“I quit.”

 

The owner of the restaurant looks up in disbelief from the white envelope placed on his desk at the man who is looking all around the office – anywhere but at him. Junmyeon picks up the envelope and clenches it so tightly it crumples in his hands before he strides around his table to shut the office door.

 

“Why?”

 

Does he really not know the reason? Yixing slowly pulls his gaze up from the ground to meet his eyes, blankly noting the desperation in the other man’s eyes. He knows Junmyeon doesn’t want him to go – Yixing doesn’t want to go either – but it’s the right choice. His chest tightens at the possibility that this may be the last time he will see Junmyeon, will see him smile, hold his hand, and tell him he loves him. He doesn’t want to go but he has to, for their sake and for Kyungsoo’s sake.

 

“You don’t need me here, Junmyeon,” he says softly, blinking rapidly in succession to hold back the tears he feels forming. Yixing somtimes hates this, the emotional part of relationships, even if he ponders whether or not he and Junmyeon were ever in one. Yixing removes his wrist Junmyeon’s hand and forces a smile on his lips that both of them know screams fake.

 

“Kyungsoo came back to you,” continues Yixing, his heart twisting excruciatingly in his ribcage. “That was the plan all along, wasn’t it? The two of you belong to each other. I-I was just a distraction.” He awkwardly pats Junmyeon’s shoulder but when the other recoils, he pulls back abruptly, hurt etched on his facial features. 

 

His gaze drops back onto the ground. “I’ll go say goodbye to the rest,” Yixing whispers, although a part of him hopes Junmyeon will ask him to stay, not just as a chef in his restaurant, but to stay in his life and that he is the one he really loves. He waits, for a full minute, but it doesn’t come. His cheeks burn with disappointment and humiliation as Yixing sidesteps the other man and exits the office.

 

It is obvious to say that his colleagues do not expect him to quit. Yixing is the restaurant’s head chef, and the mastermind behind several signature dishes that have propelled the restaurant into fame. They have all seen how close he is with Junmyeon and even joke about how the two of them have to be either soulmates or sworn brothers. His resignation is too out of the blue.

 

“Do you really have to leave? Where are you going?” Minseok, the sous chef, asks in worry. Yixing spares him a genuine smile and gives the latter a one-arm hug.

 

“I just need to take a long break,” he tells his second-in-command, lightly patting his shoulder. “I think it’s about time you get promoted anyway.” To the rest of them, Yixing gives them a low bow until Jongin and Yifan force him back up and envelope him in a group hug that grows to include Minseok and Zitao too.

 

“We’ll miss you,” Zitao says grimly and Yifan nods fervently. Yixing has to chuckle at Yifan because the latter is the stupid best friend who makes annoying Yixing his life motto. They will definitely see each other again.

 

The group of 4 insists on walking Yixing out the restaurant. Waving at his now ex-colleagues, he struggles to smile and lies about coming back to visit them. It is when Yixing forces himself to turn around and walk away that he nearly bumps into someone. Yixing finds himself unable to look at Kyungsoo in the eye as the other cheerily steadies him before he falls over, and hence quickly bows before slipping away.

 

Junmyeon deserves Kyungsoo, he tells himself, they are the ones who belong together. If Kyungsoo hadn’t asked for a break from their relationship, Junmyeon wouldn’t even think of getting together with him. Yixing knows this, and has known this for a while, but it doesn’t mean it is any less painful.

 

 

***

 

 

One of the differences between Yixing and Yifan is their beliefs when it comes to a four-letter word. Love. Yixing wants it, badly, the True Love he always finds in books and movies. One person who has the ability to start and stop his heart. One person he will spend the rest of his life with. Will share his ups and downs, his strengths and weaknesses, and still wholeheartedly loves him. He craves it, yearns it, but the closest he has ever come to it is to be the replacement of a man who hasn’t even fallen out of love from his relationship.

