»Chapter 02 - Flowers Will Die

Myungsoo exhaled loudly as he watched Suzy hugging Woohyun’s arm. The view of her giggling and showing her white neat teeth while her eyes disappeared under her lid forming into two half moons, made him wondering why he hadn’t the courage to approach the couple and confess his love to her.

It has been the same old personality of him that prevented him from taking actions. Myungsoo was known to be a yes man. Whenever someone asked him to do something, he wouldn’t hesitate to agree, although he might get into troubles because of it. Refusing seemed not to belong in his vocabularies. One of the causes of his unrequited love towards Suzy was clearly this attitude, plus Suzy’s smile.

He simply wanted her to be happy.

Of course, she was happy when she’s near him, her closest friend, but she wasn’t as happy as when she was with Woohyun. At least that was what Myungsoo predicted through her smiles.

Countless times, Myungsoo called her in his dreams, stretching his arms out to hold her wrist, but effortless, he wasn’t able to do as his mind told him to do. He gave up trying to catch her attention because he knew; his love for her would stay one-sided. And to be honest, her laugh already satisfied him to the fullest. A sudden piercing pain was felt within him. He couldn't help but thinking if all his thoughts were just a lie to him. A lie to keep him from pursuing whom he truly loves. 

Myungsoo’s lips curled up slightly, as he saw Suzy waving at him and he lifted his hand up as a greeting. She was still the same woman he never regretted loving. He looked into her eyes that spoke joy. Why couldn't he be the one to bring her happiness? Why does it always have to be Woohyun? Wasn't he enough for her? He questioned himself brutally, without bothering the crack that was slowly growing in his heart.

Suzy and Myungsoo met each other in Middle School. The thirteen year old boy often watched the young Suzy. She was a warm hearted innocent girl who – just like him – mostly accepted any kind of request, however, if she disliked it and thought it was wrong, she would shook her head and told the opposite side that it wasn’t right. Myungsoo was amazed by it. She was helpful, but she knew when to say no and when to gratefully do what she could. As they were in the eighth grade, luck was on Myungsoo’s side and they were both in the same class. From then on, they started leaving the school together, Myungsoo to protect her because he admired her and Suzy just because she thought he was nice. Little by little they found it comfortable to be around each other and despite the continuously teasing from their friends, they enjoyed being together. After Myungsoo’s mate asked him if he had feelings for her, he started to think of Suzy in a different way than before. That admiration grew into a small crush and he had to admit that he no longer has a typical ‘friendship-like’ feeling.

They graduated after the ninth grade, but still kept contact. While Suzy worked hard for her debut as a solo artist, Myungsoo dreamt of being a song writer. Knowing that Suzy was a trainee in SL Entertainment, he aimed to work with her in that Entertainment. In the end they were able to work at the same label.

All those years, he kept silent about his feelings. He was the shoulder Suzy could cry on, but not the shoulder she would like to cry on in the first place. It had been Woohyun and would always been him. He very much wanted to let go but a little part of him refused to. A little part that was enough to make him change his mind.

“…do you want to come with us?”

“Mhm, seems like he won’t do it today.”

Myungsoo came back from his thoughts as he heard two women talking next to him. He asked himself since when they were there. He felt like his spirit was absent the whole time and only focused on Suzy.

“…beggar.”

Myungsoo turned his head as he heard a husky woman voice appeared.

 “Excuse me,” Myungsoo came to realization that the woman actually talked to him, “would you repeat it, please?”

“You look like a beggar, Mister. At least comb your hair before leaving. It looks ridiculous.” Jiyeon batted her eyelashes, scanning him from head to toe once again before eyeing his eyes.

Myungsoo appreciate the fact that someone'd actually take notice of him but was also offended at the same time. No matter how bad he looked, that was too much. He dragged a hand through his hair with a scrubbing motion, causing the short, dark strands to stand up in wild dishevelment. "I'm sorry but I don't think that would be considered as a concern to you."

"If that's what you think," she said sotto voce, taking another sip of the orange juice and faked a small smile before taking her leave with her friend. 

"You know that it was not nice?" The girl next to her frowned.

Jiyeon just shrugged regardlessly. "It's not my fault that he looks like a beggar, is it?"

Humiliating it was to have talked to her for quite a few minutes yet he knew nothing about her. Not her face nor her name. He stood rooted onto the ground watching them leaving. Roses, that word rolled of his tongue. He eyed the red planted roses along the edge of her black satin dress. He had to admit it, that dress suited her perfectly.

From the corner of his eyes, he spied something. It was probably left by her, he reasoned. He advanced forward to take a good look at it. His eyes widened when his vision got clearer. It was a comb. Now, he was unequivocally sure that it was her who left it. He raked through his hair again. "She doesn't plan to get it back, does she?" he held the comb, chuckling in amusement. 

