“Niel” no answer “Niel, what are you doing? Let go.” He tried to push him back but Niel snuggled closer.

“No” his answer was fierce and absolute.

“Niel, please I can’t handle this”

“NO! I’m sorry I pushed you away. It hurt to be so close to you but know I couldn’t have you” Niel whispered.

“What, this isn’t funny Niel” Niel raised his head, his eyes staring into L’joe’s.

“I love you too” to prove it he brought his lips up to meet L’joe’s in a soft yet demanding kiss.

It took a few seconds for L’joe to respond to the kiss. It was slow and experimental. After the kiss ended Niel stayed cuddled up to L’joe, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t relax. His emotions were still all over the place. He didn’t really know how to take in Niel’s confession. He was afraid to truly believe it. After the week he’s had it’s hard to think positive about anything.

The following week things had went back to some sort of normal. It you could really call it that. Niel and L’joe were still very awkward but at least it wasn’t like their previous interactions. Niel didn’t really know what to do so he just acted as normal as he could. One day he was eating with Cap at lunch while the others were out with different schedules.

“What’s wrong” Cap asked as he watched Niel pick at his food.

“I screwed up didn’t I” Cap stayed quite. He knew exactly what Niel was talking about. As much as he dreaded it the topic was inevitable.

“I tried to fix things, I-I told him I love him but nothing has changed. I guess that means he rejects it” Niel said dropping his head to the table trying not to cry.

“Don’t think that way, just give him some time he had a really bad week. I know you weren’t too hot yourself but damn, L’joe took you shunning him pretty hard.” Cap said trying to ease the tension of the subject.

“I, I know, I’ve been too afraid to bring it up again. Whenever I try he avoids the topic like he doesn’t want to be bothered by it” Cap sighed in understanding Niel’s dilemma but also knowing L’joe’s caution.

“Did Chunji tell you anything about the other week? I know you were too zoned out really notice much.” Cap asked wondering if he really understood what L’joe went through.

“Aside from Chunji almost ripping my head off, he screamed at me about L’joe not eating or sleeping much.” Cap sighed hating to have to do this but knowing it was for his own good.

“Chunji was exaggerating Niel” Niel sighed nodding his head.

“I figured, he was over exaggerating”

“He was under exaggerating” Cap paused “He didn’t eat at all, maybe once every few days and that’s only when Chunji practically shoved it down his throat.” He flinched as Niel dropped his chopsticks, grabbed his arm and squeezed to the point of pain, disbelief written all over his face. Cap ignored it and continued “His insomnia got so bad that Chunji started slipping him sleeping pills.” Niel let out a whimper floored by the new information. He hoped Cap was done but sadly he began to speak again.

“One day Ricky and Changjo carried him into the dorm because he had practiced nonstop until he was so sore he could barely stand, let alone walk. Then that day I went off on you two he had a mental breakdown, locked himself in the bathroom and started crying and we…”

“MINSOO! Please stop” he begged cutting him off, not being able to bear hearing any more.

“Sorry” Cap whispered, “I just thought you should know”

“Why didn’t you tell me before” he questioned letting go of Cap’s arm to bury his face in his hands.

“Niel, you…you stop talking to us, you stopped talking period. What were we supposed to do? You spent most of your time in your room and L’joe did his best to put on a brave front.”

“I’m such a up” Niel groaned and slammed his head on the table.

“Niel just give him time, he’ll come around. He’s still trying to sort himself out.” Cap said reassuringly while petting Niel’s hair and began to eat his food again. They finished their lunch in silence, as Niel tried to pull himself back together.

L’joe, Changjo, and Chunji were eating lunch as well they had just finished their individual schedules and decided to meet up. At first there was idle chitchat and then it went really quiet. Chunji put his food down and just stared at L’joe making him uncomfortable.

“Chunji, why are you looking at me like that?” L’joe said after a while, completely irritated.

