Pain or love?
Kiss the rain
They stood there. The corners of their lips pulled up into a gentle smile. The boy with brown hair wore a grey top, with navy jeans. His cool image shattered by the smile he displayed. He looked at the boy with long blond hair. The blonde locks reached his shoulders, with his fringe framing his picture perfect face. The blonde boys slender figure was covered by a baggy blue and white striped top. Still his slim smooth legs could be seen with the teal shorts he wore. His face mirrored the smile on the others face.
"I don't want you to go," said the blonde with a frown apparent on his face.
He looked down while pushing out his bottom lip turning it into a childish pout. He didn't want to see the other go. He hated these moments. He tried however much he could to keep the other by his side for as long as he could still, he knew that at the end of the day, they both had to go home. Going away from the other had always been a bit of a challenge for him. It was a challenge he faced everyday. With frustration he roughly pushed both his hands into his pockets and kicked a rock on the ground harshly.
A chuckle could be heard through the cool evening. "You're so cute when you do that you know," said the other with amusement and love laced in his voice.
"Shut up Myungsoo!" said the blonde.
He looked up into Myungsoo's eyes and his frown deepened. He turned his body around, causing his blond hair to fly momentarily in the air before settling down on his shoulders again. He began walking, he didn't want to be teased anymore. All this teasing was not good for him, especially his heart. Hearing footsteps behind him he picked up his pace. The footsteps behind him sped up and so he ran, with a smile and his frown forgotten. Just as he reached the grassy front yard of his house he felt a strong pressure on his waist and he flew back. Then his back crashed onto someone's chest. Someone who meant a lot to him. He lifted his hands and placed it swiftly on the arm wrapped around his waist. He tried to pull the arm that was fixed on his waist. Maybe running wasn't a good idea he thought, cursing himself for being silly. Now there he was struggling to get out of Myungsoo's one arm grip. Knowing well that there was no way he would be able to get out, he settled on asking the other. "Can you let me go, please?" he plead.
"No Sungjong," said Myungsoo. "First you have to kiss me".
Myungsoo moved his head forward and rested his chin on Sungjong's shoulder. His request sounded as if it came from the most sincerest of hearts. Hearing this Sungjong felt scared, his eyes widened and he gasped. "Do you really want to kiss your best friend?" he said curiously.
Myungsoo snickered and paused, then laughed wholeheartedly. "You really are gullible like a child. You even pouted like one before!" Myungsoo said with amusement.
"You're not funny, OK, and let me go idiot," said Sungjong trying to sound angry, "Sometimes I wonder why I'm your best friend".
"Because you love me and you need me to live," Myungsoo joked.
Sungjong just wanted to run off right now. He felt so hurt. Myungsoo would never like him. What was he thinking for those few seconds. He know Myungsoo is a joker and his jokes are mostly aimed at him. Yet Sungjong refused to give up on his feelings. Myungsoo was a handsome boy who could have any girl with a blink of an eye so why would he like him. Sungjong just hoped Myungsoo would stop being so flirty with him, even if it was a joke. Myungsoo had no clue how much damage he had done to the fragile, gentle blonde. Sungjong knew that Myungsoo wouldn't like him. Of course he wouldn't, after all they are both boys. Though hiding these feelings was killing him inside. He couldn't handle it anymore. 'Maybe I should tell Myungsoo my feelings,' he thought 'Maybe I should do it now. Right now, in Myungsoo's arms'. He breathed in and then exhaled. His pink lips parted and so did Myungsoo's arm, from his waist. Suddenly his strength to confess was gone just like Myungsoo's arm. Once again he looked down and sighed. He could no longer feel Myungsoo's chest behind him. He felt alone again but still felt a sharp gaze on his back. He felt strange. What was Myungsoo doing behind him he wondered. Why was Myungsoo not saying anything and just staring. Sungjong was right. Myungsoo was looking at him with his dark brown eyes. They held a lot of thoughts.
Myungsoo walked around Sungjong and tilted his head down slightly. He said, "Sungjong, I'm sorry if I took the joke too far but you have to forgive me. We are best friends after all".
There was silence for a few seconds. Sungjong refused to look at Myungsoo or give him a reply. The cool breeze blew and the sky became darker. Myungsoo looked up and saw the clouds gather together slowly. They looked grey or sad as Sungjong would say. Myungsoo liked the grey clouds, as they brought rain. Rain to him was like nourishment for the earth, it was the the water of life. Rain brought fresh water for animals and trees and helped them grow. When he was young his mother told him that rain contained love that helped plants and trees grow. Now that he had grown up he knew that the nutrients in the rain helped plants grow, still his childish mind refused and said it was love. So rain symbolised love to him. Love that pours down on you when you feel down. His best friend though rain symbolised pain as the product of pain is tears, in this case rain. Sungjong said rain shows heaven is crying and Myungsoo would argue rain shows heaven loves you.
