Four Letter Lie
by kiba kai

Soft smoke was dancing on its own accord when there was no wind to carry it by. Dark brown eyes watched quietly as the tip of his cigarette slowly burned out. Long fingers made no afford to neither move it to his lips nor flick the ashes off.

At this time of the year, Paris' weather was at its best. The day was long and the sun shone bright. What could possibly be better than European summer spirit? Most of cafes were able to setup tables on the side street, putting a lot of life back to the usual dull and gray capital.

Aside from city dwellers, the tourists from all over the world also loved to walk down the avenue de Champs Elysees, Arc de Triomphe de l'Étoile, the Eiffel, pretty much everywhere were packed with multi-cultural people who longed for this so-called 'Romantic City'.

Yeah, right.

Romantic.

The ashes on the cigarette finally fell down on its own. Still, Bang Yongguk made no move to neither put it to his lips nor just smash it.

Too hurt to keep it but too regret to let it go.

He took a deep breath while looking away. On this side street cafe, he tried to seclude himself as much as possible. He wasn't particularly waiting for someone anyway.

Because that person would never show up.

Not now.

Not last month or last year.

Never.

The promise wasn't meant to be kept.

That four letter word wasn't supposed to be real.

He wasn't naive. He knew the words 'fling' ... 'convenient', 'temporary', 'fascination'... 'frustration'

...and that word 'crush' in the meaning of 'broken' ...by force.

Who would have known that such small hands were so powerful enough to break him to pieces?

Small hands.

Frail body.

Captivating eyes.

Jung Daehyun.

...

"May I refill you coffee, sir?"

Those words pulled Yongguk out of his reverie, he gave a small nod while looking away.

12.00

The waitress was gone when he closed his eyes again.

'Are you my colleague for this project?'

Soft words resounded. Somehow his ears were tricking him or maybe his mind was. But he didn't care...he really didn't.

'Cause I don't see any other Asian around. Are you a photographer I supposed to meet, Bang Yongguk?'

...Maybe he shouldn't nod. Exactly three years ago at this very same spot.

'...Not much of a talker, I see. Let's get this over as quick as possible then.'

It was a hard work, really...

No matter how much Yongguk get used to shoot with strangers but this one was different; no sweet word exchanged nor petty conversation. Yongguk himself was quite a famous photographer which countless models were dying to get their hands on, so, most of them threat him with respect, more or less.

But at that time when everything in his lone studio was all set; lighting, a rack full of designer clothes and four-poster bed, who knew that everything would never be the same.

'Take them off.'

Was the first thing that he actually said to Mr. Jung for the first camera test, meant for his personal clothes which weren't any less fine. He looked taken back, which Yongguk suspected that the sentence itself wasn't the main reason, but after a match of staring he finally gave in.

A jacket.

A cardigan.

His eyes couldn't leave how those small hands lifted each layer off that lithe body. A sun-kiss skin was so flawless; neither tattoo nor piercing, just him. At the moment those expressive eyes met his, Yongguk understood how Daehyun got into this position of the industry...

The best.

.

It wasn't just his body... those curves and lines... but the way Daehyun composed himself, he knew the right amount of exposure to make one heart beating messily.

...The way those hands moved over toned flesh...

hard chest...

inner thigh...

And onlooker just knew his mouth went dry.

.

The room was silence safe for series of shutter clicks and soft rustle of clothes.

'Look at the camera.'

Low voice commanded since the model seemed to be focus only on pleasing the eye with his body. It was what Daehyun famous for, the ice prince, they called him. Facial expression other than flaming one's desire was rare, either that or he wasn't looking at the camera at all. He didn't need to.

'...And do something else rather than seduce me.'

Because this patience should not be tested.

'I didn't...'

Voice calmly answered, Yongguk could hear the chuckle at the end of the sentence no matter how faint it was.

'...I haven't even start.'

.

.

Brown eyes watching.

Now it was the photographer's turn to fidgeting.

The model didn't make a move other than lean on one of the four bed post, ...black shirt was revealing.

But it wasn't enough... Yongguk closed his eyes for a moment before approaching the bed, his hand moved that designed shirt away from taut stomach, fingers 'accidentally' brushed all the way down.

A silken touch.

...Big brown eyes never leave his.

Slowly, long legs began to fold up, knees gradually inched away from each other.

Toes were curling on soft mattress.

...

It was hard.

Everything was.

Yet, Daehyun laid there like he felt nothing. With that look by the corner of his eyes... and a smirk on those full lips.

Models were supposed to be fascinating, Yongguk knew that by heart. Being professional photographer, he met numbers of human being that should not belong to this earth.

