Number One Fan

It’s been two years since I’ve been to this place, where I met her. I wonder if she still remembers me.

It’s not that I haven’t been to the US for two years since I also come here during breaks, which rarely comes after our first successful world tour and after being casted in a drama, pictorials and other live performances in some events. We only go here for work at a very limited time so when I finished my drama, our manager finally let us have a one-week vacation overseas.

Victoria unnie took this chance to go home to China. Sulli and Luna, on the other hand, went for a European Tour.

Me?

Originally I planned to visit my relatives in San Francisco, but after watching the show we had here, all feelings came rushing back to me as if everything that happened here two years ago was just yesterday. So I booked a flight to New York. I’ll stay here for three days and my remaining four days, I’ll spend in San Francisco.

It’s not that I forgot about her. I’d rather choose the statement: I stopped thinking about her than the former. I kept myself busy for the first month after going back to Korea so that I wouldn’t have the time to think about her. I was thankful that after that, our agency decided to launch our first world tour. I got worried at first, thinking that we might perform here again. But I think my manager, who knew that I still haven’t recovered 100% from what seemed to be my little ‘heartbreak,’ didn’t include this place in our tour.

Our world tour became a success. During our victory party, our manager announced that he’d be getting married. He then told us that he’s going to retire to have time for a family that he and his fiancé that time would build. I guess being the manager of one of the famous Korean girl group with four members became too much for him to handle.

If he didn’t retire, I’m sure that he wouldn’t let me go here.

As I opened my eyes to a new day here in New York, I excitedly hopped out of the bed to freshen up and have my breakfast. I only have a few days to talk to her. Honestly I don’t have any plans specifically on what we should talk about or what we should do. Heck, I’m not even sure what my feelings are for her right now. One thing’s for sure though, I have to apologize to her. We parted two years ago in a not-so-nice way.

Are we going to be okay now if I accepted that ring?

Still wearing a cap and sunglasses to somehow hide my identity, I walked around the streets of New York. I didn’t waste any time and was already on my way to the pizzeria, where I hope, she’s still working in. Thankfully, the said store is still here. As I entered the store, I took the seat, which is a bit far from the people. It’s not that it’s a secluded corner, but it’s a bit distant from a group of people in the middle of the hall and also a bit far from the entrance.

After ordering, I asked the waiter if he knows a girl named Amber. The blonde guy smiled at me said that Amber is the name of one of the owners of the pizzeria.

“O-One of the owners?” I was surprised at the revelation. She never told me that she owns this place. She just told me that she’s just a delivery girl and a helper here.

“Yeah. She’s one of our bosses here.”

“Oh! Then, is she around? I was kind of wondering if I could see her. It’s been a while since I last saw her. Can you tell her that a friend visited her?” I asked the waiter.

I then noticed the change in his cheerful face to a scrunched one, as he scratched his cheek. “Uhm… Sorry to inform you miss, but she’s not here as of the moment. She’s in a vacation with her family.”

Disappointed, I didn’t give up easily and asked him again, “Do you know when she’s coming back? Or where did she go?” I might sound desperate, but if I won’t see her here then there’s no reason for me to stay here for three days.

“That I don’t really know Miss.”

“Is that so.” I said, sighing in disappointment as I stared at the white plate in front of me.

“But if you really are a friend of Ms. Liu and has an important matter to discuss with her, then maybe you can talk to Ms. Martha. Wait here, I’ll just call her.” The blonde waiter then left and disappeared into the kitchen, which I think is also connected to the office.

I didn’t wait long until a woman with silvery, white hair, with thick glasses and donned with a simple floral dress, came out of the kitchen door. Despite the old age and slightly crooked back, she could still walk without assistance. She adjusted her glasses as she looked around before the waiter from before led her to me.

“I must assume you’re Amber’s friend, who’s Craig talked to me about?” She asked me as she stood beside me. “I’m Martha, one of the owners of this place.” She introduced herself, reaching her hand to me.

I stood up and shook hands with her as I in turn introduced myself, “Krystal…” I looked around before leaning in and whispered my whole name to her, “Krystal Jung.”

Her eyes widened and looked at me in disbelief. I then assisted her to sit on the chair opposite mine. Now that we’re both seated, I confirmed to her that I’m Krystal Jung of f(x). “I didn’t expect that you’ll recognize me as the Korean singer and member of f(x). I mean…” I hesitated to continue.

“Because I’m old?” She finished before cracking up on her seat. “How can I not recognize you if every time I get in the office and look at that kid’s side of the table, I’ll see your face with a huge name with a huge text, ‘f(x) Krystal’ on it?” The old lady said, stretching out her hands as if visualizing the huge poster in the office.

“Y-You mean I have a big poster in your office?” I asked, still a bit skeptic about the woman’s surprising fact.

“Not just a poster young lady. There’s also a calendar and lots of your pictures on her desk!” She exclaimed before standing up and dragging me towards the diner’s kitchen. As we got in, she told one of the bakers to deliver my order in the office.

