ANXIETIES PART II
“No, but seriously.”
“Honey, we’ve been through this already.”
“I still don’t understand—”
“For like, eighty times.”
“Just why the hell am I playing…?” With horrified eyes, Baekhyun looks down to the long, pearly white dress he’s wearing. It has laces at the end of his short sleeves and the neckline is so low that if Baekhyun’s chest were hairy, it would’ve shown (it isn’t hairy, though, thank the Lord). With much effort, you’ve succeeded in dressing him up into this attire and also managed to strap two water balloons to his chest, making him look like he has giant tumors instead of s. It doesn’t look good, but the pretty dress makes up for it. With short, puffy sleeves that enlighten the non-existent muscles in his arms (but don’t tell him that) and a pair of soft ballet slippers that don’t exactly fit his feet, Baekhyun yells loudly, “WHY THE AM I JULIET?!”
“Hey, use your girly voice!” You scold, pinching the bridge of his nose until he shrieks like a girl he should be. “Yes, like that! Little kids out there are waiting to see a very pretty and a very lady-like Juliet Capulet, okay? And you, sounding like a creepy transgender, aren’t going to make them happy!”
“Creepy transgender, you said?” Baekhyun places his palm on his chest, dramatically sighing. “Well, I am hurt.”
“But that’s the truth.” You smile, almost sarcastically but when you remember that your husband is going to act as the freaking Juliet Capulet while you become his Romeo, that little smile you have on your face becomes more real and even wider.
“Why are you grinning so creepily like that?” Baekhyun asks, scoffing in displeased. “I’m the Creepy Transgender, all right? Stop taking my job.”
“I love you, you know that, right?” you say, cupping his cheek and his soft skin. “It’s nice of you wanting to come back to this place and even participate in this play just to make those kids happy. After our last time here, I didn’t think you would want to come back seeing a bunch of elderly trying to ignore their grandchildren, but here you are and I’m so proud of you, Baekgu.”
“Oh shut up,” he says, blushing faintly as he swats your hand away. “Let’s just get this over with.”
“I mean it, you know?” you whisper, kissing his lips once. “You’re amazing.”
His blush goes deeper and you secretly give yourself a high-five in your mind because yeah, you just got Byun Baekhyun wrapped around your fingers. He’ll do as you say.
“Oh my God,” Baekhyun whines a moment later, closing his eyes as he deeply frowns. His dress is beginning to itch and he has had enough of you trying to style his long wig properly. “What did I ever do to deserve this kind of pain? Can I scratch my ?”
“No,” you reply, laughing a little as you fix his bangs to the side, and clip it with a cute, heart-shaped hairclip. “You married me, Byun Baekhyun, so you gotta put up with my .”
“If I had known that I would get myself humiliated in public like this, I would’ve reconsidered my decisions on marrying you.”
“That’s not funny.”
“SO IS THIS DRESS, GODDAMN IT!”
You sigh and lay your hands against his shoulders, giving them a squeeze as you gaze deeply into his eyes. “Baek, if you do this for me—if you promise me that you’ll do and say everything to make the kids believe you’re the Juliet Capulet—I will love you forever.”
Baekhyun looks taken aback before he begins to scowl. “You mean you don’t intend to love me forever now? Wow, was I being lied to back then when we were on the altar? I am hurt, so terribly hurt and you are a very, very mean witch—”
“Will you just shut up?” you giggle, shutting him up with a small kiss to his lips. “I do love you, Baek, and of course I will love you forever. It’s just… Hmm, how do I put this simply…” You give him a meaningful smirk as you sweep nonexistent dust on his shoulder, staring seductively at him. “I will do anything for you,” you say, leaning in to whisper in his ear, “Mr. Grey.”
Baekhyun’s jaw drops to the ground. He starts blushing from head-to-toe, still can’t quite believe that his fantasy is about to realize in real life. He swallows hard when his imagination runs wild.
Let’s take you back to where it first started.
Ever since Baekhyun knew about his friend Kim Joonmyun reading Fifty Shades of Grey and going wild about the whole dominant-submissive things, your husband began to show much interests in that book as well. One day, you caught him looking sternly at his phone’s screen with his earphones strapped to his ears and you thought he was watching (because really, if there was one thing he could fully focus his concentration on, it was either music or lesbian , and clearly he wasn’t looking at Beethoven’s concert video at that moment).
“Baek, I’ve told you,” you said, as you walked into the living room with your Pregnancy-for-Dummies book in hand. “If you’re going to watch two blonde girls having , at least do it when your wife’s not home.”
“Huh?” Baekhyun unplugged one of his earphones from his ear, looking up to you from his favorite spot on the couch. “Oh, this? I’m not watching lesbian .”
You squinted your eyes suspiciously. “The same rule applies to regular too, you know.”
“Will you relax?” Baekhyun scowled. “I’m not watching .”
Though you never admitted it out loud, you always thought that slightly annoyed Baekhyun was adorable in a way and that made you smile a little. “Then what are you doing?”
Baekhyun turned around and focused back to his phone. “Researching.”
“Researching?” you repeated, almost laughing. You raised your fingers to make air quotes. “Since when do you ‘research’ about stuff?”
“Since I read Fifty Shades of Grey and realized that my bedroom skills are lacking.” Then Baekhyun lifted a book he’d been hiding (from Chanyeol, maybe) under the couch’s cushion. “This book is now my bible. You should probably bow to it too.”
“That’s it. I’m filing a divorce.”
“Aaw, how easy of you to dismiss our love, Sweetheart. I can’t say I’m not hurt.”
“Don’t even dare to bring the word ‘love’ in this conversation, you . We’re talking about you being irritatingly dominant in bed and do inhuman things to me.”
“But I’m always dominant in bed,” he claimed proudly, sporting his smug smirk. “And as for the—”
“’Always dominant’?” You scoffed, folding your arms on your chest. “I don’t think that’s what happened last night, Mr. Oh-Sweetheart-Please-Let-Me-Come.”
Baekhyun gaped unattractively, blood rushing to his head. He then sent his gaze back to you but it resembled more of a glare. “You know I only let you top and be dominant for once because I feel sorry for the baby, right?” He grumbled while you rolled your eyes. “I was trying to be kind to you and yet you mocked me for it. The deal’s off, Sweetheart. No more Mr. Nice Guy.”