 

Yifan, on the other hand, sneers at the idea of love. He doesn’t believe in it, thinks it is just a fancier word for lust that includes the promise of a heartbreak. He steers away from commitments with as much determination as Yixing’s want for it. Things are easier, he claims, if people stop with their silly notions of love and just enjoy each other’s company. Yifan thinks this way, but Yixing highly doubts his Man-of-the-Moment, Zitao, feels the same.  

 

“Don’t worry,” Yifan says breezily at their next Sunday lunch over a 4-course meal he insisted Yixing prepare the day before. “Tao knows it’s just a fling. No feelings involved.”

 

Yixing plays with his food, pushing the rice grains around his plate with his metallic chopsticks. Yifan may be his best friend but he worries for the waiter. He doesn’t want the other to end up like him. Yixing kicks his best friend under the table, none too lightly, and is satisfied when the other man nearly chokes on his soup.

 

“Just promise you’ll be careful not to lead him on,” Yixing tells him flatly. The words are enough for Yifan to sense what is wrong with him, and the latter switches his attention from the bowl to Yixing.

 

“You quit because of Kyungsoo, didn’t you?”

 

Yixing swallows and looks away. He hasn’t ever spoken to Yifan about his questionable relationship with Junmyeon, but as a best friend, it isn’t too difficult for Yifan to read his body language.

 

“Do you want me to kill him,” Yifan states, so matter-of-factly Yixing has to crack a smile at his friend’s attempt at acting like a thug. He shakes his head in amusement at him, but Yifan isn’t one who gives up so easily. “How about we go drinking tonight? Find someone for you to hook up with?”

 

The suggestion is tempting but Yixing has never been the type for one-night-stands and he isn’t about to start now. “I appreciate your offer, Fan... but I have a run early tomorrow.”

 

At this, Yifan rolls his eyes and shakes his head in exasperation. “You and your hobby for marathons,” his best friend mutters, picking up his spoon to continue eating. “I really don’t understand why you would pay to enter these runs when you can do it for free around the block.”

 

“It’s for charity,” Yixing interjects and kicks him again under the table. “Besides... I need it. It’d take my mind off things.”

 

 

***

 

 

The gunshot sounds off into the air, signalling the start of the run. Yixing jogs at a slow pace, unconcerned with how the rest of the runners pass him by. He doesn’t run to win anyway; he runs for charity, and today’s event is all about running for the disabled. Yixing glances at the row of reporters crazily snapping away next to the pavement and cannot resist a derisive snort.

 

“Wow, these people are hardcore,” he mutters, wrinkling his nose. He has taken part in a variety of marathons over the years but he can’t remember the last time there is so much media coverage on it. There aren’t any celebrities around, are they?

 

Feeling a stare on him, Yixing turns and sees a lock of bubblegum pink hair belonging to a man that is only slightly taller than him. His gaze follows up to examine his baby face and inwardly he thinks this man is really pretty. Yixing flashes a bright smile at him who clearly does not expect to be acknowledged and hence stumbles a little before recollecting himself. He tries not to chuckle.

 

“Hi! I’m Yixing.”

 

The stranger blinks before offering an amused smile. “… Luhan.”

 

Luhan? His eyes light up and his grin widens a little bit more. “Fellow Chinese!” Yixing crows happily and punches his new friend lightly on the arm. He takes the other man’s introduction as a good sign and curiously asks if Luhan has ever attended marathons like these because he has never seen him around before and although he may be a forgetful person, Luhan’s face is definitely a face he will remember. Briefly, he wonders if he has said a little too much, but it’s always the case when he meets someone new that intrigues him.

 

“I was... kind of signed up for this against my own will,” Luhan tells him dryly, sounding a little breathless when they haven’t even reached the half way mark. Yixing grins lopsidedly and tells him it’s quite obvious before going on to talk about the different runners he met over the years, followed by the events he had been to and then goes on to compare the brands of sport shoes. Luhan is a good listener and a great conversationalist, and by the time they are near the finishing line, it occurs to Yixing he has not thought of Junymeon at all.