Rain definitely means love Myungsoo thought...
Sungjong still hadn't said a word and Myungsoo couldn't stand it. He moved both his arms near Sungjong's waist and reached out his finger. He delicately rubbed Sungjong's sensitive waist and he let out a giggle. Immediately Sungjong moved back and Myungsoo continued to move forward and tickle him. Sungjong continued to giggle as Myungsoo continued his actions. Sungjong tried to block Myungsoo's hands and he even succeeded a few times but failed most of the times. Myungsoo has always been good at tickling Sungjong.
He had done this for years now. Whenever Sungjong was upset with him Myungsoo would pull out his secret weapon: his finger. Then he would tickle Sungjong until he had forgiven him. It was more of a forced method to make Sungjong forgive him but it worked. It wasn't just to make Sungjong forgive him though, it was mostly because Sungjong would laugh and smile. Myungsoo couldn't steal that smile his best friend possessed, it was too precious. "Alright! I forgive you," Sungjong said, still laughing.
After Sungjong had calmed down he looked up at Myungsoo. His smile radiating. Just like before he looked into Myungsoo's eyes, not letting go of his smile. Myungsoo looked at him as well, but with a blank expression. His eyes just as unreadable as his face. Sungjong smile slowly faded as he stared at Myungsoo deeply. Sungjong expressed his love through his eyes 'I hope he sees it' he prayed. Sungjong swallowed and his adam's apple bobbed up then down. Straight after that Myungsoo blinked and his eyes glimmered looking glossy. For a moment they stayed like that, Sungjong with love filled eyes and Myungsoo with glossy eyes. Everything was silent, still and strange. Both were showing emotions that the other didn't understand, or maybe they did. Suddenly Sungjong felt a light sensation on his bottom lip. It felt cold and damp. He frowned 'What was that,' he wondered. Myungsoo smiled and said, "You just kissed the rain. Well it kissed you. See I told you rain means love".
"No, heavens crying. Anyways, I'm going inside, I don't want to get wet," Sungjong said.
Sungjong started walking, then paused and looked up. "The clouds look really grey. I think it's going to rain heavily" he said.
Then he walked again, stopping after a few strides. He turned to see Myungsoo facing him still standing in the same place. "Are you going to follow me inside or not?" Sungjong said with annoyance.
In reality he was just worried about Myungsoo getting wet. He didn't want to let Myungsoo know he was worried, so he tried to sound annoyed. Hiding his emotions from Myungsoo was all he ever did, especially his love. 'Myungsoo doesn't need my love. He just needs a best friend' he thought. Sungjong got on his front porch, which was sheltered and rummaged through his short pockets, searching for his keys. Light sputtering noises started as the rain hit the grassy ground. "Sungjong," Myungsoo called softly, "Come here. Lets dance". Sungjong turned around and cocked his eyebrows saying, "Have you gone crazy? Stop talking nonsense".
"I want to dance. Come on Sungjong, can't you do this for you best best best friend?" Myungsoo questioned.
"Do I look like a kid to you? And how old are you supposed to be?" Sungjong replied, crossing his arms.
"You look like a cute little kid and I'm seven years old, are you happy now?" Myungsoo answered. "Now come here, please".
"Nop," Sungjong said.
Sungjong could see the rain drops collect on Myungsoo hair. If he didn't get inside his hair would become soaked. Myungsoo's gray top was also looking darker. So Sungjong turned around and fished out his keys, they jingled while the rain sputtered a bit more then before. He pushed the key inside the door lock and twisted it. He heard a click, then pulled his key out lightly, and put it back in his pocket. By the time he was about to grab the door knob Myungsoo grabbed his hand, pulling him back abruptly. "Hey!" Sungjong exclaimed.
He didn't even hear Myungsoo approach him. Myungsoo advanced towards him silently. Sungjong stumbled on the few steps as he fought a losing battle with Myungsoo. Soon after he was pulled into the rain. Myungsoo's grip around his delicate wrist tightened as he struggled. 'Why is he being so stubborn today? Usually he listens to me,' Sungjong thought. If only...
...