“Oh I’m sorry, what?” you asked, putting on your mocking face as you leaned down to pretend to hear him better. “What did you say? I couldn’t hear you over the flashback of you pleading and begging me to do things to you. Shall I repeat your words, Sweet Pea?”
Baekhyun’s nose flared but he contained his annoyed feelings well. “Well, my lovely dominating wife who just called me her ‘Sweet Pea’,” Baekhyun said with accentuation on his every word, “I’m going to ignore everything you just said and pretend that you just conversed with me about the weather. Yes, it’s lovely. Just like you, Sweet Pea.”
You threw your hands in the air. “What even—”
“Now, if you’ll excuse me. I’m gonna go to some adult shops downtown.” He stood up from the couch and put his leather jacket back on (yes, he brought his leather jacket back after leaving it in his closet for too long). “I’ll see you later, Miss Steele.”
“Baek, what are—” You didn’t get to finish your question because suddenly, Baekhyun had you pinned against the wall with your arms above your head. Your book was long forgotten, dropping with a dull thud sound as it hit the floor. He took ahold of your wrists with one hand, while his other one was on your chin, forcing your mouth wide open to receive his consuming kiss. After being treated like a fragile porcelain doll for every second after you announced your pregnancy, Baekhyun suddenly kissed you like he wanted to devour you alive and that was somehow… arousing.
“Baek—mmph!” You shut your eyes tightly when he on your lower lip, his free hand slipping under your shirt and landed provoking touches along your stomach before his lean fingers moved down to graze your hipbones. You were breathing hard against his mouth when he shoved you up and tangled your legs around his waist. He let your hands go so you could wrap your arms around his neck, balancing yourself as he nibbled at the soft skin of your neck. “Baekhyun…”
But then he suddenly backed away from the kiss, letting you go and you slid down to the floor. Your knees buckled and you almost lost your balance all together.
Baekhyun smirked that godly smirk of his and then he just… left.
And that was the beginning of how Mr. Byun has successfully transformed into Mr. Grey. He knew how much effect he has on you. How y you think he is. How he’s still the man of your dreams and fantasy even after years of marriage. He begins to have more confidence in every step, turning every innocent smile into dirty smirk, and his demanding personalities start to grow more visible and the weird part is, you don’t find them to be annoying. You find them to be… well, hot.
But when Baekhyun went home from the adult shop one day with many kinds of handcuffs, collars, and toys, you stepped away from him, screaming, “DON’T YOU GET CLOSE TO ME, YOU !” and you meant it. Since then, Baekhyun had been sleeping on his couch. It was cold and lonely and he didn’t even have Hippie-The-Hippo to accompany him because Chanyeol took him away. Poor little puppy.
You didn’t agree to the whole Fifty Shades of Grey roleplay at first—and you don’t intend to agree to it now, but for the sake of the play and the children in the nursery home, a little lie wouldn’t hurt. You know how much it makes him happy to have his fantasy visualized in real life.
“R-really?” he asks, his eyes hoping and you almost laugh at him. “You’ll be the Sub to my Dom?”
You hold yourself back from wincing. “Yes, really,” you say, kissing his cheek once. “So promise?”
Baekhyun gulps but he finally gains enough courage to say, “Promise.”
“Good,” you grin happily. “Now, turn around and let me zip up your dress, Princess.”
Baekhyun obeys your order for maximum forty seconds before he accidently looks at his own reflection in the mirror (and he sees a grown-up man, dressed up in a white dress, heavy make up, and a wavy long-haired wig on his head) and so he breaks down on the floor again. “OH MY GOD, WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!”
“Oh relax, you wimp,” you scold as you force him to sit down on the round chair near the mirror. “Lulu used to cross-dress with me all the time. It’s not a big deal.”
“ being Mr. Grey!” He complains even louder. “If what it takes to do our roleplay is me looking like a third-class hooker then—”
You shut him up with a kiss that’s hot and y enough to leave him satisfied for weeks (but who are you kidding? It’s Byun Baekhyun. He’s never going to be satisfied when it comes to ual related stuff). “I’ll make every second worth while, Baby,” you seductively say and Baekhyun’s breath hitches in his throat. That manages to shut him up a little.
“I want to cry,” he says, succumbing to your hands.
“Don’t. I just put some mascara on you.”
“Now I seriously want to cry.”
“Baek, will you stop moving? I’m trying to apply some eye shadows here!”
Baekhyun huffs loudly and pouts even more. If it weren’t because he just lost at his own game (where he was also the one who ‘invented’ the punishments), Baekhyun would’ve put on a better fight and tried to find his way out of this. But no, the truth is, he lost at playing paper-stone-scissors with you and now you get to be Romeo, while Baekhyun, on the other hand, is Juliet. Chanyeol fought against Kyungsoo and while he curled his fist and put out a stone, Kyungsoo used paper so now the shorter man will play Tybalt—Juliet’s merciless uncle—while Park Chanyeol, gets to be the nurse who follows Juliet around like a puppy—which is basically not that much of a difference when you compare it to real life because Chanyeol’s practically Baekhyun’s personal maid anyway.
“Now, pucker up your lips, Little Baekgu,” you say, restraining yourself from giggling so you won’t upset Miss Capulet even more. You never thought helping your husband cross-dress as a pure, innocent girl (which is completely the opposite of how he is in real life, gender issue aside) could be this fun.
“Why?” Baekhyun asks. His eyes narrow suspiciously.
“Because I’m gonna put on some lipstick on you, duh.”
“I AM NOT GONNA WEAR ANY LIPSTICK ON ME!”
“Baek, you already put on some blush and eye shadows. A little bit of lipstick wouldn’t hurt.”
“IT WOULD HURT MY PRIDE!”
“Well…” You casually shrug. “You don’t have much to begin with anyway.”
“WHAT—” When Baekhyun gasps loudly in rage, you tackle him down to the floor and straddle him with your legs.
“Wow, okay,” Baekhyun says, commenting when your is basically pressed against his crotch as you try to keep him still with your body. You’re a bit surprised when Baekhyun’s constant nagging suddenly quiets down into a familiar ed smirk, but then again, this is Baekhyun. You should’ve seen this coming.
