It was around five in the morning when I woke up to the sound of heavy rain followed by some nice thunder rolling. My breath caught on a surge of yearning so abrupt and intense it felt like pain. I hugged the bolster pillow tightly, wondering where she was now; whether she was still alive or dead. When would I ever see her again? No one knew her whereabouts. All I could do was just pray that God would give her a miracle. At this time, she would usually still lay her head on my chest, snuggling to find the warmth under my chin.  

Park Jiyeon was my junior in the same university. She took the same major as my brother, Kim Jaejoong. She majored in Geographic Information Science, whilst I majored in Geology. We became close to each other because we often met during the projects given by our professors. We frequently went out together to spend our time. She told me that when she had trouble with the software she used for spatial analysis, she always went to my brother and asked him how to use it. My brother gladly taught her; he even introduced her to our parents. As time passed, I had a strange feeling towards her that I felt a wonderful sense of inner peace when she was around me and felt lonely when she wasn't.

"Jiyeon, how are you? I hope you're fine and God bless you. Wherever you are, I hope you think of me when it's raining there. My beloved wife, I'm always waiting for you," I muttered woefully, tears escaping and slipping down my cheeks. I quickly brushed them away and squeezed my eyes shut to try to stop the tears from falling.

"Don't be sad. I'm fine. I'm always thinking of you. I'm here with you, beside you, my dear Myungsoo," her soothing voice echoed in my ears. My eyes flew open. I jerked myself into a sitting position, and my eyes roamed around the room, searching for her figure.

It's just my hallucination. I'm alone here. I shook my head to clear my thoughts, to erase her voice before I swung my legs off the bed and planted my feet on the floor. With a heavy sigh, I stood and walked over to my desk to get her iPod. After sitting down on the chair, I put the ear buds in and pressed play. Immediately Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata filled my ears, pushing out the memories still lingering.

That Saturday late afternoon, we spent time together in the park. We sat next to each other on the bench, sharing ear buds to listen to Moonlight Sonata from her iPod.

"Is Moonlight Sonata your favorite song?" I asked, breaking the silence. 

"Yeah, it is. Whenever I listen to this piece, the melody gives me a calming and peaceful feeling, as if I were a bird flying high into the sky," Jiyeon replied, keeping her gaze fixed on the sky.

"Beethoven is awesome. I love Moonlight Sonata too. It starts soothing but plays through depressing and sad where emotion is given. It sounds beautiful. You can feel the pain in the song," I muttered, looking up into the sky. The clouds were gathering and thickening like huge fluffy marshmallows. The sky grew dark and gloomy. A cool breeze picked up and grew in intensity.

I darted my gaze over to her and patted her arm gently. "I think it's going to rain," I said. "What is your favorite weather, Jiyeon?"

She turned her gaze to me. "My favorite weather is the rainy weather without a shadow of doubt. I love the sound of rain falling. The sound is calming, and it gives me that cozy feeling. Listening to the rain is one of the things I do to expand my mind while creating no boundaries for my thoughts—" Jiyeon paused and took a long deep breath before continuing: "Also, the environment gets filled with a beautiful aroma. What about you, Myungsoo?"

"The rain, yes, the clouds, no. I don't like the clouds. They are so gloomy," I responded. "They make things seem dreary and unhappy."

Shaking her head, Jiyeon huffed out a small laugh and remarked: "To me, no matter how bad things get, clouds always remain beautiful to look at."

Her love for nature made me admire and adore her. "Well, we have different perspectives." I smiled. Jiyeon nodded, smiling slightly. I could smell the rain as it began to fall on the asphalt. In the blink of an eye, the light drizzle turned into heavy rain, drenching every inch of us. Water splashed high and away from each stomping foot as people ran to find shelter.

With a big smile on her face, she removed the ear bud and placed it on the bench before she rose to her feet. She extended out her arms with palms facing up and spun around in slow circles while facing upwards. Soaking wet, her dress clung to the curves of her body like a second skin.

I was amazed at how beautiful she looked standing in the rain. Was it possible for her to grow more beautiful by the moment? It certainly seemed that way to me.

"I love the rain! I love getting wet in the rain!" Jiyeon cried out with joy. After a few seconds, she stopped spinning and looked at me. "I have to go home now—my mom is waiting for me," she told me.

