SuLay- Hold Me With Your Everything

Yixing is pissed.

Zhang Yixing considers himself to be someone who is generally very calm and poised. He likes to think about the brighter side of things and is almost always willing to give second chances. Getting mad is the last thing he’d find himself doing because it’s just not his character.

And then the love of his life breaks up with him and cuts off all forms of contact one day and he is nothing but upset.

In his past relationships, Yixing has never really had a problem with the other person. They just simply grew out of their relationship and break ups has never been a problem for him.

But he has a problem with a certain Kim Junmyeon, who he was sure to be the one.

Pouting to himself, Yixing watches as the objects outside of the bus blends together and all becomes a blur. Remembering back to a few days before, he feels his eyes burn as he recalls the last time he saw Junmyeon.

“Let’s break up.”

Yixing looked up from his book on recipes that he is planning to cook for Junmyeon later that week. He was confused because he thought that they were both doing rather well and were going on their third year, thus explains the cook book.

He didn’t intend for his voice crack, but it did. “What?”

“I think we should end this.”

“But why?” Getting up from the place on his bed, he moved closer to Junmyeon, but stopped when the other boy took a step back. He tried hard to look for any signs that could be hints to him on Junmyeon’s face, but ended with nothing because Junmyeon’s was facing down at the ground.

“I’m just-” Junmyeon pauses and finally looks up at Yixing with pained eyes. He looked tired with bags under his eyes and Yixing realized that this had been on Junmyeon’s mind for a really long time. “-not good enough.”

And then that was it. Junmyeon left and walked out of Yixing’s life, leaving the Chinese boy confused and heartbroken.

-

The emptiness of not having Junmyeon by his side pained him to no end and it makes him wonder how he lasted a whole week without going straight to Junmyeon’s place and demand a proper explanation from the angelic boy.

Because being “not good enough” didn’t cut it with him.

It doesn’t take him long before he finds himself standing in front of Junmyeon’s door, angrily pressing at the doorbell. The faint sound echoes through the other side of the door and each time it rings without the door opening, Yixing can feel his temper boil.

By the twenty seventh ring, the door finally creaks to an open and he sees a pair of eyes peeking out at him. Shoving the door away to let him in, but of course, the ing chain lock is in the way.

“Open the door.”

“We have nothing to do with each other anymore.”

The nerve of Kim Junmyeon.

“Open this ing door right now or I swear to god I will kick it down.”

The door closes in his face and Yixing does attempt to kick the door down. But to no avail does he accomplish anything because three minutes later, he is still standing outside of Junmyeon’s door.

“Junmyeon-ah, please. Please just talk to me. Whatever it is, we’ll work on it. If there’s something you don’t like about me, I’ll try hard to change it, so please, just let me in. I don’t want us to end like this. I know you love me and I love you too. Don’t let it end this way. Don’t let us end this way.”

He receives silence in return and Yixing is done.

Giving the door one last kick, Yixing turns his back to it. “Fine! You want us to end this, right? Alright. It’s over!”

Tears descend down Yixing’s cheeks and runs over his dimple as he walks away from sweet, adorably, honest, Kim Junmyeon’s house. Each step taken weighs down his heart and Yixing just can’t understand why things turned out the way they did.

-

Junmyeon stood with his back against his front door. He listens for Yixing’s fading footsteps and when he can no longer hear them, he slumps to the floor, knees pulled into his chest. He buries his face into his knees and takes in a deep breath.

It’s too hard.

Too damn hard.

Letting the person you love the most in the world walk away from you is just too hard for him to handle. His head throbs as Yixing’s face flashes in his mind and he leans back into his door, eyes closed while he remembers every feature of Yixing’s face. His brown eyes, high nose, bright smile and adorable dimple. That dimple. It brings a smile to his face when he thinks about how he always wanted to kiss Yixing whenever his dimple showed. It showed when he smiles, frowns, and even cries.

“I know you love me and I love you too. Don’t let it end this way. Don’t let us end this way.”

Wincing a bit from Yixing’s voice ringing in his head, Junmyeon sighs. There is nothing truer than Yixing’s words. His feelings for Yixing have always been the same since the first day they met back in high school when Yixing transferred to Seoul from China. Somewhere along their journey of study sessions and after school cake breaks, Yixing had fallen for him too.

They are perfect.

They were perfect.

The sound of his ticking clock grows loud and eerie in his empty apartment. He watches as the sound of each tick grows louder and louder in his ears and he remembers a conversation that he had with Yixing when they first started dating.

“Clocks are amazing.”

