♥ ~

Life became different since something happened eight years ago. The usually happy man rarely smiles genuinely now. He has became always serious and reserved—turning down companion offers and even avoiding socializing with people as much as possible. He didn’t turn out cold, though, fortunately. It’s just, he find it hard to smile, to laugh and to live with purpose visible in his eyes. It is just that hard for him.

Well, truthfully, it wasn’t really hard. It might just be that he’s just refusing to move on and accept that what happened really did happen. He wasn’t just ready to move on. He hasn’t seen a sign that he should move on, yet.

To judge him, he is so much to be an ordinary man. He was given with so much natural talents that he didn’t know which to pursue. He is a painter, a sculptor, a graphic designer, a photographer, an actor, a linguist, a writer, a chef, a teacher, a singer, and most especially, a pianist—a great one at that. That is until he settled in being a musician.

Today is that day of the year when no one can lift him up from being down. At this kind of day, he is usually at home, locked up in his room, mourning at his loss and reminiscing every memory he held of a particular person. However, a certain Park Yoochun, his fellow musician and someone he can call a friend despite lacking friendly communication, had dragged him out of his dark cave and brought him with him to a rehabilitation center—a place where rebels, mostly youth who wanted to get out of the life where drug and sins dominates, are staying to replace their life with a life worth living—to cheer the lost fellows up. But no matter how much Yoochun tried to get him into socializing with them, he just kept on his seat with a scowl on his face, not even caring about the anticipating teens around who so wanted to hear his voice. He thought, he can’t even cheer himself up, how can he cheer the others up?

“Kim Jaejoong.” The unusually stern voice of his co-musician, who managed to get past his hard exterior, had him look up his gaze. “They wanted to hear your voice.”

Jaejoong merely rolled his eyes and sighed, then thought that maybe Yoochun told them that he’s a singer and that he should sing for them. However after rolling his eyes, he spotted a grand piano covered with a dirtied white blanket. He hasn’t played piano for a month. He was too focused on learning how to play guitar as good as the YouTube sensation Jung Sungha and watching Korean dramas until he bawl his eyes out. But Yoochun knows better. He knows that he just refuses to touch a piano every time this month of the year comes. He figured that the day and month held a special and sad memory on him that he couldn’t do anything but mourn about it. He didn’t try to talk him out about that though, because he’s afraid of the man going farther away from him than he already is.

Little steps by little steps, Jaejoong advanced to the piano. He took steps ever so slowly as if afraid that the piano will have a life and kill him. He didn’t care about the weird stares the teens around are giving him. His eyes are only seeing the piano in front of him and nothing else. He didn’t even hear Yoochun gasp when he didn’t crash the piano like what he usually do if ever Yoochun brings him one during the month. He was staring at the keys—the yellow-ish keys and the blacks between it—and let out a low chuckle when he felt like it. He wasn’t aware of the world at the moment. He didn’t notice the shocked expression on everyone’s faces when he started touching the keys and creating melodious sounds.

By the end of the unfamiliar piano piece he just played, he looked at his surroundings and scanned his audience. Most, even Yoochun, are shedding tears silently, while the rest are simply staring at him with mouths agape.

“Why are you sad and crying?” Jaejoong finally let them hear his voice. Even Yoochun was happy hearing him because he rarely talks and Yoochun missed his voice. He looked around until his questioning gaze fell at the group of boys, with scary tattoos, crying.

“T-there’s just something in the song that… that we couldn’t quite explain but it sent us a very heavy feeling that we could do nothing else but cry.” One of them shyly said.

Jaejoong chuckled again, this time a little louder, and sighed. “Do you want to hear a story?” He asked.

“Umm…” Everyone answered and anticipated whatever he’s about to say. He started playing the same piece, hitting the keys softer so it wouldn’t make as much sound.

“This story is about a young boy and his bestfriend. You wouldn’t be interested here I think because you will probably be disgusted by the homouality.”

“No! Please, continue…” The scariest of them all, as Jaejoong noticed, spoke and bowed his head in embarrassment. Maybe the man just isn’t used in being polite.

