"Agh!" I cried, as I fell to the wooden floor in what must have been the hundredth time. I'd seriously lost counting after my twenty-eighth fall. 

 

I need to get this right,  even if it meant I would be spending the night in this practice room - so help me, I was prepared to do just that. Being rejected from the very final cut of StarGirlz had been a serious blow, not just to me, but for Manager Kim as well. I knew what he was thinking; did I have any right to be called a 'Top Trainee' when in the two years I had been here, all I had to show for my hardwork was commercials, and not even well paid ones. 

 

Then there was my new nose and fats removal, which I had only just recovered from, meaning for the past two months I hadn't had a single job. Today I had been training for two hours, but already I was exhausted, my muscles screaming in protest. My body had become lazy and unaccustomed to such a hard work. I'd need to change that and quickly.

 

My eyes found themselves drawn to the wall of mirrors, where I stared at myself hard. 

 

My hair, which was scraped up in a sloppy high pony tail had come free in places, the hair sticking to my sweat soaked skin. My cheeks were flushed and my eyes dull In tiredness. My black loose work out top had slipped down one shoulder, revealing the strap to my pink sports bra, the top only reaching the bottom of my ribs revealing my toned stomach, which was currently heaving with laboured breaths. On my legs were a pair of black, short cotton shorts, showing of my long legs, my thighs slimmer thanks to the fats removal. My nose, too, was a lot straighter and 'regal' looking, making my cheekbones more defined and my face slimmer, giving me a slight V shape which pleased Manager Kim.

 

Yet, all I could see were imperfections. We're my s too small? My waist too thick? Was my forehead always that long - and since when did my bottom lip look fuller than my top?

 

"Stop it..." I muttered to myself, standing up furiously. 

 

I needed to stop focusing on the negative and stop obsessing over beauty perfection. I couldn't undergo anymore surgery - it was just more money added to my debt which I couldn't afford. Stalking over towards my iPod docking station I pressed to restart the song and got into position, my actions jerky with anger and guilt. The beat began and my body responded naturally, finding the rhythm and moving through the moves smoothly, until it was soon time for the chorus, the crucial and most complicated part of the dance-

 

"Ah!" My cry this time was short and angered as I struck the ground, yet again. 

 

Dammit! Why could I never get that move right?!

 

"You're over thinking." The sudden deep voice startled me, causing me to jump in shock and whip around towards the door.

 

"Kim Jong In!" I sighed, covering my beating heart. "What are you even doing here?" He threw me an easy smirk. 

 

His dark hair was loose and fluffy, falling into his equally dark eyes which were watching me with amusement. He was wearing dark grey sweat pants with a black SMA hoodie, which looked a few sizes too big for his slight frame. He had joined just a year after me and was the same age as me - though he was slightly older. He was rumoured to be some sort of dancing prodigy and to have close connections in SM, though i never put faith in rumours. All the girls fawned over him, but I personally couldn't see the appeal. 

 

"I booked this room for seven..." He pointed out, strolling in with his towel over his shoulder in an easy going manner. 

 

At this words I glanced back up at the clock and sagged.

 

"I must have lost track of time..." I admited by way of apology for hogging the room twenty minutes over my allotted time. 

 

He shrugged as he made me way towards me and offered me his hand. I blinked up at it in surprise. 

 

"Uh, thanks..." My voice was a mumble as I took his offered hand and climbed to my feet, dusting myself off as I stood. He still stood close so I backed off, feeling suddenly defensive. I hated people in my personal space, especially guys at SM. They were all ful of themselves.

 

"Don't mention it. But I as serious about what i said - about you over thinking things. I could tell your body was into the flow of the music, but your mind was elsewhere. You need to be completely I'm sync with the music, both mind and body." He told me easily. I frowned at his advice, feeling a little miffed, though unsure why.

 

"I think I know how to dance." I told him sharply, turning my back to him to collect up my things. He followed me over and began helping me unhook my docking station whilst I patted my face with a towel and packed away my water bottles into my duffle bag. 

 

"I could tell. Your in the High Class right?" He guessed, meaning our status as Trainees. I puffed in pride that he could tell from my dancing - even if I had fallen, again.

 

"That's right." 

 

"Me too." I glanced across at him to see him smiling. "So take my advice as one High Trainee to another."

 

"I won't be falling again, so I don't need your advice."