As we got in, I was astonished when I saw what the lady was talking about. Amber’s table is definitely recognizable between the two tables inside. I got embarrassed as soon as I saw the large poster affixed on the wall. I could feel my face flushing in red as I heard Martha said, “She said she loves that photo so much that she had it printed in that size and posted it there.”

That stupid llama...

I was indeed embarrassed at what I saw in the office, but the moment I stepped into Amber’s room, after Martha dragged me again upstairs, which I really don’t know how and where she got all of her energy from, I was blown away. I could see posters of me and my group attached on the walls, our albums neatly stacked in a shelf along with some DVDs of our concerts and the recent drama that I did.

“Am I not dealing with a stalker here?” I asked myself.

As if the old lady heard me, she chuckled and stated, “She kept on denying that she’s a stalker, but she never denied that she likes you a lot. Ever since that day she came home crying, coming from the venue of your group’s show here, my husband and I thought that her feelings would pass. Every broken heart heals with time. But she’s no ordinary girl. She started collecting your albums, Korean magazines with your face on it, and other collectibles of your group. We thought she’d be like those crazy fans that would spend their time in front of the computer watching the same performances over and over again 24/7, but we’re wrong. She always looks so happy, so inspired to live every minute of the day. She said that one day, after she finish her studies, she’d go and visit your country and find you to give you something that she failed to do so.”

“Something?” Is she talking about that ring?

“Yeah. But she never told us what it was. She just gives us that beaming grin everytime we ask her.”

“I see…” I said while I continued walking further inside, looking into her room. “Oh, I just remembered. She never told me that she owns this place before.” I blurted out, curious if the girl lied to me two years before.

“Ahh… That’s because she only became a partner after my husband died, one year ago.”

“I-I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s fine. Anyway, do you want to stay here a bit longer and look around? I know you’re a bit curious, just don’t rip apart those posters. I know you’re a bit embarrassed about it.” She said, chuckling while walking her way out of the room.

Now that I’m standing inside of her room, I sat on her bed and touched the sheets that used to cover her body when she’s feeling cold, and the lucky pillow, which she hugs whenever she’s sad, lonely, happy, or just felt like doing so. I smiled at the thought, envisioning her lying on this very bed, gazing at me lovingly with those brown, little eyes of hers that disappears whenever she smiles and laughs, flashing that dino-looking mouth at me.

I lifted up my legs and gently lied down on the bed, feeling her presence, imagining that she’s also here lying next to me. That was when the night table on the side caught my attention. My eyes widened as I saw that little, blue box resting beside the picture of Amber’s family. I reached for it and opened it.

Tears escaped through my eyes as I saw that ring… that same ring that she gave me before, but I didn’t accept.

I didn’t get to see her and my vacation ended up just like that. But right now, I’m sure of my feelings. Before leaving for San Francisco, I gathered up my courage and asked Martha for Amber’s number. We talked for hours, and God, I missed her so much!

Flashback

“Are you sure you’re not a stalker or a sasaeng fan?” I .

“Y-Yah! I’m not like them okay? I’m a discreet and respectful fan.”

“Hm… But seeing all those posters, photos, and stuffs…”

“Did you rummage through my stuffs? And who let you in? That’s trespassing!”

I laughed at how it’s obvious that she’s panicking on the other line. “Martha let me in.” I managed to say after catching my breathe from lack of air because of laughing so hard.

“It’s not funny. It’s… embarrassing.” Her shy voice was so obvious. I think if she’s standing here right now in front of me, I’ll see her reddened face, as she was trying so hard to hide it.

We became quiet after that, but neither of us hung up.

“I… miss you.” I timidly stated.

“I miss you too.”

“You’re so unfair.”

“What? How did I become so unfair?”

“Because you always see me. It’s my face that you see whenever you open up your eyes in the morning and before you go to sleep. You were able to listen to my voice whenever you feel weary. Even if I’m not with you physically, these things made you feel like I’m just right beside you. What about me? I got nothing.”

“Well… you got my number now.”

“Hmm… And I’m going to steal one of your pictures here.” I chuckled as I held on to her picture.

“What? Oh, so you’re a thief now?”

“You’re the first who became a thief, stupid.”

“And how did I become a thief?”

Because you stole my heart.

Of course I didn’t tell her, but I felt myself blushing.

“H-Hey. Are you still there?”

“Hmm…” I hummed in response as I fiddled with the ring in my hands. “Oh yeah… I hope you won’t mind… but I’m taking something that I think belongs to me.” I said before ending our conversation.

“Soojung?” I sat up on my bed as I heard my sister calling out for me. “Dinner’s ready.”

“Got it! Be there in a sec.” I yelled.

Before closing the door, I took one more glance at the photo on my nightstand before taking a glance on my hand, smiling as I saw the ring properly fitting my ring finger.