The amusement did not last long when he saw Suzy smiling at Woohyun over his shoulder. He once thought that smile belonged to him; and only him. But what he just saw proved him wrong. Her smile was at the end of the cliff and he was about to lose it. He approached them with great hostility, which they did not appear to notice.

"Myungsoo, how was the party?" Suzy asked, cocking her head.

"Terrible."

That answer came unexpected, leaving Suzy standing rooted to the ground. Disorientated, she slid Myungsoo a concerned glance. He had never acted in this manner and what puzzled her the most was the glare he darted at Woohyun. She held back the questions that were triumphing over her mind, knowing this wasn't the right situation to do so.

"Oh," she let out an awkward smile, "so what's that in your hand?"

Myungsoo adverted his eyes from Woohyun to the comb he was holding. "Just a little gift from a lady who said I looked like a beggar."

"How rude." A frown pucker Suzy's forehead. 

"At least she tells me the truth. And, the truth is all I want to hear from someone," he looked into his eyes. He felt lost. Yet, without them, he wanted to be lost within them again. "I'll get going now."

"Alright. Goodbye," she waved at Myungsoo dismissively before turning to Woohyun and continuing their previous conversation. Somehow, Myungsoo felt like a third wheel between them.

Or maybe worse. 

Seeing her being happy made him wonder why he was there in the first place. He vaguely remembered he was sitting on his chair with crumpled papers towering over him while his head lay on the desk. The comeback of Suzy was in a few months and Myungsoo had to prepare a somewhat chatchy song text about love. Oh, the thing about love... didn't matter how long he pondered about the lyrics, in the end it's all about a broken hearted person. He seemed not to be able write even the most decent cute love song which is quite popular in Japan. His words started all happy and content, but nearing the bridge, it trailed off into the opposite of what it should've been.   

I know you're somewhere out there. Somewhere far away. I want you back, I want you back. My neighbours think I'm crazy but they don't understand. You're all I have, you're all I have. The familiar melody vibrated Suzy's eardrum. "Oh, this is my favourite song!" she exclaimed, without knowing the lyrics were exactly words Myungsoo wished to convey. "Let's dance, Woohyun."

To Suzy's disappointment, Woohyun kept stealing glances in the direction of the table bar and didn't focus on the girl who waited for his attention for years. It was hard to approach Woohyun and it took a while until he could talk to her without any flirty remarks that he only saved for several women. The decision of asking him, if he could conceive having a relationship with her, was definitely one of the toughest she ever did. She was more than gleeful as he agreed.

Their body swayed along the rhythm, steps matching each other's, just like dancing in front of a mirror. The only different was the person standing before her was who she loved most dearly. She couldn't bring herself to look at him. His eyes were shrouded with excruciating pain. One glance was enough to cut her to the heart.

However, she couldn't deny the warmth he sent by laying his hand on her slim waist was exceptionally soothing. She loved feeling him around her, despite the fact that she had no place in his heart. Yet, she was determined to make that fantasy a reality some day. Facing her fear, she lifted her gaze to meet Woohyun's.

"I love you," she mouthed. But it seemed as if the man in front of her didn't notice her words at all. Suzy opened to say it louder, but unfortunately he didn't even look at her.

At the sight of the empty seat beside the bar, Woohyun turned his back towards Suzy wordlessly. He did it once again, breaking Jiyeon's heart. 

"Damn it," he cursed under his breath, leaving Suzy standing alone watching him walking off.

The door of a tea shop lying somewhere far away from the downtown was opened by Jiyeon who gasped for air, and looked around to find the person she had a date with. Jiyeon lifted her fingers to comb her long wavy hair the cold knife-sharp wind messed up. She groaned quietly as she found several snares.

“Good evening, Jiyeon,” a full manly voice whispered right behind her frozen ears and she immediately jerked up and whirled around to see who on Earth dared to surprise her. Her posture changed into a defensive one, clutching her bag to directed it towards the person at full tilt and parting her legs, ready to flee as she saw a man with a long wool scarf hid his neck and a cap covering his hair. Jiyeon eyed him suspiciously with her fastened heart rate until she found two chocolate brown eyes that smiled through the crystal clear glasses and recognized the owner of it.

“Woohyun! Do you have to scare me like that?” Playfully, Jiyeon hit his arm and let out a bell-like laugh. She scanned him from head to toe and let out an unsatisfied sigh. “Not your best outfit, I suppose.”

Woohyun raised his eyebrows and turned his head towards the transparent walls of the café. He circled around and viewed his reflection the curtain wall showed to examine his outfit. He reminded himself to improve his diguise. Even after three months meeting up continuously, Jiyeon managed to nag about his clothes. “I think I look like a supermodel.”

