Warning: Un-beta'd. Anything else I put here would just be excuses, to be honest, so I'll just stop. *sniffles*



Luhan and Sunyoung are in the middle of discussion when they run into Himchan in the hallway. As close as everyone in the lab are, Sunyoung has always felt a little off when it came to Himchan—the man was good looking, nice, intelligent, but there was always this distance he kept with others.

“So, about the RH—“

In a whiff, Luhan feels Sunyoung pull him aside. Himchan was rushing down the hall and almost ran into the doctor.

“Woah,” Luhan manages to shuffle on his feet and prevent himself from falling. “What was that?”

Sunyoung shrugs and the two of them share a brief look before returning to their conversation.





“Qian, do you think we’ll ever see mom and dad again?”

Victoria stared at the ground, afraid to meet Liyin’s eyes. “I hope not.”

“Why not?” Liyin pouted, reaching out and grabbing her sister by the wrist. “Why not, Qian?”

“I don’t know, Liyin. I just don’t.” Victoria lies through her teeth.

That night, Liyin wouldn’t let go of Victoria’s hand. They went everywhere together—Liyin acted like Victoria’s shadow, following her all around. This was also the day that Liyin discovered she was ill; the day Victoria felt the last bit of hope in her heart drizzling into nothing

“Victoria?”

She snaps out of her daze, her feet having taken her somewhere she didn’t even know she was headed. The eyes that met her were the ones she’s been searching for.

“Himchan.”





“How did you know?” Kris asks Soojung.

The younger girl just smirks as she continues typing away on her keyboard. He bites down on his lip, annoyed by her behavior.

“Have you been watching us this whole time?” He questions, his tone much lower than before. Soojung irritably raises her eyes to meet with his.

In an even and much too confident tone, she says, “Aside from Vic, you’re the only one who has total access to the control room that Bang Yongguk stays in. I’ve stood in for her a few times, most of which are instances when even you aren’t expecting me; did you really expect me not to find out?”

“What did you see?” Kris presses further.

Soojung is now very interested in the matter. “What did you not want me to see?”

Kris remains silent.

“Could it have been you were afraid I’d seen your prolific and detailed ‘messages’ that you had exchange with Himchan and slipped into Vic’s files? Or maybe you’re afraid to know that I’d seen the little notes you relay back and forth between Himchan and Yongguk?”

He feels a lump forming in his throat.

“Well, unfortunately for you, I saw all of it. Including the commentaries on how the three of you would have to make up for all this trouble you’re causing for Victoria. You’re not only risking her job, Kris,” Soojung tells him, “you guys are risking her dreams, her aspirations, her purpose in life.”

“Why didn’t you tell her?”

Soojung scoffs. “I didn’t need to. Vic is smarter than you guys think, Kris. Believe it or not, the only reason she didn’t do or say anything any earlier is because she trusts you.”





Yongguk is sitting in the emptiness of his room, knees pressed up against his chest, his chin resting on the pad of his knees. He thinks of many things, but most of which pertains to convincing Victoria to let him stay.

“Can you smile for me?”

He wonders what that could have meant. Victoria must have encountered countless smiles in a day from everyone around her. What made her want to see his?

No matter how hard he tries, he’s slowly beginning to lose touch with reality. It becomes more difficult for him to stay awake and he constantly feels both hungry and full at the same time. The more he tries to remember something, the more likely he is to forget it.

Bang Yongguk is supposed to be strong; he was trained to endure harsh conditions, never giving up or wavering on life even if he were on the brink of death.

Why did he feel like he was drifting between various uncertainties now?

“You don’t look so good.”

That is the last line Yongguk hears before he loses consciousness. He recognizes it as Zhoumi’s voice, and he can faintly hear Zhoumi conversing with another doctor—female, Yongguk notes, because it’s his first time hearing of a doctor that is not male.

“Maybe we should wait for Victoria,” she suggests.

Zhoumi thins his lips and nervously glances at Yongguk. “We should at least give him an antibody injection while we’re waiting. His fever is ridiculously high; he’s never been this unstable before.”

“I’ll request for some. You wait here with him,” Sunyoung agrees.





“Do you ever question your job?” Soojung asks Kris. “You’re walking on a fine line,” she continues, “despite not being able to be entirely upset at your doings, I can’t bring myself to think it’s alright either.”

Kris sneers. “What about any of this is alright, Soojung?”

She tilts her head, chin resting on her palm as she props her arm on the table with her elbow. “Do you remember what you told me a while ago? That I would learn to stop caring after working for a long enough period of time? I never believed you.”

“Good,” he remarks. “You really shouldn’t have.”





“Bang Yongguk is his real name. He was an up and coming criminal investigator; his colleagues acknowledged his capabilities and he got along really well with his team. His resignation was sudden, but not unexpected. That’s about as much of his career that I know of.”

