We were walking hand in hand through the snow as we laughed together, and snuggling with one another for the sake of not freezing our skins off in this weather. I loved being with Minho, he was my one and only true love. And..I even think he likes me back a little, but I still feel very doubtful of it. We've always shared a deep bond with one another, and as each day passed where we would spend the days together, I found myself feeling more and more that he really did like me back.

Just then, Minho stopped abruptly and sighed as he took a shaky breath after letting go of my hand.

"We're getting married!" He exclaimed, throwing his hands up high in the air as he smiled.
     
"W-What?" I stammered, able to feel my heart shatter into tiny pieces almost instantly at his words. Married? They're getting married? How could that be? "When did you propose?" I asked, trying my best not to sound hurt.

He grinned proudly and folded his arms across his chest, "Just last night. Remember? That's when you helped me prepare." 

"But, I didn't know you would propose!" If I did I wouldn't have helped.

"Really? What does, 'special date' mean to you?" He asked with a raised brow.

"Well, I thought it was simply ." I said bluntly. He laughed. He ing laughed. How could he? How could he do such a thing when I was the one who deeply loved him? The one who stayed by his side whether he needed me or not? When I was the one who wiped away the tears he shed which had hurt me ten times more than it did him? How..and why did such a thing like this happen to me?

"We..We made a promise remember?" I said, hoping that it would change his decision the slightest. Or maybe at least affect it even if a little.

"You mean when we were kids? Taemin-ah, we were like 14 years old. You can't possibly mean that promise do you?"

I felt my body shivering now, not only from the cold, but also from the shock I was getting in my heart. I couldn't breathe well, and felt as though I would faint right at that moment because apparently, that promise we made as kids was nothing but a mere memory to Minho. It was only a stupid promise we made to each other without thinking, for we were just kids. However, regardless of how young we were, the promise that Minho found ridiculous, I found the best thing that had ever happened in my life. That beautiful promise, that I made a vow inside my heart was completely childish and immature to the Choi Minho, who was now getting married to someone who was not me.

"Taemin, I'm 23 years old now, I won't get any younger, plus I love Yuri. And I mean, that promise was made when we were kids. We were probably just playing around you know?" He said, placing his warm hand on my shaking shoulder. I had to change the subject, it was clear that he was completely clueless of my feelings, so what more could I have done at this moment? "Wait what? Hyung, are you stupid? I meant the promise you made to invite me as your best man to your wedding." I lied. I didn't want to be in his wedding. I didn't want to see that kind, wonderful woman having the honor of marrying my true love, but I had nothing else to say. No other excuse but that…which is something I know I will regret more than anything.

He laughed after realizing what I'd 'meant' and scratched the back of his neck in the process of the memory.

"Oh, haha! When did I make that promise?" He asked me.
   
I chuckled and slapped his arm softly even when I felt like punching the life out of him, "Remember when you turned 21? Before we got drunk, me and you cheered after you asked me to be your best man for your wedding." I said forcing a smile as I excluded the part of me and him giving each other a . I had been sober enough to know that that happened, and can I tell you it was one of the best moments in my life. But sadly, Minho was too drunk to remember any of it. He chuckled and pulled me into his embrace, something I wished he hadn't done because the moment he did, I broke down into a sobbing mess. Stupid right? Me suddenly crying in his arms like an idiot? Well don't blame me.. I just couldn't help it.

Minho was startled at my reaction and cooed soothing words into my ear like he always did whenever I cried. I just wish he knew my pain. I wish he knew just how much I loved him. Of course, it didn't take long for me to calm down since he always had the magic touch to calm me. "W-What's wrong?" He asked, kissing my tears away on my cheeks.

I couldn't tell him could I? No..that was simply impossible. I guess he doesn't like me back does he? How idiotic of me to even think I had the right to imagine us together.

"I'm-I'm j-just s-so happ-py for you." I stammered lifting my face out of his chest. He smiled and brushed my bangs away from my forehead.

"You’re really that happy?" He asked, caressing my cheek.

I giggled with the ticklish skin contact and held the hand against my cheek. "Yes.." I said. To be honest, I was both happy and devastated about it. I can't imagine seeing him with someone else, but it would be sad to see him stay alone, because I knew I would never have the guts to confess to him either way, for he would never accept my feelings.

-

We were back at our apartment and I couldn't help but smile with how excited Minho was. No matter how much it hurt, I still felt happy for them, even when I envied Yuri.

 "Yah, Minho Hyung, be a dear and make me a sandwich would ya?" I asked, plopping down next to him on his bed as he played on his Nintendo Ds. He immediately closed his DS and looked at me through slits.

"Excuse me? My lady, If anybody's getting a sandwich it's me." He scoffed, pulling my collar hard enough to make our noses touch. I blushed and saw his cheeks turn a shade of pink as well.

"I-I...I'm sorry…" Minho said sitting up instantly and pushing me aside. I fixed my collar and cleared my throat. "It’s fine, but you’re still making me my sandwich." And before he could answer I strut out his bedroom door. Yeah, he'd make my sandwich but I'd make his as well. We would always have these kinds of playful arguments, but that was the first time we were so close. His breath was so warm and soothing that it was almost like it was caressing my lips.