 

"You won't?" He asked in surprise. "But fallings the best part about learning - if gives you the opportunity to make mistakes and learn from them, make yourself better."

 

"I think i'd rather get it right he first time than make loads of mistakes." I pointed out prissily. Who do this guy think he was lecturing?

 

"I'd rather bend than break." He told me easily. I blinked dumbly at the expression, "it means I would rather fall, make mistakes and change my skills to improve, than be perfect and one day break under the pressure of trying to be perfect. Getting to the top is not supposed to be easy, and it's our mistakes and how be overcome them that defines us." He explained, handing me the ipod dock.

 

I took it dumbly and slipped it into my duffle bag.

 

"I'm here tomorrow at seven." He told me, heading over to the opposite side of the room where the CD player was. "If you like, we could practice together?" And just like that, I snapped out of my daze.

 

"Yah, I don't think so." I sneered, flicking my long pony tail over my shoulder before stomping out of the room, my head held high.

 

I did not need help practicing, especially from an arrogant trainee like him! Giving me advice, as if I needed it!

 

-------

 

"Kim Jong In oppas looking at you!" Min muttered under her breath. I didn't bother looking up, though could feel my cheeks heat up.

 

"So?" I commented, spooning some more seaweed soup into my mouth. The canteens food really wasn't that bad...

 

"Ugh, you really piss me off sometimes." Min sighed, pushing away her untouched salad. "He's hot, and I heard from Sang Kim he's just broken up with his girlfriend."

 

"Which one?" 

 

"He only ever has one!" Min sounded offended, so I finally looked up at her expression. She looked upset. "He only ever dates one girl at a time, he's not like that - Like the others." I lowered my spoon slowly. 

 

"Uh... You okay?" I mumbled awkwardly. 

 

Min and I were alike in our so called 'coldness' and apparent 'lack of outward emotion' so it was very confusing to see Min getting so upset. Angry, sure, she sowed her anger a lot but this... I wasn't used to this and found myself glancing around nervously for help. Meand emotional people just did not mix.

 

"Just don't talk about him like that." She muttered, turning her face away. There was a tense silence before she finally looked back towards me, her expression smug. "Want me to divert his attention away from you? It wouldn't be difficult, since i'm way better looking." She asked with an easy smirk.

 

I scoffed, secretly relieved she has gone back to her usual self. "Knock yourself out." I offered, before returning to my soup.

 

There was no way I as going to admit to Min, of all people, that the reason he was looking at he was probably because he pitied me for falling so much. No doubt he was amusing himself, thinking about it and felt sorry for me. No... It would be better if she thought he liked me - at least that way I had a valid reason for outwardly disliking him, since Min knew I hated it when people fawned over me, especially boys. 

 

"Noona!" I rolled my eyes at the voice, but looked up to see a newish Trainee, Choi Yoon heading towards our table. She shot me a nasty look before turning towards Min with adoration. "The American girl is over there. Shall we have a bit of fun with her?" She asked, with a vicious smile directed towards a table at the far side of the canteen.

 

I followed where she was looking at got my first glance at the foreigner. 

 

She had long blond hair, natural too, which reached her waist in soft waves. Her skin was a creamy white and she wore a black vest top, three quarter black sweat pants and was talking easily with another girl, who I recognised as Kim Jun, a very low Trainee who I knew from rumours wasn't doing so well in her studies or dance lessons. Next to the foreigner herself was Hae Jung, and I felt my eyes narrow.

 

"Um..." Min faltered, assessing me. I looked away indifferently from the foreigner and Hae Jung and took a sip of my bottle of water. My indifference was what Min was hoping for. "Sure! That Has Jung is there, too." She grinned. The pair cackled and Min took her leave from the table to approach the foreigner.

 

I felt a small pang of guilt.

 

I knew Min looked up to me and that all i would have had to do is tell her to back off and she would - Well, at least from doing anything herself directly, anyhow. But honestly, this was for the girls own good. Entering this business meant you had to be ready for backlash, especially during Trainee days. Trainees, in particular the girl ones, were vicious and determined to debut and did everything in their power to destroy others. Min was one of the best at this, and if that girl couldn't handle the pressure of Min bullying her, she wouldn't be able to handle future press, fan and critics starting on her. It took strength, determination and a hard as nails backbone to survive even the Trainee years - I knew that better than anyone.  