 

“Are you attached?” Luhan asks suddenly, interrupting him just before he launches into the topic of his favourite sports. Yixing is taken aback but he slowly shakes his head. His pulse races and he isn’t so sure if the cause of it is the 10km run or if it is Luhan.

 

“Do you want to come to my place afterwards?”

 

His pulse is now going at a hundred miles a second. Yixing tries not to smile too widely; instead he raises his eyebrow curiously. “Are you asking me out?”

 

“I am if you’re okay with it. Or we can just hang out.”

 

This time Yixing doesn’t stop a full smile from blooming on his lips. Take that, Yifan. Who says he has to go to a pub to get picked up? “I’d like if it’s a date,” he decides, willing his silly heart to calm down. “I’ll meet you at the carpark after I collect my bag, ok?” He doesn’t give Luhan a chance to reply, in case he changes his mind, so Yixing punches him again on the arm and sprints the rest of the distance, leaving the other man to stare at his in bewildered amusement.

 

 

***

 

 

They find themselves at Luhan’s apartment without too much difficulty. The car ride had been nothing but pleasant, peppered with conversational topics that ranged from the weather to the lame predictable dramas that are airing currently. Yixing settles down onto the sofa comfortably next to Luhan and surrounds himself with the numerous cushions while he looks around the apartment curiously.

 

“So what do you do?” Luhan asks when the conversation lulls into a comfortable silence.

 

Yixing is quiet for a while but it isn’t long before he has another one of his smiles on his face. “I create art,” he tells him. “Culinary arts.”

 

“A chef?”

 

Tightly hugging a cushion, Yixing nods. “I’m out of a job at the moment though,” he says quietly, a hint of sorrow in his voice as he recalls the restaurant he has dedicated his life to for the past 3 years. The cushions around Yixing fall to the ground when he stands up suddenly and grabs Luhan’s wrist.

 

“Hey! Why not I cook for you? You can hire me as your personal chef if you like the food,” he suggests jokingly and drags Luhan to the kitchen. Shoving the memories to the back of his mind, Yixing rummages Luhan’s cupboards and refrigerator, appalled at the lack of ingredients he can find from them.

 

Luhan seems to be able to read his thoughts. “You really don’t have to,” he says guiltily, “We can order delivery if you’re hungry—”

 

“No, no, no. I want to—” Yixing cuts in insistently before he can finish his sentence. He examines the few ingredients he manages to dig out that hasn’t expired and snorts under his breath. “You don’t really shop for groceries, do you? Well, challenge accepted! Just sit there and watch me do the magic.”

 

So Luhan does. Conscious of Luhan’s presence in the kitchen, Yixing goes ahead and washes, chops and mixes the ingredients, eyebrows furrowed in concentration and lips pursed into a pout as he focuses on his task. He doesn’t notice Luhan slide off his high kitchen stool until the distance between them is nonexistent and Luhan plucks the chopping knife from his hand to hold his wrist. Yixing’s breath hitches when Luhan leans in to press his lips softly against his, and his heart feels like it is about to burst.

 

His eyes flutter close as Yixing deepens the kiss and slips his arms around Luhan’s waist to draw him closer. Even through the layers of clothes, he feels the heat radiating from Luhan and is so hot it sets Yixing on fire. They separate, just a tiny distance, to catch their breath and Luhan takes the opportunity to tenderly trace Yixing’s cheekbone and jaw while he stares back with wide eyes and shallow breaths.

 

“Let’s eat later,” murmurs Luhan huskily, and Yixing is so caught up in the moment, he nods.

 

 

***

 

 

Junmyeon looks him up two days after he has quit the restaurant. He is pacing along the corridor outside Yixing’s apartment when Yixing arrives home, weary after being turned down from yet another job interview. His heart thumps loudly at the sight of the other man and Yixing has to remind himself that Junmyeon isn’t his anymore. He never was.

 

“What are you doing here?” Yixing asks warily, not looking at the latter as he opens the door. Junmyeon follows him into the apartment, and the door hasn’t even fully shut when he grasps Yixing’s wrist and shoves him none too lightly against the wall, causing Yixing to wince at the impact on his waist. He looks at Junmyeon with wide eyes, perplexity and longing in his gaze. “J-Junmyeon?”