I shook my head vigorously and grabbed the loaf of bread that was sealed in a plastic and some other ingredients. I prepared the two slices of bread before I spread some mayonnaise and ketchup with a butter knife. I was going to turn around but before I could, long muscular arms wrapped around my waist.

"Minho.." I exhaled. The back hug might've been wonderful but the fact that he was engaged to another person made me less enthusiastic about it. He nuzzled his nose onto my hair and sniffed as if a dog would smell another.

"Taemin.." He whispered. “Are you done with my sandwich yet?"

"I only just started making it." I scoffed and placed the lettuce neatly on the bread before putting the meat. He whined next to my ear, and if he wasn't so adorable I would've been annoyed.

"Well don't just stand there. Go make me mine." I said pushing him away with my . He chuckled and did as I said, not even noticing my teary eyes. He was getting married now..and that meant..that meant we wouldn't have even the slightest chance to be together anymore. As the thought hit me hard I feel as if I should've done something before...I should've confronted him about my feelings but I was too damn scared of how he would react.

I finally placed the last slice of ham and gently laid the bread on top, finishing it off with a smiley face and heart drawn with ketchup. It was surprising to see that Minho was finished as well, considering how I'd started before him, but nevertheless we were both happy and satisfied with our sandwiches. The only thing that bothered me though, was why Minho wrote his name on my sandwich. I mean, it's not like were together (Although I wished we were). I chewed very slowly and savored every layer of flavor that melted into my mouth.

"Minho." I said with a stuffed mouth, "Why'd you puch your name on my sammich?"

He laughed, "Yah, don't speak with your mouth full."

I giggled and swallowed the piece of sandwich in my mouth, "Why'd you put your name on my sandwich?" I repeated.

Minho smiled and swiped his thumb at the corner of my lips before he off the ketchup on his fingers.

"You’re like a little baby." He teased, making me blush.

"You didn't answer my question." I said immediately, placing my elbows on the table and resting my chin on my open palms.

He chuckled and squeezed my cheek, "Well isn't it obvious?" he asked. I shook my head as he sighed.

"If you really want me to explain it's really just because I'm yours." Mine? Since when?

"Eh?" I replied, dying of curiosity. He took a bite of his sandwich and swallowed.

 "I'm yours and your mine, Best friends for life right?" he continued.

"Right..best friends…" I chuckled weakly. Instantly, he stopped eating and placed his sandwich on his plate before rubbing his hands together to dust off the crumbs. He must have noticed my tone.

"Did I say something wrong?" he asked. I was going to answer a straight, 'Yes.' but I couldn't. Me expressing my feelings to him won't affect the great decision he had made. In response to his question, I promptly shook my head, able to feel my heart shrink into nothing but thin air.

Apparently that response wasn't enough, so instead, he got up from his seat and sat next to me, slinging his arm gently around my shoulders as he spoke with a concerned voice, "Taemin-ah, Is there something you want to tell me?"

Millions of words about how much I loved and cared for him rushed through my head. Of course there's something I wanted to tell him. I love you. I wanted to say just that. Simple, but deeply heart felt. I wanted nothing more than for him to realize that, but my lips remained sealed, the words staying hidden and unnoticed.

"No, I'm just..thinking." I replied. He softly gripped my shoulder.

"About what?" he asked.

About you. "Just what I should do on your wedding. I mean, whose planning it? Who are you inviting? When's the bachelor party?" I said, hoping he wouldn't notice anything off about my tone anymore. Thankfully, he didn't and he laughed it off after kissing my cheek.

"Well, those are things for me to worry, not for you okay?" he stated gently. I smiled and ate the rest of my sandwich as he did the same. We washed our dishes together, one soaping, while the other rinsed. I guess I should've known this day was coming sooner or later. Instead of just standing back and watching from afar, I should have made him mine the moment I had a chance. I was already so upset that he started dating other people, but the fact that he was getting married just crushed me. I'd rather die than have to see Minho being in the hands of someone who isn't me. 

"Minho?" I said softly as I washed my hands.

He turned his head to face me, "Yeah?"

"Do you love me?"

"L-Love?"

"Yes..love. Do you love me?"

I could tell he was startled with my question, but I needed an answer whether he liked it or not.

 Do you?" I asked again, slightly getting impatient. He averted his eyes to the sink and stayed like that for a few minutes before coming back to reality. I was going to ask again, but instead, he kissed my cheek and went to his room. The moment he did, I let my tears flow down my cheeks, because of how I held it for so long the whole time we were together. To think I had been able to keep myself from doing that the whole few minutes was a miracle to me.

"M-Minho..." I hiccupped, burying my face into my hands as I cried. I love you Minho. I really do. If only you had told me earlier that you had chosen to get married at this time, I think I would've actually confessed. I would've told him how I really felt, but now...everything's turning out the way I didn't want it to be. I hate love. It causes me so much happiness…yet so much pain. I just wish that the next time I wake up this would be just a nightmare.

-

"Are you ready?" He asked me. I took a shaky breath and gave him the best smile I could. He immediately noticed the forced muscles I had given and pulled me into his comfortable arms.

