Dear Jinki

No contact from Onew recently. Apparently SHINee is promoting in Japan at the moment. Not a big deal in my point of view, however my brother is getting pretty depressed. Is it possible that he's in love?

My parents are forcing me to attend some event in two weeks. I really don't want to go but they're adamant. We had to go shopping for clothes too. My mom picked out a black trench coat for me. I know you can't stand shopping so I won't bore you with the details. I'm more excited aboout holidays! It's so close that I feel like I can reach it, I wish time would past faster...

There isn't much to report in this letter, what was I talking about last time? Oh, yeah! It was about how I confessed to you.

Since we had been together for so long, at the time hadn't realized that I love you.When Sooyeon suddenly announced it to me everything fit together perfectly. "Who is Hyerin in love with?" I turned around to see you standing there nonchalantly. Before Sooyeon could make any attempts to reply I covered . "It's a secret". You sat down beside me nonchalantly, I expected to see you with a teasing expression on your face but instead you looked serious, "Well can you at least give me some hints of who he is?" At the time I was panicking, I couldn't risk letting you know... so I replied with everything you're not. "He has really short hair, almost bald in fact... he's also quite overweight and he hardly ever smiles. He's a moody person, you know. He doesn't like jokes and stuff, a serious guy. Also, his parents always pick him up from school." You stared at me enquiringly and without thinking I added, "He hates biking you see, he only likes cars." After it came out of my mouth I immediately regreted it. You had to have known I thought to myself, yet you only nodded slowly, "Sounds like an interesting guy". "Indeed". I wonder what was going through your mind then, did you already know what I was hiding from you?

After school we were sitting on the floor of my bedroom playing video games. Although it wasn't rare sight, ever since discovering my feeling for you I felt anxious. "Hyerin, this is your all time low," you exclaimed excitedly as you pointed at the points. I turned away stubbornly, "Video games are stupid, we're not kids anymore..." I had said it on a whim hoping to give you some sort of hint about my feelings. You nudged me provkingly with your elbow, "Don't be a sore loser. Come on, I'll teach you how to play properly." Before I could complain you arms were around me as you guided me patiently through the game. I thought to myself, "If it's alright Jinki, can I think of this as an embrace?" You warmth enveloped me and I felt secure. But it wasn't just that I was also nervous and my heart pounded restlessly. A the same time though I couldn't stop smiling as we went through each level effortlessly. "You're really good at the game," you said as your breath tickled my ear.

It was too much and I quickly turned off the game. "There's something I need to tell you Jinki," I admitted hesitantly as I pulled away from your hold. "You don't have to tell me, I already know... Sooyeon told me.". My stomach twisted and it felt like my heart was in my throat.

Time stopped. Your head was downcast, unreadable. I held my breath.

"The guy you like... it's him isn't it?" From you uniform pocket you pulled out... a trading card.

I was exasperated, even after all the countless clues you still didn't get it? "Hyerin, we've been friends for a long time so I won't judge you but"-

"You're an idiot. Get out of my house." I picked up your bag and began shoving you out my room, down the stairs to the exit. "What are you angry about now?" you complained as I slammed the door in your face. Before you could walk through the gate though, I ran to the window and shouted, "Meet me at the water fountain in the city centre tomorrow at 12". Even though we had been friends for so long we rarely went out together right? Sure there was those times before and after school but other than that  we would just go to each other's house since we lived so close. When we did go out it was just to run errands or as a group with other friends. "Who else is coming?" you called back. "It's a date," I muttered before slamming shut the window and running away in embarrassment. I didn't think you had heard at the time, but the next morning my mom told me that she had found you outside our house blushing. To this day I wish I could have seen it.

Is your face red now? You didn't know I knew your secret right?

Always loving you,

Jang Hyerin