 

The restaurant owner buries his head into Yixing’s shoulder at the sound of his name and wraps his arms around him in a suffocatingly tight hug. It takes Yixing a couple of moments to unfreeze himself and return the hug, gently rubbing the latter’s back. He ought to push him away and make him leave his apartment but Yixing still can’t let go. A part of him feels a little sorry to Luhan but he doesn’t even know what his relationship with him is.

 

“I miss you, Xing,” Junmyeon whispers, warm breath tingling on Yixing’s ear. Yixing can’t help but melt a little in his embrace and he hates himself for hoping.

 

“Did something happen?” Yixing asks softly. “Can Minseok manage the kitchen?”

 

Junmyeon’s short hairs tickle the side of Yixing’s face when he shakes his head. “It’s not the restaurant. It’s me. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

 

His heart leaps sky high at the confession. Does this mean–?

 

“Can’t you come back to me?”

 

A shy smile forms on Yixing’s lips. “R-really?” he asks breathlessly. “What about… Kyungsoo?”

 

“He doesn’t have to know.”

 

… What? The smile vanishes from Yixing’s face and he crashes from the high he feels mere seconds ago. He is so dense. Of course Junmyeon doesn’t plan on giving Kyungsoo up. Yixing is such an idiot for thinking otherwise, that Junmyeon has come for him because he actually loves him. He blinks back the tears forming in his eyes and musters up the strength to push the restaurant owner away.

 

“Go home, Junmyeon,” he forces himself to say, averting his hurt gaze from him. Yixing yanks the door open and points at the corridor outside but instead of leaving right away, Junmyeon steps towards him and gives him a kiss that takes his breath away. Like the fool that he is, Yixing responds to it like Junmyeon’s lips is the cure to his lovesickness.

 

“Think about it,” Junmyeon tells him with a smile that sickens Yixing to the bone. “Nobody else will love you like I do.”

 

 

***

 

 

Luhan’s call comes unexpectedly at eleven at night, three days after their hookup. Yixing will be lying if he says he isn’t delighted by the other man’s call; the past few days, he had been trying not to think about whether or not he had misread the signs. Junmyeon’s words have been repeating themselves in Yixing’s head and he badly needs to think of something or someone else. Luhan is perfect for it.

 

When Luhan appears at his doorstep, Yixing can smell the stench of alcohol on his breath. Stumbling a little under Luhan’s weight, he drags the other man to his only bedroom where Luhan sprawls himself on a bed that’s meant for one.

 

“Why are you so drunk?” Yixing admonishes while he pulls off Luhan’s shoes.

 

“Yixiiiiing,” he slurs drunkenly. A stupid smile forms on his lips, yet it manages to make Yixing’s heart thud loudly against his chest. “Did you miss me?”

 

How much of the conversation will Luhan remember in the morning? Yixing chews on his lower lip and shrugs. “That depends,” he replies cautiously. “I thought we were a... one-time thing.”

 

 Luhan’s frown tugs at his heartstrings and Yixing barely has time to realise the other reaching for him until a pull sends him tumbling down on the bed next to him. His breath catches in his throat when Luhan stares at him with unfocused eyes and he swears his heart stops when Luhan proclaims, “I like you.”

 

Ignoring the way his stomach flops at Luhan’s confession, Yixing scoots closer until the tips of their noses touch. “I like you too,” he whispers and kisses him.

 

 

***

 

 

It is on his fifth date with Luhan that Yixing realises that their relationship may have been a lie. He had spent the night at Luhan’s apartment and intentionally wakes up early to prepare breakfast while the other man is still deep in slumber. The bacon in the pan is turning a nice crisp brown when he hears a crash behind him. Yixing turns around to find an unfamiliar man with a narrowed glare and hair as pink as Luhan’s.

 

“Who the are you,” he spits venomously, index finger pointing rudely at Yixing. Yixing freezes in bewilderment and opens his mouth to reply when he is interrupted by none other than Luhan.

