Song inspiration for this chapter:http://grooveshark.com/#!/s/Breathing+Underwater/4F4Rxz?src=5"> Breathing underwater- Metric

{Joe’s Point of View}

Time couldn’t possibly get any slower than this…. I thought as I was mindlessly looking at my teacher, Hearing her but not understanding what she’s saying, while tapping my ball pen impatiently on the untouched clean page of my notebook. I need to get out of here, there’s no doubt in that.

 

This could possibly be the best day of my life. I mean, I love my parents and all but sometimes—no, most of the time, I feel like they’re strangling me too much. It’s getting irritating. I feel like a person who was sent here to earth with her life already planned out for her… I thought I was supposed to make my own decisions… This is my life after all…

 

Now, my mind wandered to the time when I felt like questioning if this is my life.

 

[Flashback]

 

“So, when are we going to tell them about us?” Nate suddenly asked me. I was leaning on his chest as his arms were circled around me, our fingers intertwined as he was playing with mine. That question again. We’ve been going out for over a month now and I wasn’t ready to lose him. I know for a fact that when my parents knew about us, it would mean 70% of them disapproving with only 30% possibility left for our relationship to survive.

 

And just like any other time that he would ask that I would answer: “Soon enough,” Trying hard not to look at him.

 

And like always, I hear him sigh and argue with me…

 

“You always say that,” he said sadly and all I could do is wait for his next statement.

 

He puts down our hands on my lap, “Every time I ask you about it you always have a reason,”

 

“You know very well why I don’t want to ask them yet… our chance of keeping this relationship with them aware and approving of it are slim. And I’m sorry about being so scared that I don’t even try to ask my parents about it but I just don’t want to lose you yet. I don’t want you to go away from me yet. I don’t want to go away from you yet.” I said with tears threatening to fall from my eyes, my voice trembling and wavering in the last sentences.

 

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry. It’s just that, you know how I feel about us being a secret right? I feel like I’m doing something illegal. Like loving you can put me to jail. But I will stand by you and never leave…” he turned my head towards him a bit using his right hand, guiding my face to meet his gaze. “until you ask me to.” he added in an almost inaudible whisper.

 

“Look Joe, I won’t leave you even if your parents tell me to. I won’t leave even if my friends tell me to. I won’t leave you. Not until you’re the one that tells me to go. I will. Unless you’re getting tired of fighting for us, I won’t leave. And unless you look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want to be with me anymore, I won’t lose you. I promise you that. What was it again? Ahh…. Saranghae, Yonghwoni” I giggled at his funny attempt to say I love you forever in Korean and he laughed along with me. Then our faces turned serious and we stared into each other’s eyes… as if seeing each other’s souls. I saw his sincerity. And our lips met. It was gentle and reassuring as if saying a wordless I am yours… I will be here for you and at the same time it was fearful and displays a feeling of uncertainty… whether this will work or not.

 

I caress the back of his neck as our gentle kiss turned into a deeper, more passionate one, our intertwined hands now free, his hands now on my cheeks. He my lower lip asking for entrance and I let my mouth open a little wider and he entered instantly as if afraid of me backing out. Our tongues fought for dominance. The sound of our lips smacking with our moans of pleasure filled the room. Our kiss was full of passion and love that neither of us wanted to break it. His thumb s in my blouse, gently… teasingly caressing my smooth stomach. I felt shivers through my spine at the sudden contact and he smiled at our kiss, chuckling softly at the sight of me in pleasure. We were about to do more when suddenly…

 

“WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” Nate and I pulled away from each other immediately at the sound of my father’s angry voice.

 

“Appa…” I mumbled looking at him with both fear and surprise.

 

“Joe who is this young boy right here?” he asked fuming with anger.

 

“Appa, this is my boyfriend Nate… Nate this is my dad,”

 

“Good evening sir,” He bowed slightly and continued to stare at the ground.

 

“Boyfriend????!!!! Since when??!!” my dad demanded.

 

“We’ve been together for over a month now,” I was slowly losing my patience.

 

“Bwo??!! And you managed to keep it a secret?! Tsk… Didn’t we talk about this? I will be the one to find you a husband… someone who can keep you safe. Someone I know of.”

 

“But appa, aren’t you even going to consider him?” I pleaded, tears threatening to fall from my eyes, maybe of anger or of fear, I didn’t know.

 

“Sir, I really love Jony. I can spend forever with her. Sir, If you give me a chance, I can prove to you how much I love her and how I can keep her safe.”

 

“YOU!” He raised a finger to Nate, eyes full of furiousness. “Get out of my house now!” I was trembling with shock and anger at the same time.

 

“APPA!” I held on his arm to hold him back from pouncing at Nate, tears freely falling from my eyes. “Appa, please….” I kept on tugging his arm. He finally turned to look at me, eyes still full of fury. Nate was still standing in the same spot frozen with horror written all over his face. Dad turned towards the door and dragged me with him to another room and slammed the door shut.

 

“You are not going to see him anymore. Break up with him.” Dad seethed as soon as he slammed the door, not even bothering to face me.

