18O52O13

Pairing : Xiutao vs. Xiuchen

Rating | Genre: PG | Slight!angst

WC: 972

Kind of inspired by BYG's I remember

Sometimes Tao wonders if Minseok remembers, because he does.

Tao smiles bitterly as he takes a sip of his coffee, feeling the warmth of it on his tongue and down his throat. With his arms folded at his chest, Tao leans back on his chair and stares at the white scenery lays out before his eyes through the coffee shop's window. Even with the heater on, he still feels so cold. Perhaps it's the effect of watching the snow falling, or maybe it's just the loneliness eating away his warmth. Either way, Tao finds himself shivering under the pile of clothes he has on.

Tao doesn't like the winter. It's way too cold and dry for his liking, and most importantly, it reminds him of how lonely he is. He probably wouldn't know the definition of it years ago, but nowadays it seems like that's all he's feeling. He's not sure when it started; this empty feeling, all he knows is that one day everything just snaps and he's all alone.

Everyday is the same. Sitting on the same chair, watching the same people he calls friends walk and talk around him. He would nod and laugh along but he doesn't really understand what they're saying, and when it comes down to it, Tao realizes he doesn't really know these people.

The sound of the open door snaps him out of his thought, and he nearly jumps when he realizes it's the source of his loneliness.

"Minseok ..." Tao mumbles unconsciously and surprises himself how the name slips off his tongue so easily.

He's thankful that Minseok is too busy chatting at the cashier counter to notice his surrounding, otherwise he would be able to see the emotions that are not even supposed to be there on Tao's face . A low chuckle emits from his throat as he stirs his coffee; what he's feeling is ridiculous because there's no reason for him to even feel this way. But It's seems like he's unable to take his eyes off of the other male; It's not surprising because Minseok tends to have that kind of effect on him.

Five minutes in and Tao finds it hard to look away, especially when Minseok's lips curl up before he lets out a loud laugh and proceeds to claps his hands excitedly like he just heard the funniest thing ever. Minseok has the best laugh, Tao thinks. It's even harder when Minseok puffs out his cheeks childishly and crosses his arms at his chest when the male behind the counter said something offensive. Tao should have listened to the voice in his head and look away but he doesn't, and now Minseok is leaning over the counter to lock lips the cashier guy, and it feels like the world just stop spinning.

He doesn't realize he's clutching on the table cloth until he accidentally yanks it so hard that his cup falls over, causing his coffee to spill everywhere. Great, he's caused a commotion when all he wants is to stay under the radar. He feels slightly relief when he realizes there aren't much customers in the shop and his hat is doing a great job to keep his identity as Korea's most popular rapper Zitao from the civilians. His relief doesn't last long because the moment he looks up, Minseok is turning his way.

His world stops spinning once again, and wow, does Minseok looks good or what. His slightly messy brown hair fits him perfectly, the plain white t- hugs his body nicely and don't even get Tao started on that black skinny. This is one of those times where Tao wonders why he was stupid enough to let go of someone as perfect as Minseok. Right, he remembers now, at the time his career seemed so much better than his own happiness.

It feels like Minseok is stomping on his heart and crushing it all over when he looks away without a tiny bit of acknowledgment. Does Tao not deserve a little wave? or a "Hi, how have you been?" Sighing dejectedly, Tao looks away only to catch  his own reflection on the window. That's when everything hits him, he's not the same Huang Zitao anymore. He can barely recognize himself in those ridiculously flashy and expensive clothes, let alone Minseok.

It takes him a few minutes to realize how out of place he is. He no longer fits in this world of simplicity but he belongs to the one with fake smiles and expensive brands. All the regrets pile in when he takes another glance of Minseok who is now in an embrace of another man, who Tao now recognizes as Kim Jongdae, Minseok's childhood friend. He silently wishes to trade place with Jongdae, even if it's just for a second because that's how badly he misses Minseok. 

With a heavy heart, he takes his bag and heads out the door where he hopes to get some fresh air and away from this heartache. But when he thinks things can't possibly get worse, his world comes shattering down, leaving him with nothing but a huge hole in his heart.

"Min min, where do you want to go for our honeymoon?" That's what comes out of Jongdae's mouth as he walks by and Tao is sure he's not ready nor does he even want to hear Minseok's answer.

He should walks away and never looks back because that seems to be the right thing to do but he somehow ends up standing on the sidewalk opposite from the coffee shop. Watching through the glass door as Jongdae whispers something Minseok's ear that makes the smaller male giggles in glee. He can't help but wonders if Minseok remembers the moments they shared; the little kisses on summer nights, the times they spent cuddling on the bed because it was too cold to move, or the promise to be together forever - because Tao remembers.

A/N

Hoping i'm on an okay start at least?

I just realized i wrote this last month but i ended up changing almost everything last minute bc yea, it was rlly ty

This is definitely not what i had in mind because i wanted to do something a whole lot angstier but somehow it turned into this ...

I might write another version for this or something (with lots of angst! Yes, i got into angsty world for some damn reason! I don't even like reading angst that much ><)

I only bothered with this bc i made that poster (originally for my ghei poster shop) but i ended up liking it and so i saved for this instead but yea, i guess you guise don't wanna know that ...

So okei, might change the tittle (bc wtf is that omfg)