 

Pushing my half eaten bowl of soup away I got up from my table and left the canteen, sliding my phone out of my duffle bag as I did so. I had a text from Ji-Yong, and I felt my mood immediately lift.

 

» GD: hey girl, heard about the StarGirlz debut... you ok?

 

My heart squeezed in dread. So, the girls had been chosen. I felt like I was going to be sick.

 

» Me: kekeke I'm fine! It was just one opportunity - there will be loads more, I'm sure. How's you? 

 

As I waited for a reply I made my way quickly towards the training room I had booked and set up my iPod dock, selecting the same practice song from yesterday. Putting my phone next to the dock I got myself into position and began my session, working hard until  I was once again coated in sweat and my lungs were burning.

 

I fell seven more times until I screamed in fury, sprawled on the ground and breathing hard.

 

"You've not taken my advice, I see." I scowled and threw the speaker a glare.

 

"Who asked you?" I demanded, hurling myself to my feet. Kim Jong-in stepped further into the room, his hands shoved in his pockets in a laid back fashion.

 

"Nobody, I suppose." He relented, heading towards my docking station. He glanced at the song curiously before restarting it.

 

I stubbornly ignored the first cue and started him down instead.

 

"This is definitely my practice time." I told him stubornly. He smiled and lifted his finger to his lip, nibbling on it.

 

"I know." He nodded. "I just thought I'd come see if you'd nailed that move."

 

"As you can see, I haven't." She sighed, the anger leaving me in a puff. "But I will... I definitely will." He started at me a moment before breaking into laughter.

 

"You're determined, that's for sure!" He chuckled. "Seriously though... Let me help you." Immediately, I shook my head.

 

"I need to do this on my own." 

 

"Relying on others doesn't mean you're weak, you know." My mouth popped open at his words, a chill creeping down my spine. It was as though he'd read my mind, and hearing it said back to me scared me. I diverted my eyes quickly.

 

"It's not that!" I lied quickly. "I just... Want to do this by my own strength." That part wasn't a lie. Jong-in nodded his head in understanding.

 

"I know that feeling." He admitted. "But sometimes, it's okay to lean on others for support. Obviously nobody can do this for you, it's still all by your own skill, right?"

 

My breath hitched. He had a point... But why...?

 

"Why are you doing this?" I demanded. He looked surprised.

 

"Doing what?"

 

"Helping me... Well, trying too. Why bother?" He seemed to consider it for a moment. We both fell silent, studying one another with the beat of the dance track playing in the background.

 

"Because I know what it's like to be on such a high pedestal." He spoke at last. "When you're in the a high class of trainees, SM puts so much pressure on you to be perfect, to hurry up and debut. Others feel jealous, and though they're so friendly to your face, you know they're not really happy for you, that they don't really want you to succeed. Essentially... You're alone."

 

I swallowed thicky. 

 

"I know that feeling, and I know how difficult it is to ask for help when everyone thinks you see them as below you. At least this way, we can practice together, right?" He went on with a shrug. I my dry lips and considered it for a moment.

 

"Yeah." i mumbled at last. "I guess we could." His grin was huge.

 

"Great! Let's start with this dance move right? So when you're coming up to the-"

 

And just like that... I found myself with a practice partner - if a slightly unwanted one.

 

 

----

 

 

"Ah, that practice was brutal." Min sighed as we left the practice room. I nodded in agreement, just as a brushed past us, causing Min to sneer.

 

"In a rush to meet your foreigner friend?" She called out to a flushed Hae Jung, who needed bother to turn around. She seemed preoccupied searching through her bag for something. 

 

"Why bother?" Ae-Ni signed, walking behind us. "Hae Jung always seems in her own world these days."

 

"Aish! That girl pisses me off!" Min seethed, glaring daggers towards Hae Jung. 

 

"Why?" I asked calmly. "Because she actually has talent?" They all stared at me, stunned, and I felt my heart beat pick up. What the Hell was I doing, defending her? I cleared my throat. "If anyone should be your target I'd have thought it would be the foreigner herself. She's the one who doesn't deserve to be here. At least Hae Jung's Korean." I reasoned quickly. 

 

"Hana's right." Junnie agreed. "Hae Jung may be an annoying pest, but at least she's not American." Min seemed to consider this a moment as we made outer way towards the changing rooms.

 

"Yes..." She spoke at last. "At least Hae Jung's not a foreigner. Hana's right, we need to change our target. Hae Jung is an eye sore, but that foreigner..." She curled her lip. "She has no right to disgrace SMA's halls with her filthy presence."