I got to my feet. "May I walk you home, then?" I asked as I handed her the iPod.

A sheepish smile crossed her face as she took it. "Sure," Jiyeon softly replied.

We walked side by side through the pouring rain, her hand brushing mine a few times. We stole glances at each other. I took a deep breath and dared myself to hold her hand. My heart skipped a beat as she proceeded to interlock her fingers with mine, clearly confirming that she liked it.

I exhaled deeply after recalling the memory. Then a faint grin made its way over my mouth as a bittersweet memory popped up into my head: a memory when we shared our first kiss under the rain.

At that time, I made my way to the kitchen to take some food when I accidentally heard the conversation between my brother and my father coming from the living room. I stood on the bottom step, pricking my ears to eavesdrop.

"Dad, I love Park Jiyeon," Jaejoong told our father. "I want to marry her."

"Son, her father is my best friend. We'd set you up with her, ever since you both were young. We'd made a promise to unite our families," our father said. "I was so shocked when you introduced her to me, at the same time I felt relief because you both already knew each other."

"Really, Dad?" His voice rose with his excitement. "Why didn't you tell me about that earlier?"

Our father laughed and replied: "I wanted to give you a surprise on your graduation day."

As a younger brother, I should have been happy to see my older brother delighted, but I felt so jealous, and my heart hurt. I couldn't think about anything else but her—someone who made my heart flutter. I sprinted to the door, and I could hear water dropping on the ground. It was raining outside. But, I didn't care because I wanted to express my feelings for her. I didn't want her to marry my brother. I took a deep breath before I opened the door and ran through the wet streets barefoot, the rain soaking my clothes. The rain poured heavily, followed by the fierce growling of thunders, but I kept bolting faster and faster. I didn't even know how long I had been running through it. My heart beat was increasing to the rhythm of my cold feet, which worked and struggled to transport me to my destination.

When I reached there, I just stood in front of her house as my whole body shuddered. I crossed my arms over my chest, hugging myself as I tried to keep out the cold. I kept my eyes fixated on the front door, hoping she would come out of the house. Minutes passed by, and I started to shiver uncontrollably. My train of thought was soon broken as I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist from behind me.  

"Kim Myungsoo, I finally found you. I went to your house, but your father told me that you went out of town," she muttered as she hugged me tightly that the heat of her body steamed against me through our wet clothes, which gave me strength. "Please take me away. I don't want to marry your brother. I just want to marry you. I started to like you when you walked me home in the pouring rain."

Tears of joy flowed down my face in utter exhilaration. I removed her hands from my waist and turned to face her. She was dressed in a white blouse and flower dress to her knees with heels. I could see her bra.

I cupped her face in my hands and looked directly into her eyes. "Jiyeon, do you really like me?" I questioned. She gave me a little nod, trembling. I pulled her into my arms and lifted her in the air, spinning her around, which caused us to laugh in happiness.

"Park Jiyeon, I love you more than anyone loves you. I love you in a way that no one loves you," I said, putting her down.

Jiyeon simpered as she leaned forward, putting her right hand on my chest, just above my heart. My eyes widened as she put her other hand on the middle of my back, pushing me towards her. Brushing her lips just against mine, I felt the fireworks explode as she explored my mouth with her tongue. The kiss was intense as we felt not only our bodies connect but also our souls intermingle and become one. I didn't know whether it was because this was our first kiss, or because she was an exceptional kisser that the kiss felt so surreal; all I knew that it was only us and the rain. Moments later, she broke the kiss, and I noticed her lips turning a pale shade of blue.

"Myungsoo, I feel so cold," she informed as she hugged me tightly.

I hugged her back tighter. "Jiyeon, I feel…" I trailed off as I saw my brother stand a few steps away from us, holding a white umbrella.

"My brother is here," I whispered. She sighed as she pulled herself out of my embrace and turned around to face him. He flashed a warm smile in our direction and walked over to us.

"Park Jiyeon, Kim Myungsoo, do you love each other?" Jaejoong inquired.

We stared at each other before we nodded and chorused: "Yeah, we love each other."

"And we are fond of each other," Jiyeon added, and I nodded.

He narrowed his eyes at me. His jealousy was palpable. Then he let out a big sigh and gave us a forced smile. "Jiyeon, you know when my dad told me that he and your dad had set us up, I felt so happy," Jaejoong said weakly. She just gave him a faint smile.

