“I’ve been feeling a little tired recently” Junsu spoke into his phone.

“Have you not been resting enough?” Yunho speaks softly as he peels open a 2 minute noodle packet.

Junsu sighed as he shifted his position in his bed “I’m resting now”

“Go get some sleep, you shouldn’t be calling” Yunho lightly scolds, worried.

“I was talking to my brother before, and then I realised I haven’t heard your voice all day today” Junsu holds his head a little “my head is ringing”

“You don’t have enough sleep” Yunho bit his lips “You need to take care of yourself, health is priority.”

“Hyung, I think I’ll be okay after a couple of days” Junsu murmured into his phone “I wish, I wish you were here with me, life would be perfect.”

--

“Hello? Su?” Yunho asks as his call is answered

“He’s sick” Jaejoong’s shaky voice reaches Yunho’s ears.

“Eh?” Yunho looks blankly at his blank wall

“He’s been hospitalised” Yoochun’s quiet voice reaches Yunho’s ear.

“No” Yunho speaks, in a daze.

“He fainted, it’s a fever and fatigue” Jaejoong sighs “we’ve tried so many hospitals, ten, twenty, maybe even more” The older man runs a hand through his hair “we’ve got him under the best care”

Yunho does not speak for a while, letting the information sink “You all better be taking better care of your health.” Carefully, Yunho pulls out his schedule for the next couple of days, hoping to find a free day, a day where he can fly over to LA, a day where he can sit next to Junsu and hold his hand. The leader throws his schedule across the room when he finds that his timetable is fuller than packed.

“I feel like killing someone” Yunho says, voicing out his thoughts.

Jaejoong blinks before he gives Yoochun a ‘what do you think’ look

“He’s probably talking about himself” Yoochun whispers softly to Jaejoong.

Yunho doesn’t hear Yoochun’s words, but he knows the answer already.

--

Yunho doesn’t pray. Yet he finds himself beside his bed at night, kneeling, facing his window, his eyes closed and hands clasped together tightly; praying. He doesn’t know how to pray, it was never something he was comfortable with, something he was most definitely not familiar with. And to whom he was praying to, he doesn’t even know himself.

But that’s all he can do now.

Pray.

And so Yunho prays, he prays for Junsu’s quick recovery, prays for the other’s health, for the other’s happiness, for the other’s smile. Yunho prays, he prays for the day he can see Junsu again.

--

Junsu blinks and stares at the white walls that surround him. He never liked hospitals, and he wasn’t going to start. Slowly, he traces the friendship ring he shared with Eunhyuk that sits on his index finger. It was a little lonely.

Weakly, Junsu picks up his phone, his limbs sore and his head still ringing in pain. He calls.

“Hyung~” Junsu drawls out sorely when the phone picks up.

“Su?” Yunho asks, a little afraid, desperate “Are you feeling better?”

“I am, I am feeling worse, I think” Junsu mumbles, cringing as his eyes can settle on nothing but white.

“Junsu!?” Eunhyuk’s voice rings into Junsu’s ear

“Hyukjae!?” Junsu gasps, not expecting to hear the Super Junior member’s voice

“Yah! Do you know how worried everyone has been over you!?” Eunhyuk screams into the phone he had instantly grabbed out of Yunho’s hands “I can’t believe you can’t take of yourself when either one of Junho, Yunho-hyung and I aren’t by your lousy side!”

Eunhyuk takes a glance at Yunho and Changmin before looking away, ignoring their silent actions to tell Hyukjae to lower his voice.

“Hyukjae...” Junsu feels his cheeks heat up, whether it was from his fever, he wasn’t sure “I’m too tired to disagree with you”

“Tch, whatever” Eunhyuk clicks his tongue scornfully “I’m just glad you’re okay” he whispers before he quickly hands the phone to the maknae.

“Junsu-hyung?” Changmin speaks hesitantly into Yunho’s cell phone

“Ah, Changmin?” Junsu places a hand on his forehead and presses lightly “Are you doing well?”

“You sound so worn out, hyung” Changmin speculates “I think I’m doing better than you right now, mentally and physically”

Junsu laughs, his voice hoarser than before “That’s no joke”

Changmin smiles “I’ll pass the phone back to Yunho-hyung, overseas calls are expensive.”

“Yunho-hyung?” Junsu speaks slowly into the phone, his voice rasping

“What is it, Su?” Yunho asks, content with just idly speaking with the other.

“I don’t want to miss the World Cup”

“Su, that’s...” Yunho’s voice trails thinly “...you won’t miss the match”

“I want to be watching with you” Junsu reminisces “with Hyukjae and Junho too”

“Mmmhmm~” Yunho acknowledges, understanding on the tip of his lips.

“I want to cuddle with Yunho-hyung” Junsu giggles softly, tiredly “eating vanilla ice cream together”

And Yunho covers his mouth and closes his eyes. There’s a rock sinking towards the bottom of his heart.

“Calling from overseas is expensive” Junsu bit his lips lightly and closed his eyes “But I wish I could, I still want to spend more time with you.”

And Yunho wonders if Junsu is crying with him.

--

Junsu prays. He prays before meals, when he wakes and before he sleeps. He prays for success, fulfilment. He prays for something and nothing. He prays for more smiles and less tears. He prays for forever knowing it will never come. He prays for his future and for his past. He hopes that he can be given the chance to act upon what he learnt from the past in the future.

It’s aspiration.

Pray.

He lifts is head and is faced with even more endless white. Junsu blinks once more and draws a blank. He prays for another chance.

--

“I wish I could come see you now” Yunho whispered into his phone “I wish I could fly over to where you are now”

“Hyung, don’t” Junsu weakly whispered back into his own phone “even if there weren’t so many seas, oceans and continents separating us...”

Yunho gulped, having a vague idea of what Junsu was going to say next

“Even if you were here right by my side” Junsu continued, his voice already shaking, he knew what he was going to say next. But it didn’t mean he would like to say it, that he would like to say it to someone so precious.

“It’s not possible” Yunho stated, finishing Junsu’s sentence for him “We, you and me, it’s not possible, right?”

Junsu nodded, knowing that even though Yunho couldn’t see him nod, he could most definitely feel the nod “perhaps it would work if we, if you and I were in another world, a different time, with another you and another me”

--

Yunho reaches out to hold Junsu’s hands gently. Carefully he lifts the beautiful pair of hands to his lips and leaves the softest and simplest kiss on the pale skin.

“Su” Yunho acknowledges the shorter man, a smile on his face.

“Hyung” Junsu says, treading carefully, feeling that there was something different about Yunho.

“If I’m just Yunho” Yunho holds Junsu’s hands tightly “And you are just Junsu”

“Hm?” Junsu gives the other a puzzled look

“In our own world, at our own pace...” Yunho rubs his fingers against Junsu’s hand lovingly as he talks “Another you and another me” Yunho speaks softly “can’t we be together then?”

Junsu gives the other a blank look before his features slowly brighten, his lips turning into a sincere smile as he buried himself into Yunho’s welcoming embrace.

“So long as it’s this you and this me, you will still be U-KNOW Yunho and I will still be Xiah Junsu.” Junsu looked up into Yunho’s eyes and told him directly, strongly with a tinge of longing and sadness “There is no another you or another me.”

Hyung, it’s not possible.