"You know…you don't really have to do this." He murmured. I felt the tears prickling my eyes and instantly shut them tight to keep myself from crying. Today is his wedding day and I'm here in my dressing room with Kibum, getting prepared for when I'd make my appearance on the event. I'd been asked to play the piano for their wedding, so I really couldn't reject because one: Minho begged me and two: I can't say no to him.

"No, I'm fine." I replied sternly after pulling away from his tight embrace. "I know I'll get over him. I just need time."

Kibum gave me a pitiful smile, and kissed my cheek just like a big brother would. "I just hope you'll be okay." He mumbled, walking out the door and leaving me alone in the dressing room.

 It shut softly and made a click sound before it was fully closed. I let out a breath that I didn't even know I was holding, but at that moment I just couldn't get the fact of how I'd be walking down the aisle, not because I'm marrying my dear Minho, but because he's getting married to another while I'm only here to play for his wedding.

"Minho..” I murmured quietly to myself, doodling his name onto the mirror I sat in front of. "How could my life end up like this? How is it that you’re marrying the wrong person? Why is it that I'm not the one getting ready to get married…that I'm not the one who's incredibly nervous. I've heard how brides would always get second thoughts about marrying their soon-to-be-husbands, but if it were me and Minho in their place..I know I would never be surer than I would be in that moment. Isn't that..enough? Wasn't I enough?"

I chuckled softly. Here I am talking to nothing but my sad reflection. Speaking the truth inside of me while no one but me is able to hear my sorrowful words. I felt my heart clenching, along with my body feeling painfully numb. "Why.." I sighed. Someone suddenly entered my room, and it was Jonghyun, the wedding planner for Minho.

"Cheogyo, but your Lee Taemin right?" He asked softly. I gave him a small nod and looked back at my reflection.

"Is there something you need?" I said, hoping he'd leave as soon as possible.

"Well, we need you to be seated at your spot. Plus, your schedule for playing is coming soon." He explained.

I sighed loudly. I guess it's time.

Before I got up from my seat, I checked my appearance and did a few adjustments. Then I made my way outside the door. The door that would lead me to my deepest nightmares that had been happening right before my eyes. "Let's go." He said gently, and closed the door behind me as he led the way to the aisle. Then, next thing I knew I was in front of the rolled out carpet that lead to Minho who was making some final decisions. I didn't see Yuri, and I wasn't planning on seeing her, unless she wanted to lose one of her body parts then I think it's best if we remain separated.

"Minho." I called, giving a smile from the other end of the room. He lifted his head up and smiled brightly when he saw me. Immediately, he ran to me, ignoring the people around him who scolded for him to be careful. But we both didn't care, I could tell, and the two of us made our way to each other and embraced one another tightly in our arms.

"Your finally here." He whispered.

My heart thumped as I tip-toed and kissed his cheek, "Duh, Why would I miss this?" I scoffed.

He chuckled and returned the kiss to my forehead. "Well, you better not, or else I'd kill you on your wedding day." He joked. I laughed and playfully punched his arm. He laughed as well, and gestured to the piano that rested a little bit to the right of the aisle. I froze when I faced the piano. It looked exactly like the one we'd seen as teenagers. I remember having a strong passion for music when I was younger, and playing the piano was one of my childhood desires. Minho and I were making our way home, when we stumbled upon this fella sitting behind a glass wall that kept me from touching it. I didn’t know if he knew, but I really wanted the piano, and I knew back then that I was nowhere near affording it.

 "M-Minho, don't tell me.." I said slowly as I walked closer the white, glossy piano.

Minho turned my head to his and lifted my chin as he nodded, "Yeah. This is the piano we saw as kids. I promised to get it for you on your birthday, but I couldn't wait any longer, plus it's my wedding day." He explained. My cheery smile slowly faded as I had suddenly been reminded it was still his wedding day.

How tragic. The birthday present he gave me was obviously going to be one of my prized possessions, only now it was something I wanted to avoid, for when I would play it, it would signal the beginning of the ceremony.

"T-Thank you..." I said softly, and squeezed Minho into my arms. He gave me a squeeze back and let me sit down on the fancy bench that sat near it. I slowly traced the clean keys with my fingers and couldn't help but fawn over how new it felt.

 "Wow.." I gasped, pressing a single key that sounded a high note. Minho sat right next to me, and softly pressed the keys next to my fingers.

"Beautiful right?" He said softly. I barely nodded, being in a bit of a daze with the piano.

"Of course it is Minho. How could you even buy something so expensive."

"I was talking about you."

My body froze. Me? Beautiful? "W-What?" I stammered, looking at him with bulging eyes. Minho blushed and caressed my cheek.

"I meant that you look very beautiful." He whispered. My gosh, if we weren't in public I would've kissed his lips, but instead I blushed and hugged him tightly.