"I still remember the first time I saw you in the laboratory of geographic information system. At that time, you looked so frustrated. You scratched your head and sometimes your mouth moved as if you were grumbling something—"

"I had trouble with the software I used to analyze the network traffic of Busan city, and you suddenly approached me, then you asked what my problem was," Jiyeon cut him off. "Thank you so much for teaching me how to use that software, Jaejoong." She bowed her head.

He dropped his umbrella onto the pavement. Heavy rain dripped from his hair, nose and lips. Biting his lower lip, he took a step forward. Her eyes were now downcast, and he gently cupped her face to make her look at him. "Park Jiyeon, I fell in love with you. Hence, I taught you. Your cheerfulness, your intelligence and your kindness made me like you a lot—" Jaejoong paused. A note of pleading crept into his voice as he continued: "Can you give me a chance?"

She shook her head. "Jaejoong, I'm sorry. I can't because I already gave my heart to someone special. I am grateful to you for your love, for your help," Jiyeon replied, pushing his hands away. "I just consider you a good friend and a senior, no more than that."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what I..." Jaejoong didn't finish his words and walked away, grabbing his hair as he shouted in frustration.

"Jaejoong, I'm sorry because I love the person you love, and you want to be with. My brother, I'm really sorry," I muttered under my breath when he kicked the tire of his car before he got in and drove off at high speed.

When my brother's car disappeared from our sight, she grabbed my wrist and dragged me to the side courtyard of her house. She stopped in front of her bedroom window.

"Wait a minute here." Jiyeon kissed me on the cheek. I nodded, and she dashed towards the front door. As I waited for her, I rubbed my hands together and blew my hot air into my hands, trying to stay warm.

A few moments later, her bedroom window opened, revealing my beautiful woman in pink pajamas with black and white bears printed on it. "Myungsoo, come in," Jiyeon said in a hushed voice.

"Jiyeon—" I paused as she put her index finger over .

"Don't make a noise," Jiyeon mouthed. I smiled and climbed up to her bedroom window. She quickly dried my hair with a towel. Then she strolled to her closet and opened it. She took a black robe and walked back to me.

 "Just wear it, I know you're cold," Jiyeon told me, handing it to me.

"Where is the bathroom?" I inquired as I took it.

"Just change here. I'm afraid if you go out of my room, my parents may catch you," she replied in a low tone, looking down. "You know my dad was furious when I refused to marry your brother and told him that I just wanted to marry you. He forbids me to see you again."

"Jiyeon, nothing will ever be able to hinder our love, including our parents," I sternly hissed, expressing my anger. Why they didn't approve of our relationship?

She looked up at me, a sweet grin decorating her face. "Myungsoo, I believe you. I'm going to sleep now, so you can change clothes comfortably. I swear I won't peek," Jiyeon told me before she threw herself onto the bed and covered her whole body with the blanket.

Her last sentence made my lips curl up into a great big smile. I quickly took off my wet white T-shirt before pulling my wet brown knee-length shorts and underpants off. I put on her black robe, which was ever so slightly too small.

"Are you already asleep, Jiyeon?" I asked as I sat down on the bed.

"I can't sleep because I keep thinking of you," Jiyeon answered as she pulled the blanket off her head. She gave me a big cheesy smile.

"I know what's on your mind right now. Do you want to make love, huh?" I teased, my lips.

Jiyeon smirked. "Yeah, let's make love. Right. Now."

The seriousness of her tone caught me off guard. I gulped. "Are you sure?"

Jiyeon gave me an enthusiastic nod, her brown eyes sparkling with excitement. Unhesitatingly, I lay down beside her and gathered her into my arms.

"My love," I said. I kissed , gently at first, then with growing passion. I parted her lips with my tongue, and when her tongue met mine, I sighed with pleasure. She moaned as my mouth greedily roamed her face and down her neck. She pulled the tie off of my robe so that my front was exposed. She rolled over on top of me, straddled me and started kissing my jawline, neck passionately.

A loud clap of thunder boomed, reverberating in my ears, causing me to snap out of my reverie. It seemed like the thunder didn't want me to recall the most beautiful moment in my life.