“Now, now, Sweetheart,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, “If you like me that much wearing a dress, at least appreciate me when we’re alone at home—”
“Oh God, shut up,” you say and shift your weight so now you’re sitting on his stomach. “Now be a good boy for me, little puppy~” And with one hand forcing his face to stay still, you bring your other hand to his lips, ready to pepper a shade of red to his lips.
“OH NO NO NO NO NO!” Baekhyun yells, struggling under your hold. “NOOOOO STOP FORCING ME TO—THIS IS ! HELP! HEEEEELP!”
With the sound of his girly scream (it’s not that he’s doing it intentionally because he’s roleplaying as Juliet; it’s just that Baekhyun tends to scream in his girly voice no matter what the occasion is), Park Chanyeol bursts into the changing room, already dressed in his nurse slash maid costume—a long black dress that falls just a little bit over his knees because he’s too tall, and a white apron tied neatly around his waist.
“JULIET?!” Chanyeol screams—shrieks—in possibly the most horrifying girly voice ever. “JULIET, WHERE ART THOU?!”
“WE HAVEN’T STARTED, YOU IDIOT!” Baekhyun screams glaring at him while still lying under you with his back pressed against the marbled floor. “STOP GETTING INTO CHARACTER AND HELP ME GET AWAY FROM BEING BY MY WIFE!”
Well, that’s a line Baekhyun thought he’d never say.
“Chanyeol!” You order when the tall man looks confused over the situation. “Help me pin him down! I need to get some lipsticks on him.”
Park Chanyeol thinks that Baekhyun is already pretty the way he is, and when he’s wearing that white dress, he becomes prettier, but if you put more make-up on him then he will be very pretty and Juliet needs to be very pretty so the most important question now is: why is Chanyeol even standing there without doing anything?
“YES, ROMEO! WE SHALT MAKE HER PRETTY!” Chanyeol slides down the floor, pinning both of Baekhyun’s hands to the floor and you begin to chuckle evilly because HELL YES, VICTORY!
Do Kyungsoo, already dressed in some kind of a medieval, noble lord costume, waits outside the changing room and tries to ignore the weird noises that come out from there. The horrendous screaming of “NOOOOOO I AM A MAN YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME” quickly changes into an angry bark, “PARK CHANYEOL I SWEAR TO GOD YOU’RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS” before it eventually ends into an aggressive pleading, “SWEETHEART I PROMISE YOU I WILL DO THE LAUNDRY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, JUST PLEASE LET ME ERASE MY MAKE UP”. But then Kyungsoo hears a firm “No,” coming from his ex-girlfriend’s mouth, and then the other male starts to sob, “I look like a cheap … I’m not a princess. I’m a . A sad, transvestite-looking . I’m like Lu Han, but, you know, medieval version.”
Kyungsoo laughs softly and shakes his head in amusement. “You’re really something, Byun Baekhyun.”
“Kyungie, are you ready?” Mrs. Song hurries to him with her little steps and she gasps when she sees the man, dressed handsomely in gold, white and dark blue set of clothes. “Oh, my! You look absolutely wonderful! You’re the most handsome Tybalt I’ve ever seen and believe me when I say I’ve seen a lot!”
Kyungsoo returns her praise with a polite chuckle and a bow. “Thank you, Mrs. Song.”
“Are the others ready yet?” she says, holding out a couple of fake, plastic swords and Kyungsoo takes one before he slips it inside his belt.
“No, they’re still trying to put on some make-up on Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo replies and Mrs. Song huffs impatiently.
“That boy will be the death of me someday,” she says, almost rolling her eyes. “He’s so slow. Honestly, even my five year-old son works faster than him.”
“He’s playing a woman, Ma’am, please understand that it’s against his will to—”
“Yes, yes, of course,” Mrs. Song waves it off. Kyungsoo begins to change the topic and discuss about the costumes instead. Mrs. Song explains that she used to be in a drama club back when she was younger and Kyungsoo nods his head, finally understanding why she suddenly appeared with old, cabaret costumes in her arms a few moments earlier. Mrs. Song has always wanted to perform a little play for the elderly but she never got the chance to do it since she never had enough members to do so. And now she has, thus a drama will be performed.
“Just go straight to the main hall when you guys are ready, okay?” Mrs. Song says and after she sees Kyungsoo’s nod, she scurries away with hasty steps.
“Oh, hey!” You greet cheerfully when you take a step outside the changing room. You take a look at your ex-boyfriend’s appearance and raise both thumbs when you grin at him. “Looking great there, Kyungpoo!”
“You’re not so bad yourself, Romeo,” Kyungsoo says with a humble chuckle after he takes a long glimpse of your white shirt, tucked in tight black pants with a red velvet cape around your shoulders. “Here’s your hat and sword.” The round-eyed man hands you a big hat and a feather to the side on it, and a fake plastic sword that resembles his own.
“Thank you~” you say, sheathing your sword to its case and hang it around your belt. You put on your manly voice when you speak your next words. “I look forward to our battle, Tybalt.”
Kyungsoo’s eyes gleam a bit too mischievously at that. “Oh, you are so gonna lose, Rom—” His words hang on the air when Baekhyun steps out the changing room with his head droops low. “Wow…” Kyungsoo whispers in amazement, not even blinking once as he checks on Baekhyun’s appearance from head to toe. “You’re… You’re beautiful.”
And Baekhyun blushes hard, cowering even more before he gains courage to slip a strand of his long, brown hair—a wig that apparently looks better than your own hair—behind his ear and whispers, “T-thank you.”
“Yah!” You say, pushing Kyungsoo by the shoulder so he’ll snap out of his trance. “Stop hitting on my husband! He’s not that pretty!”
And just like that, Baekhyun’s sassiness is back and in a whole another level.
“Not that pretty?” He repeats, giving you a look. And with a scoff that sounds a lot like a high school’s most dedicated mean girl, your husband tosses his hair over his shoulders and sends you a mocking stare. “Well, sorry for being prettier than you,” he says before he sashays his way out of there. You’re left gaping over his attitude.
“Oh, Kyungpoo what have you done?” you say, sending a weak, tired stare at the said man. “You just boosted up his self-esteem. This means hell to me.”
And Kyungsoo looks genuinely sorry when he apologizes.
“Kyungsoo-yah, do I look pretty too?” Chanyeol chimes in and when Do Kyungsoo takes a look at him, he nearly jumps out his skin.
