“DONT SAY YES, RUN AWAY...... NOWWWWWWWWWW”

 

Crap, what am i doing????? Why am i like this?? Yeah this is me, the man who always do before think, .....

 I look around, every pairs of eyes staring at me disbelief and mostly like what-this-ty-boy-going-to-do. I am trying to smile, awkwardly i sat again. My feet is trembling and my eyes feels wet, am i crying???

The priest clears his throat and say “can we  continue this wedding???” he look at the woman in the front seat, while she is busy glaring at me

“of course, just continue, ignore that useless boy” she keep glaring at me, until i feel her eyes is all over my face

“why do you come?? I dont remember if i give you an invitation??? You should go” she pointed her fingers to the door, give me direction to go out.

“mom, im the one who invite him here” girl beside her suddenly stand up and smile to me, i smile back

“jihye, why did you invite him??? He is not deserve to be invited” she said and look at the girl

“oh mom, at least give him the last chance to meet and seeing oppa” the girl said, the woman who happen to be the girl mother give me last glare and then sit back, i muttered ‘thank you’ to the girl, she nods, smiling.

I glances up to the groom in the altar, he look at me with his sorrow eyes.... oh my god he is look so handsome and so stunning like always, why am i so stupid like this? Why i let him go? Why im lying to myself and say i dont love him anymore? Why i must choose that stupid girl who happen to be my girlfriend now than him? Why am i not be the bride for him? Why im regretting all of this just now? Why not 5 days ago?? Why not when i hurt him 5 days ago? Why not when we talk and sit in my house 5 days ago? Why?

I dont know what to do again, my legs shaking, my lips tremble, i think my tears just slip away.....

“hyung, are you alright???” the man beside me pats my shoulder and smile, i smile back to him

“im okay”

“you look not good, here you are crying” the man in my left side say and wipe my tears

“hyung, dont pressure yourself”

“i can drove you home now” the man said and take my hands

“thats okay changmin, at least let me see him for the last time” i said and his hands

“are you sure???” Im not sure, but thats not good for letting someone worried like this, i smile to him

“yes, changmin, im alright” i lean to his shoulder, trying my best for not crying

“hyung, did you really think yunho would doing this without reason? He is really weird” the man in my right side said

“i didnt think so yoochun ah, i already hurt him, so this is the best thing he is doing. Im deserve this” i smile weakly

“hyung” changmin turn and my hair, i close my eyes and the flashback starts.....

===== 5 days ago =====

 

“joongie, what did you say??” he blinking and look at me deeply

“i say lets break up” i said proudly, fidgeting my finger together on the table. Frowning, he sliding the chair and kneel up under me, he take my hands and kiss it, and look at me again

“are you really ser...”

“im serious” i cut his words and stand up

“i think, this relationship is so wrong. We both male, even we cant married. Im tired living like this. I want to be normal again yunho, sorry but im not gay anymore, even for you” im staring the wall and holding my tears

‘please dont cry’

He stand up and turn me to face him, he kiss my lips and say

“i really love you jae, i always love you, why you did this to me??? Am i not good enough for you? I know you are tired, but just wait, we will married joongie, we can, we can move to japan or netherland, that country could accept couple like us” yunho said, his lips tremble and i can see tears filling up his eyes..... those amazing eyes is almost bursting tears.....

“how long i should waiting?? No yunho i cant, im tired okay. I heard your mother already arranged your marriage soon, with girl. You should happy right?? She really doesnt like me either, just go yunho, go away” i said, releasing his hands from my face

“i will rejecting this marriage, we... we can run away, thats right, i dont care anymore, i just want you, lets run away with me joongie.... im not love her, i just love you joongie” he hugging me frm behind, i still trying to hold my tears, i grab his hands and freeing myself from his hug

“yunho, stop it, i.... i am not loving you anymore yunho” i said, keep staring blankly at the wall

“you liar”

“im not, i really serious. Thats the truth yunho” i said and glare at him, he shaking his head to the left and right

“no... no... you liar, you still love me.... those eyes cant lying to me. Please joongie..... said this is just a joke. I really cant handle it” he said and finally crying, the man who always strong and brave, crying in front of me, with many tears come out from those eyes...

I really dont know what should i do. The truth is im really tired for keeping this relationship.he is right, im still loving him, but i cant keep this relationship longer. I want bright future for both of us.....

Many days with him, thats feel like heaven, the way he treat me like princess, always obey my command, loving me with his unlimited love for me, saying love words everyday, in the night, morning, the whole day, i always feel happy. I feel so blessed for having a boyfriend like him. And this day i realized, im already too high and deep to the dreamland, too close to heaven, this is not right, this is wrong, i cant continue this again. If both of us continue, that will ended up both of us getting hurt.

With all of my power, i take a deep breathe and say to him

“i already have a girlfriend yunho, she is pretty and nice, i realized that im not gay anymore when i see her” lie again, i try to keep my head up, look at him with my sorrow eyes, my eyes feel so ing hurt for holding this tears too long...