 

“What the hell are you doing here, Sehun?” Luhan retorts with folded arms. Yixing hears the ice in his voice, barely masking the pain beneath it, and knows instantly that he should leave them be. Quietly, he turns off the stove and slips back into the bedroom in search for his clothes.

 

Spying his jeans on the floor, Yixing bends over to pull it out from under the bed but he gets more than he expects when a picture frame is tugged out from underneath too. With bated breath, Yixing turns it over and nearly drops it. His heart twists agonizingly at the photo of Luhan and that man called Sehun caught in what looks like a passionate make out session.

 

He doesn’t want to assume anything but Yixing is terrified. “Luhan will explain everything,” he mumbles to himself, but the hope he has is slowly fading into resignation. He has been in this situation and he knows the signs.

 

Yixing loses count of how many times he finds Junmyeon looking at Kyungsoo’s photos, waiting for Kyungsoo’s text messages when Yixing is just next to him. He loses count of how many times he wishes, so desperately, that he may be able to fully possess Junmyeon’s love. He loses count of how many times he has his heart broken when he gets pushed aside, again and again.

 

Maybe Yifan is right. Maybe there is no such thing as love.

 

The door yanks open to reveal a harried Luhan with evident tear tracks down his face. Yixing wants to go over to hug him, and kiss his tears away, but he stands his ground and instead glances down at the photo frame in his hand. Luhan’s eyes follow and an unmistakable flush colours his cheeks.

 

“I’m sorry, Yixing,” is enough to explain it all.

 

He struggles to paste a smile on his face but his lips tremble at the knowledge that Luhan, like Junmyeon, has only used him as a distraction. The gaping hole in his chest makes it so, so difficult for him to keep breathing.

 

“It’s okay. It’s not like we are in a relationship,” Yixing manages to say and hopes so badly Luhan will say otherwise. Luhan doesn’t. Luhan does nothing to stop him from leaving the apartment and leaving a piece of his heart behind.

 

 

***

 

 

Yifan doesn’t stop glancing at Yixing in the hour he has downed half a dozen soju bombs. Yixing ignores his best friend and beckons for the bartender to bring him another round.

 

“Are you going to tell me what happened?”

 

Yixing gulps down another shot before he replies, not looking at Yifan because he doesn’t need the latter’s body language reading skills right now. “I’m fine.”

 

“You are not fine,” snaps Yifan irritably and gestures at the empty shot glasses on the bar counter as if to prove a point. He snatches the eighth shot Yixing is about to glug down and puts it far away from the tipsy man. “I think you’ve drank enough for the night, Xing. Let’s get you home.”

 

“I’m fine,” Yixing reiterates, shooting Yifan a scowl when the latter will not let him have his drinks. He lets out a long sigh, knowing that it is pointless to argue with Yifan, and hops down from the stool, nearly falling over if Yifan hasn’t grabbed him in time.

 

Yifan all but drags him out of the pub and shoves him into a cab. It occurs to Yixing that the situation is a little funny; usually their roles will be reversed and Yixing is the one who has to look after Yifan.

 

“Go home and get a good rest. Call me tomorrow, okay?” Yifan orders with a concerned frown before he gives the cab driver Yixing’s address and slams the door shut. When they are at a safe distance from where they left Yifan, Yixing mutters a different address to the driver. He doesn’t want to go home and be suffocated by the loneliness. He wants to be drunk, so drunk that he can’t remember Luhan or Junmyeon, much less his own name.

 

He sits on the plastic slide of the playground with cans of beer from the convenience store surrounding him. Yixing finishes three of them in quick succession and falls backwards onto the slide to look at the starless night sky. Just a vast piece of darkness in his vision and in his thoughts.

 

He thinks back on the night Luhan appears at his house without any warning and wonders if the reason he had been drunk was Sehun. All along Luhan hasn’t meant for Yixing to be more than a one day fling, has he? It was why he didn’t call him after that day. Something must have happened between him and Sehun for him to get so drunk and look up Yixing in the middle of the night. He feels stupid, at how much hope he has pinned on Luhan, who all along only has Sehun in his eyes.

