It's Just Another Night
StayHiya lovebug!
Million sorry for updating so late, let me give you my alibi haha. There was this huge flood in our place, waist level inside our house and chest level outside so we had to clean up big time and fix things, laundry the soaked clothes and all so yeah and our pc's broken too. , such bad luck, darn it. But anyway, here's an update! Wow chapter 11 already, I better hurry up.
And without furtther ado...
First, she wished she hadn't seen that look on Yejin's face because now she feels awfully guilty. Second, that Yejin didn't have a strong stamina as she shuffled out of the room with hurried footsteps, leaving a cramming Taeyeon behind.
"" she cursed as she ran with all her might, grabbed Yejin's wrist and swiveled her.
There was a freshly wiped yet still somehow visible tears on her face. Taeyeon cursed, silently this time.
"Yejin-ah..." Taeyeon adoringly cooed, her thumb wiping away the dregs of tears left on her face. She opens then closes it realizing she cpuldn't even give Yejin an explanation.
Or herself.
"I have an urgent thing..." The girl's voice cracked, clearing she continues.
"Sajang-nim called and our supposed taping for next week was rescheduled tomorrow at 7am so I have to go home and pack things, get some sleep--"
She was cut off and dragged into a corner where Taeyeon cupped her face and kissed her tenderly, almost apologetically and it made her sick to her stomach but she responded anyway because this is Taeyeon, and she loves this girl even though she couldn't have her completely.
She knew that right from the start, but still she asked.
"Should i be worried?" About you and Tiffany
Taeyeon kept mum, the answer was pretty much palpable.
The hallway was quiet and the lightings were dim, casting the narrow pathway a yellowish glow. Taeyeon held her close, showered her with small kisses but Taeyeon's eyes were dark and impenetrable. As Taeyeon aims for her neck, Yejin redirects thr girl's face to hers and presses their lips together instead.
Taeyeon was never the vocal type of person. Sure, she sings well, her voice is unbelievable but she doesn't really tell much about what she feels, her actions make up for it. They had been slipping their tongues in and out of each other's mouth. Yejin yet again fused their lips into a soft, lingering kiss before pulling back.
In the middle of their jagged breaths, she asks again, murmurs the question to Taeyeon's lips with her eyes closed, afraid to see or even hear the answer.
"Should I be worried?"
She feels Taeyeon's eyes flutter open and the girl pulling back, Yejin kept her eyes closed the whole time, scared that if she opens them, the river of tears will flow and the other one will see and will stay by her side because she pities her. But that's not what she wants.
Taeyeon kisses her closed eyes and then her forehead.
"I'll take you home" Taeyeon takes her hand but she jerks it away. Hard.
They stare at each other for the longest time before Yejin puts a hand on her temples, heaves a sigh and walks past Taeyeon who couldn't do anyting but look down on the floor.
She caught Yejin by the wrist.
"I do love you" she speaks.
"Do you?" Yejin counters back as quickly as she can, gives Taeyeon a piercing gaze before freeing her hand from the latter's grip and goes out of sight. Taeyeon tails her all the way to the elevator.
"Stop following me"
Yejin's voice was stern, Taeyeon knew she was pissed off big-time, she's not even calling her unnie anymore so she makes a call and dashes to the glass walss at the end of the hall.
"Hi I need a cab, 514 Gangnam, Victorious building. Yes, yes she's wearing a white dress, yes and umm... a gray cardigan, a black sling bag on her shoulder. No, her hair is straight. She's walking now, towards the street, Yeah right there, Okay I see you, please take her home safely, Thank you ahjussi."
She drops the call and watches Yejin ease in inside the cab and off into Seoul's streets and wondered why it didn't hurt her the same way when Tiffany left.
Yes, back again to Tiffany.
Tiffany and her. They're both someone else's, aren't they?
But it's still there, that feeling she revels in before but dreads so much today, and maybe it will never go away.
It's a never-ending cycle.
How can her heart love the same person for almost a decade now, how can that tired and worn-out heart of hers still beat and yearn for the same eyes and the same lips.
Martyrdom may look romantic in movies and songs but in reality, it's nothing but plain stupidity and masochism.
Taeyeon's one hell of a masochist.
She thinks of Tiffany every single day even when the girl had already left her, mourns and cries herself to sleep every night thinking of her, thinking where they went wrong or what she might have done to screw things up but nothing comes to mind, nothing but how much she gave and how much more she was willing to give just for Tiffany.
All for Tiffany.
