He’s walking in the same dark street again. Walking until he reaches the bright shining light pole at the end. Taemin knows someone is waiting for him there and he desperately hurries his footsteps. He knows that someone important, very important is waiting for him there. And finally when he reaches underneath the light pole, that person holds on to him. So close like Taemin was the most prized thing in the universe. Taemin felt loved. He looks up to search for the face but he’s blinded by the bright light. He shut his eyes in pain when he feels himself moving forward to touch the person. To touch the person with his lips because if he can’t goddamn see, he must at least feel. The moisture he feels on lips are addictive and he wants more but when he opens his lips once again, the strong hands gripping him disappears.

His bell rings and Taemin groans in frustration when he woke up. Its been months since he has the same dream over and over again. To feel the same lips over and over again. To feel frustrated that he hasn’t seen the face of the person he’s dreamt about over and over again.

Taemin walks to the bathroom and he’s thinking hard. Thinking hard to figure out who the hell it was that’s haunting him in his dreams. He feels frustrated because he feels so in love with the stranger in his sleeps.

Throughout the day, Taemin thinks.

He remembers the bright blinding light that always blocks his eyes.

He remembers the black leather jacket the stranger was wearing.

He remembers the strong hold the stranger had around him.

He remembers the moisture, the perfectness, the addictiveness of the kisses he and stranger shared.

He remembers the stranger. So why can’t he remember who the hell it was?

The next day, Taemin thinks again.

He remembers the half moon hiding behind the clouds.

He remembers the warmth he felt.

He remembers the coldness of the night when the stranger disappeared.

He remembers the sparkly silver chain hanging from the stranger’s left wrist.

He remembers. Its Minho.

Taemin knows he’s screwed up. And he regrets ever remembering.

  He’s walking in the same dark street again. Walking until he reaches the bright shining light pole at the end. Taemin knows someone is waiting for him there and he desperately hurries his footsteps. He knows that someone important, very important is waiting for him there. And finally when he reaches underneath the light pole, that person holds on to him. So close like Taemin was the most prized thing in the universe. Taemin felt loved. He looks up to search for the face and he sees him. He finally sees the stranger in his dreams.

Choi Minho.

It couldn’t be helped when Taemin leans in and kisses him again.

It couldn’t be helped that they shared more than one kiss that night in dreamland.

His bell rings and Taemin wakes up. His heart is racing. His breath is unsteady. His heart is feeling (very) guilty.

He feels guilty for exploiting Minho like this in his sleep. He feels guilty for doing all the things he doing in his sleep to Minho. He feels guilty for touching his bandmate the way he shouldn’t. Most of all, he feels guilty for falling in love with him.

This is wrong! he wants to scream. He shouldn’t, he couldn’t fall in love with Minho. Not with knowing this could ruin their lives, their Shinee, their careers, their friendship. His only connection to Minho.

Taemin tries to stop sleeping. Tries because its been two days since he’s slept and right now he starting to close his lids unconsciously. The five of them are being driven home and Taemin is sitting shotgun. He’s drifting to sleep slowly but definitely. In just mere short moments, he’s flown away to dreamland.

He dreams again. Dreams of them together and those damn kisses.

“Tae. Taemin.” he feels someone shaking his shoulders slightly. Taemin opens his eyes and sees Minho. That damn Choi Minho who is making him suffer like this.

“You want me to carry you inside?” the damn gentleman has to offer. Why does he have to be so freaking nice? So freaking good-looking? So freaking perfect? So ing i-can’t-help-but-fall-in-love-with-you?

“No. I can walk.” Taemin answers. He hates Choi Minho for making him love.

“Are you okay?” Minho asks him. Being honestly worried when he saw the dark circles under Taemin’s eyes.

“Yeah. I’m just tired.” So so very tired.

Later that evening, Taemin feels sleepy again. So he sits at his study table in his room and starts to knock his head on the wooden table. He knocks on it over and over and over again hoping the pain would awake him. Would prevent him from falling to sleep.

Knocks.

Knocks.

Knocks.

Knocks.

“What the hell are you doing?” he hears that damn voice screaming at him in panic.

Minho comes near and starts checking his forehead. His reddening, skin almost breaking forehead.

“Lee Taemin. What the hell were you doing?” Minho asks him again. Kneeling in front of him while rubbing Taemin’s red forehead with his thumb in small circles.

“I can’t sleep.” Taemin mumbles.

“Do you need some sleeping pills or I could make you some tea? Tea-“

“No Minho. I mean I cannot sleep. I cannot let myself sleep.”

“Why?” Minho stands up before carrying Taemin off his chair. Taemin hugs his body with his legs wrapped around Minho’s waist and his head resting on Minho’s shoulder. Minho places him on his bed before looking at the self-injured boy.

“Why can’t you sleep?” Minho asks again. Softly and patiently.

“I have dreams.”

“Of?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“You just hit your head over and over again on a table. Are you seriously telling me you won’t tell me what your problem is?”

“I’m scared.” Taemin hides his face in Minho’s chest.

“I’m really scared.” Taemin repeats.

“I’m here. You don’t have to be scared.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. You’re here, always.”

“Tae.” Minho says.  His tone asking Taemin to explain.

“Please don’t hate me.” Taemin mumbles at the end.

“You know I can never hate you. Its impossible to hate you.” The older one says before waiting a few moments for Taemin to sort out his mind before speaking.

“I have dreams of us. Together and I keep touching your lips in my sleep. I can’t stop myself from kissing you in my dreams. I’m sorry for doing that to you in my sleep. I swear i-“

“Tae, stop feeling guilty.”

“I’ve committed something wrong. How can I not feel guilty? Why aren’t you being mad at me?”

“Because, you haven’t had the faintest idea of what I do to you in my sleep.”

Author's note:please comment and comment and comment because I need your comments desperately and completely .