I'm not a parent

The Cracking Mask

i really reall hate my parents' parenting style. i knew this since i was young. i even told my mom when i was young. 

i just cant do anything.  i would always tell my friends i couldnt hang out because i knew my friends would say no or about every single detail.

but the thing that bothers me the most is that i have to BE MY BROTHER'S MOTHER FOR HIM.

IM NOT A PARENT

I DONT EVEN WANT KIDS

MY BROTHER IS AWFUL AND MEAN AND HAS HUGE ANGER PROBLEMS AND HES NOT MY ING KID.

he's yours! you desciding to have him! not me! i shouldn't have to watch him, feed him, help him on his homework, do his laundry, remind him to take a shower, take him with me whereever i go. IM NOT A PARENT.

MY LITTLE BROTHER HAS BEEN THE REASON I COULDNT HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS SINCE I WAS 11.

I WAS A 11 YEAR OLD BASICALLY IN CHARGE OF RAISING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.

THATS ING MESSED UP. 

NOW MY BROTHER IS 11 AND YOU'RE TELLING ME HE CANT PLAY VIDEO GAMES ALONE FOR AN HOUR!?!?!?!?! WTF

LITERALLY MY BROTHER IS ON HIS COMPUTER WITHOUT MOVING AN INCH FOR HOURS!! HE DOESNT EVEN EAT DINER WITH US.

he's not my responsibilityyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

and then my mom goes "renae, you cant have everything you want, we actually let you do whatever you want like last weekend you slept over your parents house."

DONT MAKE ME ING COUGH.

THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME I SLEPT OVER A FRIENDS HOUSE.

IM ING 15 AND THAT WAS THE FIRST TIME THEY LET ME SLEEP OVER AND I HAD TO ING BEG.

AND I CAN ONLY GO TO LIKE 50% OF THE THINGS I ASK TO GO TO AND WHEN THEY SAY YES THEY PICK ME UP 3 HOURS EARLY SAYING "ITS NOT NORMAL TO BE OVER A FRIENDS HOUSE ALL DAY."

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME

SERIOUSLY I SWEAR TO GO IM GONNA RUN AWAY

I DONT CARE ANYMORE

I NEED FREEDOM

I HATE THE RESTRICTIONS AND LIFE STYLE THEY FORCE UPON ME 

AND I HATE HOW I CANNOT STAND UP FOR MYSELF OR JUSTICIFY

AND I HATE THIS STUPID "Y" KEY BECAUSE IT DOESNT PUSH DOWN EASY

YTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYYYYHYHHHHHHHHHHHHH77777777777777777YYYYYYTTYYY666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666666YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYYYYYYUYY

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Back to Top ↑

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
leejinkioppa #1
Chapter 1: I don't know how to make you feel better because that really does . My parents are practcally the same and I honestly cannot wait to move out of here, and not only here but out of florida maybe a different country. Did you cry while writing this? It feels sort of relieving to be able and just explode in words. I do it too. I'll pray that you'll be able to adopt your cat as soon as possible. I don't really have much that keeps me going anymore but if I did, I wouldn't ever want to lose it. You don't have to reply o this. Whenever I make blogs like this, I just feel slightly irritated when someone comments in which I would have to reply but I feel thankful to those who care but just a little too tired to reply. Whenever you feel like there are too many emotions inside you like this come on here and just explode again and again until you've had enough and you can rest.
leejinkioppa #2
and I wanted to tell you I'm here for you Renae. Even if I can't be a physical shoulder to cry on I still want to be there for you.
leejinkioppa #3
Hi, I'm Saara, and my A/C is broke and I live in Florida so everything is really annoying and hot.
My depression started too, back when I was eleven. It had been building up through elementary. I know how it feels... to have people leave you, but back in elementary I just thought, "Oh yeah, it's my fault anyway... after all I'm weird and we didn't have much in common." I would take it out on my self. After switching schools right after getting out of 2nd grade I hadn't had a real friend until sixth or seventh grade.
And in seventh grade we (as in my family) lost our house. Or the bank took it, whatever. I refused to go to another school because I was scared of starting over. I was so shy, I would let people take advantage of me and I think I still do. Anyway my depression began around that time and I tryed to talk to my parents about it once which only made them laugh at me, "You think you have enough reason to be depressed?" They made me think I myself was even more of a fool.
I'm tired honestly there was a time I was ready to commit suicide. I didn't cut but at that moment I was so ready and ok with it, and if Samar (my most beloved person in the world who is my cousin) had not been in town that day, had not driven four hours away to come see me that weekend and had not stopped me, I probably wouldn't be here right now.
I know I don't have a panic disorder because I am no longer afraid of such things. But I want to go to the hospital or a clinic or whatever and see if I have something or anything because I am too tired and I just want a goddamn excuse.
I help my *friends* too much actually. Because after going through deep deep depression my life motto has changed. It's something like always keep everyone smiling even if you're dying inside. It's not like I matter anyway.
Anyway I wrote this long comment not because I wanted you to feel like some people have it worse than me lol no and I probably don't anyway. I wrote this because I sincerely care about you
Back to Top ↑