“Oh my—” Kyungsoo lays a hand over his chest before he calms himself down by landing a hand on the wall. He swallows his breath and forces a smile to appear on his face. “O-of course, Chanyeol, you look… exquisite.”
Surely, he doesn’t think that way. Chanyeol basically looks like a 6-foot-tall yeti in a nun costume. Everybody can see that.
“Yaaay~ Kyungie says I’m pretty~”
But let the man believe what he wants.
When Mrs. Song has successfully gathered most of the elderly (the ones who are not too busy taking their late afternoon naps) in the main hall that’s spacious enough to accommodate the audience, she speaks in her mother-like voice—which, by the way, makes Baekhyun snort loudly because, quote, “She’s not motherly; she’s a devil hiding inside a fifty year old fat woman,” end quote.
“Hello, everyone!” Mrs. Song chirps happily as she walks to the small ‘stage’—which is basically nothing but a single bed (Chanyeol was the one who was ‘bullied’ to bring it here) and a wooden chair beside it. “Are you enjoying your time with your families here?”
A bunch of sleepy “Yeeeeees” come from the elderly. Certainly, they all prefer to lie around on their beds instead of sitting on uncomfortable sofas watching a group of adults and children making fool out of themselves. Or in Yoonchan’s grandpa’s case, watching The Heirs would be considered as a better option—since he resembles Lee Minho and all. Baekhyun is still a bit scarred over that unneeded information.
“Children~” Mrs. Song calls, “Are you having fun with your grandpas and grandmas?”
“YEEEEEEESSSSSS!” The kids are still too-overly-excited, which is probably a good thing. Their parents smile adoringly at them, seeing their kids sitting next to each other on the floor, as they wait for the show to start.
You, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol watch from the other end of the room, hidden from the audience by a long, black curtain. Chanyeol is busy trying to put more mascara on his eyelashes and he angrily shushes you down when you say, “Chanyeol, I think that’s enough,” and in return, he spits back, “I need to look prettier! I don’t want ByunBaek to steal my thunder!”
You sigh and land your eyes back to Baekhyun who’s busy twirling a strand of his (fake) long hair around his thin finger.
“What?” Baekhyun asks when he notices that you’re staring at him with cynical eyes.
“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” you say and Baekhyun only shrugs nonchalantly. “You were the one who made me promise to stay in character, you know,” he simply replied.
“Yeah,” you admit, regretting every moment of it. “But I didn’t think you’d be so into it now.” You let out a loud snort, gazing away from him and mumbling, “And he said he didn’t want to dress like a girl before.”
“You know, Sweetheart,” Baekhyun says, tossing his hair over his shoulder again and you just want to kneel on the floor and cry to your hands because holy he has truly become a woman. “I know that you’re jealous because I look prettier than you,” Baekhyun says with so much sass, you want to knock his head with a hammer (or remind him that he has a , whatever works best). “But girl, there’s no need to be that obvious. I’m just better than you in everything I do. The world works just like that.”
“Do you ever listen to yourself when you talk?”
“Yes. I sound wonderful.”
“Jesus,” you groan, almost wanting to stab yourself on the face with your fake sword. On the next second, Chanyeol touches your shoulder and you turn around to see his face.
It’s a miracle you don’t scream your lungs out at that very moment.
Chanyeol is wearing black mascara and somehow, it gets smudged below his bottom lashes and totally not in a good way. But that’s not even the worst problem—well, not if you take a look at what he’s done with his eyeliner. Clearly, Chanyeol was aiming to have a smoky, blurred look for his eyes. And that’s fine, really, it’s a free country—let the man do what he wants, even when he’s trying to dress up like a hooker when it’s clear he’s supposed to play the role of Juliet’s nurse. But dear God, have some boundaries, dude.
Unlike Baekhyun who is practically The King (or for today’s case, The Queen) of Eyeliners, Chanyeol is a total rookie when it comes to this. He’s already so bad at it and to top it up, he’s been applying his eyeliners without looking at the mirror. Don’t even ask him why or how. He said it was an emergency situation—whatever the hell that means. And so, after he put on his best effort to border his eyes with eyeliners, he used his finger to smudge the eyeliner along his upper lash line. Sure, that would’ve worked well if he didn’t rub it in. But he did and now he looks like Marilyn Manson on a really bad day. Not just that, Chanyeol also used his beauty finger (that’s how he called it) to smudge the eyeliner on his bottom lash line, which eventually make him look like he’s wearing an old, hideous makeup.
“Does it look enough, or should I apply more?” Chanyeol asks you, his eyes glowing enthusiastically.
You can’t help the snarky remark that’s coming out from your mouth. “What, the eyeliner or your ways on becoming the next Asia’s Next Top Transvestite?”
Chanyeol gasps, delicately laying a hand on his chest. “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour—”
“Chanyeol!” Your tone has become desperate. “For God’s sake, you look like a drag queen!” And when he begins to smile wickedly, you quickly add, “THAT’S NOT A COMPLIMENT!”
“Ignore her,” Baekhyun says, placing a comforting hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder when the taller man’s about to weep from your words. “She’s just jealous because us boys look prettier than she could ever be.”
You gape unattractively. “Do you know how,” you raised both hands to make air quotes with your fingers, “’manly’ you just sounded right now?”
Baekhyun goes a bit flustered. “Oh come on, Sweetheart. This is all part of the acting, okay? I’m just getting into my character like you wanted me to.”
“I don’t remember Juliet being sassy as .”
“Mind your word. I will not allow my wife speaking to me with such foul words.” Baekhyun scolds and points a finger at your face when you roll your eyes. “And Sweetheart, come on, I’m just trying to give more swag to my character. You’re just jealous because you aren’t creative enough to improvise while being Romeo The Dull.”
You fold your hands on your chest, staring flatly at him. “Clearly.”
“Ooh~ The sarcasm is strong in this one,” Baekhyun says mockingly. “Look, it’s not my fault that you at roleplaying. I bet Kyungsoo can look manlier than you playing a guy.”
“It’s because I’m already a guy,” Kyungsoo points out and Baekhyun sends him a throughly judging onceover look.
“Okay, Soo, whatever you say.” Then Baekhyun glares back at you. “Stop being so jealous, Sweetheart. It’s just a play.” And then he tosses his hair again. “God, this is why I always say that girls are nothing but a bunch of evil human beings. They always envy each other.”