 

"Are you talking about the foreigner Young Callie?" We all turned to see fellow trainee, Ji Hee catching up to us. "I've heard she sells her body, and that's the only reason she got into this industry." She shrugged. 

 

Min's expression suddenly turned blank, which was never a good sign. I could practically see the horns appearing on her head.

 

"Oh?" She asked innocently. "That explains a lot. I mean, I've seen her on dates with older men." She noted. My stomach twisted at the cruel lie and I shot Min a look of annoyance, which she didn't catch. She was too busy gossiping. 

 

"So it's true!" Ji Hee gasped, horrified. We were now stood in the changing rooms and the girls were gathering quite a lot of attention. Slowly I approached my locked and began to change into a clean set of workout clothing, listening to the girls gossip whilst keeping my distance. 

 

"We'll it must be." Min answered, shaking her head. "How disgusting!"

 

"That's not true." I looked towards the very angry Hae Jung. "Callie is not a e!" 

 

"Says the trainee sleeping with teacher to forward herself!" Ae-Ni piped up, crossing her arms. All the girls seemed to mirror her posture and I felt the tension in the dressing room thicken. 

 

"Excuse me?" Hae Jung muttered, stunned. 

 

"You heard her!" Junnie piped up. "How you suddenly went from a lowly, paying customer to a Trainee in what? A year? Everyone knows what you did to get here!" 

 

"I didn't!" Hae Jung protested, looking suddenly very pale as she rushed towards Min and her group near the door. "I'd never-"

 

"Then it's a coincidence that you're friends with that e foreigner and just happened to have advanced groups?" Ji Hee asked. The girls all mumbled in shock. 

 

Hae Jung looked like she was about to be sick.

 

"I would never do such a thing!" She protested. "Neither would Cal-"

 

"Lyings a horrid habit." Min reminded her sweetly. "In fact... I'm a little uncomfortable being in the presence of such a bare faced liar!" The girls all cheered in agreement. 

 

"I'm not lyi-"

 

"Just leave will you?" Min sighed, looking bored. "Can't you see your presence is offensive? It would be better if you just dropped out all together Hae Jung, along with that dirty foreigner friend of yours!"

 

"We haven't done anything wrong!" Hae Jun screamed, her eyes filling with tears. "None of what were accused of is true!"

 

"Don't believe her lies girls." Min spoke loudly, her voice deadly calm. "In fact, don't even acknowledge her at all. She's not worth our attention." Giving Hae Jung one last scowl, Min shoved past her towards her locker, a smile on her face. Others pushed past a motionless Hae Jung, all gossiping openly about her.

 

Slamming my locker shut I shouldered my gym bag just as Min reached the bench. She gave me a bright smile.

 

"There we go. I have a feeling that Hae Jung won't be a bother to you again, Hana." I turned slowly from my way towards the door and took in Min's smug expression. 

 

"I never said Hae Jung was a bother to me." I reminded her loudly. The girls all stopped changing to watch us curiously, and I noticed Hae Jung had turned towards me, her eyes wide. "In fact, I never said Hae Jung was anything to me, because she's not." I pointed out truthfully, causing Min to stare at me with wide eyes. 

 

She knew i was going against her judgement on Hae Jung, and was obviously being to panic. It wasn't that I liked Hae Jung, in fact I disliked her quite a bit - but what I refused to have is Min use me as an excuse to bully.

 

Ae-Ni laughed, breaking the silence. 

 

"Don't be silly, Hana. Didn't you once say you disliked Hae Jung?" She asked quickly.

 

I shrugged in response, which caused Min to leap up from the bench and approach me, her expression worried.

 

"What are you saying, Hana?" She demanded. "Are you defending Hae Jung?" 

 

"No." I answered slowly, considering my words. "I'm saying don't use me as an excuse. If you want to taunt the girl then so be it. Just don't use me as the reason."

 

"So you're not defending her." Min clarified, seeming to ignore my point. I shrugged again.

 

"I couldn't care less what you all do." I answered truthfully, before strolling from the room, right past a frozen Hae Jung, who looked like she was going to be sick. 

 

Because I had another training session to attend too.

 

"You're late." Jong-in pointed out with amusement as I entered the training room. I rolled my eyes.