“Okay… well, there once were these two boys who claimed themselves bestfriends: Hero and Uknow. They grew up together and were inseparable. They went to same pre, primary, middle and high school, and even college. Hero took up Arts while Uknow took up Physical Education. He said he wanted to be a dancer or a sports man. Hero is a very talented man; he took up arts because he didn’t know which course to choose. He wanted music but his dislike of playing the piano kept him from choosing the course he wanted. Hero is the partner of Uknow. If Hero is a singer, then Uknow is a dancer; if Hero is a cook, then Uknow is the food monster; if Hero is the writer, then Uknow is the speaker—they are so much like the subjects of Auburn’s Perfect Two.” Jaejoong sighed and continued with the smile he nonchalantly created not leaving his face.

“Hero is so much but the greatest talent he possesses is something he didn’t want to do: it was playing the piano. Ever since Uknow found out that he plays the piano, he keeps on bugging Hero to play for him. Oh! I didn’t mention, Uknow is a er of piano. He loves watching people play piano because he doesn’t know how to play one. He tried learning but he failed.” Jaejoong let out an amused chuckle and sighed once more.

“Finally, Uknow stopped bugging him about playing piano for him. Until one day, few months before they finally graduate college, Hero just noticed that Uknow is gradually changing, physically. He’s been a little weaker than he usually is. Uknow just shrugs it off by saying he caught a cold and he’ll be over that soon. After some while, Uknow asked Hero to play piano again and as per usual, Hero refuses to do so. But as unusual as it is, Uknow snapped and yelled at him. He told Hero how much he couldn’t do just a little favor for him. Of course, Hero didn’t want to be yelled at without fighting—and their little yelling turned into something more: they didn’t talk to each other for weeks to the point where they didn’t even know what is happening to the other. It was when Hero decided he would talk to Uknow and make him understand that he didn’t really want to play the piano was when he heard from the principal that Uknow hasn’t been attending class for almost two weeks then. Of course, as the best-friend he is, he went to Uknow’s house to check on him. He was shocked when he saw his bestfriend lying on the bed weakly, pale and almost like a withered vegetable. He is almost lifeless. It broke Hero’s heart that he didn’t know how bad the cold has made him. They smiled to each, asked how each other was and said their sorry-s. They even told each other I love you-s and when no one was looking, they kiss each other’s lips. That day they realized they weren’t just bestfriends but they are something more. Uknow was recuperating. His colors are gradually coming back, and both thought everything will be back to normal. But I guess it’s true that a lot of people die because of a wrong thought.”

“Why, what happened, Jaejoong-ssi?” A lady asked with her eyes flooding with curiosity. Jaejoong chuckled, a thing he loved to do since he saw the grand piano.

“After several days, Uknow was coughing with blood. That is when Hero knew that Uknow had cancer and he’s nearing his death. He was sent to the hospital and there he was medicated. Uknow confessed that he found out about his condition when he had yelled at Hero about not wanting to play the piano for him. Hero then concluded that if he play a piano for him, he will get well. And so Hero didn’t just play the piano for him. He composed a piano piece for him and while composing, he was pouring all his emotions there, mostly hurt and his never-ending love for Uknow, not just as his bestfriend, brother and partner, but as someone he truly loved as man. When Hero was finally done with his composition, he immediately went to the hospital with his keyboard tucked in his left arm and the piano piece in his right hand. As soon as he reached Uknow’s room, he saw him fighting… he saw him struggling to breathe. The doctors and nurses around couldn’t do anything to calm him. He was trashing out the bed as if the air is hiding behind him. The oxygen mask didn’t serve its purpose on him. It was a painful sight to see for Hero. Everyone is there: Uknow’s parents and his younger sister, and even Hero’s parents. Hero heard Uknow’s mom say that he keeps on fighting but they don’t know the reason. They wanted to purposely end his life because it was painful to see him struggle too hard like that. The statement had Hero pour his tears out. When Uknow saw Hero, he calmed down. The nurses and doctors noticed their patient staring calmly at Hero and they left, signaling the crying male to go in. And Hero did came in with his keyboard and piano piece in his arms. There in front of everyone, in front of his own father who is the main reason why he didn’t want to play piano in the first place—”

“Why did his father didn’t want him to play the piano?” A timid voice asked.