"Thanks..again." I mumbled. He chuckled and got up from the bench as he waved me off and bid me good luck. He had instructed me to wait for his signal to play the piano, so I had no other choice but to sit down in front of the piano until I was told to do something else. Everything slowly fell into place. The decorations and flowers were getting done, along with all of the people participating being able to finish dressing up and getting to their starting places. It was about less than a half hour later, when I'd been given the sign and before I knew it, I was playing the notes of a wedding song. First it was Minho’s mother and his other best man, Kibum. They slowly walked down the aisle, both looking gorgeous. Then it was Minho’s dad and one of Yuri’s maid of honor. His dad was dressed up in a fancy tux, one that made his body look slim, and fit. Yoona, the maid of honor, had her arm s through his father’s arm, her dress, a light shade of blue that had soft ruffles flowing down to the tip of her skirt.

After, the rest of the bridesmaids came, along with Jonghyun, who was the ring barrer as well. I hadn’t met him, but he was definitely kind and handsome now that I get a good look at him, no wonder Kibum had taken a liking to him. Anyone could tell he was muscular with just one look, but now that he wore a formal outfit, it just seemed to make his manly features stand out more. By the time Yuri came in, I was at the bridge of the song. The moment she entered, all eyes were on her, none even bothering to look back at us who were just as awed as them. Yuri had a beautiful white dress, one that was long and made it’s way elegantly to the floor. A white rose was at the right of her waist, tied with a single strip of silk that made the dress look amazing with it’s simple design. She held a bouquet in her hands that had light colorful flowers surrounded with a baby blue silk cloth tied at the bottom. A white, circular accessory made out of small lilies rested on her head. It had a translucent white cloth wrapped around it, which flowed down her hair, all the way to her spine.

She was indeed beautiful, almost perfect. Slowly, and gracefully, she walked down the carpet. Each step she took, made my breath seem to stop. A bunch of knots formed at the pit of stomach, along with a lump of nervousness swelling in my throat.

"Don’t...” I whispered. Then she was next to Minho, who held out his hand for her to grab when stepping up the stair. She took his hand gently and stepped up. Before I knew it, I was done with my song, now completely stiff and solid as a rock in my seat as Onew, the priest, started to speak. I ignored every word he said and only unmuted my ears once I finally heard the final verses they would recite at the wedding.

“Choi Minho, do you take Kwon Yuri as your beloved wife until death do you part?”

“I do.”

“Do you Kwon Yuri, take Minho as your beloved husband until death do you part?”

“I do.”

The priest smiled, and simply closed his book as he started to wait while he stared into space. I was confused, wasn’t he supposed to say ‘kiss the bride’? Whispers and murmurs started to form around the audience. Minho looked completely annoyed, and god knows what he would’ve done to Onew if they weren’t in public. Yuri looked nervous as well and kept sneaking glances at Jonghyun. He gave a simple shrug and was obviously panicking in the inside. Just then, Minho nudged Onew, who was still oblivious to the whole situation.

 "What?” The priest hissed. Everybody gasped at his rudeness, and started to gossip even more amongst themselves.

 “Oh for goodness sakes just kiss the damn girl already!” He said as if he had already told them long ago. Yuri giggled, causing everyone to laugh along as well. I was sort of happy he didn’t continue, but I still felt a bit embarrassed with how he was dumb enough to forget one of the most important parts in a wedding.

 Eventually, the worst moment of my whole life occurred. Minho looked lovingly at Yuri and caressed her cheek before he gracefully leaned in and connected his lips with hers. At that moment my heart dropped down to my ribcage, feeling as if someone tore it out of my chest and stomped on it after laughing at how stupid I was to even think we had a chance together.

You don’t deserve someone like him.

You’re everything a person would just love to get rid of.

Something so worthless that no one would bother to even remember.

He deserves someone beautiful and worth living with, like Yuri.

Not a piece of useless like you.

The tears were at the verge of releasing from my eyes, and I just knew I wouldn’t be able to hold them back too long, so right after their lips disconnected from one another in the loud cheers surrounding them, I quietly got up from my seat, going unnoticed, and walked out of the church as fast as my feet could take me. I still held the liquids in my eyes and kept walking. Going farther and farther until finally I knew I was lost and far away. I ended up in an abandoned alley. Once I noticed no one was there I broke. The tears rapidly streamed down my face as I cried out in pain and fell on my knees.

“M-Minho.. I-I..I hate you!” I screamed. I was happy I wasn't being seen like this but the fact that no one would reach out to me only made me feel even worse than I already was. I was all alone; no comfort, no love. I threw punches on the floor, and kept chanting those words I didn’t mean. ‘I hate you..I hate you..I hate you.’ I had sobbed out loud. Those words were really the only feeling that was close to descripting how much pain my heart was experiencing, so without thinking it flowed out of my quivering mouth. Every word, and sound getting even more agonizing beneath my tongue.

“W-Why?” Someone said, behind me.

My head shot up as I instantly recognized the voice. It was him. Ever so slowly, I turned my head and saw Minho behind me, panting with eyes being watery and shocked.

"Minho..” I whispered, covering my lips. He in a gasp before he tried to pull me up but I pushed his hands away. “Don’t touch me.” I said harshly. I saw his eyes instantly darken, in a way that made me want to apologize and just like always, I surrendered. “I-I’m sorry.” I added quickly, standing up and holding his hands in mine. He furrowed his brows and was even more puzzled.

