Word count : 3 3 6 6

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“You should go see Kris or something, he’s not alright. He’s been thinking too much lately.” Luhan nudged me by my arm as I ignored the boy beside me. “Shh, you’ll get us in trouble. I need to study.” I whispered as I tried to focus on the lesson. “Tch, liar.” He muttered softly before leaning away. Well, he was right..in a way. If only I didn’t like my best friend. Yes it’s one of those cliché stories you see of a girl liking her best friend and that boy has a girlfriend. But it’s not exactly enjoyable when it’s you, is it?

I used to watch these kind of storylines on movies, television, you name it. I would laugh my head off with Kris when we watch movies like these. And all he would say is “Be careful now, that might be you one day.” That bastard spoke too soon. Too soon. He has a girlfriend. In fact, she’s so amazing even I couldn’t hate her. How could I? She’s flawless. When I say flawless, it’s like there’s not even a single freckle or pimple on her face. She’s kind and well, she doesn’t hate on people. How am I supposed to compete with that? She loves Kris and Kris loves her as far as I know. If it wasn’t obvious enough I’d shoot my head with a gun. I’ve always liked Kris, you know? It’s been a year now since I’ve confessed to him. You might probably think, “What are you doing loving him up to this day?”

Well honestly I don’t know. Because he’s Kris? There’s no one like him. I told him that I liked him, and I confessed just to let it all out and move on. But that backfired on me like a . I ended up liking him more than expected. My heart is not a toy but for some reason when it comes to Kris,  everything.. Everything gets better.

The bell rang, snapping me away from my thoughts. “Look, you’re the only one Kris wants to see right now. I know that this was the exact same date since you confessed a year ago, Min Jae.” I gulped and packed up my things as quick as I can. From the corner of my eye I can see Luhan smirking. That deer like idiot. I blew my fringe away from my eyes before looking up at him, tugging my bag on my shoulder. “Just, not today.. I’ll go some other day. Not today, alright?” I brushed past Luhan to get out of the classroom only to bump into a taller person, causing me to fall on the ground.

I let out a slight hiss when I fell on the ground and I could hear the person who I bumped into chuckle. I looked up only to see Kris in front of me with an angelic smile on his face. My stupid heart, it’s beating faster than usual again. Especially today. “Need a hand up?” he questioned as he lingered a hand in front of me. I shook my head and got up by myself. “Boo, you’re no fun. Not even accepting my help?” he questioned as I tried my best to not break down. I know it seems stupid, but when you like a guy for so long and he’s too oblivious to notice your feelings up to now, it hurts. It hurts to the point of level where I actually think giving birth is less painful.

I’ve always been there for him when he had troubles with his girlfriend. Whenever he cried because of her, I would be there. When he was happy with her, he was gone like the wind. There was even a time where our friends, Luhan and Xiumin would try to get all of us to go for an outing. By us I mean Kris’s girlfriend, me, Luhan, Xiumin and the rest of the guys. I would always make up some dumb excuse like my aunt’s sick or my dog died or whatever I need to just get out of it. It would hurt, to see Kris with another girl. It would really hurt.

I shut my eyes tight for a moment as I stopped walking in the hallway. “J-Jae, are you alright?” I hear him question as he placed a hand on my forehead. “You’re not sick.” I can feel him pouting and I pushed his hand off with my eyes still shut tight. “What’s wrong?” he questioned with a worried tone. He’s never seen me like this before, maybe it’s time he finally saw it. “I just,” I scanned the whole hallway as I tried to avoid his eyes. He held me by my shoulders before leaning down to level his eyes with mine. “Just what?”

“I don’t want to see you today.” I breathed out as I backed away from him. His eyes widened and his mouth gaped open but he managed to ask softly, “Why?”

“Because today marks a year since I confessed to you. And it’s really hurtful for me. I’m still an idiot. A major idiot and I just want to get away from everything. Starting from tomorrow, I will finally let it all go.”

He furrowed his eyebrows before taking a step closer. “Why?” he questioned again as if that’s the only word he knows in his life. “What do you mean why?” I felt like my voice was so cold, it could actually freeze Kris. Like I mentioned just now, I was never like this in front of him. I took a step back and I looked around the hallway to only notice there was one girl coming this way from behind Kris. And I knew that’s where I had to be quick because I think that’s his girlfriend coming.

I looked back at him and gulped. It was now or never. If I don’t let it out, I’ll probably keep it in until I die alone. “Because it hurts.” I whispered as I placed a hand on my chest, above my heart. “Here, this thing beating inside of me. It beats so fast when I’m near you. I get blinded every time you’re near and I can’t think straight sometimes. And because of that, I always forget you even have a girlfriend. It hurts. Do you know that?”

