Not So Innocent Maknaes - taeminniebabii
Daebak Review Shop {Not Accepting}
⇒ Title [5/5]: Hey, it's perfectly creative and "One of A Kind". It's a simple but straight-forward title. I congratulate you for being the first to use it.
⇒ Appearance [5/10]: My first complaint is the picture on the title page. The faces are difficult to see because of the coloring. Also, if you are going to add graphics, go all the way. Don't hire someone to make you a poster if you don't also decorate the background.
⇒ Description/Foreword [14/20]: The foreword is only a few questions and you don't revela much, nor do you really offer any hooks to get a reader into the story. You only rephrased your title and added in some names. The Description was well done for the most part, but you revealed too much. Stop with Taemin pinning Sungjong to the wall with the hungry look. If you stop there it may propel readers to read away and never stop.
⇒ Characterization [10/10]: Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! Your characterization was spot-on. Each haracter had complete personalities, even if they were v ery minor, and they stuck to their personalities throughout the whole story.
⇒ Plot [22/25]: Well, the general story is pretty cliche so I had to deduct points from it. But the rest of it was very good. There really isn't much else for me to say, since it was fantastic and well thought.
⇒ Grammar [20/25]: Well, it was pretty good and mostly flawless. Your biggest problem came in the form of diologue. Especially in the chapter 2-7. The problem is simply this: Each time a different person speaks, you need to go down a line and start it as if it is a paragraph. Also, you commonly explained what a different characters reaction was in the line where they were not speaking. That can get confusing for some readers, so I would clarify it further.
⇒ Flow [5/5]: The story was a smooth as a pearl I don't have a single complaint.
⇒ Pace [6/10]: Alright, I have a few complaints. 1) You have no average publish length. Sometimes it was really short, other times longer, and sometimes in between. Try to avoid doing that. 2) The two random chapters that have nothing to do with the story should be removed or placed at the end. 3) The ending was much too short. I will not say what happened since people reading this review may wish to see it, but it was too fast.
⇒ Enjoyment [10/10]: I loved it and I read the entire thing in one sitting. It was completely addicting, and I love every character, even Taemin. I found myself yelling at him out loud every now and then too.
→ Moral [5/5]: The moral of the story was presented very well. I think it's a good lesson. The past should definitely remain where it is and not influence our choices too much.
★ Grade: [102/120]
85%
Comments