Because Tiffany is the air she breathes yet suffocates her, Tiffany is the cold rain water trickling down her bare body, owning every inch of it, Tiffany is the loudness of her television, it's the rapid hurricane of words in English she could barely understand and meager Hangul of a 5 year old. Tiffany is the low hum she hears on the radio that drives her insane with want.
It makes the pores on her skin prickle when she thinks of how much she loved her, amazed that she managed to feel something so deep for someone, she never thought she was able to do something like that, her world revolved around the both of them and it makes her eyes tear up when she thinks of how much she had given but lost twice the amount.
And how everything about Tiffany reduced her into this wrecked person she couldn't recognize, broken inside and out.
***
She sits nonchalantly on Sunkyu's couch, the living room was a complete mess, like a college frat party just happened, or a zillion kindergarten students had a playdate. It was probably the latter.
Bottles were scattered on the floor, Taeyeon droops down, haphazardly picks a bottle, draws it near her lips and tries to sip, realizing it was empty, she drops it and picks another one.
Doesn't matter if it's soju or beer or whatever. The stronger, the better.
Leaning her head backwards to take a swig, her sluggish eyes met a pair that of a doe's. Yoona's chin rest on top of Taeyeon's head, and her long arms are loosely tangled around Taeyeon's neck.
The short one downs her drink then sniffs.
"Unnie, how bad was it?" Yoona surmised.
Taeyeon guzzles for a second.
"Very" she croaks.
"Just know that we're here and we love you" Taeyeon hums, Yoona kisses the top of her head.
The rest of the girls say their goodbyes and heads home.
Sunkyu invades the short girl's bubble and digs through her jean pockets.
"What in the world...?!" Taeyeon flinches.
"I'll take this, thank you very much, you're free to crash here for the night, there's no way in hell I'm letting you drive in that condition" Sunkyu tells her, car keys on one hand.
"Fine"
"You can't drive Taeng, look at you, do you want to die?"
"Oh, I've been wanting to" Taeyeon answers almost automatically, takes another swig, her lazy eyes stare off into nothing in particular.
Sunkyu closes her eyes and sighs out of exasperation. It's not even that she's getting dog-tired of babysitting Taeyeon whenever the girl decides to be the most misrable person in the world, it's just that she's had enough of seeing the both of them like this, especially Taeyeon.
Light footsteps tap the floor as Tiffany approaches them looking apologetic, Sunkyu gives her an understanding smile, put a hand on her shoulder and lightly pushes her towards the couch where Taeyeon is 'zombying' herself.
"May I sit?"
Taeyeon doesn't answer but scoots, in a lethargic way.
The couch dips.
Tiffany studies her for a long time and notices the melancholy in those eyes, not once in a million times she's peered into them has she seen them that lonely. She concludes that she was right. Taeyeon had changed, and it wasn't for the better.
Taeyeon takes another swig, her eyebrows crease, the bitterness of it all stays at the back of her tongue and she wants to gag.
"I'm sorry" Tiffany pipes in with eyes downcast.
"You say that a lot" the other girl answers, grins to herself. She must've though it looked cool on her, it didn't. It only showed how miserable she is.
"I meant it"
"Do you remember the last time you said that?" Taeyeon inquires a minute later.
The question hangs in the air.
"It...was, it was..." Tiffany mumbles, she swear she heard her heart crack inside her chest.
"The night before your wedding" Taeyeon finishes, eyes deadpan and blank.
Tiffany closes her eyes and bites her lip, gathers the courage to look up only to see a pair of glassy eyes mirroring her own, and that pained smile on Taeyeon's face.
Her heart died, Taeyeon's too beautiful to look so miserable. But you made her like this
She inches forward and reaches out for Taeyeon's hand, clasps it.
"Taeyeon..."
The latter retracts her hand, puts it on top of Tiffany's instead, thumb brushing that delicate skin she knew too well.
How many times had she kissed her hand?
"Not your fault" says Taeyeon and smiles. She smiles because the moon is now at its peak and Tiffany looks so breathtaking under the moonlight, mesmerized by how the both of them have the same glassy eyes seemingly about to shatter at any given second and how everything she had ever wanted all her life is just right in front of her, but can't have it.
Taeyeon fights to keep her composure, starts hurting and she's afraid that there will be no stopping the tears if she blinks even for a second.
No, not in front of Tiffany.
Save some of your pride.
She gets up and heads elsewhere, tears falling with every step now that she has her back on Tiffany, and hates the fact that she loves her too much to even hate her.
And there we go, hope you liked it, penny for you thought? :)
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