Rain, rain, rain... Those words kept floating in my head unexpectedly. Yeah, Rain! I used to love the rain: to hear the drops bounce off the sidewalk, to listen to the steady beat of rain on the roof, like a drum. The rhythm of raindrops brought serenity and peace to my soul, but now I despised the rain, since it took her away from me.

I squeezed my eyes shut, but the memory of that incident intensified.

At that time, we accepted the offer from professors to help them create a cross-sectional profile, since it gave us the experience in applying theory to reality as well they paid us, and it was enough to fund our daily life. It was nine in the morning when we started the work. The two surveyors, as they circumnavigated the mountain's base, placed stout wooden poles on the rocky hillocks where they thought the survey stations should be. Little account was taken for the lines of sight or for which stations could be seen from what directions. This preliminary task done, the men began to work from a convenient hillock on the southwest side of the mountain. This point they called A, and here they set up the theodolite and sent me, Jiyeon and another worker with arms full of wooden rods up the hill.

At a signal, we stopped and placed the rods in the ground, and the surveyors measured the horizontal and vertical angles to the rods. All of a sudden, a strange and frightening wind blew hard and strong, the temperature went low and cold. A very strange cloud appeared in the sky. In a little while the sky grew blacker, the wind howled, and the rain came down in sheets like slick plastic tarps. We immediately ran to the shelter, carrying the rods. I tripped on a rock and almost fell down the cliff right above the ocean. However, she frantically managed to catch my hand and pulled me away, which caused her to lose her balance and fall off the cliff. I felt my body go numb, seeing her fall down. Helpless shook me to my core. My knees buckled under me as I hit the ground, tears stinging my eyes.

She was declared missing after search and rescue teams had scoured the ocean for one week. Why did that incident have to happen? If time could be rewound, I would certainly refuse the offer. We just got married a month ago without my father's approval in a register office with just two close friends as witnesses. My family showed hatred and disapproval. They threw me out of the house after they found out I had married her. Both our parents wanted her to marry my brother, but her parents finally approved of our relationship. Her parents gave us a small apartment as a wedding gift, and we lived here happily. I always prayed that a miracle would save her and bring her back to me. Since the incident happened, I never saw my brother again, and out of curiosity, I dared to ask my father where he was, but he never gave me an answer. Instead, he told me not to show my face to him again. The way my father treated me made me think that I wasn't his son.

I sprang to my feet with a cry of despair. "Jiyeon, where are you? Why did you save me? Why didn't you let me fall? I'd rather die than I should lose you!" I shouted as I threw the iPod against the wall.

I bolted out of our apartment as a sense of guilt struck me again. I felt ashamed of myself. She was my lovely wife whom I should protect, but instead she was the one who protected me. I ran down the street in the pouring rain. I had no destination in mind. Although my breath came in gasps, I kept running harder and harder, until I reached a meadow. Breathing heavily, I lay down on the wet grass and looked up at the dark, murky sky, letting the raindrops fall onto my face to mix with my tears.

"Jiyeon, you will always be here in my heart. I want to see you smiling. I want to hug you so tight. I want to kiss you on the lips. I want you to be by my side. I want your love, your sweetness and care. I love you, and I will love you until I die." I closed my eyes slowly, hoping the rain would deliver those words to the one I love.

"Myungsoo, I don't like to see you blaming yourself and the rain. I believe what has happened is my destiny. I'm always by your side," her soft, sweet voice echoed through my head. I opened my eyes slowly, wishing she was beside me. But… It was just another hallucination.

Why did I hallucinate hearing your voice again, Jiyeon? What does it mean? Are you okay? I closed my eyes in an attempt to stop the rain from hurting my eyes.

"Jiyeon, my parents have kicked me out; they don't want me anymore. I'm alone," I murmured. "My beloved wife, please come back to me. I only have you in this world."

I brought my right hand to my left chest and clutched it, trying to withstand my pain—the pain of missing my wife and the pain of being treated unfairly by my parents.

"Seeing you like this hurts me so much. Always remember that you are the most precious thing in my life. Don't ever feel that you are alone, for I'm always right there beside you wherever you are. I love you, my dear Myungsoo," her gentle voice echoed through my head, sounding so sad.

It's just another hallucination. Keeping my eyes closed, I rolled over onto my side and hugged my knees to my chest, hoping the rain would wash away my pain.