Kim Myungsoo is in love.

And that is fine because everyone has experienced love at least once in their lives, whether it's familial or amongst friends or even love at first sight.

The only problem about this entire ordeal is not on the fact that he's in love, but rather who he's in love with. And the person he has fallen head over heels with happens to be his best friend and fellow group member, Lee Sungyeol. It had been this way for years, ever since their point of debut. Myungsoo ended up doing nothing about it; well, aside from all those not-so-subtle touches, the hugs, the stares. Verbally, no- he’s no good at gathering his feelings and forming them into solid words of confession. Maybe that’s why Sungyeol had been disregarding every action he took.

In conclusion, Kim Myungsoo is a coward. A really big coward.

--

One afternoon, whereas the group’s able to have the day off together, Myungsoo is lying on the bed with his laptop situated before him. He’s bored, so he’s simply checking up random sites once he’s been satisfied by Twitter and their fancafe. That’s when he noticed a link sent amongst the fans within a forum.

Clicking on the link, Myungsoo reads the bold headlines of the article, '16 Reasons He's Not Asking You Out'. If it applies to him, shouldn't it be the other way around?

He ends up being intrigued and eventually, he mumbles along each of the reasons.

1. You’re intimidating. Yes, you are. You don’t give him any kind of sign that you’re interested or you give him mixed signals and he is in a state of confusion.

Intimidating is such a strong word. However, once he thinks about it, the statement does seem to fit the bill. He's too much of a chicken to become bold enough to openly show interest in Sungyeol. And with the gestures that he does show, it doesn't seem to be enough to give the male a hint.

A sigh of defeat leaves his lips.

Okay, next one.

2. He just got out of a bad relationship and he does in fact want to be single for a little while before he gets back in the game.

No. This one is absolutely not true. For as much as he knew, Sungyeol hasn't been in a relationship in years.

Unless the male's been dating secretly and without his knowledge...

A look of disbelief and horror flashes across Myungsoo's face. Oh, no, no. Stop that. Sungyeol trusts you enough to let you in on his secrets.

Placing a hand over his rapidly beating heart, he takes a few long breaths in attempt to calm down. Eventually, it works and he's pretty much beating himself mentally for even thinking that.

Myungsoo then eyes the third reason: 3. His life is a little too complicated right now and he’s being a good guy and not bringing you into it until he figures a few things out.

His mind seems to blank for a moment. Yes, Sungyeol's life is a little complicated at the moment and yes, he's being a (fabulously) good(-looking) guy but is he really not bringing him into that particular mess to figure things out? Did he not mention that they do not leave any secrets out?

Things suddenly don’t make sense for him anymore.

4. He thinks that you just see him as just a friend.

'That is true...', Myungsoo reluctantly admits to himself.

5. He sees you as just a friend.

'That is definitely true.' Myungsoo's confidence is slowly diminishing and in its place grows uncertainty and slight fear. He wants to change that; he wants Sungyeol to know that he's in love with him and he doesn't want to stay in the level of 'friends'.

How will he manage to do that if he can’t find the words? He would ask Woohyun for help, but knowing the greaseball, he'll attempt to slowly convert Myungsoo into grease-ism. There's too many reason to go against that.

6. He’s moving across the country or abroad in a few months and doesn’t want a long-distance relationship.

Lies. Scratch that off.

7. He is not over his ex.

Ha ha, no. Even though the last relationship Sungyeol had occurred during their training years, he had been informed that he was completely alright after that.

Which is good. Because, you know, he has a definite chance.

The next reason on the list makes him pause, however: 8. You pretend that you don’t like him. In fact, when he’s around, you act like he doesn’t even exist at all.

Has that ever happened before, he wonders to himself. Probably not, because there’s never a time where he doesn’t show some sort of affectionate gesture to the tall male. Sungyeol’s too irresistible not to be left alone, after all.

So no. Scratch that one.

9. Sometimes you run away when you see him because that just seems like the most natural response to being in the same room as someone you like.

He lets a small smile grace his lips. This statement’s true in a way. Recalling a couple of months after debut, he did happen to avoid Sungyeol every time they meet up in the same room. But that was only because he thought the male’s presence was blinding and he didn’t know how to react to such moments.

That was why he drew himself closer to Sungjong for a while- the male was more a brother to him and they’ve had conversations revolving around said crush for the longest of time now. Sungjong was good at being sympathetic when he wanted to. Personally though, he didn’t appreciate the violence he received from the younger member every single time he told him that he had yet to confess.

