Year 2001

I was running in the hallway nervous that I'll be late for our first class, not just so I'm there before the Prof comes but so I have time to copy my friend's homework, I watched tv late last night and forgot that we have an assignment. I was never a harworking student and my friends all knew that and they tolerated me, I know they love me so much. But luck has always been by my side, I never had a failing mark.

I hurriedly sat on my seat next to Sooyoung and I can see that she is busy copying something.

Is that our assignement for Introduction to Politics?

Yeah, go away! I need to copy the notes from Seohyun fast so stop talking to me.Yuri was also doing the same thing , crouching behind Sooyoung to get a glimpse of the notes.

Geesh, vultures! We can share you know!

No, we're already on the last page so just wait until we're finshed.

But our Prof will arrive soon! I cried with much passion, unfortunately our Prof is always on time. I scanned the the entire classroom and looked for a target, a target nice enough to let me copy her assignment.

Hmmm...Sunny? nope she's strict and she's a teacher's pet so no she won't let me copy and I really don't like her nagging at me...who else...hmmm, oh! Tiffany!

I walked to where Tiffany is seated, yes the good students are always seated in front of the classroom and the roudy, loud and good-for-nothing students are usually at the back - my turf.

Tiffany, have you finished the assignment to Introduction to Politics?

Yeah, why?

Can I copy yours? I'm not gonna copy verbatim, just the jist or the idea and I'll write it in my own way. I forgot it last night, i said with puppy eyes and cherry on top.

Tiffany just stared at me...still staring..

I was stomping my feet and jumping in hurry still with the puppy eyes look, pleading and waiting for her notebook. She slowly reached out from her bag and with her notebook in her hand.

Nope, she said short and as cold as possible

Wha-, but why? this is the first time I'm asking for a favor, please our Prof is a monster..

Well, you have a phone so you should have texted me and asked me if we have any assignments.

But like I told you I forgot! Please, please, please

Nope, I worked for this you know so you should too. Asked Jessica if you want?

But Jessica is coming in late, she's stucked in a traffic jam.

So? It's not my problem, she said coldly while she turned around to review her notes.

My mouth was shut in frustration, I mean how can she so mean.. even Seohyun allowed the two monkeys to copy from her. I couldn't do anything at that point, I went back to my seat where my turf is looking all dejected. A notebook was thrown at me and I looked at Soouyoung relieved.

We're done, you can copy now.

I was going to do a victory dance but then our Professor arrived and I only have about 5 minutes to copy just the first 2 out of the 5 pages of the assignement. I don't know if my Prof can understand my handwriting, hell I can't even understand it. But at least i was able to pass something, even if it's incomplete.

And as I listened or should I say pretend to listened to the lecture. I was staring at Tiffany's back, the one who rejected me, who didn't let me copy her notes, the reason why I was only able to pass 2 pages, the reason I actually pleaded just to be rejected in the end. I know it was my fault for forgetting but I was really nice when I was asking with the whole puppy eyes look.

Tiffany was the last addition in our group, we're a close knit group but like everyone else, some were closer than the other depending on what the topic is or what's the plan for the day is. Sunny, Jessica, Seohyun and Tiffany are the good girls, always passing the homework and projects on time, never really stayed back after school just to hang out. Sooyoung, Yuri, Hyoyeon, Yoona and I are the exact opposites, we always hang out after school, cut classes twice a month or so to go to the nearest pub, tease our teachers, bully our classmates and so on. It was a nice mix , all of us together in one big group.

After the class ended, I went out just to hang around at the park inside the school, I made a promise to myself to never ask Tiffany again for any favours. If I forgot to do some homework then I don't have to submit anything, I'll just face the consequence. I was a bully and this is the first time I actually pleaded for something - my first rejection. I made a promise to never ask for anything from her, I would never need Tiffany Hwang Miyoung for anything.


Year (end of) 2012

I was eating my favorite food in my favorite restaurant when a short blonde haired woman sat in front me all smiling and happy.

Hey, you're back!!! So how's your vacation? You looked  thinner and paler, what have you been doing back in Jeonju? Sunny said a bit excited.