“Why?” Victoria asked. “Why did he throw away a life like that, for a life like this?”

Himchan looked her in the eyes. “His girlfriend was murdered during a robbery not long before his younger brother was diagnosed with lymphoma. Despite being friends with him throughout most of high school, we really weren’t that close; when he heard from a common friend of ours that I worked for this organization he went through all the hardships of contacting me and asking me for help.”

“So, first off, you helped him commit identity fraud, then you used your connections to permit him into our labs, and now you’re breaking the secrecy by telling me?” Victoria says, trying not to scoff in his face. “How does any of this make sense?”

The nurse chews on the inside of his cheek, trying to find the right words.

“Himchan, I’ve known you long enough to realize that you’re not a gullible person. You’ve sensible, smart, knowledgeable, and there’s so much more to you than I know,” Victoria says, “but do you realize that, by telling me all of this, you’re only exposing me to more harm for him than good?”

“His brother is only seventeen years old, Vic,” Himchan nearly pleads. “We both know what it feels like to lose someone we love to these so-called incurable illnesses. All he wants to do is contribute in the finding to a cure, to save his little brother.”

Victoria can’t hold back the tears that well up in her eyes. She breathes out, lips trembling. “He’s leaving behind a healthy and potentially successful life to be in this living hell!”

“And when he loses his brother?” Himchan asks. “What then?”

“He’ll move on,” Victoria cries. “We all have to.”

Himchan’s eyes narrow in pain, his breath caught in his throat. She watches as tears of his own spill down his cheeks, his face reddening and disgruntled. “Did we want to?” Himchan asks her, his voice masked in anger.

She doesn’t reply.

“When you lost Liyin, when I lost Youngjae, did we ever really recover, Vic? Isn’t that the reason why we’re both still here—because we can’t let go?” He continues. “What right do we have to turn Yongguk away, when he’s here for the very same reason the two of us are?”

“We’re researchers, Himchan,” Victoria reminds him. “We work for this organization, we have rules and procedures we must follow. He found a way to block out his past from the records, you found a way to sneak him in, but that doesn’t make any of this right.”

Himchan roughly wipes the trails of tears from his face. “There is no right or wrong in this equation. Think about the boy, Vic—Junhong, he’s just a seventeen year old kid waiting to be saved.”

“No, you think about the boy, Himchan. When he finds out that his brother—blood and bones—died for him, because of him, how happy will he be? How well will he live?”

And, for the first time in a long while, Himchan feels the humanity in him coil and rot.

“It’s the boy that’s constantly sitting in the lobby, isn’t it? Every time Suho or Kwanghee want to approach him, you find a way to send him off first,” Victoria accuses. “It’s not selfish to save Yongguk, Himchan. It would be selfish to allow the procedures to continue, knowing full well he actually has a life waiting for him outside of these wards.”

“We’re too far in now, aren’t we?” Himchan asks. “He’s lost most of his memories, his reactions are miniscule—there’s no turning back now.”

Victoria hisses through her teeth. No matter what she wants to believe, she knows it’s true. There comes a point in time during their tests that turning back is no longer an option—Yongguk is border lining that reality.

“There’s no use—“

“I’ll ask Zhoumi about it; maybe he can have a talk with the pathologists and they can stop the experiments without deteriorating his health any further. There’s got to be a way,” Victoria cuts him off short, “hope, that’s what all of us here have most, right?”

Himchan breathes slowly, staring into her eyes. “Something about you has changed, Vic.”

She’d never allow herself to admit that. Hugging her binder closer to her chest, she glances away awkwardly. “Is there?”

“Yongguk…” Himchan starts “have you…”

The door shoves open and Kris peeks his head inside. “Vic? Are you here? I’ve got something to ask you.” His eyes meet with Himchan and Himchan gives him a weak shake of the head. Kris suppresses a sigh.

“Y-yeah, I’m here,” she stutters, giving Himchan one last look before rushing for the door. Kris holds the door open for her so she can slip past him, the two of them hurriedly making their way towards the Researchers department.

Kris curses under his breath and hands her a tissue.

“You had a question?” She asks.

He nods. “What do you tell a girl who’s dying, when she asks you if you’ve ever seen anyone as helpless as her in your life?”

“Liu Yiyun?” Victoria guesses.

Kris pauses and nods again.

“Tell her the truth,” Victoria suggests. “Zhoumi says she’s an honest girl and if I were her, I’d want to hear the truth.”

“That there are plenty others like her here, and she is no different than any of them?” Kris asks. “Is that what I should tell her?”

