As glamourous as reality

I will find you forever

As Taeyeon thought it would be, the fittings were not the glamourous step each new girl would expect at all. For endless moments, she had to stand and not to move as the assistants were busy around her. She was hungry and all they proposed her was champagne. People from that strange world were barely eating. She was no used to such costums.

 

With hunger and the posture which happened to become unbearable, she had to focus on her whole professional conciousness not to nervously breakdown and to keep on smiling and looking relaxed. What Taeyeon was daydreaming about along those endless hours was one one bibimbap bowl full of rice and meat and a good fresh beer... However, along with that terrible part, there was a positve part. At least, she was never thinking about anything hurtful.

 

In life, it's good to see the bright side of things. It helps going forward. That was what she was repeating to herself each time she was about to lose her marbles. Each time deep inside her, all that she wanted was to crumble in her bed and to complain until the world ended. Of how much her feet hurt. And her back. And ... And her heart.

 

For all this time, she barely have seen her childhood friend. Seong Ho kept on wandering from one room to another, always asked, always in a rush. She knew about that... When she was promotting with the band, they always had to live in the fast lane. Here right here, out there in a few moments. Fast, fast, fast. Always faster. And faster and faster again. However, Taeyeon have hoped. She have hoped Seong Ho to stop at least from time to time, just for her. He was his own boss, after all, wasn't he? Of course, she was not aware of the stakes which this fashion show was all about.

 

She had wear the dress behind a screen, helped by the assistants and during the next hours, they had rushed around her, barely talking to her. They had recut the dress, fixed up the bustier, especially at the chest level but with the precious rocks on it, it was kind of delicate. The assistants had warned her : she would surely need some padding. No need to tell her what she already knew. She was far from the goddesses curvy bodies.

 

Yet, one man did loved her curves. He had been delighted from it. He had it, kissed it, explored it. He had turned it into his territory, his own private playground. This body of hers maybe wasn't the one of a goddess but it had its song. How many fashion designers' assistants could boast about having a song dedicated to their bodies? None, she could have bet.

 

« On the verge of driving you crazy, loving you without a word. Again and again, until I get tangled into your warmth » People, the world, they didn't know about it. Those words were written for her. And it rocked her with a sweet warmth as much as it always hurt her more. This body in need of padding did not belong to anyone anymore, except a package of assistants. Except to an elusive creation, because it was unique and made to be just like a thunderlight in her life.

 

Taeyeon have felt it many times, the moment where the pins pierced the surface of her skin. It was probably unintentional. Probably... But she lived it as a call to order. To tell her to daydream about a good meal and to focus on the present instead of thinking about the past. And it was working.

 

Once done with the fittings, foolishly, Taeyeon thought she could get back to the hotel. Behind the screen, she dressed into her own clothes, alone. When it was not about the precious creation, she could manage by herself. She perfectly realized it right now : for people here, she was a nobody. The Parisian haute-couture world did not give a damn about who was Kim Taeyeon. She was nothing but just a little randaom Asian girl, not so lovely, here because the big boss knew her when they were younger. And many were probably saying she didn't deserve all the attention around her. She didn't deserve that superb dress.

 

In front of her, on the floor made of wood, her bag was, at the same spot as when she took off her clothes to slip her body inside that fashion jewel. No one had touched it and yet, she felt she needed to check out. Just in case. Squatting, she slipped her hand inside the opened crack, searching for something special.

 

It was not her wallet, not her passeport. It was not her smartphone, not her ipod. It was not a handkerchief. Not a diary. Scrabbling, her hands were roaming the leather, patient and careful. Until she felt the cold metal under her fingertips.

 

Taeyeon pulled her treasure out of her bag, making sure she would not waste it. To know she had it with her was not enough. She put the chain into her palms, watching it for a long while. The gold was still glossy. She was not kidding him. The ring was still hanging on it, its silverly reflections perfectly catching the light of day, even here where it was a little darker. She the round shape from her fingertips. Her heart was tighten. For having love too much and not being able to know how she could ever get rid of that overflow.

 

If she really wanted to get rid of that, of course.

 

"Taeyeon...?"

 

She started. She didn't think someone would come behind her back. Quickly, she put the jewel back in her bag, careful about not making it fall beside it. As she got up, she gave her friend one of her most charming smile.