“It hurts so much that I don’t want to keep liking you but every time I try to let go, you do something that makes me fall for you a little more.” A tear rolled down my cheek as I couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Kris!” I hear a girl’s voice calling from behind Kris. He didn’t even turn behind, he stared at me as he reached out to wipe away the tear but I pushed his hand away. “Go, and don’t even think about coming to my house today.” Was all I said before I turned around to run but my legs failed me. It wasn’t even a few steps and I fell to the ground. “Min Jae!” I hear Kris’s voice calling behind me as I knew he was going to come my way. “Listen to me!” he shouted again but he kept silent the moment I shouted back at him.

“If you take a few more steps, I’ll end our friendship!” I raised my voice as I heard no footsteps anymore.

“Life .” I breathed out as I was staring at my ceiling. “C’mon Min Jae. It’s obvious he likes you.” Luhan spoke up through the webcam. I sat up on my bed to look at Luhan at the webcam. “Don’t you dare say that. I will cyber slap you if that was possible.” I shrugged my shoulders as Luhan showed his tongue. “Look, Min Jae. I get you’re hurt but what about Kris? Shouldn’t this be as hard for Kris as it is for you?”

“No.” I shook my head as I got off the bed to sit in front of the laptop. “I’ve liked him for a year now Luhan. When I confessed, he could’ve accepted me but he didn’t. Instead he already had a girlfriend for a month which I didn’t know about. So how is he hurting like me?” I questioned as he pressed his lips together before letting out an audible gulp. “Exactly my point, deer boy.” He scrunched his nose before plopping his head on his arms crossed on the table. “This is so complicating. If only you knew.” He muttered softly as I widened my eyes.

“Know what?”

“That you’re a big dork.” He said monotonously as he lifted his head from his arms. I scoffed at him before showing my tongue. “I’m gonna sleep now, see you tomorrow Luhan.” I waved at the webcam as he was going to do his usual ‘Goodnight ritual’ before we ended the call but I ended the video call quick, not letting him do it tonight. As cute as it was, I just didn’t want to see it tonight.

As if right on cue when my laptop shut down, my phone vibrated. I smiled a little knowing it was Luhan. I took my phone and switched off the lights to head to bed. I lied down on my bed and put my phone in front of my face to read his text message. I squinted my eyes a little to adjust to the only light source in my room, my phone screen.

You didn’t even let me sing my ritual goodnight song :’(
From : Hannie. Sent 10.39p.m.

Too bad kiddo, that’s life :P
Sent 10.41p.m.

Hey, are you sleeping yet? :O
From : Hannie. Sent 10.41p.m.

Why? You pedo freak.
Sent 10.42p.m.

You’re so mean! :’( Why am I even friends with you!? Back to the chase, I have to stay awake up till 12.00a.m. so, mind keeping me company? Please? <3
From : Hannie. Sent 10.44p.m.

I let out a groan but at the same time I was more than willing to keep him company. He was one of my closest friends and well, I would do it. Text after text we kept keeping the conversation going, and not for a moment it would die off. That was one of the great things talking to Luhan. He was a great person to talk to regardless through text, webcam or even in real life. Though his huge eyes freak me out sometimes. They’re like two huge ping pong balls. Or fishballs.

It was already 12.03a.m. and I could tell Luhan fell asleep, since he stopped replying me but I was wrong. Right when I was about to put my phone aside to get some shut eye, another message came in.

You need to go to Kris’s now.
From : Hannie. Sent 12.04a.m.

Why the hell should I?
Sent 12.05a.m.

I won’t tell you why, but just know he needs you. Why look at the time, I think it’s time I head to bed now! Goodnight! Mwah! <3
From : Hannie. Sent 12.07a.m.

I tossed my phone aside and it fell to the ground. I knew it did because I heard a thud on the ground. I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. Half of me wanted to go to his house to see what happened to him, the other half just told me ‘You deserve more than this, besides.. You said you wouldn’t see him today.”

I furrowed my eyebrows as my inner voice was right. My eyes widened when I realized, it’s already tomorrow. As in.. well, I can see him now if I wanted to. I shook my head and told myself, “No. He cannot do this. Just when he needs you, you’ll be there for him? No Min Jae. No.”

I lied back down on my bed and shut my eyes tight. Every minute went by felt like it was killing me slowly. You know what? Screw this then. I’d rather go and see what’s wrong, lose my pride than let this eat me alive. I grabbed onto my jacket and dashed out of the house, since I lived alone. Don’t ask about my parents, they’re overseas. It took me a 15 minute jog to reach his house. I know his house at the back of my head, I’ve walked, cycled and took a taxi here countless of times before.

As I reached the front door, I knocked on the door and called Kris out but there was no answer. Maybe he was asleep? Just then I hear a glass breaking and I knew he wasn’t asleep, unless it’s a robber. I tried to open the door but it wouldn’t budge. I remembered that he puts a key under the doormat just in case I come over for a surprise visit. I lifted up the doormat and picked up the key. I unlocked the door only to be invited with the smell of alcohol along with Kris lying down on the ground with shattered glass around him.

