Hey. Do you want to watch that new movie with me? My treat.

I think you're great and we've been friends for a while. Do you want to kiss me? I want to kiss you.

Is it okay if I call you mine?

Junmyeon sighs and hangs his head because he feels so stupid. He feels stupid and embarrassed of himself. Why is he even thinking of doing this?

"I like you. Will you go out with me?" He says, taking a deep breath.

"Are you asking yourself out?"

Junmyeon has a heart attack and accidentally knocks off a couple of shampoo containers off the bathroom sink. He glares at Jongdae from the mirror, hoping that he will cower in fear. He doesn't.

"I was just—"

"Sure you were, flatmate," Jongdae snickers as he picks up the shampoos on the floor.

Jongdae places the shampoos by height and Junmyeon plants himself on the closed toilet bowl, burying his face in his hands.

"This is all very dumb, isn't it?" He mumbles into his palms.

"Not really," Jongdae sympathetically tells him. "It's just you." He chuckles at Junmyeon's glare. "How hard can it be to ask Baek out? You've known each other forever."

That's exactly what makes it so hard to ask Baekhyun out. Because they’ve known each other forever. They weren't exactly best friends. They were childhood friends, who had lost touch when Junmyeon moved out of Jeonju to study middle school and high school in Seoul. They reunited when it was time to enroll in university. Baekhyun's family moved to Seoul when it was clear that Baekhyun wouldn't take no for an answer.

Now they're taking the same classes for their medicine degrees because they have both always dreamed of being doctors together. And Junmyeon thinks nothing is worse because he's pretty sure he likes Baekhyun. Like really, really likes him.

"It's not that simple," Junmyeon insists.

"But it really is," Jongdae counters gently. He pats his shoulder. "Now stop practicing and actually get dressed. You're going to be late."

Jongdae exits the bathroom and Junmyeon stares at his reflection in the mirror.

What's the worst that can happen? Baekhyun can reject him and they stop being friends. Is that a price he's willing to risk? He groans because no. Being just friends with him is better than having nothing. All he'll have to do is nurse the ache and longing in his heart.

He groans. Why is this so hard?






 -





"Hey!" Baekhyun slides into the empty seat beside Junmyeon's and Junmyeon nearly has to remember how to breathe because Baekhyun is smiling so brightly. Every time Baekhyun does that, Junmyeon swears that it feels like his heart is going to burst out of his chest.

Jongdae kicks him on the shin so that Junmyeon remembers to actually breathe and smile and be a normal human being.

“Hey,” Junmyeon responds, smiling back. “You look happy.”

“You know that section in human anatomy I was having a hard time memorizing?” Baekhyun starts as he opens his books. “I finally found someone to help me with it.” He places his pen in between his lips, looking thoughtful and very cute, as he flips through the pages of one of his books.

“Oh?” Junmyeon croaks in apprehension as Jongdae looks up curiously. “Who?”

“Yixing,” Baekhyun tells them with a flourish. “He specifically told me that he’d show me the best way to memorize. He also told me he’d tell me the equivalent in Mandarin as well.” He beams. “Isn’t that great?”

“He’ll show you, huh?” Jongdae gives Junmyeon a meaningful look. When Junmyeon doesn’t say anything and just dumbly gapes at Baekhyun, he gives him another kick on the shin, a harder one.

“Uh, how well do you know Yixing?” Junmyeon grunts, glaring at Jongdae, who responds with an angelic smile before turning back to his homework.

“What do you mean?” Baekhyun asks, looking at him curious.

“I mean, tutoring is pretty intimate stuff. Won’t it be awkward if you guys don’t know each other well, especially since he’s going to teach you human anatomy of all things and—“

“Junmyeon, you’re babbling,” Baekhyun cuts him off in amusement. Junmyeon smiles sheepishly because his face feels so hot he thinks his head might explode from embarrassment. “And how is tutoring intimate? Don’t you hire random tutors all the time? I mean, you started tutoring that kid Jongin before and you don’t even know him well. At least Yixing’s in our class.”

Junmyeon opens his mouth to retort, but then closes it again because Baekhyun is right. You don’t actually need to know who your tutor is. The important thing is that they’re good at the subject that they’re going to teach. And that’s just the thing. Because he’s heard things about Zhang Yixing. And he’s pretty sure he’s good at teaching human anatomy. He pouts at this thought.

“Are you okay?” Baekhyun asks. He reaches out and places a hand at the back of Junmyeon’s neck, caressing gently.