10. You’re the booty call, hollaback girl, side-chick, etc. You get the point.

Myungsoo’s expression grows hard as he eyes the computer screen. He knew there’s something going on when he first read the damn headlines. This applies to a female’s point of view.

Well, sorry to say but if one must be the girl in the relationship, it’s Sungyeol. So scratch that one off.

11. He thinks you’re already seeing someone probably because you never fail to mention all the dates you’re going on when he’s within earshot.

That didn’t happen with him in the past so he can scratch that one off as well.

12. He thinks you’re out of his league.

That’s not true at all. If that’s the case, it should be Myungsoo who thinks Sungyeol’s out of his league. The male’s tall, attractive, a great conversationalist, and he has a well-rounded personality. He’s also adorable in every aspect and his smiles are worth his days. What’s not to like about Lee Sungyeol?

He nods to himself as if he’s agreeing to another person’s opinion.

(If anyone else is in the room, they'd think he's crazy).

13. He’s heard you say on more than one occasion that you’re not looking for a relationship right now which is true except he doesn’t know he’s the exception to that rule.

Doesn’t that apply to all idols? Relationships are prohibited amongst the companies due to the fact that there would be a high risk of being reported a scandal and it would tarnish the company’s name.

Though the thought of dating Sungyeol- that’s something he can only fantasize about. He wishes for something like that to happen, so that he can hold Sungyeol for as long as possible- hold him, kiss him, make out with him.

He suddenly clears his throat when explicit images make its way into his mind, followed by a short imaginary clip of him hovering over a , trembling Sungyeol. Whoa, too far. Now’s not the time to be thinking of that.

14. You used to date/like one of his friends, and no matter the circumstance, he doesn’t believe in breaking that code.

A small voice in the back of his mind prods at him once he read that. He feels partially guilty because there may or may not have been moments where he carried a fleeting interest in one of the members. And Sungyeol, being perceptive as he was, noticed on the spot and that led to the male distancing himself away. It happened a couple of times and it usually took about three days of coaxing, promising, and bribing to get the tall male back to his side.

15. He’s just not that into you, which but it doesn’t mean you’re not a catch; you’re just not his catch.

Ouch. The statement pierces his poor heart like needles to a ball of yarn.

Sure, Myungsoo may be awkward and insecure but Sungyeol always told him (okay, not really) that he likes it. He said it was part of his charms as Myungsoo and not his second persona, L. That must’ve worth something, right?

16. You’re both doing this thing where you think that you may like each other but neither of you wants to make the first move and so you’re not asking him and he’s not asking you and no one’s getting anywhere. Both of you are basically pansies.

Myungsoo reads this a couple of times and letting the words process until he blinks in realization. That’s absolutely true (he thinks).

Lately, he’s beginning to notice a few things between Sungyeol and himself- like the amount of skinship they displayed during their ‘Man In Love’ performances, their interactions within Weekly Idol, and how the older male begins to reciprocate his touches, up to the point where Sungyeol himself even initiates it.

If that’s not a good sign, then he doesn’t know what it is.

So, pansies not- he’ll be the one confess to Lee Sungyeol.

Firm resolution seeps through his veins as he stands up and heads out of the room. Around this time, he deduces that Sungyeol’s lounging within the confinements of his room, giving him the perfect opportunity to speak up.

Heading straight toward his destination, he doesn’t give knocking any regards and pushes his way in, speaking out, “Sungyeol, I-“

He suddenly stops, the words catches in his throat until they shrivel up and die.

Sungyeol glances up from his position on the bed, followed by Woohyun, Howon, and Dongwoo, who are all seated on the floor. Each is holding up a number of playing cards while the remaining deck is sprawled in the center of them.

“Oh, hi, Myung.” Sungyeol greets, looking pleasantly surprised. “We’re playing right now but you want to join in in the next game?”

Myungsoo stands stiff, unable to respond to the male’s offer. It’s until Sungyeol calls out his name once more that he jerks himself into reality. “Ah, I-I-“ he stutters, feeling very awkward at the moment. “No, maybe later. I…I should get going. Have fun.” And without another thought, aside from trying really hard not to look back when Sungyeol calls out his name again, he strides back into his room where he makes a beeline to his bed and collapse there, defeated.

He really is a coward, after all.

End