It’s a lazy autumn afternoon; the cold air was gently blowing.  Maybe in a week time the people can already watch this year’s first snow fall and say hello to winter.

 

She was alone again as usual, sitting on her favorite bench on the park in the shade of an old maple tree that was now shredding its leaves.  She silently painting in a half filled canvas in front of her. She is trying to capture the beautiful color of the season. 

 

 She started painting three years ago and she never stopped ever since. She was always fascinated by everything she sees. That makes her want to immortalize it somehow.. For a person who lived in the darkness for almost all your life, that will came naturally once you see the light.

 

“How pretty are the falling leaves...” A faint smile brightens up her face. She put the warm color of red orange and yellow in her palette. She began to her brush on the starch white base.

 

“Sica!” she heard someone call from afar, her heart skip a beat but she chooses to ignore it and continue what she does.

 

“There you are! I’ve been looking for you since this morning” The warm voice was now closer, Jessica sighed as she stopped the of her brush.  Only God know how much she loves the sound of the man’s voice, ever since she first heard it, despite her blindness she knows that it was from someone so beautiful. It belongs to the first man she saw the moment she open her second hand eyes… three years ago.

 

“Wow.. So its autumn leaves now. Pretty” the man sat beside her. He is looking at the unfinished painting.

 

Jessica bit her lips as she put black paint on her palette.  “What are you doing here?” she asked in a calm voice without looking at him.

 

“What do you mean, what I’m doing here? Of course I want to see my girlfriend.”  Even without looking she can sensed that he is smiling to her.

 

‘Right..’ Jessica wants to mock but instead she kept into herself... Like always.  “Aren’t you supposed to be somewhere else today?” she asked as she outlines the figures with the black paint.

 

“Yes, can you come with me?”

 

Finally Jessica stopped and carefully drops her brush to the canister of paint thinner.  “I can’t… I’m busy.”  

 

“Please...”

 

Jessica heaved a sigh as she forced herself to look at him.  He welcomed her gaze with his hypnotic pair of dark eyes; she can only help but to admire him.  Like the way she does when she first saw him, she almost forget to breathe every time he looks at her. His eyes always reflects a great amount of love and adoration.. Enough to kill her in pain.  

 

“Baby… why are you crying?”

 

Jessica blinked and realized that she is tearing up.  “Oh I’m sorry..”

 

“Do your eyes hurt?” he asked worriedly.

 

“No..  Don’t worry about it,  Yuri.”

 

His brows furrowed. “Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah..” she whispered.

 

“Your eyes is not designed for crying babe..”  He said to her as he rubbed her back. “You know that right?”

 

‘Here he go again.. .’ Jessica thought ironically, Yuri’s gentle words only add up to the burden she was carrying in her heart.  She love the guy so much, but she wish he would just be silent and quit looking at her, because the more he do it… the more she felt sick inside.  “My eyes are fine..  Maybe it’s because of the air.”  Jessica forced a smile as she starts packing her things back.

 

“Come on let’s visit her.”  The man smiled again.

 

Jessica got no choice but to nod.

 

The couple drives silently in the familiar winding road uphill. Several times a year they will always go to the place, at first Jessica was fine with it, until years pass by without being noticed and the repetition of things became painful for her and to make things worst Yuri failed to notice. In times like this Jessica always asked herself if she should ask Yuri to pull over and get out of the car and to his life… but in the end the thought remained a thought that was bottled within her.

 

The black Audi stopped, Jessica sighed inwardly as she unbuckle the seat beat. “Sica are you alright?”  He asked as he hold her hand, Jessica pulled out her hand almost immediately.

 

“I’m okay.” She answered as she unlocks the door. Jessica felt the weight of Yuri’s stare behind her.

 

 

Without a word Yuri get out of the car as well, Jessica saw him run on the back compartment and pull out a basket full of pink roses. She gulped a lump on and decided to walk ahead alone towards the white marble bed in the middle of the meadow, there was a marble statue of an angel praying towering it.. it was beautiful despite the vines that was crawling onto it.

 

“Anyeong Tiffany shi..” Jessica mumbled as she kneeled to brush away the leaves fallen on the grave.

 

Few moments more she felt Yuri’s present in her side. She looks up and saw the familiar looking expression on his face. Sorrow.

 

 The man kneeled beside her. “Anyeong mushroom..  It’s been a while, look Jessica and I brought you your favorite flowers.” He smiled as he touches the marble structure.

 

Jessica was just listening, she didn’t talk..  She doesn’t have the right to speak anyways.  Under the grave lies the body of Yuri’s fiancée, Tiffany Hwang who died in a fatal car accident few years ago. She never had the chance to know the girl but thanks to Yuri, she felt as if she knew her like the back of her hands.

 

Beautiful, artistic and has a heart of gold… those are the words that Yuri uses to describe her, as if he was describing a saint. But who is she to judge? Maybe the girl was.. Tiffany will always be the girl will love and hate at the same time.

 

Jessica close her eyes to mutter a prayer, it’s the least she can do since she owe her a lot.. She received something special from Tiffany that she will be forever thankful for.

 

She look at the man beside her, she smiled faintly… not because of Yuri, but because of the fact that she could see. Yuri can’t make her smile anymore but he used too… he used to make her so happy that she will sleep late at night smiling and woke up early with the same smile on her face. But now everything he does, even a simple look from him is painful for her, in a much deeper sense.

 

“Jessica..”  She heard him called, she can sense the seriousness in his voice.

 

“Yes?” she responded.

 

 “We are happy… right?” Jessica wants to laugh at herself upon hearing that, how could Yuri even ask such absurd question.

 

For a moment Jessica was silenced. “Do you feel happy?”  She asked as she glances at the pink flowers resting on the grave.

 

Instead of answering Yuri looks at her.  “Will you marry me?”he opened his palm in front of her and showed a princess cut diamond ring in a pale shade of pink.. 

 

Jessica didn’t expect the question, If only Yuri asked her before she knew what she knows now… she would be the happiest girl in the world now being asked to marry the only man she had ever loved. But no. even the ring he prepared is offensive for her.

 

“Yuri, do you know what my favorite flower is?” Jessica sky softly as she looks from afar.

 

She waited for the answer but nothing came, she smiled bitterly. She turned her eyes to the man who was just silently looking at her, she spoke again. “Why did you ask that question?”

 

“Because I want you to be my wife”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I love you”

 

Jessica smiled softly even if her heart felt like it’s going to burst.  “I love you too”

 

Yuri’s eyes brighten up. “Are you accepting me?”

 

Jessica shook her head, the man froze… “The answer is no”

 

“B-baby I’m not asking you to marry me right away..” he stutt