“I’m fine,” Junmyeon insists, stiffening a bit at Baekhyun’s ministrations.

“You’re pouting,” Baekhyun reminds him.

“That’s kind of like his default face, though,” Jongdae pipes in, seeing as Junmyeon’s at a complete loss for words under Baekhyun’s hands. Literally.

Junmyeon clears his throat when Baekhyun’s laughter brings him back to reality. Thinking about how he enjoys Baekhyun’s hands on him is not a good idea, especially when he knows that Yixing’s going to have all of Baekhyun for himself soon.

“I’m okay,” Junmyeon promises. “I guess, uh, it’s good that Yixing’s going to be tutoring you then.”

Baekhyun takes back his hand and smiles a little, looking away. “I would’ve asked you, but you’ve been busy with Jongin so…” He shrugs. Junmyeon starts to say something to the effect of I always make time for you, but Baekhyun is already packing his things up. “Anyway, I have to go. I’ll see you guys around.”

“Okay,” Junmyeon meekly says.

“We’re still on for Saturday dinner, right?” Baekhyun asks Junmyeon.

Ever since he and Baekhyun saw each other again in university, they made it a point to have dinner every Saturday to catch up on all the years they’ve missed in each other’s lives. Junmyeon smiles and nods. At least he still has this with Baekhyun. Their continued friendship is still one of those blessings that Junmyeon is grateful for.

“You’re so dumb,” Jongdae tells him in a singsong voice once Baekhyun has left.

Junmyeon doesn’t even hear him. He just stares longingly at the direction Baekhyun’s gone.






 -





Junmyeon can't concentrate. He has been on page 526 of his textbook but he still hasn't gone past the second paragraph in the two hours he's been studying. Instead of things like the medulla oblongata, all he can think of is how Baekhyun's learning all about the human body from Zhang Yixing.

He shakes his head and goes back to his book. There's no point of thinking about something he has no control over. Best to just focus on schoolwork because that is something he can control and should control because if he keeps on thinking about Baekhyun like this, he's going to start failing his classes.

"Can you stop?"

Junmyeon looks up, startled. "What?"

"You're moping," Jongdae flatly states. "It's really annoying."

"I am not moping," Junmyeon indignantly declares. Because moping would mean that he cares about the fact that Baekhyun is probably doing so much more than learn about the human body.

"You are though," Minseok gently agrees with Jongdae. "Why don't you just call Baekhyun?"

Junmyeon frowns. He is not supposed to be this obvious. No one is supposed to know, except Jongdae because he's a pest, about his feelings for his long time friend.

"Um," he intelligently replies.

"I'm sure he'd like it that you check up on him," Minseok suggests with a smile. It's one of those smiles that no one can really say no to.

"I..." Junmyeon tries to say no but he trails away and stops himself. Instead, he takes his phone out and scrolls through his contacts until he finds Baekhyun's number. He presses dial and puts it on his ear.

"Hey!" Baekhyun answers swiftly, sounding breathless. "Junmyeon!"

"Baekhyun, I—what are you doing?" Junmyeon asks as Baekhyun keeps on panting and it shouldn't be suspicious and it shouldn't be turning him on.

"Oh it's Yixing," Baekhyun sounds giddy. "He's just teaching me these—"

"Okay I got it bye!" Junmyeon hangs up and stuffs his phone in his bag. He does not need to hear what Yixing's teaching him. Nope.

When he looks up, both Minseok and Jongdae are judging him. He smiles sheepishly and goes back to reading. He really does not want to delve into the fact that Baekhyun answered his phone in the middle of , and wow he really did not just think that. Squeezing his eyes shut, he breathes in and out and counts to ten.

"What if I just go over there to check on them? What if they need something?" Junmyeon blurts out. "I can definitely help."

"With what? Bringing Baekhyun to ?" Jongdae snorts.

Minseok shoves Jongdae's head down to the table and smiles kindly at Junmyeon. "Just go see him, Junmyeon," he encourages him. "I'm sure it'll be okay."

But Junmyeon is troubled by the thought of seeing Baekhyun in bed with Yixing. He's not sure he can take it. Because Baekhyun...Baekhyun is, well he may not be pure, but he'd like to think that Baekhyun is his. The thought that someone is with him is just—

He stands up, the scraping of the chair loud and grating. "I will go," he announces.

"Good for you, Junmyeon," and Minseok smiles at him like he's his child.

"Have fun!" Jongdae calls. "Don't come crying to us when you witness Yixing's d—"

Minseok buries Jongdae's face on the table once more.