Sungjong was on his feet with a perplexed expression. The thoughts troubled him. Something inside him told him he should just do what the other had asked him before. Maybe he should enjoy it. Myungsoo mumbled, "Stop looking so confused. I just want to dance with you".
"Fine. What shall we dance to?" Sungjong spoke softly, he felt his cheeks tingle.
The rain drops had made Myungsoo's hair damp and Sungjong felt his own hair become heavy as it captured the drops of water. "Just go with the flow," Myungsoo replied smiling.
It was that stupid smile that made Sungjong warm inside, even the cool rain didn't stand a chance against that kind of warmth. "ummm," nodded Sungjong.
Myungsoo removed his hand from Sungjong's wrist and held his hand. He did the same with the other hand and moved backwards. Then he spun around and so did Sungjong. Some of the rain bounced of their shoulders as they spun while most of it made their cloths wet. The rain started to shower heavily creating hissing noises. It became a pleasant song as the two spun more faster. "Woohooo!" Myungsoo cheered.
Sungjong laughed at Myungsoo but he still found it cute. They started to slow down and then stopped completely. "I feel dizzy now," Myungsoo laughed.
"It was your idea to spin," Sungjong replied.
'Wish it lasted longer. I was having fun' Sungjong thought when Myungsoo released one of his hand leaving it to dangle. Myungsoo placed his hand on Sungjong's waist, shocking him.
Myungsoo went closer until their bodies were inches apart, all Sungjong could do was widen his eyes and breath deeply but quietly. He didn't want Myungsoo to know the closeness between them was affecting him. His waist where Myungsoo's hand was felt fuzzy and warm. He avoided Myungsoo's eyes and looked towards his left seeing the rain shine and glimmer as the street lights hit it. It was late evening, just passed six but the clouds blocked out the last few rays of sunlight making everything look dark. For once the darkness didn't seem boring, but beautiful to Sungjong.
Myungsoo moved to the left making Sungjong move too. Realisation hit Sungjong and so he placed his free hand on Myungsoo's shoulder. The grey shirt felt wet under his hands but that didn't bother him. He was too busy, slowly swaying side to side, following Myungsoo's lead. His breathing became calm as he was gracefully moving with Myungsoo. Myungsoo took a step to the side and so did Sungjong. Then he moved back and the other forward, then to the side again and then forwards and so it continued. Myungsoo
raised his hand and Sungjong spun. Water flew out of his blond hair, hitting Myungsoo's face but it was to his liking. Still a smile was not evident on Myungsoo's face that Sungjong had, instead his eyes looked glossy again. Sungjong failed to notice as he twirled. Myungsoo shut his eyes and opened them, doing it a few times.
Once Sungjong stopped turning Myungsoo positioned both his hands on the blonds waist and pulled him closer. Sungjong moved forward hesitating a bit and placed both his hands on Myungsoo's shoulders. He felt Myungsoo's heated breath caress his face in the most sweetest ways. He looked up and was met with dark brown cryptic eyes. The brunets fringe was soaked now and water dripped from it. 'You look so charming but mysterious as well. What are you hiding behind those eyes? Tell me' Sungjong asked, inside his mind. He couldn't say it out loud. His heart was beating fast right now and there was a knot in his stomach. However he still looked deeply onto Myungsoo's eyes. They were so close he could see each individual eye lash and those few that crossed over. Rain drops fell between the two. One particular drop landed on the brunettes cheek bone, right next to his eye. Sungjong's eyes followed it as it trickled down slowly on the others wet cheek. It looked like a tear making Sungjong despise it. He had the urge to wipe it off but his hands wouldn't move from the shoulders they were on. It was as if they were glued there. The rain drop reached the others chin and then dripped down. 'Why does it pain me so much?' Sungjong thought.
Myungsoo moved his head close to the blonds making him gasp. Alarms were going off inside the younger boys brain and he shoulders became tense. He could hear his heartbeat. It mixed in with the sputtering and hissing of the rain and the sound it made when hitting the trees. It sounded like music. He was panicking but strangely he felt as if he belonged there, with Myungsoo, in the rain as it sang for them. Myungsoo bent down slightly and moved his hands to Sungjong's thighs, wrapping them securely. Sungjong had no time to wonder what was happening as he was lifted of the ground. He gripped Myungsoo's shoulder tightly afraid to fall. Nether of the two uttered a word, only looked at each other for a while. They both were completely drenched but none complained. This moment was important... to Sungjong at least.
"Am I really that good looking? because you're staring at my face. Maybe I should ask Lizzy out?" Myungsoo questioned.