“I thought you loved me.” He murmured. Of course I love you, but not as a friend Minho, it's more than that.

I nodded and kissed his forehead as an apology. “I do.” I replied. “It’s just...”

“Just what?” He said, obviously getting impatient. But there was a hint of something else I couldn't really put my finger on, all I know is it felt like he would lose it as well.

I shook my head this time and wiped away my tears, “You know what, forget this ever happened. I was just..having my bipolar moment.” I explained, even when I knew it was a stupid reason to believe. Surprisingly though, he nodded and hugged me tightly. I knew he didn’t think my excuse was real, but regardless of that, he did nothing to accuse me of anything else and I was grateful for that.

“Please don’t say that again.” He mumbled near my ear. I didn’t answer, because in all honesty, I don’t know if I would be able to not say that again. “Okay?” He said, hoping I’d confirm after pulling me away from the hug and gripping my shoulders tightly. I gave him a smile, which was always considered a yes when I’d respond, but right now that was simply a ‘No promises’ smile. He smiled as well and pecked my cheek before holding my hand, “C’mon let’s go back before they start cutting the cake.” He said. I forced a small laugh and ran after him as he dragged me along his side, him not even knowing, that the pain I was in was absolutely unbearable.  

-

I gently swiped the vanilla flavored ice cream with my index finger and smeared it on Taemin’s cheek. He immediately gasped, probably from the cold sensation put upon his cheek, but either way, it was just adorable.

“Yah!” He whined as he shoved his ice cream on my nose. I gasped as well, and glared at him.

“What the heck!” I screamed playfully as I pushed him. Next thing I knew, I went from being slightly annoyed, to laughing like an idiot with ice cream on my face. His laugh was always so contagious. Something I’m sure no one would be able to at least smile at. He was gorgeous when he smiled. His pearly whites would always shine brightly as his cherry pink lips would softly spread to his high, softly defined cheekbones. Those brown orbs would brighten as he let out the most beautiful sound of laughter, a sound that I would think as an angel’s song while his long lashes would brush gently against his cheeks whenever he blinked. He was just…Taemin.

“You weirdo.” I said after our laughter died down. He blushed, just so cutely that I kissed his cheek. And when I did that, his cheeks got even brighter. Just so adorable. He smiled as well and kissed my cheek after he gathered the confidence in him. It was pretty obvious he was nervous, but there was nothing to worry about, I mean he was just perfect. We slightly chuckled at one another and sat down on the swings we stumbled upon after walking around aimlessly. Technically, Taemin sat down on the swing as I pushed him. I’d rather hear him laugh because of me, than have him pout from not being able to move the swing on his own. The sun was already starting to settle down the mountains, which was exactly when me and Taemin would have our best moments. We’d hold hands, kiss each other’s cheeks and even share secrets that only we would know. And today we made a promise that I would never forget.

“Taemin..” I whispered as I entwined my hand with his and stood beside him and the swing. He smiled and hummed in response. “Can we make a promise?” I asked, blushing brightly to what I was about to ask him next. He nodded and kissed my cheek before watching me intently. “Do you promise to marry me when we grow older?” I said softly. I swear he turned into a bright red tomato, but I didn’t care, I just wanted him to promise to be mine forever.

“I-I don’t know Minho..isn’t that too early to be thinking about?” He said softly and buried his face on my chest after standing up. I shook my head and kissed his forehead before enveloping my arm around his waist.

“Please? Promise me we’ll get married?” I begged. He slightly laughed as he gave a small nod with his cheeks still burning bright.

“I promise.” He said enthusiastically and puckered his lips. I leaned down and brushed my lips on his, our small muscles moving in sync. It was amazing. That was the first kiss we’ve ever shared on the lips, and I was nowhere close to regret for having my first kiss given to him, because he was my first love.

“Taemin-ah.” I said softly.

“Hmm?” He replied.

“We have to do our official promise handshake.” I sighed.

He covered his mouth and shook his head vigorously. “N-No, we can’t Minho.” He reasoned.

“We have to Taemin. I need to know you’ll keep it.”

He groaned and pouted even more as we stood in front of one another.

“Okay, I promise to marry you when we grow older.” I said confidently.

He repeated the same thing before we shared a peck another peck that didn' fail to lighten up our cheeks. Then we entwined our pinkies with one another and touched thumbs before we took a deep breath for the harsh part of the handshake. I immediately balled my fist as he did the same, and then, we were lying on the floor with agonizing privates.

“O-Okay, it’s official.” I said, and then we laughed loudly. I turned my head to him, and saw him wear that perfect smile. “You won’t forget right?” I exhaled before Taemin giggled.

“I promise this Minho, I just hope you remember it forever too.”

“I will, I promise.”

-

2 years later

Instantly, I sat up on my bed, breathing heavily as I wiped the sweat that beaded my forehead and just realized something. And that was how I broke our promise. I feel so horrible. No wonder Taemin hated me that day. How could I make it sound as if I found it ridiculous? Why did I even respond to him like that? I feel so pathetic, like a traitor. How could I? And to think, that all this time Taemin managed to smile even though he was enduring so much pain. I should’ve known the kinds of hardship he was facing now that I was married. But no, instead I was dumb enough to not even think twice about it until now. Through the few years, I’ve been getting these dreams about the two of us. Like I was falling for him once more. I’ve been getting the flashbacks about our memories of childhood days when I fell for him. I don’t know if it’s wrong, but all I do know is that I can’t get him out of my head ever since the promise made it’s way back into my head. I shook my head vigorously and slapped my face.