Junmyeon looked down at Yixing, who was laying comfortably in his arms. Junmyeon was still living with his parent’s then, so they had to stay quiet, so just being in each other’s arms became their favorite past time.

“And why do you say that?” He couldn’t help the low chuckle that escaped his lips as he played with Yixing’s brown locks.

Yixing leant deeper into Junmyeon and happily gave his explanation. “Well, no matter where minute hand goes, it always ends up back to the hour hand at some point.”

Junmyeon stared at his clock for a few seconds because he had never thought of it in such a way.

“I hope we can be like that.” Yixing plays with Junmyeon’s fingers a little bit before fully intertwining them. “I know we’ll have problems with each other in the future and that we’ll argue, but I hope that no matter what happens or what we fight about, we’ll always end up back with each other.”

Junmyeon smiled at the thought of it and it sounded pretty good. He pecked Yixing on the head and pulled the beautiful boy in his arms closer to his body.

“I like that sound of that.

It hits him like a brick to the face when he realizes just how much of a fool he has been. Yixing loves him and he surely loves Yixing too. So what is he doing sitting on his but when he could be running to Yixing.

Quickly scurrying to his feet, Junmyeon yanks his door open and runs toward the way Yixing left. He reprimands himself as he makes his way down his front lawn, nearing the front gate. He turns to the right and almost fails to notice the figure crouching down in front of his house with their face in their knees.

“Yixing!”

Yixing looks up at Junmyeon, expression shocked and face full of tears and all the other fluids that comes with crying. His eyes are bright red and Junmyeon wants to punch himself in the face for making the love of his life cry. He doesn’t let Yixing speak a word before he pulls the sobbing boy into his embrace.

“What took you so long?!” Yixing cries, grasping tightly onto Junmyeon’s shirt.

“I’m sorry, so sorry.” Is all that Junmyeon can say because he really is sorry for being stupid and for almost letting someone so precious to him go.

“Pabo.” The sobs only grow louder. “Nǐ shìgè dà shǎguā!”*

Junmyeon nods his agreement and tries hard to calm Yixing down by rubbing comforting circles on his back.

He needs to fix things.

-

Yinxing’s tears have stopped and they are both sitting on Junmyeon’s love seat. They are both facing each other, hands intertwined.

“I want an explanation.”

And an explanation Yixing will get.

“It’s just-” Junmyeon stops to look at Yixing’s face who is staring intently at him, waiting kind of patiently for an answer. He takes in a deep breath and starts. “I just didn’t feel like I deserved you. I mean, you’re so amazing and everything about you is just so pure and beautiful that I was afraid that I’d be a stain. You’re just so amazing and deserve everything that you desire. I’m just a normal person who is struggling with getting through life and I don’t want to be the one to hold you down.”

Silence falls upon them and Junmyeon is searching Yixing’s face, which is currently 'blank, for any signs of emotion.

And then the Chinese boy is hitting him with a pillow till he loses his balance and falls onto his back. Yixing is on top of him a second later, the pillow now replaced by Yixing’s fists, thought the hits still feels like he’s being hit by the pillow.

“You stupid idiot! Biggest idiot in the world! Of the century!”

Junmyeon finally catches hold of Yixing’s hands and he then notices that Yixing is crying again. He can’t help the urge to pull Yixing into his arms and hold him tight.

“Don’t you ever bad mouth my boyfriend like that ever again!” Yixing pushes himself up and looks down at Junmyeon. Cupping Junmyeon’s face with his hands, Yixing showers the boy beneath him with many loving kisses. “Kim Junmyeon is the sweetest and most loving person in the whole world. He’s so kind and has the heart of an angel! So don’t ever think you’re not good enough or I’m really going to get mad!”

Taken aback by Yixing’s words, all his insecurities are wiped away and in its place is the reassurance that they really are perfect for each other and that he is sure they’d be together for as long as eternity lasts.

“It won’t happen again.” Junmyeon promises and locks it away, deep into his heart, where he’ll keep it in a safe place.

They stay staring into each other’s eyes for a long moment before slowly leaning in to connect their lips.

Whispering onto Junmyeon’s lips, Yixing gives Junmyeon a demand that he’ll willingly do forever.

“Hold me with your everything.”

It seriously has been too long! Hello my lovelies! I'm sorry for not posting this sooner, but I have been so busy with college (though that's over now) and with spazzing over EXO's comeback! Baby. Yes. That song is so good. But here it is! SuLay to feed our SuLay feels! <3 Please do comment, subscribe and upvote!