Running Away.

I opened another chapter of my life with, however, running away from the past, running after the future but not even getting a grasp to what I have in the present.

All I want is a bright and happy future but how I wish I also have a contented past.

Unfortunately, what I have is haunting…melancholic and distant.

That’s why I don’t have a choice but to runaway…to run away from him.

He is just a past…forgotten but not forgiven.

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The heavy traffic is sending Kyuhyun to the limit of his capability to stay awake. Not even the loud honking of the cars behind him and the blinding light of the neon colors emanating from the establishments could rush the sleeping adrenaline in his veins.

The hustle-bustle of the crowd made his eyebrows to quirk a little but had forced to meet into one line as he stifled a yawn behind the palm of his hand, vision getting blurry and eyes immediately watered, visibly getting sleepy at every moment.

He opened his car window to savor the chilly wind of Seoul and regretfully pulling his face back inside when raindrops hit his face and when he squinted his eyes, he just realized the reason why he was stuck in a heavy traffic.

The subway was closed due to the impending heavy rain and Kyuhyun chuckled at how lost he was at that time, not even updated with the weather and things outside the penumbra of his sullen life. He cursed at the sudden drops of the rain, just how it cascaded through the windows of his car –slow and clear- just like someone else’s tears. He cursed at how he finds rain as something warm, defying and aggressive, instead of the usual pricking coldness bursting to one’s skin, fast and thick.

He cursed at how his eyes looked sideways, missing the road ahead of him and instead turning to the one phase of his life.

There was Sungmin, shivering at the icy temperature of rain, eyes closed tight to mask the pain he’s holding on to. Once, Sungmin was compared to a phase in his life- one that he had gone through, bitter and unforgettable, yet sweet and memorable- the one he always wanted to go back.

He parked his car at the curvature of the road, immediately bringing his coat with him as he lifts his foot towards Sungmin’s direction. And with tentative gut, he put his coat over Sungmin’s head and reached out his hand.

Sungmin looked up at him with bloodshot eyes silently thinking why the storm suddenly stopped.

Just he wished that storm in his life would also stop, at least to slow down, nonetheless he’ll wait.

Why did I end up falling for you?

No matter how much time has passed

I still thought you were right here

“Where is Siwon,” the words seem heavy but he’s proud it rolled off from his mouth smoothly.

He darted his eyes elsewhere, not wanting to see how Sungmin dries his self or how those droplets of water adorned Sungmin’s body, and no not even the wet shirt would make Kyuhyun to paint streaks of pink across his face.

But it’s too late; he just found himself struggling to breathe as he’s suffocated with the confinements of his house.

“Thank you for accommodating me here Kyuhyun-ssi but I think I need to go.” Sungmin’s voice was never that little and lifeless the last time kyuhyun heard it or maybe, it was still the old Sungmin, it was him who changed after all.

A hand stopped Sungmin from getting up from Kyuhyun’s now wet couch and the way it held the smaller guy is revolting, confusing and full of selfishness.

“Don’t go,”

Sungmin turned around to meet Kyuhyun’s cold eyes, the towel in his hand fell silently over the red carpet just like how his heart dropped into a million pieces.

I won’t.

“I have to.” Someone is waiting.

The touch is burning, warmth slowly leaving his body and he just wanted to chase after it, but too bad it left him before he had a chance.

“Don’t leave me,”

I never left you.

This time Sungmin heard a sob, this time no one stopped him, this time no hand prevented him from going, this time he heard two hearts breaking.

“You can’t tell me what to do Kyuhyun.” Though he’s falling in from a stupor, he still believes he’s strong. He can still get out from Kyuhyun’s grasp, his invisible grasp.

“Let’s stop this …” though we don’t have anything to begin with.

The conviction from Sungmin’s lips is so strong and he can see the impact on Kyuhyun’s face.

Sungmin reached for his phone, abruptly dialing Siwon’s number, heart getting numb at each press and he feels like he can’t even go on. No, he needs to call Siwon. He needs Siwon.

He heard Kyuhyun muttered the word ‘stop’, he heard Kyuhyun’s please, he heard Kyuhyun’s muffled cries.

He felt Kyuhyun’s lips over his.

He struggled, he fought, he screamed against the other’s mouth but just like before, he gave in.

He gave in before he had the chance to think of it.

He didn’t kiss back; he just cried however, his arms around Kyuhyun’s waist, holding to him as if he is not a threat. Clutching the sides of Kyuhyun’s shirt, he let tears fall from his eyes again; see