Hey what's up! Nothing, it's kinda weird all I do is eat and sleep for 4 months and you say I'm thinner?! My mom never stopped stuffing my face with food and coffee.I don't have any news since I was in a far far away land doing nothing, I'm waiting for you to tell me what's happening with the rest.

Well, i don't know if you'll be surprised or shocked or whatever but Tiffany has been hanging around this girl. She said her "driver" as she calls her has been clinging onto her like a leech accompanying her everywhere, anywhere and anytime.

Yeah, she called me when I was back in Jeonju in the middle of the night, we talked for like 3 hours, asking me to come home sooner so she doesn't have to hang out with her "driver". She said if I was there then she wouldn't let her driver to accompany her and just hang with me instead.

So, so...what do you think about this new girl?

I don't know, do I have to have an opinion? You know I stopped giving her advices after her crazy adventure with the married guy, I though she learned, well I was hoping that she learned something from that. Besides I think she actually enjoys her company, I mean you wouldn't be with someone almost everyday doing whatever inside your apartment if she dislike the person, right?

Maybe, but I just don't get it.. I mean why a girl? If she wanted to be with a another girl, why not you?

I dismissed her last comment and distracted her from commenting any further with a wait hand signal in front of her face.  

I'm gonna tell you something, something I've never told anyone.. I paused and mentally cursed myself of why the hell I'm telling this to Sunny.

What is it? you're making me nervous.

Do you know that after we broke up, we haven't really stopped..you know..I stopped gauging if Sunny knew where I'm headed..

What? I don't know, so out with it..I'm dying with anticipation here.

Well,after we broke up, we didn't talk for like a year right, just to calm our nerves and the awkwardness. But after finally regaining our frienship back, we kinda...became F.W.B.

Friends without Borders?

I chuckled and almost laughed out loud with what Sunny said.

No! it's friends with benefits.

Sunny looked surprised but not as much as I expected her to be, maybe because were talking about us, Taeyeon and Tiffany..it's not really far fetched and impossible. She just silently digest all the information I said with a hum and a nod, a signal for me to gon on..

And then I stopped, coz suddenly I didn't like it anymore, I didn't like what's happening to us. I mean she's my friend now and doing those intimate things makes me confuse. I looked at her and I see a friend, my best friend whom I loved the most and longest and I can't.. I just can't continue, it felt like I was using her. And that was the time the news broke out about her liking the married guy, so I guess my decision to stop was timely and the best.

But why though? Why would you even be FWB? You've broken up. I never really thought about why we did things, so I answered her with logic, my kinda logic.

Well, we're both single at that time, neither of us are going to get pregnant, familiarity, comfortability and basically we're both alone. So we decided to get together whenever we find ourselves available and in need a stress reliever. So maybe that's what she's doing with her driver too.


A few days after the talk with Sunny at the restaurant. I was at home doing nothing when I heared my phone beeped.


1 message received:

From: Sunny

Hey, Tiffany told me that to tell you that she'll leave your luggage in my house.


From: Taeyeon

Why? I can just go to her apartment and get it myself, why the hassle of leaving it with you. So what will I do with her luggage? Should I leave it with you too? Is your house a baggage counter? haha! this is crazy!


From: Sunny

I don't know, I'm just a messenger and I'm just letting you know, I'll text you again once it's here so you can claim it. PS. your luggage is knida huge so pls hurry and get it once it's here.


From: Taeyeon
she can text me herself you know but Okay


3 Years after our separation and it all came out this way, waiting for one of our friends to be the messenger, or just wait for a meet up so I can have a decent conversation with her. It's not really that bad, she's busy with work and I'm busy too..yeah.. we're not awkward anymore, in fact our relationship is much stronger now, we can talk about anything now..her crushes, her dates and why it didn't work, talk about our friends, laugh until we cry bacause of my amazing jokes.

We have separate lives now and I get that but somehow, something doesn't seem quite right. I suddenly have a thought, if she wanted to be with a girl why not me? A pause and I snorted, do I actually want to be in a relationship with her again? I dismissed that question in my head and lit another cigarette to calm my head. I was crushing on her for the 4 whole years during our college days, been in a relationship with her for more or less 6 years, bestfriends until now.. would I risk it? Is there anthing left to lose? another puff and another questionleft unanswered.