But none of them were close to this.

Doe eyes with full red lips were able to create such a breath-taking expression. In just mere second, the room was heated up and so was ...everything.

Yongguk hardly made a move on those models, not like they didn't interesting but under the impression that this romantic city was something to be blamed. Who would deny a body to warm your bed underneath Paris's sky?

But this time, he took the risk.

A daring touch.

And the reward was so ...intoxicated. Where exactly was the cloud nine? He swore he had been to a place higher than that.

.

A movement of soft lips that left his knees shaken.

A skin that heated up everywhere he touched like it was on fire.

A breathe.

A sigh.

All of those, he took them so painfully slow... like he wouldn't want to let go of this mesmerizing moment... like he wanted to remember everything even a flutter of these eyelashes.

A minute or two before everything broke apart, including his senses ...because every move Daehyun made, his breath was stolen.

The way those eyes glanced over tan shoulder...

Long legs moved apart...

Full lips begging

...Heart beating

...Words falling.

.

It wasn't one time thing, thank God.

...

A project that supposed to be ended in 2 weeks turned into 2 months. His boss didn't question anything because his deadline could not be fixed.

A photo shoot session to enhance the visual of fragrance 'deceptive', one with high end sponsored clothes and sparkling accessories.

...and another one with bare skin.

Maybe there really was something going on in Daehyun's head in some moments ...because Yongguk randomly captured a soft smile.

Finally, the project was done with joyful delayed yet beautifully. But Daehyun didn't go back to Korea. Instead, he asked for a place to stay;

...left side of Yongguk's bed to be exact.

Days turned to week and weeks turned to months, unexpectedly, this unearth creature slowly given in to him... Yongguk wasn't sure when does a smirk of satisfaction turned into a sweet smile, the real one. A proper conversation rather than frustrated moans or coarse grunts.

Maybe time could do the trick.

As well as every kiss and breakfast in the morning... or a hand-holding walk in the afternoon. Maybe, reading books on a lap or a smile after silly homemade dinners. Maybe a wall full of one person's photo on said person's birthday.

Or a ring.

Thing he got back from Daehyun was four letter word he didn't expected to hear.

He never hoped that high.

.

At the end of the year, that significant photo shoot was nominated for a ground- breaking response; with rare yet alluring smile from Jung Daehyun, the famous ice prince on display, those media had gone crazy. Yongguk, who didn't go back to Korea for the ceremony, received such praise over the phone with a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips... and one hand holding on said model by his side.

.

And they lived happily ever after.

.

.

They did.

...For a year.

.

Before one phone call in the middle of the night.

.

Yongguk didn't hear the whole conversation, just...

'Why?'

'...'

'Why now?'

'I don't know...'

'...'

'Let me think about it.'

.

It was the time Yongguk realized that he knows next to nothing about Daehyun's past.

All the times he never cared about person's background because he believed in things he personally touched. And those touches were more than enough for him to fell for.

He chose to directly confront Daehyun after a while, a whole week for him to prepared for whatever the worst thing that might become.

...It turned out to be the worst.

He didn't suspect that Daehyun already belonged to someone else. They used to be in love but Daehyun was left behind...

This top model accepted the projects because he wanted some times to compose himself... to mend his broken pieces.

Paris should be dull and uneventful.

Sad...

Desaturated.

Yongguk should never be painted in this smudged canvas.

But all the colors seemed to be dancing on their own, every carefully created such calm and peaceful scenery.

New picture over the old, chaotic one.

But the old were never faded.

...and just that one phone call brushed it all out.

...

He tried.

Every way.

Until the day Daehyun stood on the doorway, one hand holding a leather bag he first came here with.

.

...Those soft lips creating four letter word Yongguk wished he never heard.

If it was never real...

Don't say that four letter word unless you really feel it.

Don't casually say it in the park where the warm sunlight and fresh grass embrace you. Don't say it in the kitchen when you learn how to cook for the first time. Don't say it first in the morning with someone sharing your warm blanket. Don't say it in the thro of passion after mind blowing you would never forget.

Don't say it after tear stricken confession that could make you wanted to die.

...Don't say it if the following word from your lips was goodbye.

...

It was too late when he let that person walked out that door.

Too late then.

Too late now.

But he still sat here where they first met. Lamenting those moments he would never forget...

Too hurt to keep it but too regret to let it go.

The cigarette was burned out

Its ashes fell away on the dull gray.

.

"May I refill you coffee, sir?"

Same question by the same waitress was asked again.

15.00

Yongguk scanned the crowd for hundredth times today... for a pair of soft brown eyes that might mirror his longing.

He found none.

.

He nodded.

fin.