The outside bad boy attitude, rebellious outbursts, calculating smile and glaring eyes…these are just the Misconceptions of me, and my name is Kim Jonghyun.

So here is my story, from the past to the current, the journey of my life.

The world is filled with hatred, anger and sorrow. People judged each other, looking for their faults and short comings, anything to prove another's imperfection. And even as a child I knew this to be the fact of the world, the darkness and horror looming outside. But this was all that I knew because I didn’t care to look further. Hence I thought of life to be terrifying and living to be a nightmare.

I considered family to be a sweetened word for "arrangement", in my case at least.

I wasn’t the child born as a result of love but a contract brought into this world as an heir to the family name. Harsh words, but true. My life was set for me when I started to speak, from school to college and everything after. So it was natural that I set up walls to protect myself from the world, distancing myself from others, darkness being my only company.

The single moments when I could taste happiness was when I was with my guitar or piano. Music made me feel at ease and in a state of peace with every note played and cord strummed. It made me forget the constant words of my parents, to not trust, to not believe and to always be aware of the deceiving.

Anyone can wear a mask to mislead you from the true evil lurking underneath and like Medusa, will turn you to stone when you finally open your eyes to realize and see the truth. This is what I was taught to keep in mind, always.

My love for music was not with my parent's approval, which led to false promises of music in my life in exchange for good grades. I was being deceived and I chose not to open my eyes.

I shifted to a new school and that’s when my life turned around. My anti-social behavior had given the people the right to judge me, this resulted in me being the hot bad boy for some and the ill tempered arrogant kid for others. Nothing I couldn’t ignore.

But then I met him and I knew in that very instant, when he bowed and introduced himself as Lee Jinki, that I was in serious danger. He was different, something or everything about him was like no other, and that would destroy the walls I had so carefully built around me. Unlike the others, he tried. He made an attempt and didn’t give up even when I gave him the cold shoulder, treating him like I did everyone else.

He even stopped acting like our random encounters was an accident and took every opportunity to talk to me, not that I did much talking. But I couldn’t shake him off, I tried but failed to get away from him.

I continued to act indifferent but I knew it was a façade I wouldn’t be able to keep up for long. The way he looked at me, with that shine in his eyes, that glow that illuminated them like stars, shining brightly in the East, West and the wide expanse of the sky. It was breathtaking and refreshing at the same time. No one had looked at me that way with such beautiful eyes ever before, with such care and honesty.

And then, as I had myself at a breaking point and in a place of no return, he gave up on me.

It wasn’t like he broke off a year's long friendship or anything even close, but the feeling I had was of a million times worse. We never really met up to speak, it had always just been him following me and trying to reach out, and now that I stuck with my pride and my parents words, I ignored him like he didn’t even exist.

Every once in a while I caught him look my way when I cut class to go play music or walk around the singing streets of Korea. And I could see the curiosity in his eyes as he wondered where I disappeared to. But occasionally I caught that expression on his face, like he did indeed want to speak to me again, those eyes with hurt so clear and pleading, it haunted me. Those eyes like stars only left me with yet another sleepless night, thinking of him.

But I stopped myself every time, because I had myself convinced I was only doing what was required to survive in this world, though even I knew I couldn’t lie to myself. I had feelings for him, I enjoyed his company and his compassion, the way he heard me when I said nothing and how he had made me feel like he was there for me. Needless to say I was just too busy building my walls and being a coward of getting hurt to give him a chance, the chance I knew he too wanted to take.

We kept up this game of sneaking glances at each other when we thought the other wasn’t looking and I could feel his eyes follow me when I cut class every day. And I had wanted nothing more than to take him with me and show him who I was.

Then there was that day. The day he bumped right into me in the hallways of our school. I crashed to the floor as papers and files fell from his hands and were scattered everywhere. He was sitting on the floor opposite me and I wanted so desperately to reach out and grab his hand in mine. But I knew I couldn’t the way I wanted to, so I got up quickly and offered him my hand, which he took to steady his feet. Without another word and in a hopeless attempt to stretch out our time together, I started collecting the papers and files and walked wi