“Ugh, I know, right?” Chanyeol imitates him, throwing his hair over his shoulder too to the point his entire wig almost got thrown away in the process.
You hold both hands in the air. “I give up. I no longer care. You girls are so lovely, I forgot you have small underneath your lacy underwears. Good day, Ladies.” And you throw your hair back, showing them boys how it’s done before you stroll your way to Do Kyungsoo who’s been busy trying to fix your short-hair wig.
“I think it’s okay for you to put it on now,” Kyungsoo says, placing the wig on your head after you tie your long brown hair up into a bun. “I don’t think it’ll fall off during the performance but just in case, don’t move too much.”
“Got it, Kyungpoo~”
“Hey by the way, why is your husband glaring at you?” Kyungsoo asks worriedly. “Am I being too close to you again?”
You throw a look over your shoulder and scoffs, waving him off. “Ignore him. He’s just upset his wife is sassier than he is.”
“All right, guys!” Mrs. Song’s head peeks out from behind the curtain. “Are you all ready?”
“Yes, Mrs. Song,” Kyungsoo says, fixing his sword around his belt strap.
“Oh, Kyungsoo, you’re so manly!” Mrs. Song literally claps her hands once and stares at Kyungsoo with dreamy eyes before he gazes at you. “And you’re such a handsome Romeo, my dear. So fierce~”
You smile as you bow a little. “Thank you, Ma’am.”
And when Mrs. Song turns her head to look at Chanyeol, she almost screams but she’s lucky she can hide it well. “Oh my…” Mrs. Song swallows her breath, calming herself down by placing a hand to her chest. “Well, Chanyeol. I can hardly notice you.”
“Thanks!” Chanyeol chirps happily as he puts on his veil on top his wig. The white cloth shows a stark contrast to his heavy rocker make-up and his black long dress. It somehow gives an even more horrifying vibes.
But the most important thing you witness right at the moment is how Mrs. Song genuinely approves of Baekhyun’s entire appeareance and how proud she is to have such beautiful Juliet for her play.
“Oh for the love of heaven,” Mrs. Song says as she pulls Baekhyun into a hug which is hard enough to strangle him and pushes the air out of his lungs. “You’re so pretty, Baekhyunnie!” And oh look at that, she gets his name right this time! “You look fantastic! So innocent, so pure, so pretty and graceful! You’re a jewel to every man’s eyes!”
“Oh, God,” you mutter, palming your face. “The universe is ganging up on me.”
“Oh, Mrs. Song, please.” Baekhyun throws another smug smirk to your direction. “I’m not that pretty.”
“But you are! Look at your hair and your dress and oh my, have you always had those cute, pouty lips before?”
You press your temple against Kyungsoo’s shoulder, sobbing. “Kill me. My husband is prettier than me.” And when Kyungsoo only smiles and pats you on the back and not correcting your words, you begin to whimper even more.
Can all of this be over already?
The play, by all means, was horrible. There was only one stage but it was used for every scene, including Chanyeol-Baekhyun’s conversation in Juliet’s room, the epic battle (that’s how you called it anyway, the truth was, it wasn’t epic at all) between you and Kyungsoo, and of course, Romeo and Juliet’s final love scene where they died. Mrs. Song had some children to volunteer for Mercutio, Benovolio, and the Pastor’s roles, and although they were cute, they didn’t know about their lines. Thus, you and Baekhyun had to improvise during the scenes, which ended up with blurting out nonsense because a) Miss Juliet Capulet was a sassy drag queen who thought that Romeo needed to beg (as in literally kneel and cry to the stars) to make her fall in love with him, and b) Mr. Romeo Montague was a stubborn little who thought that maybe Juliet didn’t deserve his love after all. Thank God, Kyungsoo came in to save the day. But the thing was, he was acting as Tybalt and Tybalt was not supposed to make Juliet fall in love with Romeo but at that point, nobody cared. The play was awful but it did bring a huge amount of laughter. Mrs. Song didn’t even look upset—well, not that much anyway.
It’s been a few hours since the play ended and you and the rest of the cast have changed back into normal clothes. You see Baekhyun playing rock-paper-scissors with a bunch of children while holding Yoonchan on his lap. The four year-old boy is drinking milk from his bottle while he lazes around on top of Baekhyun’s thighs. The sight of it is adorable enough to make you kiss your husband on the top of his head before you go out to hang out with your friend at the garden behind the house.
“You were amazing,” a lady named Choi Hwayoung, who’s probably only a few years older than you, compliments you as you two walk side-by-side near the pond. “I’ve never seen Romeo looking so…”
“Annoying? Arrogant?” you offer and she just laughs, shaking her head. Though you two have only met twice by now, Hwayoung and her daughter, Sebyul, have become close friends and the two people you want to see the most whenever you visit the nursery home. If Baekhyun is close to four year-old Kim Yoonchan, then you are best friend with little Sebyul who’s just turned three a few months ago. She’s so tiny with her cute braided hair and everywhere she goes, she always runs in her tiny little steps. She’s very talkative, always asking questions “Unnie, what’s that? Unnie, what’s this?” whenever she has the chance and her curiosity is adorable. She can’t speak fast and she’s still having a hard time trying to form proper sentences but you’re somehow sure that she can understand you pretty well.
“Sebyul is really smart,” you say, smiling at the sight of the little girl following a butterfly with her baby steps. “She makes me want to have a little girl of my own.”
“You’re married, aren’t you?” Hwayoung says. “To that guy—”
“To the guy who played Juliet, yes,” you say, sighing.
“What’s up with the big sigh? You guys look totally cute together,” your friend responds, chuckling a little. “So, are you guys trying to have a baby?”
“I’m already carrying one, actually,” you reply sheepishly and she gasps in return.
“Oh, really?” Hwayoung’s eyes gleam in excitement. “Well, that’s good for you! How long have you been pregnant?”
“Two months, more or less.”
“That’s great, I’m so happy for you!” Hwayoung suddenly pulls you into a squeezing hug. “How are you feeling? Are you excited?”
“I’m so excited, I can barely sleep at night,” you confess, laughing a little. “I have so many thoughts in my head, you know? Like, am I going to have a girl or a boy—because see, I want to have a boy, but my husband, Baekhyun, seems like he wants to have a girl so badly.”
“Well, you can always make another one to be fair,” Hwayoung winks knowingly and you playfully elbow her on the side.