 

“... Yixing? Is that you?”

 

He opens his eyes blearily at the sound of his name and blinks once, twice at the face that hovers above him. “Junmyeon,” he calls hoarsely, and lets his former lover pull him to a sitting position on the slide.

 

Junmyeon squints at Yixing. “You’re drunk,” he murmurs, and if Yixing closes his eyes, he can almost believe there is a hint of affection in his voice. Junmyeon kneels down in front of Yixing to be at his eye level and cups his face. He can’t tell whether the warmth in his stomach is from the alcohol or from Junmyeon’s touch but warning bells start ringing in his head when he feels lips on his own.

 

“What are you doing?” Yixing chokes, struggling to pull away from Junmyeon who has an unyielding grip and instead of letting Yixing go, he mashes their lips together again, sending a wave of confusion through Yixing. “Junmyeon—”

 

“Why are you being so difficult, Xing?” the other man asks in frustration at Yixing’s continuous resistance. “I can’t stop myself from loving you. Is it my fault that I love both you and Kyungsoo?”

 

The thoughtless words crush Yixing so brutally he chokes back a sob. Maybe Junmyeon is right. He questions himself the point of pushing Junmyeon away. At least Junmyeon loves him, right? Head pounding, he stops struggling in Junmyeon’s arms and closes his eyes, letting darkness shroud his consciousness.

 

 

***

 

 

The lights of the restaurant flicker out as Zitao flips the sign on the door to read ‘Closed’. Yixing stuffs his hands in his pockets from across the street, keeping himself hidden from view. Anxiety eats at his nerves and his breathing slows. Is he really going to go through with this?

 

Yixing counts the number of ex-colleagues leaving the restaurant, watches them wistfully as they wave each other goodbye and head off in different directions. Ten minutes pass, then as discussed, Yixing crosses the street and turns the door knob of the restaurant back door where a figure is waiting and sweeps him into his arms. The corners of Yixing’s eyes crinkle upwards when he laughs at the expression of eagerness on Junmyeon’s face.

 

“Why are you laughing at me,” Junmyeon pouts childishly, “Don’t you miss me too?”

 

Yixing pretends to look thoughtful. “Hmm… maybe,” he teases but the kiss he gives Junmyeon spells the obvious. He allows the other to navigate him from the kitchen to his office and sits down obediently on his lap. The office is less than an ideal place but Junmyeon’s apartment is out of the question because he shares it with Kyungsoo and the other man doesn’t want to go to Yixing’s place… for reasons unknown to him.

 

The playful kiss transforms into a passionate one and Junmyeon kisses him so hard his lips bruises and he sees stars. Yixing loops his hands around Junmyeon’s neck and leans in as close as he can, so much so that the wheels of the chair rolls backwards and hits the wall. “I love you,” he murmurs and the other echoes his words. It’s times like these that he feels all warm and fuzzy inside, that he actually means a lot more to Junmyeon than just someone he’s cheating with. That he feels less unworthy of love.

 

“I’m glad you came back to me.”

 

Yixing pulls away slightly to look at Junmyeon, doubt apparent in his eyes. “Really?” he asks hesitantly. “Even when you... have Kyungsoo?”

 

He shrugs and runs a finger down Yixing’s spine that has him shiver. “It’s different,” Junmyeon says finally, “Kyungsoo… is independent. Whereas you make me want to protect you.”

 

Yixing supposes this is better than nothing but he wants to argue that he can be independent too. He’s older than Kyungsoo for goodness’ sake.

 

A shrill sound pierces through the room, startling the two who never looked this guilty before. Yixing quickly jumps up from Junmyeon’s lap while the latter searches his drawers for his mobile phone and hurriedly picks it up. He walks around the office in an attempt to try not to eavesdrop, but he can’t help listening in.