“No.” I said firmly to myself. “I can’t do that. It is wrong. I’m a married man.”

You are a married man, but does your heart really belong to Yuri? Or was it all an illusion? Hasn’t your heart been taken by Taemin this whole time?

“Shut up.” I hissed, massaging my temples as my conscious spoke. My forehead was throbbing harshly, close to making me inherit a migraine.

“I don’t love him.” I whispered.

Yes you do.

“No I don’t.”

Don’t lie to yourself Choi Minho.

“I'm not. I love Yuri, not him.”

Do You Minho? Do you really only love Yuri?

“Y-Yes.”

Huh? What was that? Did I just hear a sudden hesitation in your sentence?

“No! I don’t love him and I never will!” I fired back. Just then, my conscious completely remained silent, not bothering me anymore than it did. I instantly sighed in relief, but I still felt guilty for saying those words. I mean, was I in love with him? Am I really lying to myself? Suddenly, I felt someone next to me shifting and stirring, making me just realize that I was sleeping with my wife. The woman who I’d been married to for about two years now.

“Minho?” She said softly as her eyes struggled to open all the way. I smiled, and gently brushed my lips on her cheek,

“Good Morning honey.” I said softly.

She laughed a kind laugh that was strangely not as charming or perfect as Taemin’s.

“Good Morning…” She whispered.

“Did you sleep well?” I asked, slowly getting out of bed as I slipped on my slippers.

She nodded and sat up before stretching and yawning.

“You want anything specific for breakfast?” She asked softly.

I simply shook my head, “Whatever’s there is fine.” She smiled and left the bedroom to prepare our breakfast. I don’t know why, but the whole time I was with her at the moment, I couldn’t help but compare her to Taemin. Her smile was pretty, but it wasn’t beautiful like Taemin’s. Her voice was very feminine, but not as silky like Taemin’s. The way she stretched was so normal, not attractive or cute like him. She was gentle when she got off of the bed, but not even close to being elegant like Taemin. Everything she did, it was not even close to Taemin. But why? Why was my mind thinking like this? I’m married for goodness sakes, and Taemin is a man. He might not even feel like the way I did for him. If he did then maybe...maybe I do lov-...no. I do not love him. I am not attracted to him, and I won’t think about him.

-

I can’t take it anymore. I can’t go on like this. My whole life has been nothing but pain and sorrow. It’s been two years since Minho got married, and I thought I’d be over him by now, but no..my heart just won’t let go. Even when I knew it would never happen, even when I knew it was not possible for me and him to be together, my heart still managed to have a small part of it that hung onto him. That one small part of me still had the tiniest piece of hope left. Even when it’s small, it burns brightly within me. Why..why does it do that?!

“WHY!!” I screamed punching the mirror I was standing in front of.

I felt a warm liquid leaking down my knuckles as I pulled my hand away. I knew I was bleeding, but at the moment, I was completely numbed with sorrow.

"Why won’t he love me?!” I shouted. I threw everything off my sink and kicked the cabinets until they split.

 It wasn’t enough. I needed to destroy everything. I wanted to break everything and anything that had to do with Minho.

His presence, his scent, and even his own self seemed to linger in my whole house. I screamed at the bedroom I entered and threw everything on the floor, tore everything I saw, punched the walls ‘til there were holes, kicked and even clawed at every item or object in the room. I quickly made my way to the kitchen and took every single kitchen utensil before I harshly threw it on the floor. I broke glass cups; ripped photos of us; threw things everywhere until nothing was left. My breaths were hitched while my blood boiled with fury. Suddenly, my body felt weak, and painful as the numbness I was feeling not long ago, disappeared; causing me to be able to finally feel the pain I ignored thourghout my whole fit.

I completely broke down and cried onto the floor as I clawed at my own hair. My heart finally lost the last piece of hope and happiness I had. It completely died out, like the last candle on earth was blown and diminished by the wind. There, right at that single second, my cries silenced.

 “Minho..” I whispered. My hands balled into fists as I knew that this day had finally come.

 There was no more turning back, because if I continued on, I would only suffer. I stood up on my feet and went to my destroyed room. Quickly, I rushed through my cabinets, throwing each item to the floor since it was no use to me. Finally I found the weapon. My gun. I grabbed it into my hand and wore my shoes before I stormed out the door of my broken apartment. I knew what I was going to do now and I just knew that there was no other solution.

-

Minho paced around in his room, feeling as if he had to do something. Like he had to fix the mistake, or at least try to make things better. However, he had only yet to find that what he was going to witness, would simply change his life. Soon enough, Yuri called him from downstairs, announcing how dinner was ready. He hadn’t eaten all morning, and afternoon, since he really didn’t have an appetite, but now he knew his wife would not tolerate him rejecting his food the third time.