 -





Junmyeon is standing outside Baekhyun's door and he doesn't know what to do. He didn't exactly think ahead for this part of the plan. He paces outside of the door and freezes when he hears laughter and the jiggling of the doorknob. He hurriedly walks away but Yixing catches him.

"Oh hey Junmyeon!" Yixing loudly greets him.

"Junmyeon!" Baekhyun moves to the door and beams at him.

Yixing and Baekhyun are both sweaty, both sporting that pinkish glow that he supposes is an effect of .

"H-how was tutoring?" Junmyeon stammers. He flinches when they exchange a look and chorus "great!" He nods. "Okay. Well bye."

"Did you want to talk to me about something?" Baekhyun stops him from leaving.

"I'll leave you guys to it," Yixing announces his leave before Junmyeon can respond. He winks at both of them and is on his way.

"Come in for a bit," Baekhyun pulls Junmyeon into his room and closes the door behind them.

The first things that Junmyeon notices are the mats on the floor. He swallows as the thought of them using those mats instead of the bed for flashes in his mind. He squeezes his eyes shut. It was a really bad idea to come here and think he can accomplish anything.

"Are you okay?" Baekhyun peers at him. "You're acting really—"

"Do you like Yixing?" Junmyeon's mouth blurts out before he can stop it. He claps both his hands on it, eyes wide.

"Well of course I like him," Baekhyun says. "He's very—"

"I like you," Junmyeon's mouth spews out. "I've liked you for a really long time. Really long time. And I’ve wanted to ask you out but I've never—and now you've...with Yixing and I just—“ He takes a deep breath. “I know you guys just had but I'm going to kiss you now."

Junmyeon takes a step forward and presses his lips against Baekhyun's. His heart swells and sweet-sounding music, like an orchestra fills his head, just the way he’s always seen it when he kisses Baekhyun in his dreams. It takes three seconds of this before his brain finally catches up to what he's doing.

"Oh my god," he whispers, pulling away and taking a step back. He keeps on taking a step back until he hits the door. "I'm sorry I—" He turns around and is out of the room in a heartbeat.






 -





Junmyeon is in the library, going through things like aerobic and anaerobic respiration, with Minseok and Jongdae quietly discussing a project across from him, when his two friends suddenly turn quiet. He looks up with a questioning look. Jongdae nods behind him. When Junmyeon follows his line of sight, he sees Baekhyun going through some books, lower lip in between his teeth. He gives a little squeak then hurriedly packs his things and runs out of the library.

When his friends catch up to him later in the day, they sit him down on their usual table in the cafeteria and glare at him.

“Are you, by any chance, ignoring Baekhyun?” Jongdae demands, gaze piercing and unyielding.

“No,” Junmyeon says immediately. He knows it’s a lie because he has been making sure that he and Baekhyun aren’t within 50 feet of each other but no one really needs to actually know that. “It’s just by chance that every time we see Baekhyun, I—“

“Run away like you’ve seen a ghost?” Minseok evenly finishes for him. Junmyeon flushes in his seat. When it’s Minseok talking and reprimanding him, he always really feels awful. “Look, Junmyeon, we don’t know what happened but we don’t think it’s fair that you—“

“I kissed him,” Junmyeon blurts out.

“Wait. Did you just say—“ Jongdae starts disbelievingly.

“I kissed him,” Junmyeon repeats. He plays with the hem of his shirt as he remembers what it felt like to have Baekhyun’s soft lips sliding with his own and how Baekhyun had fisted the sides of his shirt as if he—

“When did this happen?” Jongdae demands. “How did we not know about this? Why didn’t you tell us? And why the hell are you avoiding him if you’ve already kissed?”

“Because…because he and Yixing—I don’t want to complicate things,” Junmyeon mumbles, although he’s pretty sure that things are already complicated since he did kiss Baekhyun and all. “I just don’t want to mess things up for the both of them.”

“Oh my god!” Jongdae exclaims exasperatedly. “You’re a piece of ty work—“

“Did Baekhyun tell you that he and Yixing are together?” Minseok calmly asks Junmyeon, who shakes his head in response. “Then do you see them out on dates or are they even seen together outside of school?”

“I don’t know,” Junmyeon answers emphatically. “How am I supposed to know that? I don’t even go out as often as I would like.”

“Then it doesn’t make sense that you—“ Minseok tries to continue.