“I guess I’m just nervous,” you say, taking a deep breath before you let it out. “It’s gonna be my first time experiencing everything.”
“Ah well, I used to feel that too when I was pregnant with my first boy,” Hwayoung replies, nodding considerately. “It’s normal to feel that way, but really, you have nothing to worry about. Everything’s gonna be fine.”
“I hope so.” You smile timidly at her before little Sebyul brings your attention back to her. She’s running toward you with stumbles on her tiny feet and she almost falls but you manage to catch her by bending your body forward and snatch her into your embrace. “Whoa, careful there,” you say, taking Sebyul into your arms and carry her up against your chest. “Why are you running, Byullie?”
She doesn’t say anything but her face is open enough to read. She looks so happy when she lifts her fingers and shows you a small dandelion. You laugh a little and Sebyul smiles wider. “That’s a dandelion,” you say. “Can you say dandelion?”
“Dan…” Sebyul imitates the word that flows out from your lips. “Dan… de… lion.”
“That’s right!” you announce happily before you lift her body up in the air and spin your body around. “Byullie, you’re so smart!” The little girl begins to laugh and after another spin, you place her feet back to the ground. “Can you blow at the dandelion for me? Like this?” you give her an example, blowing the seeds off the dandelion globe but only a little. Sebyul nods and does as you say. She manages to blow all the seeds off with one blow and you clap your hands at that. “Yaaay! Now that means you’re loved, little Byullie.”
Hwayoung, her mother, laughs softly at the sight because Sebyul doesn’t seem to understand your words. Instead, she scrambles away from your arms and begin running to the opposite direction, probably looking for more dandelions to blow.
“You’re good with kids,” Hwayoung comments as she takes a seat near the pond. Her protective eyes never leave Sebyul’s tiny figure. “I think you’re more than ready to have one on your own.”
“Well I’m a teacher so I’m used to having them around.” You sit down besides her, replying more, “But being good with kids doesn’t necessarily mean I can handle the responsibility of being a mother. I’m still worried.”
“Well, time will teach you how to be one,” Hwayoung responds, patting your hand sympathetically. “Stop worrying too much, dear. You’re not alone in this. You have me. You have your husband, who by the way I see it, is confident enough to play a woman in medieval age. I think he’ll have even greater confidence in being a father.”
“Well, he’s sassy like that,” you say, chuckling. “He’s a dork but I love him so much, sometimes it’s like I don’t care about anything other than him, you know?”
Hwayoung smiles as she takes a deep sigh and smiles into the warm air. “Ah~ young love. Makes everything feel like spring~”
“Shut up,” you bump your shoulder against hers, scolding her playfully. As Hwayoung begins to tease you more about your relationship with your husband, you see Sebyul running towards you again. She carries another piece of dandelion in her hand and a wide grin on her face.
“That kid, she keeps on running,” Hwayoung stands up with a sudden worried look on her face. “Sebyul, don’t run, honey, it’s dangerous—”
Her mother never gets to finish her words because then, her daughter trips on her own feet. She falls to her side, her head hitting a hard rock near the pond as she goes down. Then she becomes motionless.
It happens so fast and your brain is still in the middle of processing the whole thing when Hwayoung gasps and begins to run to her daughter, shouting her name. When she lifts up Sebyul on her arms, the little girl is bleeding. Blood flows down from the back of her head, drenching her mother’s hand and Hwayoung looks horrified beyond belief.
“Oh…” Hwayoung’s finger tremble hard as her daughter’s blood wets her palm. “Oh God… No…” Even if the cut on Sebyul’s head isn’t severe, it still bleeds heavily and you remember how your teacher once taught you that the face and scalp have many blood vessels close to the surface of the skin. She just won’t stop bleeding.
“HELP!” Hwayoung screams, her voice blaring desperately into the air. She’s looking at you with wide eyes filled with horror. “HELP ME, SHE’S BLEEDING!”
But you can’t move. You just stand there, not even breathing as your eyes take in the sight. Move, you say in your head, move, goddammit, move your feet and help her! But your legs are just as hard as stones, and you can’t even lift a finger. Your mouth are set apart but you can’t scream for help. You just stare and in your eyes, it’s not Hwayoung who’s crying while holding her unconscious daughter. It’s you.
Hwayoung keeps on calling your name as she tries to stop her daughter’s bleeding by tearing the end of her shirt and press the fabric against the wound. You can see her screaming, and crying, and her daughter dying in her arms but you just stand there, doing exactly nothing.
Someone rushes past you and it takes a few seconds for you to notice that it’s Baekhyun. His eyebrows are deeply furrowed, his eyes dead serious. He picks Sebyul with both hands, looking calm and proper despite the beads of sweats that begin to form on his temple. And then more people come over. Kyungsoo… Chanyeol… Mrs. Song… The nurses…
You can see everything but it seems like your ears have defy you the ability to hear. You can only listen to your own voice screaming inside your head, telling you to move and move and move but no matter what you will yourself to do, you keep on freezing on the spot. Your fingers tremble. Your fear creeps up your spine.
That’s Baekhyun holding your daughter because you can’t take care of her. You’re not ready. You’ll fail. You won’t be able to protect your child.
“Somebody go call an ambulance!” Chanyeol shouts, panicking with his eyes open wide as he kneels beside Baekhyun. “HURRY!”
There’s a young female nurse, getting snapped out of her thoughts by Chanyeol’s deep voice and she nods her head before fishing her cellphone out of her pocket. Her fingers are shaking as she presses the buttons down.
“She’ll be fine,” Baekhyun says repeatedly as he cradles the baby girl into his arms. Her blood soon begins to drench his shirt, painting red colors over white and it makes her mother cries harder. “Kyungsoo!” Baekhyun calls, looking to the side to find the round-eyed man. “I need to borrow your car! We need to move fast!”
And Kyungsoo nods, looking just as pale as a ghost as he hurries off to find his key.
In the last moment before Baekhyun runs to follow the man with Sebyul in his arms, he locks his gazes with yours and you don’t know what you see in his eyes, but whatever that is, it reminds you about how you are disappointed with yourself.
And how you’ve let him down in return.
It’s the first time Baekhyun has spoken since the accident with Sebyul happened. Your body jolts awake, stirring your mind away from your thoughts and you only nod slightly in respond. When Baekhyun closes the front door of your apartment and lands a hand on your shoulder, you flinch and move away.