 

“Yes, Soo, I’m still in the restaurant,” Junmyeon says into the phone. “I need to finish up this month’s bookkeeping… you go ahead to bed without me. Mmhmm. I love you too…”

 

Yixing clears his throat uncomfortably at that and silently walks out of the office to the quiet restaurant floor, pulling a chair out to sit. He doesn’t want to hear their conversation anymore, doesn’t want to compete for Junmyeon’s attention with a phone. He places his head down on the cool surface of the glass table and shuts his eyes.

 

“Yixing?” a voice calls out in disbelief. A voice that is clearly not Junmyeon. He jumps up from his seat immediately and looks straight into his best friend’s incredulous face. Yifan flicks a glance towards the office, and back at Yixing; without a second word, he drags Yixing out of the restaurant.

 

“Are you out of your mind?” Yifan hisses, “Junmyeon is still with Kyungsoo!”

 

“I thought you went home,” is what Yixing says instead, who suddenly finds his feet very interesting.

 

“Came back for my phone,” he says curtly before shaking his head. Yixing feels like crap knowing that his best friend disapproves of him even without him saying anything but things aren’t so simple. He doesn’t like this situation either. He hasn’t intended on cheating with Junmyeon. He just… he just wants to be loved.

 

“Junmyeon’s not worth it, Xing,” Yifan says flatly. “He’s not worth you breaking your heart over.”

 

All of a sudden Yixing’s arm is being wrenched from the taller man and he finds himself pulled backwards to stand behind Junmyeon. Junmyeon glares at Yifan, the intensity of his eyes making up for the height difference.

 

“Mind your own business, Yifan,” Junmyeon tells him coldly. “No one needs your opinions.” He turns around and tries to drag Yixing through the back door again but Yifan tears Junyemon’s grip away and practically throws Yixing behind him. Junmyeon narrows his eyes at the taller man. “Stay away if you want to keep your job, Yifan. I don’t appre—”

 

The flying punch comes out from nowhere to land squarely on Junmyeon’s face. Yixing watches in horror as blood drips from Junmyeon’s nose and he wants to hurry over to help him but his idiotic best friend has a tight grip on the collar of his shirt, yanking him back when he moves even an inch.

 

“I don’t want to work for a cheater,” snarls Yifan. “I quit. And if you don’t stay away from Yixing, I swear I will burn the restaurant down. With you inside.” He storms off with a helpless Yixing in tow, unmindful of the hard punches Yixing sends his chest.

 

“Goddammit, Yifan,” Yixing bursts out when the taller man finally releases him halfway down the block. “Why don’t you mind your own business?”

 

“You are my business,” he snaps heatedly. “Are you blind? Junmyeon is a ing . Why are you sticking around him? Is there a brain in that head of yours or is it really empty?”

 

“Are you any better?” Yixing shoots back bitterly. “How many hearts have you broken? How many people have you pushed away because you’re scared of commitment? Before you judge someone else, why don’t you take a look at yourself!” He fires Yifan one last glare before he spins on his heel and storms away.

 

 

***

 

 

The rest of the week passes by uneventfully. After the big confrontation outside the restaurant, Yixing hasn’t been in contact with anyone. He manages to get a job as a sous chef in a hotel and celebrates it by drinking alone at the pub he was last with Yifan. He longs for his best friend desperately, but he doesn’t want to be the first to apologise. It’s childish, yes, but if Yifan can be childish then so can he.

 

Anyway, the hours of his new job prove to be too demanding for him to meet up with anyone. He usually becomes so tired after work he just goes straight home and crashes on the bed. If Yixing hasn’t registered for the marathon a month ago, he will have probably given the hobby up, but since his name is on the list, he decides to participate in his very last run.

 

Wrapping a small towel around his neck, Yixing holds his breath for the loud gunshot and takes off immediately once he hears it. He keeps a steady pace, somewhat faster than how he used to run, but still keeping a distance from majority of the runners who are ahead of him.

 

“Hi.”

 

Is someone talking to him? He glances sideways and nearly trips over his feet when he sees Luhan next to him. His face goes into an automatic .jpg mode until Luhan waves his hand in front of him several times and he blushes sheepishly.