“What’s up with you and Niel, I mean at least you guys are talking but it’s been so awkward” Chunji said bluntly, never being one to beat around the bush. He was met with only silence so he continued. “Niel told me that he loves you” Chunji didn’t miss L’joe’s flinch when he said love. He shook his head and took a sip on his drink.

“He told you too didn’t he?” L’joe only nodded.

“Then why all the awkwardness” Changjo asked completely confused.

“I’m scared” he huffed “I’m just scared of believing it” he admitted for the first time out loud.

“But”

“Can we just stop talking about this please” he begged. He really didn’t want to keep talking about his relationship with Niel. He’ll admit he keeps Niel at arm’s length, and every time Niel tries to talk to him about “them” he chickens out.

When they returned home Niel and Cap were on the couch watching a movie. Chunji, Changjo and L’joe walked over to then and stood behind the couch. Chunji leaned over and kissed Cap on the cheek.

“How long have you guys been back” he asked standing straight again.

“Not long, we would have been back earlier but Niel had to have some ice-cream. Greedy .” Cap joked nudging him. Everyone began to laugh and L’joe reached out to ruffle Niel’s hair like he used to, but before he could he snapped out of it and retrieved his hand. His memories of Niel flinching away from him every time they touched, still fresh. He continued laughing glad no one noticed his actions, only he was wrong. Niel had stopped laughing. He could see L’joe’s reflection in the TV, not missing a single thing. He’d really hurt L’joe, and he didn’t know how or even if he could fix it.

After a while L’joe went to his room to go to sleep. Even though they are so awkward around each other, having Niel talking to him again helped him sleep better. A few minutes after he’d fallen asleep Niel crept into his room. He tiptoed to the other side of the room and settled in the far corner on the floor. From there he had a clear view of L’joe’s sleeping face. He shouldn’t have come in here but, it’s the only way for him to look at L’joe without feeling all the tension between them. He continued to sit in the corner as silent tears ran down his face. He felt so hopeless.

After the movie ended Changjo went to his room to check on Niel but we wasn’t in there. He went back to the living room in a mild panic.

“Guys where is Niel? He’s not in our room.” he said

“When the hell did he leave we’ve been sitting here the whole time, and why didn’t he tell us” Cap said rising to his feet. Before anyone could make another move the door burst open as Ricky can in loud as hell. As usual. Everyone just stared blankly at him, his timing horrible.

“What?” he asked completely confused. They ignored him and Chunji went up to his room to wake up L’joe so he could help find Niel.

“Hey wak-” he stopped once he had the door fully open and saw Niel in the corner asleep in a ball. The others came up behind him and saw the same thing. L’joe was still asleep so Chunji motioned for Cap to get Niel. He crept over to Niel and gripped him tight and hauled him into his arms. Once Niel was securely in his arms Cap could see the tear stains on his cheeks.

‘Why are they doing this to each other?’ After Niel was safely tucked in his bed. The rest of the group gathered in the kitchen.

“Seriously, what are we gonna do about them, it’s painful to watch” Cap spoke up knowing things were headed in a bad direction if they stayed the same.

“You’re right. First Niel was unintentionally hurting L’joe, now L’joe’s doing the same to Niel.” Chunji agreed being drawn into Cap’s embrace.

“But what can we do?” Changjo spoke up after a minute of silence.

“How about we trick them into going on a date” Ricky suggested back hugging Changjo. Everyone looked towards him with questioning glances, so he continued.

“Let’s make them a dinner, set it up in the practice room, and lock them in there.” Leave it to Ricky to think up something like that.

“That could work, how about tomorrow” Chunji asked.

Changjo shook his head. “No we have practice for Immortal Song tomorrow. What about Friday?”

They all agreed and began making the plans for Friday. They managed to get all of Friday free and started the day later than usual, giving them a few extra hours of sleep. They woke Niel up first and sent him to the mall to find a hat that Cap wanted. It would take him a few hours because almost every store in the mall sold hats. After Niel was distracted, they woke L’joe up and sent him to the grocery store for next week’s stock. L’joe wasn’t the fastest shopper so that gave them plenty of time.