“I’m sorry,” you gasp before you quickly cover it up with a small laugh that sounds too stiff and fake even to your own ears. “I’m okay, it’s—”
“Sweetheart.” Baekhyun’s forehead creases as he frowns. He knows you’re shaken up after the accident.
“No, just…” You take a step away when he tries to take your hand. Your heart beats uneasily behind your ribcages. “I’m sorry, I just need to—”
“—t-take a shower and—”
It’s until Baekhyun forcefully holds your wrist and drags you into his arms that you begin to break apart. Tears are being shed while your nails sink into his shirt. He’s changed his clothes before at the hospital but somehow you can practically see bloodstains on him and that scares you even more.
“I’m sorry,” you sob hard against his chest, winding an arm around his waist and clutching at the back of his shirt. “I’m s-sorry—I didn’t—I didn’t know what happened to me—I didn’t know why I just—”
Baekhyun shushes you down and your hair. “Calm down, breathe,” he whispers over and over again, as he brings you down to the floor because it seems like your knees are about to fall apart under you. Sitting next to each other on the floor with his back pressed against the wall, Baekhyun continues holding you as you cry to his chest. He doesn’t say anything more, just keeps carding his fingers through your hair until you have no more tears to shed. You keep on apologizing to him even though you know it’s not him you should utter your apology to. Perhaps you’re saying sorry for letting him down. You can’t tell whether Baekhyun knows that or not since he keeps his silence till the end.
When you have calmed down a little, Baekhyun carries you to the couch and he positions himself kneeling in front of you. Your eyes are on the same height as his and he smiles tenderly as he pushes the bangs out of your eyes.
“You want to tell me what happened?” he asks. His voice is filled with gentleness and you feel safe, not feeling too scared of being judged anymore.
“I don’t know, I—” Your breathing becomes shallow again and Baekhyun rubs soothing circles against your cheekbones with his thumb. “Baekhyun, for a moment there, I—I saw myself. I saw myself kneeling there on the ground with our daughter bleeding in my arms, and I—” You grit your teeth together so you can contain your sobs. You take a deep breath and look at him straight in the eyes again. “It was just like my dream coming to life. And I don’t know why I just—why I couldn’t move—”
Baekhyun takes both of your hands in his, perhaps noticing how tightly you were sinking your nails into the edge of your seat a second before. “You were scared,” he says, linking your fingers with his so you won’t try to hurt yourself.
“I was terrified,” you confess and Baekhyun smiles understandingly.
“I know,” he says, nodding twice. “It’s okay. She’s fine now, see?” Baekhyun shows you a text message from Chanyeol, indicating that Sebyul isn’t in a critical condition. “She’s fine, don’t worry.”
“It was because of me,” you say, your body quivering a little bit from the tears that are about to come again so your husband places a soft kiss on your knuckle to soothe you down. “Baekhyun, she was running towards me. She wanted to show me something and then she slipped and I—oh God.” You untangle your hands from his and bury your face in your hands.
“Hey, accidents happen all the time,” Baekhyun says, prying your hands away from covering your face. “It’s not your fault—”
“You’re right, my fault is that I just stood there watching her bleeding like that when I was supposed to get help!” You don’t intend to scream but you just can’t help it. “I was—oh, Baekhyun, what is wrong with me?”
“Nothing’s wrong with you,” he says, kissing your forehead once. “You just panicked and—hey, hey, look at me.” He forces you to stare into his eyes by putting a hand under your chin and tilt it up. “It’s not your fault, do you hear me? I don’t want to hear you blaming yourself for this.” And when you try to avert your eyes away from him, he adds. “Sweetheart, I have my faith in you. I know you’re disappointed with yourself today but I’m not. I believe in you. This won’t happen to our child because—look at me.” You bite your lower lip and force yourself to keep your eyes on him. “I know you. You’re strong. You learn fast and you’re responsible. I know you’re worried of becoming a mother but I’m not. I trust you. I know you’ll do well. Nothing that happened today will ever change the way I think about you.”
“W-what if—“ It’s hard for you to speak properly with the amount of crying you do. “What if I screw up—”
“Honey, my dad screwed up,” Baekhyun says, his tone sounds final. “He screwed up by abandoning me. My mother screwed up by leaving me in his hands. But you won’t do that, will you? You’re going to stay and take care of our child no matter what and that’s all that matters. Accidents happen, yes. They can get hurt, sure! I got hurt all the time when I was younger. I often hurt myself when I played around with Tao when I was little, but that’s okay! I’m still alive. Physical wounds can heal, Sweetheart.” Baekhyun ends it with a smile and a kiss to your nose. “It’s the mental ones that we should be worried about. And I know you won’t let our child experience such things. I know you won’t abandon us. That’s what matters the most.”
You lost yourself in his eyes and how his words hold such big faith and promises behind them. “Why am I so weak?” you ask quietly, bringing your head down to gaze at your lap. “All I can do is cry and lean on you for help.”
“You’re not weak,” Baekhyun says, tucking some wild strands of your hair behind your ear until you stare at him back. “You’re the strongest woman I know. It’s just you’re still not used to all of this. You get surprised and scared easily, but it’s okay. I know you’ll be fine. I believe in you. I want you to start believing yourself too that you can do this.”
You keep your lips pressed shut as you close your eyes, two droplets of tears slipping away from the corner. “Okay,” you whisper.
“Promise?” he asks and you nod your head once, albeit still a bit shakily. Baekhyun smiles a bit wider this time. “All right, now I want to take a shower and you’re gonna come with me, Mrs. Byun.” He chuckles, presses a kiss on your hair before he stands up and stretches his arms widely above his head. “Come on, Sweetheart. I stink of make-up and female perfume. They’re not good on Byun Baekhyun although he still got his swag on.”
Your heart beats fast when you press a hand on your chest. This is it, you think as you take a deep breath, I have to do this. I’m not weak. I can do this. It’s for him. I have to do this for him.
“Baekhyun?” you call, standing up as well and slowly reaching out to hold his fingers. Baekhyun senses something’s wrong with your tone, so he turns around with a frown. He notices that you’re worried over a whole different reason now.
“What is it?” he asks and you bite your bottom lip nervously. This needs to be said.
“I want you to go,” you finally say, though your heart feels heavy behind your ribcages, it seems like the right thing to do. “Baekhyun, I want you to take that job and go to Japan.”