“It just means you’re dumb,” Jongdae interrupts. He pulls at his own hair. “I can’t believe I’m friends with people who are supposedly smart but actually really dumb. Like I can’t even fathom—“

“Shut up, Jongdae,” Minseok tells him good-naturedly. Junmyeon gawks when Jongdae actually shuts up. “You should just go talk to Baekhyun,” he suggests to Junmyeon.

Junmyeon shakes his head. “I can’t.” He bites his lip. “I won’t.”





 -





He’s all curled up at the couch, chips on hand and a blanket wrapped around him, ready to spend Saturday night just watching cheesy movies, when his doorbell rings. He deflates at the sound because he really doesn’t want to get up and definitely doesn’t want to entertain anyone. It’s supposed to be a night for himself only. But when the bell rings two more times, he sighs and gets up, padding to the door with his blanket still around him.

He takes a deep breath as he opens the door, prepared to berate Chanyeol, his next-door neighbor, who stops by daily to offer his food concoctions, when the words die in his throat. Because it’s not Chanyeol standing outside of his apartment. It’s Baekhyun.

Baekhyun chuckles when he sees him wrapped snuggly in a blanket. He glances inside and sees the TV . “I see you’ve started without me,” he says, eyebrows raised.

Junmyeon closes his eyes, berating himself for forgetting, as he lets Baekhyun in. Saturday dinners. Of course. How could he have thought he’d escape Baekhyun completely?

“I brought curry,” Baekhyun announces as he places the take-out boxes on the living room table. He looks at Junmyeon just as he opens his mouth to speak. “Don’t worry. I got the non-spicy ones because I know how you don’t like spicy food.” He opens the boxes and hands one to Junmyeon.

They sit on the couch, Baekhyun more comfortable than Junmyeon. When they get settled, Baekhyun looks at the screen then side-eyes Junmyeon. “Why are you watching this?” Baekhyun asks. “Is something wrong?”

“Why would you think there’s something wrong?” Junmyeon denies, taking in a mouthful of curry and rice.

“You only watch Titanic when there’s something bothering you and you kind of want to cry it out,” Baekhyun reminds him.

Junmyeon merely shakes his head. He eats more curry in silence before feeling full and putting his food back on the table. He kind of curls up into the couch after that, covered with the blanket up to his neck. Baekhyun finishes his food and joins Junmyeon under the blanket.

It’s quiet after that. Because Titanic always needs a kind of quiet reverence when you watch it and Baekhyun knows this. That, and because Junmyeon doesn’t want to start any conversation that he’s not quite sure how to finish. The whole thing with Baekhyun, having feelings for him and kissing him, he doesn’t know what to do with it. He doesn’t know what to do about his feelings, about the repercussions of what he’s done, of running away and avoiding him. He’s surprised that Baekhyun still hasn’t brought it up. But maybe that’s because it doesn’t matter to him as much as it does to Junmyeon. Because he’s with Yixing. Of course, Yixing. How can he forget?

He sighs and focuses his attention on the movie. Rose’s dilemma whether to jump into the icy water or to take Jack’s hand is kind of like Junmyeon facing rejection and happiness. He shivers just imagining how cold and stabbing the rejection is going to be.

“Hey, are you okay?” Baekhyun asks, putting an arm around him. “You’re tearing up.” He glances back at the screen. “And it’s not even the scene where you’re supposed to be crying.”

“I’m not crying,” Junmyeon sniffles, hastily wiping his eyes. “I’m okay.” He tries to shrug Baekhyun’s arm off him to no avail.

“C’mere,” Baekhyun insists, gently pushing Junmyeon’s head to rest on his shoulder. Junmyeon’s eyes flutter shut because these feels nice, like a nice parting gift. But his eyes open and widen when he feels Baekhyun pressing a kiss to his crown. “You’re so silly,” he whispers.

“Am not,” Junmyeon mutters, mostly to himself.

“Yes, you are,” Baekhyun retorts quietly, hand absently rubbing up and down Junmyeon’s arm. “You do things without even…” He chuckles to himself. “Who avoids their friend without explanation?”

Junmyeon stiffens and pulls away from Baekhyun. “I didn’t—I wasn’t—“ He blinks at his friend, who’s watching him amusedly.

“Junmyeon, stop lying,” Baekhyun softly tells him. “Don’t you think you’ve been doing it for too long already? Aren’t you tired?”

“What are you talking about?” Junmyeon asks, staring at him.

Baekhyun fiddles with one corner of the blanket. “I know I haven’t been very honest either but that was because I thought—anyway, you kissed me so…” He laughs breathlessly. “What was that about?”