They spent most of the afternoon cooking and then setting up the practice room. Once everything was ready they set out to find L’joe and Niel. They were dragged to the practice studio and pushed into a dark room.

“What the hell guys” L’joe screamed not liking the situation. Niel tried to leave the room, only to be blocked by the others.

“Oh no you don’t” they pushed him back inside making his stumble and fall. “Have fun” was the last thing they heard before the door closed and locked. L’joe found the lights and tuned them on groaning when he glanced around the room. A table sat in the middle of the room covered in different food along with candles perched in the middle. Niel still on the floor glanced over and saw the same thing and got to his feet. He looked over at L’joe sighed.

“Since we’re trapped in here we might as well eat.” Niel said sitting down at the table, L’joe following close behind. They ate quietly, both knowing full well why they were trapped there. Niel finally got up the courage to speak.

“I’m sorry” he whispered catching L’joe’s attention. “Cap told me about what you went through the other week, and it’s all my fault.

“Niel”

“Don’t even try to lie, it my fault. I pushed you away. I was being a coward, instead of just telling you how I feel. Telling you that I love you” L’joe flinched at the word love, just like he had with Chunji and Niel didn’t miss it either. He sighed and dug really deep within himself to find the resolve not to cry and keep talking.

“I pushed you away because doing fan service with you became too hard. I have had feelings for you for over a year.” He paused and watched as L’joe’s eyes widened.

“We didn’t do nearly as much fan service with each other as we have been. Having you so close to me, hugging me all the time made it hard for me. The line between fan service and what your feelings were for me were becoming to blurry. I had to stop you. Unfortunate the only way I could think of was to push you away. Instead of help things I only hurt you to the point that you won’t even touch me. I can’t say I blame you.” Niel finished fighting with all his will power not to shead any tears.

“You can’t take all the blame. I didn’t think you had any feelings for me and I was too afraid to tell you too. So I just used fan service to express my real feelings for you without having to face rejection by coming outright and telling you” he admitted.

Niel suddenly rose to his tears pooling in his eyes thretning to stream down his face, his resolve gone.

“I still hurt you” he hiccupped “And I don’t know how to fix it.”

L’joe paused any words he'd preaired to say not expecting to see Niel at the brink of tears.

Before he could make a step towards the younger her shook his head and went to a far corner and sank to the floow his knees pulled tightly against his body. L'joe followed soon after and squatted next to him attempting to soac him into looking at him.

He managed to get a hand under Niel's chin and slowly brought the brunteet's head back up. Tears were streaming down his face and he tried to get away, look away, anything he could but L'joe wasn't having any of that. He kept Niel's face firmly in his hand and porceeded to wipe the vocals tears away.

Seeing how hurt Niel is only makes Chinji's words from the other day only sting more realising that if anything he's was the one causing Niel's so much pain now like the latter had previously and that was obviously getting them nowhere. All they really ever needed to do was talk to each other, and now that they were stuck in this situation L'joe was determined to sort overything out. No more secrets, no more hiding, and no more pain.

"Don't cry Niel, I'm not mad. Yes you hurt me, but I've hurt you to." L'joe whispered while rubbin Niel's cheek soothingly. "We've both been pretty stupid the past few weeks and now that we've gotten everything out and in the open it's time to move forward." He finished as he pulled Niel to a standing position and pulled him close.

"So, we can be friend's again? Like we were?" The brunette asked wrapping his arms around L'joe and laying his head on his shoulder.

“Of course silly” his smile apparent in his voice. "We can be more than that if you like" he added.

Niel pulled back to look him in the eyes and nodded. L’joe wiped his stray tears away and brought their lips together in a satisfying slow kiss, savoring the taste of each other.

“I love you” Niel said and grinned when he was meet with a smile from L’joe instead of a flinch.

“I love you to”

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Ok so it's finally up. I hope you guys like it. Trying to find insperation for this was worse than pulling teeth. XD But i refused to leave it unfinished after all you nice people subscribed.

Let me know what you think !