“Honey! Dinner’s ready!” She called sweetly.

 "Alright.” He replied back, and went downstairs to the kitchen, where his wife sat patiently by the table. Minho slowly pulled out his chair and sat down, giving a soft smile to Yuri who returned it as well.

“So, Minho-ah, how’s Taemin?” She suddenly asked after a few moments of silence and chewing. Minho choked on his food and banged his fist against his chest as he tried to cough out the piece of food stuck. Yuri giggled and instantly handed him a cup of water, which he chugged down.

"W-Why so sudden?” He asked after finally relaxing his tensed body.

She tilted her head, “Well, you’ve been mumbling his name in the bedroom a lot, so I’m guessing he’s the reason why you’ve been so troubled this whole time.” She explained, pouring some soup onto her bowl of rice.

Minho took a deep breath and couldn’t believe he was that obvious. “It’s nothing.” He replied.

She sighed, “It sure doesn’t sound like it.”

Minho stuffed three bites into his mouth and stayed quiet, not wanting to tell her how he felt guilty for breaking a promise of marriage to Taemin. If he did, he knew Yuri would not be happy.

“Minho..” She said, gently holding his shoulder.

He ignored her and continued to eat. No matter how much she’d beg, Minho would not tell her. He wouldn’t even do it if it was a different secret. Yuri frowned and went back to her eating as she stayed silent. They heard a buzz, one that occurred whenever someone was in front of their gate.

“I’ll get it.” Minho said, and got up before he made his way to his computer that was connected to the buzzer with a webcam that would monitor the person outside pressing their button.

Although, even when he thought it was just someone unimportant, he was shocked to find Taemin standing in front of the webcam.

“T-Taemin?” Minho stammered, touching the screen as if it were the actual him.

Taemin chuckled weakly, “Yeah..it’s me.” He whispered.

He felt like crying when he faced Minho, because he felt as if he was once again complete, even when they weren’t physically together at the moment, it was still perfect for him.

“Why are you here? Is something wrong?” Minho questioned, going closer to the webcam.

Taemin shook his head, “Anyi, just…can you come outside?” He asked softly.

The elder immediately nodded and closed the webcam as he grabbed a sweater and rushed out the door. He found Taemin right outside his gate, who seemed to look tired, but still beautiful. He rushed to him and stepped out of his gate, surprising Taemin as he hugged him tightly.

"Taemin..” He whispered. The younger hugged him back as he felt his body getting weaker by the second.
     
“Have..you missed me?” He asked softly. Minho pulled away, nodding vigorously after pecking his forehead.

Taemin smiled wearily and caressed Minho’s cheek with his shaky hand. “I’m really going to miss you..” He murmured.

Minho furrowed his brows and held the hand that was touching his cheek. “W-What do you mean?” He asked, feeling as if something was wrong or like something bad was going to happen. Taemin chuckled softly and suddenly collapsed into his arms. “Taemin!” Minho screamed, holding him securely. “W-What’s wrong?”

Taemin looked up, eyes half closed as he kept smiling. “Can you..promise me something…” He whispered, holding Minho’s collar.

“A-Anything, just tell me what happened!” He panicked through his words, trying to keep Taemin awake. Before Taemin could answer, Minho felt something warm and wet on his stomach. He slightly pulled Taemin away from his body and saw a dark red liquid soaking his own shirt and Taemin’s. His eyes widened as he slowly lifted the younger’s shirt up and saw three deep holes. “T-Taemin-what did you do?!” He cried, tears rapidly flowing down his cheeks.

 Taemin smiled and held onto the back of his neck, “Promise me, that we’ll see each other in heaven..” He said softly.

Minho felt his heart twist and turn in ways he had never experienced before, “No..I can't do that. Taemin you’re not going to die. PLEASE! Don’t!” He coaxed. He dropped the gun that he’d been holding in his hand ever since he arrived as he softly pulled Minho and kissed his cheek, knowing this was going to be the last time he’d see him and witness his presence. Taemin wanted to spend his last few breaths with him, because he knew there was no other way they could be together. And if he confessed now, he had nothing else to lose, because the time that he would reveal his true feelings would be at the verge of when his eyes would close.

“I love you Minho..” He said after pulling away. Minho choked, and cried even louder, burying his face on Taemin’s neck.

“Taemin..” He whimpered. The younger pushed Minho's head away and made him look at him. He might’ve asked him this before, but he just needed to confirm it. He just needed to know he would not be loved so he could go on.

“Do you..love me?” He said, his words so soft that Minho could barely understand it.

Minho thought for a moment, but already knew he did. He knew he loved Taemin, he always had. He even knew that his heart had never once let him go.

“I-I don’t know Taemin..just please..Don’t die on me…” He hiccupped. But even then, he was selfish enough to say he didn't know. Even if Taemin could die any second he still held himself back.

“I’m sorry..” Taemin whispered, slightly pained with his vague answer. “But..I can’t live anymore. My heart can only take so much pain..now…it can’t go on. I can’t go on…I..I..”

His eyes started to droop, which caused Minho to shake him lightly because seeing him pass away now was not an option. “No Taemin, fight for me. Please. Don’t die..if you do, I-I’ll kill myself.” He said shakily as he held him tighter.

