He was sitting there, lonelier than ever. Tears were strolling down his cheeks. Crying... that’s what he was doing. Crying... as if that would bring you back. A pain shot through his body, it was just a matter of time until he actually got crazy. Still he was sitting there, trying to remain as calm as possible, did he succeed? He did manage to fool the people around him, so yeah he did. Of course people got fooled by the great Kim Jongin. The handsome man all the girls fell for, the man people envied. The man guys wanted to be, well not if they knew the real Jongin; The sensitive and scared little boy hiding in his shell in protection of the reality.  But that shell had just broken into thousands of pieces, he was forced to face reality. He no longer had a place to hide. How sad for him but karma is a and will always be.

He jolted awake. Panting hard. As if he had run a mile. He looked around the dark room. ‘’I-it was only a dream...’’

He got up and dragged himself to the balcony. He leaned himself against the rail and looked at the big city. An amazing scenery is what he witnessed, still nothing clicked inside of him. People would die to see these kind of sceneries though they’re own eyes, they would die for anything. Kai ones did the same mistake. Well, it only became a mistake when it didn’t turn the way it should, when he lost his own game.

A great man once said that the greatest loss in life isn’t death; it is what dies inside while still alive.

Die inside... More like dying inside. Yes. He was dying inside. Let’s feel sorry for him together, let’s cry and beg. It might make everything right... Or what do you think? Have you ever tried? ...Did you ever succeed?

Feeling worse Kai grabbed one of the cigarettes scattered on the small table. He lightened it and desperately pressed it against his lips. He inhaled the smoke into his black lungs before he exhaled it. He ones again leaned against the rail with his elbows. He kept on inhaling and exhaling dirt into the ever changing air. He looked down at the people still being out despite the time. He scoffed at the drunken following different men around. Their cheapness reminded him of... how much he had to fight to get to you... Feeling the frustration taking over his body Kai began to take deep breaths. everything and everyone...

How much he tried to not think about you...he just couldn’t. Not when everywhere he went people would bring it up. He hated it. They would just keep on rubbing his mistakes in his face. What for? Because God wanted him to face the truth hearing it from different people’s mouths? Maybe karma enjoyed making him suffer. Just grabbing his heart, slowly pressing it till it gets smaller. Choking the pain, piling them up on each other just making them bigger...

Getting more and more frustrated, Kai aggressively kicked the rail and stormed back inside. He kicked down the chairs, threw lamps across the room. Anything he gabbed ended up ruined on the floor. He didn’t care. Just like no one cared. He fell on his knees and started punching the ground. As his hands were burning, his heart was to. Such a horrid sight. Just one hurt boy out of all. Do you feel his pain or are you acting?

So now he was sitting there, lonelier than ever. Tears were strolling down his cheeks. Crying... that’s what he was doing. Crying... as if everything would be okay. A pain shot through his body, it was just a matter of time until he actually got crazy. Still he was sitting there, trying to remain as calm as possible, did he succeed? Hah no. Of course he didn’t, hello reality’s calling. The handsome man all the girls fell for, the man people envied. The man guys wanted to be, well not if they knew the real Jongin; The sensitive and scared little boy who almost fell for his own lies. But karma found him; he was forced to face pain. He no longer had lies to hide behind. How sad for him but karma is a and will always be.

C’mon Kai, time to wake up. WAKE UP! ...Why aren’t you waking up? Is...this not a dream? Did that sensitive little boy’s shell of lies really brake...? So karma did hunt him... He did actually suffer. How sad... So reality did hit him. Just unfortunately a little..just a little too late.