Baekhyun’s lips part slightly in surprise. His eyes search yours, finding the resolution you just made a few seconds before. It’s new but it’s decided. You’re sure that this is the best decision you could take right now.
But of course, Baekhyun tries to back away. “Sweetheart, I thought we’ve agreed on this,” he sighs, rubbing his temple with his thumb and forefinger. “I’m not going. I don’t want to leave you alone.”
“You said you trust me,” you reply, “You said you have faith in me.”
“Yeah, but this is different—”
“How is this any different?” You’re surprised by how calm you sound. “Baekhyun, I broke down today. I was scared less and if you weren’t there, I wouldn’t have known what to do with myself. But then you assured me everything would be fine and I believe you. You said you trust me and I want to believe that too. I want to be strong and I want to be able to stop relying on you—”
Baekhyun exhales heavily. “Sweetheart—”
“Baekhyun, please,” you plead, eyes becoming teary once again but you never let your tears fall. You reach up to cup his cheek with your palm. “I know how your eyes light up when you talk about this job. You want this. This is your dream—”
Baekhyun holds your palm as he shakes his head. “No, you’re my dream—”
“Baekhyun.” You become desperate. “I love you so much. You’re amazing. You’re the best guy I know but you need to start doing things for yourself. It’s just a month,” you assure him with a smile as you his cheek. “I’ll be fine. We can talk over the phone. I’ll call you every night before bed. It’s not a big deal.”
Baekhyun still seems unsure.
“You always said how you wanted to make me happy,” you say, growing quiet within seconds. “And you’ve done it so many times but you never gave me the chance to do the same for you. I’m asking you to let me have my chance now.”
Baekhyun finds the resolution in your eyes and how proud you are of him. How much you love him. How much you place his needs and desires above yours.
“Look at it this way: you told me it’s okay to be selfish, right?” you ask, smiling softly. “Well then this is me being selfish. I’m forcing my husband to go to Japan to achieve his dream even though he doesn’t want to. That’s me being selfish.” When Baekhyun playfully scowls at you, you add a chuckle that still sounds shaky enough because you’re on the verge of crying. “And I still want that bath tub, so yeah, this is me being more than selfish. Please still love me.”
Baekhyun sighs, but his shoulders aren’t slumped. When he looks into your eyes, there’s a playful smile showing on his lips. “You’re ridiculous,” he says, placing his index finger and his thumb on your chin to lift your lips up to his. “I can never stop loving you.”
And when he kisses you, you begin to cry again but there’s laughter flowing out of your mouth instead of muffled sobs. Baekhyun keeps on whispering how you’re an idiot for doing this but his kisses say that he’s grateful—that he’s proud of how, even after all those things that happened, you still manage to be brave and convince him to fetch his dream job.
“If I tell you to go to sleep,” Baekhyun says, breaking away to gaze intensely into your eyes. “You do it right away, okay? You need to rest.”
You smile back, sniffling a little while doing so. “Okay.”
“And if I tell you to eat your broccoli, you’ll do as I say and eat those bitter sons of es.”
“Noted. I’ll even take a picture of my empty plate if you want. Broccoli free.”
“Good. And if I demand to have a phone —”
“—you’ll answer and put your voice on for me,” Baekhyun finishes his sentence despite you sending him a playful glare. “Because I can’t be away without you for a month just like that, Sweetheart. I’m craving for you everyday. This is the least you could do.”
Somehow, Baekhyun doesn’t sound like he’s talking about anymore and that’s the reason why your scowl melts into another smile, and you lean closer to press your lips against his. “Okay.” Baekhyun sighs into the kiss, cupping your jaw and making sure that he savors every taste of your mouth so he can build a memory of it in his mind. “I love you so much, Baekhyun,” you whisper breathily, burying your fingers in the strands of his dark hair. You can sense him shivering, not knowing if it because of your touch or the words you just uttered. His kiss becomes softer, gentler and more languid. “So, so much.” It’s funny how you can hold him like this right now and you still, somehow, miss him. As if you just couldn’t get enough of him. Separating for a month would be hell but it’s worth it to see that passion burning in his eyes once again.
“I love you too,” he smiles, pecking your nose once before he kisses your mouth again. “So, so much. But you can’t bring Chanyeol in here, though,” he says between kisses and when you bark a laugh, he adds. “I’m serious. You can’t bring Lu Han either. Or even Joonmyun, for that matter.”
“Of course, of course,” you say, nodding along, and start nibbling on his lower lip until he groans and kisses you deeper. “I’ll just bring Kris. That’s fine with you, right?”
Baekhyun pulls back with a big pout and a scowl. “Yah!”
“Maybe I’ll even get his signatures for you!”
“I mean, you’re his biggest fan after all and—” Your sentence ends up with a yelp when Baekhyun suddenly lifts you up by the waist and throws you over his shoulder. “Baekhyun, put me down!”
“You’ve insulted me. You know how I don’t like to be teased, Miss Steele. It is time for your punishment,” he says, kicking the bedroom door open when you laugh and throw playful punches against his back. “I hope you’re ready for Mr. Grey.”
YOOHOOOO, WHO'S UPDATING FAST THIS TIME? YEP THAT'S MOI AND I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT THE I JUST WROTE DOWN I HOPE THIS ISN'T AS BAD AS I THINK IT IS
So yeah, I wrote this down as fast as I could because my friend Kira, goes by the name @skiraaaa on twitter, was turning one year older on May 27th and I wanted to give her something as a present so I'm posting this right now for you, my dear friend! <333 Happy birthday! I wish you could have all the best things in this world (except maybe Baek because he belongs to me but maybe if you ask nicely, I'll lend him for a night *winks*)
Oh right, if you had a hard time thinking about Baekhyun crossdressing as a chick, well you can always look at these pictures
GODDAMMIT HE'S PRETTIER THAN ME (and if you've seen his pre-debut pic where he ACTUALLY crossdressed as a girl, I think it's safe to say he has better legs than most of us do)
Oh right guys, since I've updated twice this month, don't expect me to update anytime soon~ hahaha I'm probably gonna update Unnerving next and I'm planning to make another one-shot with Kai and Baekhyun as the main characters (because someone requested so on twitter hahaha~)
Thank you for reading! Please leave some comments whenever you feel like it :)