Taemin weakly shook his head, “Why?..You have a life to live, I no longer do...I tried…but I can’t. Please forgive me..I’m just so weak and worthless.” He mumbled as he took breaths between his sentence.

Minho sniffed frequently at his false words, “You’re nothing close to worthless..” He whispered. This was it. His heart was finally revealing itself, and he had no idea how Taemin was pulling it out of him. “Y-You're everything to me Taemin! Everything, you hear me?! And you’re nowhere close to being weak. You’ve been through so much pain for so long, and you still manage to wear that beautiful smile.”

“W-Why do you praise some piece of crap like me…I mean..you don’t even love m-“

“I do love you!” He screamed, shocked at his own words.

Taemin’s eyes fully opened. Not just because of how sincere his words sounded, but also because of how he actually felt like Minho loved him back. “You..Since when?” He asked.

Minho smiled softly and didn’t answer his question, for his lips were unable to speak because of how the two had pressed their mouths onto on another. There was only one word for the kiss. And that was perfect. Their lips moved together like it was meant to be. It was a perfect fit for the both of them, and it was as if they were made for one another. Each muscle moved in harmony, both able to feel every other feeling fade out until nothing but love remained into their motioning lips. They disconnected their lips, making a small, delicate snap. Both were blushing, however, one was still feeling over emotional. A single tear escaped Taemin’s brown eyes, immediately being wiped away by Minho’s shaky finger. “I’ve loved you ever since we met.” He whispered, his tears softly landing on the cheeks of Taemin’s. "I love you even now.."

“D-Don’t cry…” Taemin grunted, shutting his eyes as he felt the pain increasing inside of him.“Please don’t cry..”

Minho choked between his sobs and spoke; only being barely understandable. “I can’t…I-I L-Love You t-too much.” He stammered. Why now..Why did I have to realize it like this..

Taemin chuckled softly, caressing his cheek as he smiled for the last time. “And I’m glad..that you do…” He whispered.

Minho screamed in sorrow, hugging Taemin gently in his arms as he cried on his neck.

They stayed like that, Taemin dying slowly but painfully in the arms of the love of his life while Minho cried, and cried, and cried. Both were in pain, one in physical and the other in emotional. Each was equally feeling excruciatingly sad since they knew that these moments were their last. Their last, lovely, yet sorrowful moments being together until one would finally drift away into a deep slumber, and would never awake again. Because it was too late. Minho and Taemin were too late. If Taemin had confessed earlier, it might’ve been less painful, but if Minho had told Taemin how he really felt, none of this would’ve happened. None of these problems would’ve occurred or made their way to the two who were desperately in love.

“Minho..” Taemin said in a silent voice. Minho instantly gave his full attention to Taemin and entwined their hands together.

"Yes T-Taemin?” He hiccupped. The younger brought his hand to Minho’s face, and gently traced his lips with his index finger, bringing it down this his chin, jawline, neck, and then shoulder.

“I love you.” He said softly.

 Minho’s eyes watered, “I love you more.” He told him, sharing one last kiss.

 He felt Taemin’s lips gently grow into a smile against his, and he briefly opened his eyes to get a glance. He was still as beautiful as ever. So flawless, and amazing. Even when he was close to dying, his eyes seemed to still be full of life, his skin still flawless and spotless like a new born child's, his lips, soft and plump while they eagerly moved on his. He quickly closed his eyes and poured more affection through his lips as he felt Taemin starting to lose his strength. His fat tears flowed down his cheeks even more, smearing against Taemin’s since he knew the time of his passing was near.

“Promise me..you won’t forget me…” Taemin whispered, pulling away.

Minho bit down on his lip, to keep himself from crying out even more at those words he'd never fail to remember. How he would not forget the beautiful face that stood before him, the body that made his own heart feel complete. All in all, he knew this didn't need to be a promise, because he knew he would never, ever, forget the love of his life.

“I promise.” Minho replied, softly obbing.

Taemin's smile grew brighter as he looked affectionately at him, “Goodbye Minho..” He murmured his hand caressing Minho’s cheek.

"No…Taemin..No, I love you Taemin! Don’t die!” He cried.

 “I..I love you..” Taemin whispered.

And then, Taemin’s hand slowly fell from his jaw. He no longer had control. He could no longer feel his own body. The only thing he saw was Minho’s crying face, along with hearing his I love you’s linger in his ears. He was happy. No matter how devastating this love was, all Taemin knew was that he was happy. Because he felt it coming from Minho, the one who he loved back. Let’s fix that, the one who he will love forever, for eternity, and infinity, knowing he’d be loved back, because those final moments..those final words, and breaths they shared; expressed their affection, and love.

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A/n: My sad one-shot. Huhuhuhu~ I hope it's good. I really do. I've been working on this for the past two weeks, while writing my other story, 'A Dream come true.' I just couldn't go on with this haunting the back of my head since I really really REALLY wanted to write this. I might do a sequel, but it really depends on the feedback. Please comment (saying if a sequel is wanted), vote, and subscribe, just in case of a sequel. I welcome all criticism, and lovely comments c: Annyong~

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