“you what??” yunho getting shock, his hands trembling

“i already have girlfriend yunho, sorry” i said and trying to smile

“YOU LIAR” he shouted at me, closing the distance between us, and he kiss me hungrily, forcing his tongue inside my mouth, i am not moving with him, i keep quiet, i dont know what to do again..... his kiss like heaven, am i too much?? How can i always melt with his kiss??

“WHY DONT YOU RESPONSE MY KISS?? DID YOU REALLY NOT LOVE ME ANYMORE??? JAEJOONGIE ANSWER ME” he shaking my shoulder, i bite my lips and look away

“i already told you...” he release me and dusting his own tears

“i wont believe you, i would go home” he walk away from me with hurry steps

“yunho” i call him, and he is stop walking

“dont ever get back to here. We are over” i said, wiping my tears, my head doesnt turn to him, im backing him, trying to not stuttering

“i will waiting until you calm and i will go back to here. I love you jae.....” he said and start to walk again. When i hear the front door slammed, i fall to the floor and crying....

“im sorry yunho” i hug my knees and crying hard....

‘is this the right thing i am doing???’

===== 4 days ago =====

“jae, what are you thinking about??” the woman in front of me ask

“oh, im not thinking anything noona” i smile to her

“why calling me noona again?? Im your girlfriend now jae, dont forget” she said and pout, i giggle at her

“im sorry dear, is that okay now??” i said and smile. We are dating now, not exactly normal dating because i keep thinking about yunho.....

“lets go to cinema now” she said and hold my hands, we walk to the counter to pay the food, i just stood there waiting....

“jae, why dont you paid??” she nudged me and look at me. ..  if im with yunho, he is the one who will pay anything, i really used to be with him.. yunho.....

At the cinema, i cant focus to the movie, when i am about leaning my head, my head crashed with other heads

“awwww” both of us screaming pain, and i realized that i crashing my head with her

“sorry” i said to her, she rubbing her head and say

“what are you going to do?? Im just wanna lean my head to your shoulder” she said

“im sorry, im just want...” i stop my words, i want to leans my head too, but i realized she is too short and thin for me, i used to someone taller than me, and having broad shoulder that keep my head comfortable if i leans my head to that shoulder during the movie. Jaejoong you idiot, you are the man in this relationship, so you should lend your shoulder to your girlfriend, not leans on her shoulder.....

“noona, can we get back to home, im tired” i said and squeeze her hands

“okay, me too. But hey you calling me noona again” she pouted and i just smile

‘yunho, why the image of you keep appear on my date???’

===== 3 days ago =====

“MWO??????” i choked to the air and gasp, the sudden call from changmin and the news from him  almost kill me. I ran to the kitchen and drinking water....

“hyung, you alright???” changmin asked me, his voice sounds worried

“you really serious??? Why that can happen?? I mean.. i am...” i confused, trying to absorb all of changmin’s words

“3 days again hyung, i hear that his umma forcing him to do so, or else.. his mother would commit suicide. So he didnt have choice, he is agree.....” i hear changmin take a deep sigh in the other line. Oh my god my head felt dizzy, i fall to the floor and crying

, yunho is going to marry in 3 days later and 2 days ago i already did THE MOST stupid thing for breaking our relationship, now im feel regret, really regret... i realized that im still loving him, if im not, why my heart feeling pain like this??? oh my god what should i do????

===== 2 days ago =====

“YOU WHAT???????” junsu jaws dropped open and yoochun keep shaking his head

“hyung why are you doing thing like that???” changmin sigh, he look so dissapointed, i know, i already did the wrong thing, but hey i just want something best for both of us, i think that is the right thing to do.....

“i certainly sure you know if yunho hyung really love you” junsu said, he looking at the wall

“and this idiot let his love go away like that.. oh cmon hyung, can you being more stupid than this???” yoochun snorted, palming my face i starting to crying again

“you and yunho, gosh what should i say?? Both of you are perfect together okay, why are you like that?? Saying you aren’t gay anymore and already have girlfriend?? You are so ing stupid... you even already gay since you are fetus hyung” yoochun groan in frustation

“and now do you feel regret??” changmin ask to me, eyes fixed on me, i sat and wipe my tears, nodding my head

“i am....”

“now go call him and say that you love him” changmin sat beside me and squeeze my hands

“i dont know, is that even right.... i mean... isnt this the best thing for us??” i sobs, leaning my head to changmin’s shoulder

“so you are not loving him any more??”

“im still loving him, so ing love him, but... but.. how?? How can i call him after all of the thing i do to him??” i cry.. again...

“he is always protect you from whatever who would attack you”

“he always buy everything you want”

“that stupid ing expensive LV bag he buy everymonth for you”

“your expensive cars, gift for your birthday”

“every single piece of your clothes from famous designers”

“those hello kitty accesories which really rare in this world and he buy that for you, just. For. You”

“or your cartier ring couple”

“oh dont forget he pay for a half your cafe...”

“is he your sugar daddy??”