 

As if he didn't know her well enough to see that, right before he stepped in, she was caught back by emotions that certainly was not joyful. As if he never have learned how to read her. Or as if he had forgotten.

 

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes, of course. I am ready. When do I have to go to the Carrousel for the show?"

"Well. Now. The preparation might take some time."

 

Taeyeon looked at the clock in front of her. The day has getting on. Her stomach was craying from hunger. Her back and her feet were demading clemency. But she had no choice, she got committed, she had to follow the rules and the procedure. So, she agrred, ready to follow Seong Ho wherever he wanted her to go.

 

That was a fact : no matter where she was, she had no choice. No one ever asked her if she was OK. She was obliged to follow the decisions made for her about anything. Schedules. Friends. What to wear. What to eat. To go here, to go there. To say this. To smile. To sing. To talk. To shut up. To dance. To wait. To stay. To leave.

 

Carrousel du Louvres. The place where you had to be in this new season of Parisian fashion shows. The place where Taeyeon was. Everything was going pretty fast.

 

The limo have drove along the Champs Elysées. Such as a little girl, at the window of her car, she had her eyes wide opened and the mouth as well. At each luxurious store names, she let out a sigh of admiration. Yet, a lot of those store names also were well established in Seoul... But it was different here. It looked different. She was in Paris. In a city where a lot of those fashion designers had their workshops. Probably the same workshops as those were she was earlier.

 

Then, place de la Concorde, Taeyeon furtively admired the fountains, known around the world for the movie "The Devil Wears Prada" and gazed upon the crowd rushing around, at the entrance of the jardin des Tuilleries. She have felt as if she was a little girl into a dream. As if this elusive fairytale Seong Ho promised her already has begun.

 

Along the rue Rivoli, she had tried to contemplate the famous garden. But the railings blocked her sight. A lot of people were walking beside it, not even aware of what was around them. Couldn't they see the beauty of the place they were living in? Tourists were rushing in front of the many boutiques at the other side of the street, under the stone archs. She quickly saw a Starbucks. The regular life of regular people. But it was enough to be amazed.

 

She had forgot about hunger plucking at her stomach. And her backache, as well. To have taking off her shoes in the limo helped to make at least disappear her feetache.

 

And then she arrived. And everything has followed up.

 

Of course, the building was impressive and overflowing with beauty. A rough yet proper and linear beauty. Yet not standardized. Yet, conventional. Taeyeon would have liked to stop, to discover the place in its whole but she could not. She quickly has been led to the room where the show would take place.

 

In the backstages, she has been explained. She had to walk a first time in her regular outfit. It was to test the lights. Then, there will going to be the run-through and she will had to wear her dress. The hair and makeup would come after that. She didn't even know how to walk on a catwalk but no one seemed to have thought about at least an express training. She had to rely on herself and this was nothing good for Taeyeon.

 

Stress took over and stopped her appetite. A cup of champagne? Yes, thank you, that would be nice.

 

He had an hesitation. He didn't come here to appear. He was here because he needed to get away, to see other persons. Not to think about the agency, the television blockade, the lawsuit, his brother, Yunho, Changmin, JYJ, the next tour... Her. Not to think about anything at all.

 

He knew it was impossible but was it a good reason to give in? To appear at such an event, he took the risk to set the lights on him, to get the limelights on his Parisian leak. Here because he knew no one when in fact, even here, he knew too much persons. In his hands with childish fingers, thin and round palms of pianist, there was his invitation card. He watched it for a long while. As his taxi as heading to there, he was trying to make up his mind. If he changed his mind, he could still be pretending to go to the teathre, even if he could barely speak english and go once the car would be gone. He would have a drink somewhere, on his own. Just like the other nights.

 

It didn't work. Why would it work tonight? Junsu made up his mind. He would go there but wouldn't go to the after party. Then, he would go back to his habits, the same he had since he arrived here. A good restaurant. To exert himself tirelessly in a trendy nightclub. Until tiredness comes along and he would crumble in his bed, his body emptied from all its substance. His mind too. And most important, his heart. His heart.

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Yep! I know I made you wait. I hope you guys liked it. If you did, please let me know! ♥

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ShinnyEffections #1
Chapter 1: kyaaa!! TaeSu!!
update soon pls~~