Junmyeon swallows nervously. “Well, that was…” He smiles awkwardly. “You know, one of those things that friends do sometimes—“

“You told me you liked me,” Baekhyun prompts him.

“Do you remember everything?” Junmyeon makes a face at him.

“That’s kind of something you don’t want to forget,” Baekhyun says. “I mean, it’s something I wouldn’t want to forget.”

Junmyeon’s heart skips a beat. There are words you don’t say, never say, when you don’t mean something. Does this mean that…?

“What are you saying?” Junmyeon’s throat is dry and he’s nervous because maybe—maybe he doesn’t have to jump in the icy, cold water after all. Baekhyun laughs and he looks just as nervous as Junmyeon feels. “You didn’t say anything when I—right after—“

“You practically tore my door down, so desperate to get away. I couldn’t exactly say anything,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes at him.

“Oh,” Junmyeon says, looking down on the floor for a second before looking back up at Baekhyun. “Well what about now?”

Baekhyun takes a deep breath. “I may not have been very honest with you either,” he starts. “I mean, those things you said…I feel them, too. I mean, I like you, too,” he clarifies. “For a long time now, even before—“ He sighs. “Even before,” he finishes. “And I never thought that you’d—because you’ve never—but then you’d—“

Junmyeon kisses him. He cups both of Baekhyun’s cheeks and he kisses him as if to make up for all the time that they could have spent being together. Baekhyun presses up against him, gripping his shirt once more.

“Wait,” Junmyeon suddenly pulls away. Baekhyun blinks at the sudden loss. “What about Yixing? He’s your boyfriend and I can’t just—“

“You actually think he’s my boyfriend?” Baekhyun coughs. “I thought Jongdae and Minseok were kidding.”

“What!” Junmyeon demands. What is this sorcery!

“Yixing’s not my boyfriend,” Baekhyun explains patiently. “He’s really just tutoring me and kind of teaching me yoga in the process. He met this guy who’s apparently a yoga genius and he wouldn’t shut up about him and it so we just ended up doing yoga.”

Junmyeon opens his mouth and closes it again.

“I promise you, we were never together,” Baekhyun adds. When Junmyeon still doesn’t say anything, he frowns. “Are you that mad because I can totally understand—“

Junmyeon just kisses him again. He’s so glad that Zhang Yixing has never laid so much as a finger on his Baekhyun.

His Baekhyun.

“Mine,” Junmyeon whispers through his lips as they fall deeper into the kiss.





 -





“Oh lookie!” Jongdae announces with a wicked grin on his face. “Look who finally got together!” Minseok shoves him to be quiet but Jongdae doesn’t back down. “So how does it feel like to finally not be dumb, Junmyeon?”

“Shut up,” Junmyeon mumbles, cheeks pink.

“Yeah, shut up, Jongdae,” Baekhyun echoes, taking Junmyeon’s arm and wrapping it around him so he can snuggle to his boyfriend. “You’re just jealous,” he gleefully adds when Junmyeon tightens his arm around him.

“Jealous,” Jongdae scoffs. “Me! Jealous! Of all people!”

“Yes, you’re jealous because you don’t have someone as perfect as Baekhyun to call your own,” Junmyeon blurts out, turning very red afterwards. Baekhyun coos at him.

“Oh my god,” Jongdae groans. “This is not what I wanted to happen! You’re supposed to get together and not be cheesy and gross! Especially around people!”

“We are not gross,” Baekhyun pokes his tongue out at him before turning to Junmyeon and rubbing their noses together. “We’re just—“

But Junmyeon captures his lips in a kiss and Jongdae visibly shudders, while Minseok just looks amused.

“Kissing someone actually works in shutting someone up, huh,” Jongdae snickers. “How cliché. You two are the biggest clichés I’ve ever had the displeasure of know—“

He sputters to a stop, eyes widening when Minseok presses his lips against his.

“What—“ Jongdae stammers when Minseok pulls away with a knowing look in his eyes. It takes him two seconds before he decides that yes okay he’s going to kiss Minseok, too and practically lunges at him for a second kiss.

“Oh lookie!” Baekhyun announces with a smirk. “Look who finally got together! So how does it feel to finally not be dumb, Jongdae?”

“Shut up,” Jongdae mumbles, head bowed as he pulls away from Minseok.

Junmyeon laughs, tucking Baekhyun to his side. This is the life, he thinks. This is exactly how it’s supposed to be.

Baekhyun snuggles to him, pressing his lips to Junmyeon’s cheek. “Yours,” he whispers.

Mine.