Super Junior M - Goodbye My Love (Korean Ver.)

A stranger who’s looking at her intensely not far from where she was standing had made her squinted in wonder. What made her felt more stunned was he didn’t even look away or twitch when their eyes suddenly met. Different from him, she shivered when she felt this swift rush that ran through her spine when he stared at his piercing eyes. A pair of glasses stuck onto his tall nose, his face was flawless, still. He flashed a weak smile with eyes still glued on hers. 

‘Hana-ya.’

Snapped, the girl turned to the voice calling her name.

‘Oh, why?’

‘Let’s go.’ She could feel her mother caught her small wrist and pulled her into the auditorium. As she passed through the huge door, Hana managed to turn back and catch a glimpse of the stranger. He’s still there, but now his head was hung low, eyes were locked onto a piece of paper in his hands.

He still looked perfect to Hana’s eyes till she lost the sight of him when she got into the spacious hall. How weird.

Hana’s eyes were always droopy whenever she entered the dark auditorium that she thought that it could be her second sleeping place right after her bed. The movie’s not even started yet but she’s already feeling drowsy as soon after the lights were turned off.

Every Friday night, she’d go to this place and watch old boring movies with her mother. Well, her mother would prefer the term ‘classic’ rather than old but to Hana, it’s just…old. Her father surely refused to go and that’s just left with her to accompany her recovering mother to have some pleasant time to somewhere that could make her feel better. That’s what the doctor’s encouraged her to do.

Two years since she’d lost her dearest brother in an accident. Everybody’s sad and moved on but not her mother. She’s still in her healing process.

She automatically closed her eyes when she heard her mother, blabbering on how excited and thrilled she was about the movie. When Hana did, her ears and mind were already shut off from the real world, off to dreamland where she lie on the clouds without feeling any worry at all.

‘Such a nice place to have a nap, right?’

She twitched, opening her eyes at that deep voice from beside her. Even though it’s dark but the light coming from the projector, Hana could recognize the face. That rush came to her again when he saw his face up close. Embarrassed, she straightened her position and kept her face straight.

‘The movie’s fun.’ She blurted out of nowhere.

‘Oh, that’s weird. I watched this before but as far as I know, the ending’s not as fun like you said it was…’

Hana scrunched her face in embarrassment. It felt hot and she felt like burying herself inside a hole at his comment. She never watched the movie, in fact any of the classic movies there was. She just basically slept in the midst of watching them.

‘I’ve been watching you. You seem to come here and love to watch movies like this, right?’ He asked.

‘No, it’s my mother actually.’ She answered, gesturing to the spot to her right where her mother was already immersed in watching. Sometimes, she would lip sync the lines from the movie because she practically remembered them.

‘Oh, okay.’

No words were spoken right after that although Hana was dying to come up with another topic to talk about. She’d glance secretly at him just to see that he’s already shifting his attention to the movie which Hana wasn’t even know what’s going on with the lead characters.

Hana just felt like she wanted to talk to him. It’s like there’s something that’s drawing her to him. And his handsome features were one of the factors.

The movie ended with tears and Hana’s mother was one of the teary audiences. The lights were and finally, Hana could see the stranger’s face clearly. Flawless, nuff said.

‘Em, hey.’ After she mustered her courage, he called out to him when they got out of the hall.

‘What’s your name?’

***

‘Zhoumi-ssi.’

‘Uh?’

‘It’s nice in here, right?’

‘Yeah.’

There’s a long pause after that. Hana was appreciating every single second she was with him, watching movies together like they used to when they first met.

‘Hana-ssi.’ This time, he’s the one who called her name, squeezing her hand tight.

There’s this rush again. To Hana, it never wore off since these past three years. It’s exactly the same way she felt during the first time they met eyes with each other.

‘I shouldn’t have talked to you three years ago. No, I shouldn’t even have looked at you before. I-I’m sorry.’

His words of apology woke Hana from her dreams, from the bliss of being in his warm and welcoming arms. She looked up to his sad face, tears pooling in her eyes.

‘No, don’t say that.’ She scooted closer and buried herself in his chest, so close that their lips would instantly touch if she looked up to his face again.

‘I love you, Hana.’

She opened her eyes to a very familiar room, dark and cold. She was alone, she knew and that fact hurt her heart so bad that she instantly cried.

It was a dream. But it felt so real. Hana cursed herself for waking up and pulled her sheets up to her chin, the feeling of being left behind and lonely coated her heart so thick that she felt like suffocating. She stared at the empty spot beside her where he used to lie down and pulled her into his arms.  Tears couldn’t stop falling down her eyes making her pillow all wet.

She cried again, like the every usual night she had.

***

‘Hana-ya, you’re not tired waiting here all day?’

‘No. You can go now, Unnie. I want to be alone.’

The bright lady nodded to her friend’s request and stood up, leaving her alone by the seashore. Gentle breeze accompanied Hana as she sat on the sand, staring emptily at the waves. He said that they’d meet here someday, he promised.

It’s already three years but she never got tired. She’d stay here, waiting for him every Sunday morning and she would sit on the beach until lunch or sometimes even until dinner. People said that he’s already dead but she didn’t believe them. Call her mad or whatever but she didn’t care.

Screw them.

Her thoughts flew to their memories together. The way he tried to make everything feel less awkward whenever she called him, the way they joked and the rush that she felt when he was close and that swift gust turned into a bigger sensation when he wrapped his arms around her small waist and kissed her lips tenderly.

How she missed those days.

Everything started to fall apart when he said that he would leave on that one rainy night. Yes, he called for a break up so suddenly that she laughed it off at first but when he didn’t laugh along, Hana started to feel scared.

Without saying goodbye, he just left.

Hana took a deep breath and stood up. This heartache, she thought the she couldn’t bear it any longer and started to walk slowly towards the sea. The waves, it’s as if they’re calling for her, it’s as if Zhoumi himself was calling for her. To her, this life didn’t mean anything if he’s not here by her side.

She could only close her eyes and let her body and soul to be engulfed into the heartless waves. It choked her but she couldn’t think of anything but him and till her last breath, his face was the last thing that she saw and he’s reaching out to her so that they’d be together till eternity.

“I know you exist, Zhoumi. To me, you always do.”

***

‘Your daughter’s still traumatized from her brother’s loss. Her mind’s probably unstable and she’s seeing things and feeling weird stuffs. Don’t worry, we’ll give her medicines.’

‘What should we do, doc?’

‘Take her somewhere she loves. I talked to Hana earlier and she said that she loved watching classical movies. That would help, a lot.’

Hana didn’t shudder and continued to stare at the windows as the needle penetrated her skin.

The movies, that’s where the she first saw and talked to him.

***

‘Face it, Hana-ssi. We can’t be together.’

‘Why?’

‘I-I’m not allowed to fall for someone like you. They don’t want us to be together. Before something bad happens, I think I should go.’

‘Zhoumi-ssi!’

‘Thank you so much for the feelings. I love you, Hana.’

He hung up, leaving the shattered girl breathless. Her heart hurt so much that she felt like she couldn’t take another steady breath.

Hana squeezed her eyes shut.

That fact hurt her, the fact that he’s just a delusion, merely a dream that gave her ultimate hope and happiness which suddenly turned into a horrible nightmare.

That man, he’s the most perfect illusion.

*Okay, the random-est pairing ever. lol But they kinda look cute together xDD So, who guessed right? No one, I'm 100%sure. trololol So, I hope you enjoy reading even though it's very angsty XP I'm very zinger-ish nowadays, don't know why. lol >.< Hope this will cure my writer's block.