“remember all of  your expensive shoes and your new apartment??? Dont forget all of your expensive boots”

“he always listening all of your stupid whine and complaints about useless thing”

“if im being him, i cant stand you anymore” yoochun frown and sigh

“hey, dont talk about that thing, you all ing ” i glare at them

“thats the truth hyung” junsu pout

“you really pathetic” yoochun pat my shoulder

I groan in frustation, these brat just make the situation worst, but when i listen all of this, i more realized that yunho love for me is pure, he really really really really really love me.....

 

===== 1 days ago =====

When i wake up and about to make breakfast, i heard the door bell ringing. Who is crazy enough to come so early at other’s house??? I look at the mirror, gah my eyes... that so puffy and.. oh my god i look so ugly. Almost a whole night i cry and cry again, thinking about yunho’s marriage for just one days again.... i already break up with that noona, i wonder why i agree to being her boyfriend and dumped yunho??

“kim jaejoong-ssi ” the postman come and give me a little bag, i take it and nods

“what is this??”

“invitation” the man said, and give me a book

“sign here sir” i take the book and signed it

“whoaaa, can i sell this on the internet, you are really famous” he smile to me, and i laugh

“if my sign can be sell, i would be rich for a long time” he laugh with me, after said goodbye he go. I close the door and sat on the sofa

“who is this??” i open hurriedly and a sheet of paper fall down

Oppa, are you alright?? I feel sorry for you. But my oppa isnt have choice, please forgive him ;<

I send this invitation for you, not mean to hurt your feeling, if you wont come thats okay, i understand, thats up to you. Oppa i know you really love him too, i really sad if all of this come true... jaejoong oppa, yunho oppa until now still loving you, he keep himself inside his room and keep staring at your photo, i really sad seeing him like that... please be strong okay..

With love,

 

Jung jihye

Oh my god, i know it, jihye always love me and support us. I cry silently and hug the letter. Okay, i wont give up easily. I would come and begging yunho for comeback to me.... wait, does that sounds so creepy??? Ah no.. yes.. of course not.. im just taking what is mine.. yeah that is true....

 

The image is overflowing my mind, i should make a plan. I call changmin, yoochun and junsu, in case they can give me some idea....

“how about you come, and grab yunho’s hands and kiss him roughly until eveyone gasp and bam you ran away with him” yoochun gave the first idea

“that sounds so ” i muttered, his idea really gave me a chill.....

“what if you come and beg him to the knees and say i love you repeatedly until he hug you and bring you out from there” junsu said, the idea gave me image of some beggar

“just come and say to him, how you feel and say sorry to him. I thinks thats works” changmin says, hey thats a good idea i think, i hug changmin and jump happily...

 

Yeah thats right, i can do that..... yunho is mine from beginning....

 

~flashback end~

When i open my eyes, the priest still talking nonsense, i look at yunho who just stood there meanwhile the girls beside him look so happy, she cant stop smiling. Maybe all of you wondering about my plan last day, i already trying to meet yunho, but his mom forbid me. Sighing i just keep looking at him.

“the people who would married, should be loving each other, protect each other forever, when sick and healthy, when rich and poor, when happy and sad, until die, stay together and forever. You Go Ahra, do you agree to be his wife??” the priest ask and the girl beside yunho sream loudly

“I DOOOOOOOO” the four of us, including jihye of course, look at her disgusting and then back looking at yunho. Oh my god here we go, the priest is about to ask the same thing as go ara.

I sat straightly, keep shaking my head to the left and right, saying “no no no no no yunho wont say yes” for many times inside my mind, i keep praying,  i know, yunho would hope the girl is me, the one who will be his bride is me.... my eyes begin teary, eyes fixed on yunho. Suddenly yunho turn back and look at me, i gasp and smile to him

“Kim jaejoong, do you really not love me anymore??” he ask directly to me, his eyes piercing and look so empty, i stand up, staring at his eyes

“im sorry yunho, i am a liar, im still loving you, no matter what i do to forget you, i just cant. I love you yunho” i smile and my tears rolled down on my cheek. Yunho eyes changed and look so bright, he smile to me and said to the girl beside him and priest

“sorry, my bride is in there, not her. I dont agree” he walk down from the altar and walking toward me.  He kneel down and take my hands, sliding a ring to my finger and said

“kim jaejoong, do you want to be my bride???” he smile and kiss my hand

OH MY ING GOD,.. AM I DREAMING??? YUNHO PROPOSE ME IN HIS WEDDING DAYYYY...

Im crying (again) and sat down on the floor, hug him tightly and say

“I DO YUNHO, I DO”

So many camera flash and take picture of us, the girls in altar scream and then runaway. Her family following and yunho’s mom cursed everything and left. Jihye come to us and say congrats to us.

“i know this will happen” yoochun come toward us and smirk, behind him there is changmin and junsu smile to us

“at least, someone so y like him get a happy ending” yoochun added and laugh

“congrats hyung” junsu and changmin give us a hug

I smile at yunho, he smile back to me. Thanks god for sent him to me, i really a lucky guy to get him.

“jaejoongie, you would get punishment tonight” yunho smirk to me and i feeling chill all over my body because of that smirk

Okay, i take my words back......  Im not lucky..... oh my god... my beautiful would be get abused tonight.....

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