the rain of sound; silentdreams
Review by: ohmysnappleshakes
Story

Since this was an entry for a writing contest, I'm going to have to be harsh. There are things in this review that you could benefit from. I only want the best outcome for you, and I feel like a few things hinder you that you could easily fix.


Description/Foreword: I could already tell that this would be a little bit difficult to review from my impression of the foreword. There was no capitalization whatsoever in the places that should've had it. For instance, you didn't capitalize Daehyun's name. At first I thought that this was some kind of weird prose (that was in the form of a poem) and so I set it aside, but when I realized it was a regular oneshot, I was very disappointed. The last part of the sentence in the description "....that he himself succumbs into..." is obscure. There is something in English called using a double negative (i.e can't not do this), and there's a similar term for how you used it here.
You don't need two pronouns to describe the same thing... I would suggest re-writing it as "...they were only delusions that he let himself succumb to..", or something like that. It was just for an idea- you could probably come up with something better than that. Your foreword is formatted in a way that contradicts your oneshot- you format it as a poem, but the actually story is a oneshot.. That's a little bit iffy, in my opinion. 
There are grammatical errors that I spotted(I'll touch on those later since I have to move on now.)

Title: The title sounded a bit weird to me... B.A.P's song is called Rain Sounds, and if the title had been that, it would have been fine. If the title was "The Sound of Rain", I would have accepted that, since it made sense to the prompt you were given. However, the 'the rain of sound' sounds really reaaally awkward, and you did not capitalize the title correctly. The way a title should be capitalized is 'First Word, Last Word, All Important Words" or in other words: The Sound of Rain - the first word, 'The' is capitalized, the last word 'Rain' is capitalized, and the important word, 'Sound' is capitalized. 'of' is there for prepositional purposes, so it doesn't need to be capitalized.

Plot: The plot was interesting.. I caught the general jist of it, but there were some areas that I felt hindered the full potential of the plot. I thought that Daehyun was reminiscing on the day his band members died... it showed no indication whatsoever that he was dying alongside them. 

Creativity/Originality: I've seen a few death stories in my time, and yours was a little similar to what I've seen before. I think these kinds of stories are hard to make original; you have to grasp something and mold it into your own so that your originality can shine through.

Flow: The flow wasn't that bad. I felt like it fell apart a few times throughout the oneshot, but I could see that you tried as much as possible to keep it together.

Characterzation: I could really feel Daehyun's anguish when you wanted it to be felt. His characterization was too cliche along the lines of death stories, and I thought that it was just fine. 

Style: Your style of writing kind of got in the way of me enjoying the oneshot as much as I could have. The grammar and lack of capitalization and correct punctuation was a difficult obstacle to come over, and I found myself spending more time shaking my head at the grammar instead of fully enjoying the oneshot. 


There are many things that I could elaborate on, but because of time constraints, I can't. You could always message me and I could expand on the points that I made in this review. I would like you to go back and review your grammar and capitalization and fix your errors, if you wish to do well in this writing contest. I'm sorry if I seemed a bit harsh- I just want you to improve! Thanks for choosing our review shop!