“Because his father would beat him if he did, he believed that he won’t reach anything with music.” Jaejoong smiled. “And in front of everyone else in the room, he played the piano with his first composition. Every key was hit with so much passion, dedication and emotion that everyone around cried. The piano piece didn’t have lyrics, but they cried!” Jaejoong chuckled. “And after that special piece was played, Uknow smiled. The kind of smile that when you see, you will want to cry hard your whole life, although it is also the kind of smile that will make you smile bitter-sweetly and feel an overwhelming relief. However, it pained Hero so much because… that is the last smile he’d seen of his bestfriend. After he’d kissed him full on the lips, Uknow said his final ‘I love you’ to Hero and the lines on his monitor went all straight. He’s gone. Hero’s other half is gone.”

“What piece were you talking about? The one you’re playing right now?” Another lady asked.

“Yes.” Jaejoong breathed out his answer.

“What is the title of the piece?” She asked again.

“It was titled River Flows in You. Hero believed that Uknow is a river—a never ending river. Hero had learned a lot from him and he thinks Uknow did in him too. He believed that Uknow is a pure river, that no matter how much he makes mistakes, he’s there to clean him up: to make him feel refreshed and to calm him down. And thus, Hero came up with the title. The song was played only once in front of even just an audience, and it was just in front of Uknow and their families. Hero decided that he couldn’t play the piece anymore. Every time he did, he just breaks down and cries.”

“Did Hero move on?” A lady asked but the question was left unanswered. The lady looked somewhat familiar but he wasn’t able to spend another time recalling whoever she looked like when another comment came.

“That… was a kind of love story Hero got there.” A voice from one of the boys came in.

“Yes, so you should not waste your life and cherish the ones you love. You’ll never know when they will be gone.” And with one last chuckle, Jaejoong stood up and left the room. Not long after, Yoochun came running with a lady he recognized as one of his audience and the one who asked him if Hero has moved on a while ago, probably in her early 20’s.

Jaejoong rose one of his brows slightly to question her appearance.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Yoochun left the two alone and they walked to the garden outside the rehab.

“Kim Jaejoong, right?” The lady asked. Jaejoong merely nodded and waited for the lady to continue whatever she wanted to say. When he didn’t get a response, he looked at the girl just to see her holding a white envelope and was giving it to him. “I was so down when he left. I went to the wrong path and now I regret it. He told me to give this to you after he’s gone but I think, it slipped out of my mind. Of course, it would after the world of deadly sins was introduced to me.”

“How’d you—” Jaejoong asked in disbelief.

“I’m… the little sister you mentioned a while ago—Jung Jihye.” The lady sighed. “I don’t know what’s inside. When I was sent here, I just know I had to bring that and I guess this is why… so I could give it to you.”

“T-thank you.” The envelope had his name written on it by a messy handwriting he surely recognized. It was his penmanship: the penmanship Jaejoong tried to improve throughout the years but it just won’t.

“I’ll be leaving now. Thank you for the wonderful story… Jaejoong oppa.”

Jaejoong didn’t look up when Jihye left. All he could think of right now was the letter in his hand. He opened it and read the content.

Jaejoongie, my boojae. It was hard to keep you as my bestfriend when I know I’ve fallen too hard for you. I was afraid you’d leave me but when I noticed your blushes whenever I kiss your forehead, I knew you feel the same way I feel. Just so you know, I wrote this letter the night I yelled at you for the first time. Hmp! It’s your fault that I yelled. I was so hurt you don’t want to play a song for me. But, Boo Jaejoongie, please know that I love you so much and never did I look at any other woman or man because of you. I will love you until my last breath. When you read this letter, I am probably miles away… living as your guardian angel. And while I’m away, I hope you continue your life. I can’t say you go on without me because I will always be by your side. I love you… always and forever.

- YunnieBear

With tears coming out of his eyes continuously, Jaejoong called for Jihye who is just one step far from the entrance of the lobby. He ran to her and smiled the widest he could. “You asked if Hero had moved on, right?”

Jihye nodded and tilted her head to the side. “Well, Hero didn’t intend to get over what he had with Uknow but he promises that he will live his life to the fullest until he’s finally able to see Uknow again.” And with that, Jaejoong ran back to the garden with Yoochun—who saw and heard everything—meeting him halfway.

‘Jung Yunho… keep the river flowing in me.’

River Flows In You ♥ Thank you for reading. Ü