A giggle came from Jiyeon’s mouth and she quickly dampened her laughter as her boyfriend looked down to her. “If you think the suit of the men in black plus those accessories make you look cool, do as you wish. But don’t expect me to say admit I know you, if somebody asks.”

“Tch, they’d probably ask me if I was a celebrity.” Woohyun grinned confidently and reached out to curl Jiyeon’s palm into his. He softly nudged her and pulled her towards the rather short waiting line for a cold day since people mostly bought a cup of tea to warm up their stomach.

“Yeah, sure. And pigs can fly.” Jiyeon rolled her eyes sardonically and rested her head on his shoulder. “Well, I don't think you called me here to show off your costume, right? It’s Wednesday and I know how busy you are on this day.”

"Mhm," Woohyun grunted softly, "Does it have to be something terrifiying each time I want to meet you?"

"We can't help it either way. You and I know how it feels to wake up without being dead certain that we were allowed to meet and how it feels like to end the day, hoping the sun would oversleep the following day so that we don't have to feel the same pain again." A bittersweet smile was formed on Jiyeon's lips and she adverted her gaze to the deserted street. The strong wind seemed to be angry and tortured any creature that prevented its way. Even the big proud trees surrounded the cafe couldn't hold back its power. "However, I still am happy that I can meet you. Besides, how bad can it be?"

A deep weary sigh escaped Woohyun’s throat and he massaged his temple. “I guess... bad.”

“Why?” The concern on Jiyeon’s tune was inevitable and she caressed his cheeks, willing to take a part of the stress weighing on his shoulder. “Is anything wrong with your work? Did you not have enough sleep again?”

“Kinda,” he answered dismissively. “My father needs me for his business deal in Tokyo so I won’t be able to see you in a week.”

Jiyeon mouthed an, “oh” and heaved a sigh. “We should’ve taken the chance to talk to your parents earlier.”

“Hmhm,” Woohyun muttered halfheartedly.

“Am I able to have you afterwards?”

“No, Suzy’s birthday party is right on the second day after my arrival and the day before it, my Mom wants me to accompany her buying a gift for her.” Woohyun announced, with an aching wave guilt coming on his way as he didn’t have much time to spend with his love.

Jiyeon took a deep, impatient breathe and blew a strand of her hair distinctly unsatisfied with Woohyun’s purpose of wanting to meet her.  Slightly annoyed, Jiyeon closed her eyes and frowned thinking of how she should respond to the terrible news she just got.

“I’m so sorry, really.” Woohyun apologized and pecked a brief kiss on her forehead, in hopes it could damp the broiling heat within her.

Finally opening her lids, Jiyeon looked straight to him with a forced smile. “Well, what can I do? She’s your girlfriend after all.”

"Come on, babe, don't be like that." He nudged Jiyeon's arm and heaved a sigh, because the whole thing made him feel as if he couldn't do anything about it. And Woohyun hated the fact that he couldn't control the situation.

"Alright, I'll stop sulking..." Jiyeon gave in - at least for this time.

Woohyun wriggled his arm around her and pulled her into a hug. She hated herself for compromising this easily but she had to admit, giving in was zillion times better than losing him. She could never forgot the day she broke up with him because of Suzy's existance. Her world was falling apart. It was like the guardian angel who had been keeping her warm with his feather wings were gone and all was left was her shivering at the corner helplessly, craving for it to come back again - His love. 

She had gone though hard times to mend the cracks between them. She told him that she would forgive and forget but that was a lie; A lie to keep him with her. Fortunate enough, Woohyun noticed nothing. Holding her anger back that might outburst anytime, she asked as she let out a pertubed laugh,  "What are you going to give her?"

His shoulders hitched in a shrug. "No idea. I guess I'll just let my Mom pick something for her. Flowers or something," he answered absent-mindedly, apparently didn't care about the present nor Suzy's birthday.

"Flowers?"

He nodded, "Hmm, yeah. I don't know. I don't need to be that detailed on searching for a present for her. Since we are girlfriend-boyfriend, she'll be happy with any present I pick."

Jiyeon chuckled tauntingly, still upset with his boyfriend chosing another woman's birthday party over her. "Easy to get, easy to give, yeah?" Somehow, she felt like she was exactly describing herself. Woohyun had her easily and had made no attempt to do what she did. "May I give you a tip for your gift, though?"

"Hey, no snakes or potion. We want it clean," quipped Woohyun.

Jiyeon rolled her eyes, immensely annoyed by his not-so-funny joke. "No, idiot. It won't be long until I win the race and she ends up tripping over a stone. I'm being nice here and I'd like her to be happy for the last moment she could be with you."

Woohyun encircled his arms around Jiyeon's waist to pull her closer, implying her to speak out her thoughts. At the few-inch-close distance, he could see a weathering of sadness around her brown eyes. His face fell. How he wished it was just an illusion he saw.

"Flowers will die. Give her something that would last forever."

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