All eyes were on her. Kim Taeyeon, the country kid from Jeonju.

Days later, one of the girls approach her. Taeyeon isn’t good with socialization. She grew up in a quiet place with just her family and a few friends. Seoul is loud, busy and crowded, but the people in Seoul know how to adapt to other people, socialize, bestfriends after a minute of talking. That thought she found absurd. Friendship is easy but true friendship takes years of honing, of trials, arguments and trust-earning and..and love.

It was their break time. Taeyeon sits cross-legged on the floor, alone, eyes on her lunch, kimbap. A shadow hovers over her and she looks up fearing for the worst. Maybe today is the day she’ll get bullied, pushed around and teased because of her height or where she came from. Mouth agape, she couldn’t chew nor gulp. The girl was taller than her, this girl is the one who sits by the air conditioner every time she finds a chance and her face was stoic, serious, scary.

“You’re blocking my bag” the girl speaks and Taeyeon was quick to move, scrambling to her feet, looking for a new spot.

“Don’t bother” she says again, she lowers herself and looks at Taeyeon. Stupid Taeyeon with open and rice grains stuck on her cheeks. Taeyeon wants to swallow but couldn’t. She looks back at the girl.

Her eyes were boring and droopy.

The girl gently pokes her nose, Taeyeon’s heartbeat quickens.

“Do you even talk?” she asks.

Taeyeon’s throat suddenly worked as she gulps down her food. She was about to speak when the girl’s hand landed on her face, gingerly plucking out a grain that’s been stuck there.

Taeyeon’s heartbeat never slowed.

“You’re cute” the girl says and pops the grain into .

“I’m Sooyeon, but you can call me Jessica, what’s your name?”

“T-Taeyeon”

“Nice name, Taeyeon-ssi, would you like to eat with us?” The so-called Sooyeon asks and nudges her head to the side where Taeyeon sees a group of girls forming a circle, merrily chatting and eating, a few of them looked at her and smiled.

She looks back at Sooyeon and nods her head, enthusiastically.

Sooyeon smiles at her, warmly. It was the first time she saw Sooyeon smile but then again, it was the first time Sooyeon interacted with her. Later, she learns their names. Stella, Hwanhee, Yejin, the boisterous ones Yoona and Yuri and Seohyun, the pianist. Sooyeon sits beside her and Taeyeon feels comfortable, They ask her what kind of kimbap she has and the conversation continues on. She was never the odd one out after that day. She walks home, calls her mother and brother, her tone was chirpy, happy. Her mother feels relieved and Taeyeon slept the night without a heavy heart.

Though Taeyeon was older than her, Sooyeon acts as if she is, but not in a bad way. She would drape her arms around Taeyeon’s shoulder and chat with her, fix Taeyeon’s hair, hold Taeyeon’s hand and do all sorts of things to her cheeks then she’d look at her, deeply. Taeyeon was also a rookie in this aspect, she tries to crack the code behind Sooyeon’s stares but fails. She learns from Yuri that Sooyeon came from San Francisco.

Where the hell is that place?

San Furanshisko?

Oh, it’s English.

Must be from America.

That explains it, that’s how they do it in the movies, Sooyeon’s behavior towards her is just normal friendship. She feels relieved and somewhat..disappointed? Nah.. Sooyeon is kind to her, very kind. It’s just friendship, she later confirms that when Sooyeon started dating a guy from a popular boy group also under the company’s management. She congratulates Sooyeon which she now fondly calls Sica, they talk about things that couples do, how she’s treated by her boyfriend or oppa or whatever, Taeyeon’s not really interested, she was never the relationship type nor the marriage type anyway.

They remain friends, Sooyeon is still clingy, Taeyeon lets out a relieved sigh, when she doesn’t feel any pain knowing that Sooyeon is dating. She’s not hurt and she doesn’t like Sooyeon that way, or maybe she just did a good job trying to prevent it. She’s normal, and she’s trying her best to convince herself that she is.

Sooyeon is unsure, if she did the right thing dating that guy. He’s cute and charming, a sweet talker, and he kisses very good. But sometimes she feels as if she’s missing something, she did that because well, she wanted to date, curious and afraid at the same time, not of the rumors that she’s flirt, that she’s a ty girl, gosh just how old is she to have had so many boyfriends they would say. Those people were quick to judge because they’re imbeciles, she thought. She was afraid of her feelings. At first, it was just friendship and admiration because Taeyeon has a very nice voice and Taeyeon is so cute and adorable and suddenly, Sooyeon fears that she might actually like the girl. Taeyeon has this uncanny way of luring people into liking her without her even knowing it.

Natural charm

And it worked on Sooyeon, unfortunately.

But they’re trainees set to debut someday and she doesn’t want to cause any problems for the group or expose the truth in the form of rumors that would endanger their blooming careers, Taeyeon's especially. Yep. Taeyeon. They haven’t debuted, yet the girl already has a troop of sasaengs following her. There’s a slight tinge of envy in her heart but she smiles at the thought. Taeyeon will be very famous one day. And so she diverts whatever feelings she has to someone else but continues to be friends with Taeyeon. A kind, thoughtful, clingy friend to Taeyeon. Loving her in complete silence.

Months later, routines flow smoothly, the girls had adjusted to each other, the room is filled with laughter and chit-chat, Yuri is doing something stupid and funny, minutes later, Yoona joins in and they all laugh at the twosome’s silly antics. Sooyeon laughs, just a little, childish things like this don’t usually amuse her, especially coming from America, this isn’t what humor is, it’s just plain stupidity, but she laughs anyway because the other girls laugh and she glances at Taeyeon sitting beside Yejin, she chews on her lip for a moment and then looks away, laughing or at least pretending to laugh.

Taeyeon becomes close to Yejin, the youngest trainee. They become too close, dangerously close. The other girls were weirded out but their mindsets aren’t from medieval ages, they had learned that things like that are normal and it happens despite the very high percentage of homophobia in Korea. They cover up for Taeyeon and Yejin.

Sooyeon becomes a little grouchier and silent than usual.

The moment stretches on.

A/N

Hi everyone! I managed to squeeze in an update, i just got a job with an outrageous working schedule, it's from 3pm to 12am. I'll be teaching english to koreans,keke, kind of excited and scared and nervous, i'll probbaly quit when the main company that i applied for finally calls me back haha. but for now i have to endure, wish me luck okay? And i'll probably be updating every Saturday or Sunday since i'll be working for the whole 5 days of the week. So yeah. Did you like chapter 2? lol i put in a little taengsic because come on, they were so close before and then something happened and now.. they're just very awkward, i wonder what happened. Hmm, and yejin and taeyeon too, i'll try my best put a little bit of everything in here but later on, it'll focus on taeny's relationship.

*Btw, for those who don't know what sasaengs are, they are stans. (Stalker+Fans)