Dear Jinki

I went to SHINee's concert last night. It was pretty fun! I didn't know that idol groups could sing and dance so well! The audience was waving green light sticks while the five guys in the group performed and it was really exciting. Onew waved at us during one part of the concert. My brother was hyperventilating and screaming more than the other fangirls. My favourite song was Replay - it's so cute, although it makes me feel old (even though I suppose I'm the same age as them). My brother really liked Lucifer, he was doing the choreography along with them and singing along in a really loud voice. A few of the people around us gawked at him.

Afterwards we were invited backstage by Onew, but my brother had practically fallen asleep in my arms (probably from all the crazy dancing and shouting singing) so I had to drag him home. He was really angry this morning that I hadn't woken him up. He really wanted to meet Jonghyun. 

This is completely embarrassing but I forgot to write your reply to my confession in my last letter. You already know what happened though so I don't really see the point but since I've been telling my counselor about my letter to you, she said I should write down everything that I recall from my memories. I have no idea why, but she promised that if I do it then she'll get our appointments over and down with fast.

So here it goes...

After I made my confession I was frightened, I was dreading your reply. You didn't reject me though, however you didn't seem particularly happy or susprised, instead you looked worried. You bent down so we were the same level and replied in the most gentle voice imaginable, "You already know how I feel don't you?"  Other people may think that what you said was a straight rejection - but I knew immediately what you meant. I had known the way you felt about me the whole time and you knew I did. I would have been an imbecile not to have seen it. I wasn't scared of being turned down, because I knew... "I love you too," you whispered softly as you pulled me into your arms. What I was afraid of was what would happen after we started dating - would you no longer be my 'best friend'? Would our previous relationship vanish into thin air? What if we broke up?

Before I knew it your shirt was soaking up my tears and you were patting my head, quietly consoling me. "If we started dating, what would happen to... this?" I finally choked out. You looked into my eyes, and the certainty in them held my gaze. "I can't guarantee that there won't be any ups and downs, but what I know is that I will always be by your side and I will do my best to make you happy... because your smile - I cherish it. To me you will always be my best friend, and you will always be the girl I love." "Jinki...." You let go of me and and began walking off, "Your dad is on your porch glaring at me, so I better go". I looked back  to see a menacing aura surrounding my dad as he hid behind a potted plant. "Wait!" I called, unwilling to end it just like that. You turned around but kept walking backwards, "You better go get some rest, I don't want to be late for our last days of school because you slept in!" And then I knew it was all going to be alright. With a salute and a chuckle you turned around. I stayed rooted on my spot desperate not to lose sight of you. You opened your gate and called to me,"Hurry and go in, or do you want me to kiss you good bye?" You were joking but there was an undertone in your voice. When I didn't reply you looked back at me and our eyes locked. Feelings that were surpressed for years seemed thick in the air. Despite being just a bit breatheless I attempted to answer you,"Well"- "That's quite enough," my dad grumbled as he appeared behind me and dragged me into the house.

Of course despite his disaproval of me having a boyfriend, he and I both knew that you were the only guy he trusted me to be with.

"Invite him over for dinner sometime," he hinted as I went to bed.

Since then my dad has really warmed up to you. Mainly because you're the only person that he can talking about "the games" with. As you know my little brother has no interest whatsoever in sports. My dad usually asks me how you are every now and then... but lately he hasn't... I don't want this to sound like he doesn't like you anymore but it's making me a bit baffled. Have you been contacting him?

Love you forever and always,

Jang Hyerin