Just another day.

He sighed and slumped on his chair. There was nothing to listen to, nothing to hear, but the sound of his manager by the door, politely telling the fans to let him be.

It was just another day for Kim Joonmyun.

But no.

He was no longer Kim Joonmyun, really. He was Suho; idol group member, singer, dancer, leader of EXO-K. Kim Joonmyun was like a person that was ultimately separated from him by a barred door. No matter how much he longed to get back to whoever he was, he could not. No matter how much he wanted to believe that he was still the same person, he was simply not.

Suho turned his head towards the manager, slightly worried that the situation was getting a little out of hand. He was taking more time than usual to get a hold of things.

“Is everything okay?”

His manager turned to face him for a second, “Just a persistent noona fan, Suho. No big deal.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am. The artist needs to rest. I really cannot.” his manager pleaded.

Suho felt like grinning at that.

The artist.

So many people made it seem as if they were automatons; things that never got tired, never needed sleep, never needed time for themselves.

But he was used to it by now. This industry could twist and turn anyone into their liking and they, being the artists, had no choice but to be molded into whatever that was.

“Please, sir, I really need to speak to him.”

It was the first time that he had took notice of the voice that was concerned in the heated discussion.

Oddly, he found it familiar.

“Please.”

He knew that voice.

Walking over to the entrance of the room, he tapped his manager on the shoulder and gestured him to stop.

“Let her in,”

She watched the woman, in awe and surprise, as she walked towards him.

“It’s been so long.”

“I have so much to say.” she said in a tone that was close to hysterical. She eyed the manager close by, a little self-conscious. Suho immediately motioned for him to leave them alone.

“Ma,”

That single syllable rolled out in Suho’s tongue so easily; an impulse.

He nearly forgot how nice it felt to say it.

“How are you? How’s Pa?”

He was so happy to see someone so familiar; it was almost like being close to home.

“How is she?”

At that moment, a tear crept down her cheek.

“She needs you.”

It took three words to get him inside the car with the person that had been like his second mother. It took one car ride for everything that had happened to her, be made known and explained.

It took one story to tear him into pieces and break his heart.

“Ma, how could this be?” he said, trying to keep his shaking voice, composed. “Why her?”

She gave him a sad smile. He could not deny the likeness of that sad smile to the one he had seen long ago, on her face.

“I wish we didn’t have to ask. Right now, her father and I are just happy that she even agreed to come home to us.”

The car came to a halt just as he looked out of the window. Suho was hit with nostalgia as soon as the house came into view. He had not been here for so long and yet the memories that he had in this place were as clear as ever.

They were not easy to forget.

She was not easy to forget. She could never be.

He was led inside. Suho took note of every crack and corner with a tug at his heart; he had missed so much. His eyes passed over the picture frames and he already knew that the smiles that were pasted there reflected none of the present. He could not help but sense the bleakness that now enveloped a dwelling that had been filled with so much glee and gladness.

Glee and gladness.

All because of her.

But now they were lost without a certainty of ever being found.

Suho let his feet lead him. He knew this house like the back of his hand. Even after years of no contact, he still did. They went up the stairs and without being told, he already knew where to go.

Second door on the right.

With silent, tentative steps, he walked over to her door. He hesitated, but by the side, her mother urged him on.

This was it. This was her room.

He knocked.

Silence.

And then everything inside of him felt as if they were in the middle of a crashing, catastrophic storm.

“Come in.” a quiet voice said.

Her.

It felt so good to hear that voice once more.

Without any time at all to get his bearings together, he let the barricade disappear. He pushed open the door.

It took less than a second for him to be mesmerized.

She had her back to him and yet to Suho, her presence was already overwhelming.

Suho tried his best not to let the tears that had revealed themselves earlier, show. He could not. Not in front of her.

She was sitting by the window as if she was waiting for something. Quietly, he took himself inside the angel’s chamber.

As he closed the door behind him, she turned around.

Ma’s words replayed in his mind and the longer they lingered there, the harder they hit his consciousness.

“There was an accident.”

She smiled at him, still as beautiful as she always was.

“We were so close to losing her.”

Not a single trace of hurt was visible in her compelling features.

 “She got out alive, but we never really got her back.”

But she was the same. She was the same girl that he had loved and still did.

“She doesn’t remember anything. Not even us.”

As they met each other’s gazes, there was a flicker of recognition in her eyes.

“Hi.”

“Hi,”

Getting up from where she was, she grabbed a blanket from her bed and wrapped it around herself. After that, she went back to her place by the window, but now, she sat facing him.

“I don’t want to be rude, but what are you doing here?”

She had asked so innocently. Suho wanted nothing at the moment but to be the blanket; the one to give her warmth, the one to wrap his arms around her.

Slowly, he approached her, “Do you know me?”

She smiled and he felt his heart getting lost in oblivion.

“Of course I do,” she said, a hint of a laugh in her tone. “You’re Suho.”

Joonmyun.

That was what he wanted to hear. That was what he longed for.

That was what she called him.

He was permanently lost, Suho knew it.

And there was no way of getting him back.

“I see you on TV all the time with your group,” she said, evidently joyful. It was the inexplicable kind of joy that he wished he could match.

“You know, EXO got me through a lot. Your music really helped me when—“

She was hesitating, as if wanting to disregard a thought. Suho knew and hated himself for being the one at fault, the one to put back the idea in her mind; a mind that was already lost. He wished to kiss her forehead, hoping her heart, the heart that loved like it did, was not yet lost.  

But he could not do that.

She knew him and yet she did not.

All he was right now was a stranger.

Someone she did not really know.

 “—When I was in the hospital.”

He blinked, wishing all of this was a cruel dream; nothing but a nightmare. He blinked and a dew drop grazed the pale white petal of his face.

“What happened? Why are you crying?”

Alarmed, she left the comfort of her seat by the window to lay her hands on his shoulders.

The familiar gentleness, the same subtle grace, her comforting touch; it was all her.

“I’m just so happy that someone as extraordinary as you found love in EXO.”

He had no choice, but to endure such suffering in deep silence.

“I bet you say that to all of your fans.”

Her endearing aloofness was definitely distinct.

“You’re more than a fan. You’re the love of my life.”

These were the words that remained frozen in his mouth.

Instead of letting go of such words, the tears just fell and fell, until she had no choice but to sit him down.

“Don’t cry. Please,” she said as she placed an arm around him. “I don’t understand.”

He was sorry to cause her confusion. But when intense emotion took over, one was a goner.

“Just be here. Just tell me you won’t leave me.”

She was reluctant, but she nodded.

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,”

He let the voice took hold of him.

He believed.

He believed her.

“I’m here. Don’t cry.”

He was not letting go of her again. If he could, he would be her guardian.

By her side.

Always.

"Don’t cry."