Victoria breathes in deeply, dabbing at the sweat on her forehead. “If you don’t want to tell her that, then tell her although she may seem helpless, and she might think everything she’s going through may seem pointless, her sacrifice will make her an unforgettable existence. Tell her she’s strong, she’s brave and, in the end, she is the real hero; not us and not the doctors, but her.”

Those are the words she once wanted to tell Yongguk, to every single person she’s ever analyzed, but never could bring herself to. How do you tell someone that their only future is death?

Along the way, they pass by the lobby and she finds a young boy sitting there. Victoria stops and stares at him for a while, until Kris nudges her with his elbow.

“You go ahead,” she tells him. “I’ll be right there.”

Kris watches as she walks towards the young foreigner, uncertainty written all over her face. He stays rooted to his spot for a moment, until his caller beeps and he’s being called for by another patient.

Patient after patient, there seems to be no end to their research. Neither is there an end to their humanity, as long as the labs go on.





After a few steps, the young boy hopefully raises his gaze from his hands and his eyes meet with Victoria’s. She stops in place, frozen to the ground.

This boy has the same look in his eyes that Liyin had; weak, afraid, but pretending to be strong.

Moments tick by and they hold each other in sight until Victoria breaks from the connection and looks down at her shoes. How does she face a child who is a living replica of the sister that she missed so much?

There’s one more thing Victoria needs to know before she decides to barrage the plan altogether. If there was one thing that would be the deciding factor of the conclusion of this entire plotting, it would be Himchan’s true reasoning for his participation in such an act.

Victoria knows why Yongguk is doing this, and she knows Kris is taking a role in it, too, but she realized she has no idea—aside from Youngjae’s death—why Himchan chose to help Bang Yongguk with this mission.

She picks up her phone and calls Kwanghee, asking for Himchan’s number.

“Himchan?” Kwanghee frowns. “He just called to ask for Zhoumi’s number. What’s going on?”

“I think he’s going to try to convince Zhoumi to transfer me to another case.” Victoria hurriedly explains. She takes one last glance at the boy before running off to bang Yongguk’s ward. “Thanks, Kwanghee.”

When she arrives at Yongguk’s ward, there is a swarm of nurses and physicians surrounding the door. She pushes her way through the crowd and barely makes it into the control room, where Himchan is anxiously staring into the monitor.

Zhoumi and Sunyoung are performing some kind of procedure on Yongguk.

“What’s wrong?” She asks.

Himchan is startled by her sudden appearance. “They need you in the room.”

“What happened?” Victoria repeats.

He shakes his head and ushers her towards the entrance to the lab room.

“You’re finally here.” Zhoumi sighs a breath of release. “He’s been calling for you ever since we injected the antibody into his system.”

Sunyoung grimaces when Yongguk groans in pain again. “The patient has been clutching his head and mumbling things we can’t understand. Your name and several other loose words are the only things we can make out of his groaning.”

“Is it his reaction to the antibody, or a reaction to previous testing?” Victoria asks. She motions to write things down out of habit, but realizes she forgot her pen and notebook in the other room. “Why is he asking for me?”

There are a group of nurses trying to strap Yongguk down to the bed.

“We’re not entirely sure yet. We’ll need to take these blood and bone marrow samples to the lab and have them analyze the results before we can know for sure,” Zhoumi says. “I think it’s best that you stay with him for the time being. He seems to really rely on you right now.”

“It’s probably because of his amnesia,” Victoria replies, “he doesn’t feel like he can trust anyone, but I’ve been conversing with him a lot lately.”

Zhoumi and Sunyoung share an understanding nod with her and make to leave.

After the room has pretty much cleared out, Victoria walks over to Yongguk’s bedside and brushes his growing hair out of his eyes. He’s sweating all over, shivering and trembling from the inside out.

Victoria wishes there was something she could do for him.

“Your brother is here,” she whispers, reaching for a towel the nurses have left behind and dabbing away at his perspiration. “He’s really worried about you. You have to make it through this.”

She might have imagined it, but she could have sworn Yongguk’s reacted to her in spite of his unconsciousness when she mentioned his brother.

“There’s no point in keeping the truth from him, Yongguk. He’s old enough and I’m sure he’s aware of what’s happening. To the people outside, we might just seem like another hospital, but patients like your brother can sense what we are—they can tell.” She continues.

Her eyes trail down to his hands, which now lay stiff and rigid. Victoria reaches out and lays her warm hand over his, giving it a light squeeze.

“I know what you’re going through,” Victoria whispers. “We’ll help you through this; we’ll save Junhong together, but not like this—this isn’t right and you know that. If we’re going to do it, we’re doing it my way.”
 

A/N: Alright, my lovely readers! I'm just about done with Part 5 and I'm pretty sure if things go accordingly, Part 5 will mark the conclusion of this story ^_____^ Thank you so so so so so much for sticking through this with me!!! See you at Part 5!♥♥♥