Of You, Jung Daehyun
Of You, Bang YonggukA/N: oh oh oh oh! I diiiiddd it :3
but it's way too short D:
P.S. there will be a part 3, so enjoooyyy!(;
I awoke early next morning in your bed.
Honestly you worry me, Jung Daehyun.
You were drowning in nightmares all night, you'd wake me up every hour or so with your whines and cries. I'm surprised no one heard you.
You kept saying things like you hated yourself and there was no hope.
Just what's going on in that head of yours?
I don't understand you, although I'd like to say I do.
You constantly cover your face with a mask-trying to hide what? Your ugliness? Please. Don't waste your breath.
You're beautiful, why don't you see that?
I tell you that all the time, maybe not in those exact words but that's what they sum up to.
You always laugh and say:
"Hyung, I'm far from attractive."
"Hyung, they hate me."
"I'm sorry for dragging you all down."
"People must screw their faces at me. My accent is just weird."
"Why do they lie? It doesn't make me feel any better about myself. I know the truth, surely they do too."
"How can people say they love me? There's nothing about me TO love."
How can you say that?
You're absolutely perfect. From your chocolate brown hair, all the way down to your toes. Your smile can easily brighten up anyone's day, I know it never fails to do so for me. I love the way you always listen to every detail of someone's story, I love the brightness in your eyes right before we go on stage to perform, I love the way you joke around with the other members to lighten up the mood, I even love the way you pout and beg for food. I love your serious and y glare, but my favorite is your innocent, carefree grin. Your voice is incredible, I can't get enough of it. People say mine's y, but I'd pick yours over mine any day. I'd pick you over anyone any day.....
I sighed heavily, finally noticing I was the only one in your bed.
Why do you run from me? I've always loved you and I'll never hurt you.
That's right Jung Daehyun, I love you.
I love you in a way that makes me feel funny. The kind that keeps me up at night, questioning who I am. What's my purpose.
The kind that annoys me and distracts me to the point where I can't concentrate on anything.
The kind I know I shouldn't feel towards you.
I love you in a sense where it's wrong. I don't love you as a dongsaeng, or even a band mate.
I love you in the sort where I want to always be with you, hold your hand, kiss you, touch you, hold you, make love to you......
Yeah. All of those things.
All of those weird, confusing things that make me not able to think straight at times. Those things that turn me sullen and quiet more often than not. Those things I imagine, but are only a dream. Those things that drive me crazy with want and dying hope that you'll feel the same.
Those things that are a waste to think about.
I drag myself out of your bed, inhaling your scent one final time before I go.
My hand is almost on the doorknob now, and yet I'm still hesitant to leave. Maybe if I stay, you'll come back to find me.
I shake my head irritatedly.
Just a waste.
I'm the leader, I have a job to do and responsibilities to worry about. I don't need this right now.
I turn the doorknob, and the door inches open silently. I glance both ways down the hall before pushing the door closed softly, and head to my room.
And so here I am.
Another night I've thrown away.
Another morning I'm left lonely.
Another day I'm extremely frustrated.
Once again, more stupid thoughts occupy my mind.
These stupid thoughts of you, Jung Daehyun.
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