“We’re living under the same sky, so it isn’t like I’ll never see you again”

Jaejoong, Yoochun and Changmin watched as Junsu only wrapped his arms around Yunho even tighter with those words.

Changmin shifts a little, uneasy as he grabs Jaejoong’s and Yoochun’s arms, pulling them away from Yunho and Junsu, “we should, give them some space”

Nodding, both Jaejoong and Yoochun looked back at Junsu and wondered why fate could turn so cruel.

As if he could read his hyung’s mind, Changmin said softly, “you make your own fate”, before he hastily walked ahead.

“Don’t want to let you go”, Yunho murmured

“Don’t want to say goodbye”, Junsu replied.

“I wish I was your everything”, Yunho laughed half-heartedly, wondering how much closer he could bring Junsu to his chest.

“I’m sorry”, Junsu frowned into Yunho’s white shirt before he looked up into Yunho’s eyes and whispered painfully “I love you”

Yunho closes his eyes and does not look when he feels Junsu detach from his embrace. He could hear the other’s light footsteps running down the corridor and out of the door. He didn’t want to see Junsu leave, that’s all.

.

.

.

“He’s irreplaceable.” Junsu muttered, shaking his head with misery.

“Calm down, Junsu”, Jaejoong tells the flustered other, grabbing Junsu’s shoulders, hoping that the action would stop distressing the younger man “we know he’s irreplaceable”

Junsu looks up at Jaejoong sceptically

“Because he’s irreplaceable for us too”, Jaejoong states, looking worriedly at Junsu “Both Yunho and Changmin”

“I...”, Junsu starts, head looking down at his toes “I can’t replace him...”

“That’s because you love him” Jaejoong whispers, carefully patting Junsu’s head like he would with a child

“Why is it so painful?”

“It’ll only be even more painful as you try to find ways to replace him”, Jaejoong explained, wishing that Junsu’s tears would stop.

“Everytime...everytime I close my eyes, all I see is Yunho-hyung”, Junsu squeezed his eyes, the tears were burning with his confusion. “It was never so painful before...”Junsu took in a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm himself down, “I don’t even know if we have the same dreams anymore...”

Jaejoong does not say anything as he continues to comfort the sobbing Junsu. He didn’t have the answers Junsu was searching for. And all he can do is pray that Junsu will not regret the decisions he has made.

.

.

.

“Hello, we are Tohoshinki”

Yoochun paused at the voice. It was Junsu. Yoochun frowned as he heard Junsu repeat himself. Why the duck- was introducing himself as ‘Tohoshinki’ he did not really want to think about it.

Looking around the corner, Yoochun could see Junsu looking into a mirror in his room.

“Hello, we are Tohoshinki” Junsu smiled before bowing towards the mirror.

Yoochun felt like crying, seeing his friend like that. He could only imagine what was going on inside of Junsu’s head. The desperate longing to be 5 again. The hope that they will all stand on stage together and once more introduce themselves as ‘Tohoshinki’. The excruciating wait to sing together, to laugh together.

He wondered if Jaejoong knew that Junsu was imagining a future where the five of them were together again. He wondered if Changmin knew that Junsu was waiting. He wondered if Yunho knew that Junsu really wants them to be happy. Yoochun lightly scolded himself when he remembered that there was no way the others wouldn’t know. They were each other’s pride after all.

.

.

.

“I want to see you”, Junsu bites his lips and looks down at his lap before he looks back up at the picture of Yunho “I really want to see you”

.

.

.

Junsu makes a ‘W’ with his hands, he looks up at Yunho, making sure the other is watching before he flexes his fingers out a little, as though he were attaching wings to the ‘W’ he made with his hands. Junsu brings his fingers back together to the original ‘W’ he made, but he doesn’t stop there, keeping his thumbs in place, his fingers slowly invert inwards and stops when his index fingers touch each other.

Giving Yunho a cute smile, Junsu manoeuvres his hands, flipping his fingers down so that his former ‘W’ has now become a heart. There is no need to say anything, Junsu thinks, Yunho understands him, understands that he is ready to keep moving forward with all the consequences, with all the emotions invoked. And as he climbs the stairs and shapes his own future, he would not forget to treasure the space Yunho occupies in his heart even though everything has that possibility of changing. Keep in mind that I love you.

Yunho pulls Junsu forward into a natural embrace. “You were shining so brightly”, Yunho’s hold on Junsu’s hand tightens “so brightly.”

Junsu gives the other a shy smile, loving the way Yunho’s fingers lace so perfectly with his own

“There was no way I would not find you again”, Yunho looks into Junsu’s eyes and tells him “I love you.”