Sungjong felt embarrassed but angry as well. He felt like whacking Myungsoo with a steel pan. 'That should knock some sense into him' he thought. He was just his best friend nothing more nothing less. He hoped Myungsoo would stop showering him with affection, which fooled Sungjong into thinking there was something more between them. "I know I'm handsome and all, but look up and let go of my shoulders. I promise I wont let you fall, princess," Myungsoo said smirking at his last word.
'I really need that steel pan' the blonde thought blushing. Blindly trusting Myungsoo he looked up and detached his hands from his shoulders. The rain hit his face as he looked up. He let his hands spread across the air causing the raindrops to hit his arms. His stripey shirt clung onto his skin, revealing his hidden frail body. The rain hit his lips, like before but several times now. The sensation felt strange, but there was another feeling as well. He couldn't quite put his finger on it. "How does it feel like to kiss the rain?" Myungsoo asked while looking up at Sungjong.
He saw a rain drops role down Sungjong's chin and then land on his own lip. That single drop made him feel satisfied and complete. Little did he know it was a rain drop that was on Sungjong's lip a few seconds ago. "It feels strange.. and something.. else... I don't know what," Sungjong answered honestly.
He felt something that's for sure but he didn't what it was, all he knew that it didn't feel bad. Myungsoo didn't mind the answer he got. Sungjong was being honest and that's all that mattered. He made sure his grip around Sungjong was tight and then he whirled around. Sungjong laughed as they twirled. The wind tugged on the trees and moved pass the two. Lightning struck and lit up the sky creating Sungjong's silhouette. He looked like a flying angle for those few milliseconds. It may have lasted a moment in the present, but I will stay in Myungsoo's memories forever, in that corner which belonged to a beautiful boy, his dearest... friend. Soon the sound of thunder was heard but it didn't sound frightening or destructive. It was more like an applause for the two perfect dancers in the rain. It was an applause from heaven. An applause for completing things before anything could be altered.
The rain started to slow down and the sound became softer. The sputtering had reduced and the hissing had stopped. Dripping could be heard. Then it was quiet. The song had ended. Sungjong was brought to the ground with care. Myungsoo's arms were back on Sungjong's waist, and the blonds on his shoulders. Myungsoo advanced forwards and rested his forehead against Sungjong's. He could clearly see the love Sungjong had for him. The younger thought he was doing a good job hiding it but Myungsoo knew, after all he knew him since they were toddler. Right now Sungjong's breath was deep and his cheeks were rosy. The one thing that stood out was his eyes. Myungsoo could tell that his eyes held a lot of love for him. It was innocent love. If Myungsoo was to return Sungjong's love, he knew Sungjong would never cheat on him. Only if Myungsoo was to return his love.
Myungsoo inhaled the angles breath and blinked, it smelled sweet and innocent. 'Innocence smells sweet and clear,' he thought. He rolled his head a bit more so that his nose touched Sungjong's. It was cold and moist from the rain. From the corner of his eyes he saw the shorter boys shoulders raise, holding his breath. Sungjong looked anywhere but at Myungsoo. 'You're not doing a good job hiding it Lee Sungjong. You must think I'm very dense to not notice your feelings,' Myungsoo thought, smiling. Sungjong closed his eyes. 'Silly, I'm not going to kiss you,' he thought and his smiled disappeared. His eyes became glossy again as he looked at the other, whose eyes were closed. Myungsoo moved his head from Sungjong's and put it on the crook of his neck hugging the blonde tightly around the waist, bringing thier bodies together. He breathed in and there is was again, that innocent scent. He could hear Sungjong's heart racing. Myungsoo spoke, "I should go home now. Dry your hair, OK? I don't want to come to your house tomorrow and see you sneezing".
He lips grazed Sungjong collar bone as he voiced out each word. Sungjong shivered and shuddered, only humming in agreement. He couldn't trust his words. Myungsoo felt Sungjong tighten his grip on his shoulders. He liked how much effect he had on the beautiful boy, but he knew he shouldn't have purposely put his lips above the boys collar bone. He shouldn't have purposely played with the boys feelings. Sungjong doesn't deserve it. Still Myungsoo couldn't help himself, after all he...
....
The next day Sungjong felt fine. Well he did do as Myungsoo said and dried his hair when he got inside. No one was at home today so he could so whatever he liked. He remembered what happened yesterday evening, or night, when Myungsoo left and he blushed. In the end Myungsoo looked at him and then cupped his face. Myungsoo planted a quick kiss on his forehead and ruffled his hair. It was a chaste kiss. Sungjong savored every moment of that simple kiss. Myungsoo then whispered a small bye and left, just like the rain.