 

"Yes yes I know, I'll work extra hard in response, how about that?" He laughed openly and considered it for a moment.

 

"I suppose I can forgive you... As long as you buy the snacks today." I tried to look offended.

 

"Ugh, fine." I muttered, pretending to be annoyed. He laughed again and I smiled as we both warmed up and chose a song to practice too.

 

Ever since our first proper training session together, three days ago, I had really started to like Jong-In and I could see why everyone admired him. He was considerate, calm, caring, funny and most of all - he truly was a good dancer. In just three days of practicing together I felt I had really come a long way. It helped too that he was so easy to talk too, and didn't get frustrated every time I made a mistake. 

 

The session soon flew by as it normally did, and an hour and a half later i was as Coming back from my snack run to the supermarket. Opening the door gently I peeked in, wondering why it was so quiet. Normally he had the music blaring and would be practicing alone until I got back, but this time, he wasn't. Instead of dancing, he was sprawled on the floor with a textbook reading intently. 

 

At my approach he looked up. His cheeks slightly flushed.

 

"Ah, I didn't hear you come in..." He mumbled, shoving the book behind him. I frowned at the suspicious action and made my war towards him.

 

"What are you hiding?" I demanded. He averted his gaze.

 

"Nothing." 

 

"Oh really? So I imagined that textbook just then?" I muttered, dropping the plastic bag filled with snacks as I got closer. I glanced up at me with wide eyes.

 

"What are you-"

 

"Let me see!" I shouted, making a grab for the book behind him. He scooted back and held me at length with his foot to my shoulder.

 

"I'm telling you it's nothing!" He told me frantically, struggling to hold me back. I knocked his foot out of the way and made a grab for the book, just as he tried to scoot back again.

 

I crashed down on top of him and reached for the book, which he held outward above his head. As I inched closer he wrapped his legs around my waist to halt my movements, causing me to glare at him.

 

"It's just a book!" I gasped, out of breath, a small smile playing on my lips. Really, who'd have thought he'd be so defensive? The opportunity to had been too great to miss up, and by the looks of him - he hadn't expected me to be playful.

 

"It's... My book." He spluttered back, just as winded. We stayed still a moment, each catching our breaths before there was suddenly a noise at the practice room door.

 

We both turned to see a stunned fellow Trainee, Park Chan Yeol staring at us from the doorway, his expression stunned. 

 

"Uhh... I just came to see if you were coming back to the dorm yet." He mumbled towards Jong-In, before his eyes flickered to mine, where he stared at me a moment, almost as though he was judging me. "But I can see you're busy, so i'll go back alone. Uh... Bye." His face broke out in a grin and as he left, and I could hear him laughing outside as the door closed behind him.

 

"Just what was that idiot imagining?" I demanded furiously, annoyed by his sniggering outside.

 

Jong-In cleared his throat, and I looked down at him curiously. He looked amused. 

 

"Well you are uh... On top of me." He pointed out. 

 

Oh no...

 

I tensed and sprung off him quickly, my cheeks flaming. Dear God, what was I doing? Just because I tolerated this idiot now didn't mean I had to throw myself at him? Turning away from his laughing expression as he got up I made my way towards my iPod dock and unplugged it, shoving it into my duffle bag. 

 

"Hey, where you going?" He asked from behind me. I avoided looking at him.

 

"I'm heading back to my dorm." 

 

"Eh, why now? We haven't eaten the snacks you've bought yet." 

 

"You eat them, I'm not hungry." I muttered, rushing from the room without another word.

 

I had never been more embarrassed in my whole life. Just what had I been thinking, throwing myself at him? I just didn't act like that, not with my so called friends, not even with my sister. I was Lee Haneul, high level SM entertainment Trainee, a respectable after model and (hopefully) a soon to be debutee. I did not throw myself at people, I didn't even joke around with people. I was a serious, dedicated Trainee and I would not let anybody distract me from my goal.

 

Especially not womanisers such as Jong-In.

 

 

---

 

Authors note:

 

Haha what did you all think of this chapter?? Features some EXO boys in their predubut days :D hehe, is there any Idols you'd like to see featured, or any Idols you think should come into play? I already have plans for Jong Yong Hwa and SHINee's Taemin (in regards to Kai - Jong-In) , things should be getting reaaaaaal interesting from now on,kekeke. 

 

Sorry for any spelling mistakes and such, having to use my iPad and I hate touch screens to type ;___;