I WISH

I wish for a miracle and ask and answer myself

For the most beautiful, yet stubborn woman who became my first love and I believe to be my last love, I neither expect nor ask for reassurance from her about her feelings to me. Stupid indeed would I be to expect it in a state where she was very jealous of what I get. Actually, if she wanted to, I would gladly give everything I have as long as she paid me with her love. With that I would spend most of my time with her​​, and never was so excited as when hugging and kissing her. Yet I guess it was all just my wishful thinking that I couldn’t reach out because it was too high, even for someone as tall as me.

Perhaps, all the wealth and the attention I got was the substitutes for her love that I would never have. But, as a man with the stubborn level that wasn’t inferior to her, I didn’t think all of that things were possibly comparable to her. She was just too precious, or maybe it was just me being too worthless.

That day when I confessed to her, though it hurts to death to be rejected by her, I still wouldn’t try to remove her. That was just the resemble of what I had estimated; but on the other hand was also something that I never wished.

I wish everyone could love me sincerely and wouldn’t dare to judge me before they know my true self. And what I got were just fake loves from people who preyed on my wealth, and if there are people who didn’t pretend to love me, they had to be the ones that judge me because of all that I get.

“I’m sorry, but I would never go out with someone like you.”

That day when I asked her why, even though I was tired of being ignored by her, I wouldn’t stop to chase her. Nevertheless, she just left me alone, as if I never asked her from the beginning.

I asked her what was the reason she never wanted to know me. And what I got was a cold wind blowing at my back as if telling me to stop chasing something unattainable.

“I don’t have any reason for it.”

One day, I finally answered my question, althought it sounded crazy.

I, Kris Wu, answered my own question by deciding to go to the place where all people can’t find me.

“Goodbye, misery.”

Since I couldn't get what I really want, it's better to not get any.