 

“What brings you here?” Yixing asks, vaguely aware that he no longer feels his heart racing at the sight of the pretty man. “I thought you don’t like running.”

 

Luhan lets out a long suffering sigh that makes Yixing laugh. “I guess someone signed you up again?”

 

Luhan then nods ruefully and points at a man a distance in front of them, with pink hair similar to his. Ah, Sehun.

 

“Looks like things worked out between you two, then.”

 

Luhan nods again and this time, he has a properly chastised expression on his face. “I’m sorry, Yixing,” he says quietly. “I really liked you. It’s just—”

 

“Oh no you don’t,” someone says rigidly from behind them. Yixing whips his head around and his jaw promptly drops at seeing Yifan. Yifan. At a run. He must be dreaming!

 

Yifan taps Luhan’s shoulder and forces himself between the two, with Yixing gaping at him all the while. Yixing feels a pang of hurt when his best friend doesn’t spare him a glance but then he hears the latter mumbling under his breath and he feels much, much better. A corner of his lips curls up into a smirk.

 

“Did you just call me attractive?” he asks loudly, fascinated with how the tips of Yifan’s ears turn red. When Yifan doesn’t reply, Luhan helpfully nods on his other side and answers for him.

 

“He did. He also said you’re a magnet for s…” Luhan trails off and grimaces. “Wait – did he just call me an ?” Yixing shoots him an apologetic smile and the other snorts with a shake of his head before he runs ahead of them and yells over his shoulder, “Call me sometime, Yixing!”

 

“He will not!” Yifan shouts and this time Yixing can’t stop himself from giggling. Yixing raises an amused eyebrow at the latter, finally taking in his complete getup and wonders aloud if Yifan actually bought an entire set of sportswear just to take part in this one run.

 

“Why are you even running, Fan?” he asks casually. He hears his heart thumping and the blood pounding in his ears and doesn’t even realise he is holding his breath in anticipation. What does he want Yifan to say anyway?

 

The taller man coughs awkwardly and fidgets with the towel he is holding but doesn’t say a word. Pretending to be annoyed, Yixing rolls his eyes and picks up his pace, running a few metres in front of Yifan for just five seconds before the latter catches up with his long legs.

 

“… I like you.”

 

Yixing’s breath catches but he doesn’t dare hope. He has been hurt so many times he learnt the hard way not to trust easily, even if the person who spoke the words is his best friend.

 

“I like you too,” he says mildly and Yifan perks up for a second before he looks crestfallen again.

 

“I mean, I’m in love with you, Yixing,” Yifan corrects and stops in his tracks so suddenly the runner behind nearly collides into him. “I can’t commit to any relationships because… because the other person isn’t you. All you ever notice is Junmyeon, Junmyeon, Junmyeon.”

 

He inhales sharply and this time, Yixing stops jogging on the spot to come to a complete standstill too. He barely hears the swearing from the people around them as he grabs Yifan’s hand and walks him across the path to the side, stomach doing somersaults like it’s taking part in the Olympics.

 

“Don’t you like Zitao?” Yixing asks slowly.

 

“He was just a distraction.”

 

Yixing winces. “But you didn’t… you never made a move,” he points out. “Not even after I quit the restaurant.”

 

“I didn’t want to look like I was taking advantage of you when you were so depressed,” Yifan tells him softly, reaching over to clasp Yixing’s hand in his. Yixing stares at the difference in the sizes of their hands, marveling at how it oddly fits and why it takes him so long to realise it. Yifan’s large hand cups the side of his face to tilt Yixing’s face up and without any warning, he presses his lips against Yixing’s and kisses him so gently it calms the aerobic movements in his stomach.

 

“So will you give me a chance?” asks Yifan tentatively.

 

Throwing his arms around Yifan’s neck, Yixing stands at his toes to steady his balance and kisses his silly best friend. “Yes, you idiot,” he chokes, “I was waiting for you all along.”

 

---

 

A/N: /flips a table/ I'm sorry. Idk what I was writing. ;___;