 

“But Appa, Nate really cares for me and I for him. I love him. Why not give our relationship a chance dad???? Why do you have to always control me??? Dad this will be my future and--”

 

“Right. This is your future. That’s why I want the best for you. Now, go to that guy and tell him never to see you again!” he sighed. “… or I’ll have to force you into the company…”

 

“What?! Appa?! Really???!!! You bring this up again?! Why can’t you—Why don’t you just—Ugh! AHHHHH!” I walk out of the room and slam the door behind me, furiously scratching my head.

 

I walk to the room to find Nate but he was gone… probably still flabbergasted with the happening.

 

Probably it was good that he wasn’t here or I wouldn’t be able to think clearly. My thoughts turned back to my dad and what he said kept repeating in my mind.

 

“Now, go to that guy and tell him never to see you again! ... or I’ll have to force you into the company”

 

What?! This guy really knows how to make an ultimatum. I guess that’s why he’s such a good businessman. That’s why he’s so good at ruining my life. He knows that the only thing I could be bribed with is the decision to be in the company. I don’t want anything to do with that business. I don’t treat my life like crap. I have my dream and I don’t give a damn about money. While on the other hand, my parents only care about money. All they want is to pile up their cash. They say it’s for our future, I say it’s their obsession.

Sorry Nate. But I can’t exchange my dream with you. I’m really sorry

 

The next few days, I tried my best to avoid him and give myself the space I needed to make up my mind. And 6 days after that whole incident, I finally did.

 

I asked him to meet me at the university field. I was waiting on the bleachers for him to show up and when he did I stood up and turned to face him.

 

“Nate I--” I started but was interrupted when he pulled my into his arms in a tight embrace. He rested his cheek on my shoulder, facing the crook of my neck. I could feel his heavy breathing and it sent chills down my spine.

 

He pulled away and we got lost in each other’s eyes. And before I could say anything, he pulled me into a longing yet gentle kiss and for a moment I was convinced that he was for me. But no. I have to do this. I have no choice.

 

I was hesitant for a moment but I decided to bring on the show.

 

I pulled away harshly and I couldn’t look straight at his face which now showed raw hurt. I immediately looked up and tried my very best to compose myself. Deep inside I felt like crying. I’m sorry Nate… I know you’ll find someone better. I will too. Hope you do well after this.

 

“Joe???” hurt was evident in his eyes. I tried hard not to break eye contact and looked at him with conviction.

 

“I’m sorry Nate. I- I just d-don’t love you anymore.” I said reluctantly.

 

“What??” He smirked then laughed lightly but stopped when he saw my seriousness “You’re joking right???”

 

When I didn’t respond he turned serious. “Joe, we’ll get through this together… right?” He was about to hold my arm but I quickly pulled back.

 

“I’m sorry Nate. These past few days I’ve been thinking about you… About us…. And I realized there was really nothing. We were empty. I’m sorry Nate. I wish you the best. I know you’ll find a better girl for you.” I said not breaking my eye  contact with him.

 

“Cut the crap Joe! I know we had something. You’re lying!” He pulled me into a really tight hug. “Joe, tell me what I did wrong and I’ll change. For you, I can do that. For us. Please Joe. Don’t leave me. Please” his voice was pleading almost begging. I couldn’t stand seeing him like this so I did what most of the girls in the same situation would.

 

“I’m sorry. I hope you find someone better.” I ran. Ran as fast as my legs could. Ran to who knows where? Ran as if it was my last hope of surviving.

 

*Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing*

 

The school bell brought me back to the present and I was happy it was the end of the day.

 

What happened to me and Nate you ask? Well a few months after that we graduated from high school and went to separate colleges. I bumped into him in a bakeshop one day and right there and then I knew I was totally over him. I discovered he was seeing another girl for a while now and I was glad about it. We just weren’t meant to be.

 

“Sooo…. This is it.” I said to myself as I took a final look at my house and took in what it feels like to be in America and said a final farewell to all that I would leave here. I told the maids I was going to sleep over at a friend’s house even though I’ve never done that. They didn’t—more like couldn’t object as I walked briskly and hailed a cab.

 

I was so excited when I reached the airport. I pushed back all second thoughts crossing my mind and sighed. No turning back now…

 

My life is just about to start…

---

Hey Guyzz!!

So... I'm sorry for not updating for the past days... My parents are CRAZY!!!

They planned a surprise vacation for the whole family to the beach!!!

Imagine my surprise when I went home to find them loading lots of stuff into the van. We were at the beach for about a week then they decided to have a roadtrip to another place when we were about to go home! I just arrived yesterday at around midnight so yeahh... just sharing...

And also I'm lovin this summer cause the kdramas I've been wanting to watch are finally showing here in the Philippines!!! Love Rain is airing on April 29 at ABS-CBN and Flower Boy Next Door is now showing on tvN!!!!! Oh yeah! I already watched To the Beautiful You but I'm still waiting for it at ABS!!! Hell yeah! I love KDramas! They're actually the reason why I came to love KRock :)))

So... see you in the next chap!

As always comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated:)

Max^~^