It was almost seven pm and Myungsoo hadn't come yet. "Stupid idiot didn't even reply to my text", sighed Sungjong.
Sungjong was pacing up and down his room. He then stormed down the stairs and went to his front porch. He decided, 'As soon as I see him I'm going to strangle him'. He touched his collar bone and then his forehead. He could still feel his lips making Sungjong embarrassed. The sun had gone down, it became night and the sky was cloudy. Sungjong took out his phone and check the time 'eight eighteen' he thought. When he put his phone back into his pocket, it rang. He took it out in a hurry, and rushed to see the caller ID. It was Myungsoo. Sungjong picked it up instantly and shouted, "Where the hell are you? With Lizzy?".
"It's not... hyung. It's Moonsoo," Moonsoo spoke.
His voice sounded off.
"Oh. Where's Myungsoo? Tell him I'm very angry with him," Sungjong said pouting.
"I...I, can't. He... passed away... in his sleep..his cancer. H..hyung,' Moonsoo cried.
Sungjong didn't say anything in return. He was still, like a doll. From the other end of the phone he could hear Moonsoo whisper hyung. He just listened. His whole body felt numb it was as if he wasn't living anymore. He was a living corpse. His life had been snatched from him. Suddenly something inside him snapped and a tear rolled down his cheek. It was followed by many more. He cried and cried. Myungsoo left him. He felt a sting in his heart. It burnt. His head felt heavy and his arms felt weak. His grip on his phone loosened. A slam was heard but Sungjong didn't notice, he was too lost in agony. He could almost hear his pain play with his heart. It hurt so much. His legs felt weak as he stepped down the stairs of his porch. When he stood on the grass his legs gave in. He came crashing down, just like his heart. Both his hands were placed on the grass and his back was hunched. His tears just wouldn't stop. He tried to hold in his pain by closing his palms tightly but it was useless. He was finding it hard to breath. His head hurt, his body hurt and his heart...hurt. He regret not helping Myungsoo with homework. He regret all the little fights he had with Myungsoo. But most of all, he regretted not telling Myungsoo about his feelings. Everything felt painful. His tears burnt his skin as it trickled down his cheek. His face was boiling because of his tears. Why did Myungsoo have to leave him? He hoped everything was just a joke, a big lie and tomorrow, Myungsoo would return to him, in his arms, smiling that stupid smile. But Moonsoo never cried. The reality was that Myungsoo had gone and he would never return. Sungjong gasped for air as he cried. His lungs were crying for oxygen, like he was for Myungsoo.
"Myungsoo, I... love...y..you," Sungjong choked.
Sungjong felt something land on his hand but he didn't pay attention to it, he just, cried. He felt it again and again, then he looked at his hand. It was wet. It was rain. Sungjong raised his hand up and saw the rain fall on his palm. He remembered what happened the day before and closed his hands into a small fist crying out loudly. He missed him.
The rain fell heavily on Sungjong. It quickly made him wet but he sat there. He hated the rain but strangely it felt comforting. It was as if he was being showered with love and affection. Each rain drop that fell, felt soothing. His body became a bit relaxed and he gained a bit of strength. Getting up on his feet he looked up. The rain landed on his face and gently wiped away his tears. He closed his eyes and stretch out his arms making the rain hit it. He felt like he was being hugged.
The rain landed on his lips. "Myungsoo, I love you," he whispered.
Instantly lighting flashed and thunder rumble soon after. He could feel the rain on his lips and he realised it. That feeling. He kissed the rain and he did feel strange but, he also felt that other feeling. It was love. He felt love when he kissed the rain, even before, with Myungsoo, and now. For the first time he agreed that rain symbolise love, just like Myungsoo said, not pain.
'Myungsoo did. He did' Sungjong thought.
AN: did you guys figure out Myungsoo's feelings?
This is my first fic, well one shot. I hope you guys liked it. I put a lot of effort into writing this :).
I was inspired by 'Kiss the rain' by Yiruma. I came across a comment on youtube that said he/she ranched to the rain with his/her best friend and the next day they found out their friend died of cancer. I just twisted it a bit into Sungjong liking his best friend: Myungsoo. I hope that person doesn't mind me writing it based on their story. I tried to find the comment and ask for permission but I can't find it. I hope I'm forgiven.
If there are any grammatical errors then I'm sorry. I did go over it.
Thank you for reading. Hope you liked it. Keep shipping Myungjong! (●´∀｀●)
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