Sitting in the balcony at around 4 in the morning, vanilla twilight painted in the sky with a cigarette between my fingers, I can still remember the day that I first saw Seunghyun smoking in the same place and almost the same time, it was after and he is really exhausted and stress because of work, being an idol wasn’t that easy. I back hugged him and tried to steal the little thing from him but he quickly smashed the cigar in the ash tray and said don’t want to see me smoking, it’s bad for the health but he is smoking, ironic isn’t it.

            My mind was blank, complete blank. I don’t know how things get this really pretty ugly. He came from work he is ed up and everything, we had a fight, a big one, flying things, broken glass, bloody fist and slammin doors now the apartment is completely wrecked.

            I sat up and tried processing all the things, entering the room I can still smell his faint perfume scent, silent tears escaped my eyes. you TOP. 

            I picked the broken picture frame on the floor near the bedside table, his smile. Our third anniversary photo taken in Thailand, I can see the mother ing crack on the glass tried caressing it, only getting my fingers cut. What the hell am I thinking?

            I dropped the picture frame and also sat on the floor, I don’t feel the physical pain, the ing pain inside my chest is really unbearable. Wiped the ing tears, I hate seeing myself breaking down, ALONE. I used to remember how he comfort me when I’m sad, the way he wipe my tears away, the way he kissed my tear stained cheeks, I hate him, I hate Seunghyun this much.

            A hot bath is all I need, filled the tub with hot water and strip Seunghyun’s button up shirt and my undies, I love wearing his clothes at home, I don’t know why, the way his clothes make me feel secured I just love it. The cute toothbrush pair, his shampoo the vanilla scented body wash  he loved the most. Seunghyun’s shaving set.

            Tears began to pour down. I just wish this nightmare would end soon.

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            Three in days Seunghyun, where the hell are you?  Tried to sleep again but my mind is clouded with his face, thoughts about him.

            Reached the sleeping pills im eating for the past 2 days to keep me in deep slumber wishing when I woke up he would be beside me showering my face with his butterfly kisses to wake me up like he used to do every morning when we are still together.

            Slowly dropping my eyelids and getting in my deep sleep, I guess this is the end.

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A/N: want me to continue this?