I remember everything clearly. From when I first entered Super Junior till now. At first, it had seemed that only Ryeowook accepted me. But, as one of the quieter and shy members of Super Junior, no one really consulted you of your opinion of me. Back then, I felt really down, and it was you who comforted me, cheered me up, played a part in helping me become accepted by all the members one by one. And I had already started developing a liking towards you. As we spent time together, we became closer little by little and before long, you had become one of the members in Super Junior that i was closest to. I had always admired you for how nice as a person you were. We were just complete opposites. I was being nicknamed "Evil Kyu" and you were just the kindest person I had ever known. But opposites attract I guess. I don't really know how it happened, but we somehow developed feelings for each other that was beyond friendship. 

When we were fiming intimate note, and you had spent a lot of time with Kangin that day, I had to admit I was really jealous. Well... Both of you were drinking from the same bottle. And then when we had to write messages on rolling papers, I knew that it was payback time! I felt really contented when you too felt jealousy. Revenge sure was sweet! However, as the forgiving person you were, you didn't even complain a word about it to me. I have to admit I felt bad... 

As the years passed, Super Junior gained much more attention and many more fans , hence we naturally became busier too. We barely had enough sleep everyday whenever we had to prepare for a comeback. At the beginning, it was really a lot to take. There were lots of times when I felt like giving up. You always encouraged me to endure and that I would soon get used to it. I believed you. I mean, who wouldn't? Even if you were telling me the biggest, fattest, most ridiculous lie, I think I would still have believed you. You felt really tired too. Your eyebags were becoming more and more visible by the day. I was worried for you, but everytime I asked you, you would just say you were fine. 

You were really an angel. My angel. The one who gave me strength and support. The one who brought overwhelming happiness into my life, and took away the sadness. If i were a poet, you would be the moon. And if I were a dolphin, you would be the sea. I was just this dependant on you. I didn't know what I would do without you.

However, it didn't take long for me to find out. Two weeks ago, I was prepared to have a whole afternoon of fun with you. We were going on a date. But you got knocked over by a car while crossing the road. The car was driving at such a high speed that you just bled to death on the spot. The whole of Super Junior cried. But I didn't just cry, I was crying gallons of tears. I cried till my tears dried up. The members knew why I was acting like that, but the company and fans thought I had acted the way I did because I was the closest member to you. The comfort the other members gave me all felt so foreign. They felt foreign because they weren't coming from you. We finished the funeral a few days ago, where everyone you knew came to pay their respects. I was trying not to show my grief too much when everyone was looking, but at night I couldn't help but cry myself to sleep...

It's really hard surviving without you. I blame myself for your death. If I hadn't asked you out that day, I probably could have prevented everything from happening. This is all my fault. I have nightmares every night about your death because I just feel so guilty. 

I hope you become a real angel in heaven. I know you'll continue watching over me from above, just like you have done over the years. Although I don't deserve your attention, I'll still accept it, becaue I'm just this selfish when it comes to you. 

Author's note: Okay... That didn't really turn out like how I had expected... But oh well... Leave me lots of amazing comments, yeah? :D