“Kris! What the hell are you doing?!” I shouted as I slammed the door to rush to his side. I helped him sit up as I brushed the shattered glass away on the ground. “N-No!” He slurred through his words as he hugged onto a photo frame tight. “I don’t c-care if it-it’s broken! Don’t take it away!” He shouted as he hugged on tighter. “Kris, I’m not going to take it away.” I assured him as I helped him up. It was hard considering he was much taller than me, but it was bearable. I slung his arm over my shoulder as I dragged him to sit on the couch.

“Sit here you big baby.” I snapped at him before I got a broom to sweep the broken glass. I cleared the glass bottles of soju on his table and placed them in the kitchen. Kris too, lived alone. I let out a heavy sigh the moment I see Kris sobbing as he hugged the photo frame. My heart ached at the sight, but when I think back of how I used to be like that because of him, my pity for him went away just like that. “If Luhan wants me to come here just because of your drunk , I’m leaving.” I said loud enough for him to hear before I reached the door.

“No!” I hear him cry before I hear a thud on the ground. I pulled my hand back from the doorknob as I knew that was Kris who fell down to the ground. I walked back into the living room only to be right. He was lying down on the floor still hugging onto the photo frame. “Kris, get up.”

“Promise you’ll stay?”

“And why the hell should I do that?” I questioned as I crossed my arms in front of my chest.

“Because you’re that girl.” He gulped as a tear rolled down his cheek. I sighed before I came towards his side to help him up the sofa. He sat opposite me on the sofa with his legs up, crossed with that stupid photo frame in his hands. “What’s that you’re holding?” I tried to reach for the photo frame but he wouldn’t let me get it. “Y-You can’t take it!” He raised his voice as I shook my head. “Kris, for the last time, I’m not going to take it away from you. I just want to see what it is.”

“C-Can I tell you about her, and y-you gu-guess?” He questioned with his glossy eyes as I knew he was going to cry soon. It was always like this when he’s drunk. Either he’s gotten into a huge argument with his girlfriend or they broke up. It could be either one. I’m going with the breaking up part. Whenever he’s drunk, he would usually spout out nonsense that happens to be the truth. That’s Kris Wu Yi Fan.

“She’s nice, and beautiful.” He slurred through his words before he tried to pull himself together. “Kris, how about you go take a shower first? You smell like soju and it’s not that good of a smell.”

“Follow me?” He asked as I widened my eyes. “F-Follow you?! You’re a guy and I’m a gi-“

“U-Up to my room..” He muttered softly as I mentally slapped myself for thinking otherwise. “Fine.”

When he was done, he was much sober. At first he was shocked to see me in front of him after he rubbed his eyes when he came out of the shower but then he persuaded me to stay. As much as I wanted to leave, I wanted to know what he was talking about. He pulled me down to sit in front of him on his bed. His back leaning against the bed rest as he held up the photo frame in front of my face. I couldn’t see it of course. The photo frame was facing him.

“This photo has been here for a quite a while now. Shall I describe you to her?” he questioned as I nodded my head. “She’s amazing. Just, amazing.” He paused for a moment to think and I knew he was thinking because he looked around before continuing to speak. “Her eyes are like two orbs of sun. That could give you warmth and chills at the same time when you look at her.” He chuckled softly before he stared at the photo. “Her nose, it’s sharp but at the same time it’s just cute on her face. She has such an adorable nose, no one else could ever say otherwise.”

“And her cheekbones, just look at them-“

“I would if I could.” I blurted out as he smiled softly. “Oh, sorry.” I apologized as he shook his head.

“Then it’s her smile. That one thing that completes the whole look that never fails to melt my heart. That curve line on her face that sets everything in my heart straight.” He put down the photo frame as he looked up into my eyes. “Look, telling all of this to me about your girlfriend isn’t really going to make me feel happy the next day.”

“Who said anything about my girlfriend? I don’t even have one anymore. She was out of the picture a long time ago.” He smiled as I widened my eyes. He flipped over the photo frame and there was no photo in the photo frame. It was just a black paper in the frame. I furrowed my eyebrows before looking back up at him only to find out that he was already pressing his lips on mine. As much as I didn’t want to, I joined in the kiss. How can I not? He seemed to have let go of the photo frame as his hands were cupping my cheeks.

I decided to take over control when I leaned in closer and his hands moved from my cheeks to my sides to balance me hovering on top of him the moment his back came in contact with the bed. I broke away from the kiss, panting along with him as I rested my forehead on his. This was what I’ve been wanting for a long time. I really do want it to happen again but I wanted to know what does it all mean.

“What’s all this about?” I managed to breathe out as he pulled me in tight for a hug. “Because you’re that girl.” His grip around my waist tightened as I gulped. I inhaled his scent and he smelled divine. I didn’t want this to end but I can’t possibly enjoy all of this without knowing what he actually meant right?

I calmed myself down and my breathings were steady as I pulled away from the hug to sit on the bed opposite him. “W-what do you mean?” I question as I my lips. He chuckled softly before sitting up to reach for the photo frame behind me on the bed. His voice and his laugh echoed into my ears as if it was the only thing I could hear. He held up the photo frame facing me. I gulped as he removed the black paper, revealing a photo of me.

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