Just like every forbidden love, we met when everyone was asleep.

 

 

 

But tonight, something was definitely different. I can’t put my finger on it, but I know there was something amiss. Try as I may to grasp it and dissect it, I can’t or should I say I couldn’t. Jiyong was tracing circles at my back as he quietly hums a tune he made for me. Butterfly.

 

 

 

It was nice to listen to his hum, it was drizzling and the gentle pattering it cost on the rooftop just makes the tune more intimate in my ears.  We were lying down on my bed, I used his arms as my pillow, I felt contented. His steady heartbeat calms me like nothing else in the world.

 

 

 

“Dara-yah, I love you.”

 

 

 

I felt my heart swoon with his declaration of love for me, he had said those words a million times but I can still feel my heart beat erratically whenever he says it. “I love you, too.”

 

 

 

 

“Not as much I love you.” He kissed my hair and if I could freeze on that moment and stay that way forever I would. Looking up to his smouldering soft dark brown eyes, I saw how much he loved me. “Dara, you are a walking miracle, you know that right?”

 

 

 

 

“I know, you told me countless times already.” It is true. What he said is true. I am a walking miracle. A year and a half ago, I got into an accident. I was paralyzed from the waist down and I thought I wouldn’t be able to walk again, but I did. It was all because of him. He was fresh from Juvie and was sent in Seoul Hospital for his community service, one night, he saw me in the hallways when I was down and feeling sorry for myself. During that time, I was a pain in the to everyone around me. Since according to the doctors, I would never be able to walk anymore. Jiyong, however, wanted to prove me wrong.

 

 

 

He helped me with my therapy and soon enough, I was able to walk again. Even the doctor Ms. Im Yoona was surprised but nonetheless happy for me. “Dara, you don’t know how much I’m guilty for wh—“

 

 

 

 

“Don’t be guilty, don’t you see, it was meant to happen.” I insisted. Jiyong was the one who hit me, he was drunk and didn’t see me crossing the streets, that’s why my parents didn’t want me and Jiyong together. But I love him. He loves me. It’s not stupid, its true love. “Stop beating yourself up with happened dummy.”

 

 

 

 

He smiled at me, “It’s just that I feel like I don’t deserve you. Your rich, your beautiful, your kind, your perfect. I just don’t understand why you chose to be with me when there are a lot of guys lining up to be your boyfriend.”

 

 

 

 

“I’m not rich, my parents are, I’m beautiful we can’t do anything about that, my kindness is very subjective, there may be a lot of guys lining up to be with me but they are not you. I want – no, I need to be with you. You’re the one I want.”

 

 

 

He chuckled lightly, “You’re so cheesy. Always remember that I love you Dara. Forever and always.”

 

 

 

He kissed me, slowly, passionately. He embraced me tightly. A foreboding of doubt clouded my head. “Is there something wrong? Why are you suddenly –“

 

 

 

I wasn’t able to continue what I wanted to say, he kissed me lightly on my lips. “Stop thinking too much, what’s wrong with me saying how much I love you? It’s already 1:58 Miss and you badly need your sleep.” He started humming again and I know that he wouldn’t talk to me anymore.

-----------------------------

 

 

 

It would have been better if I stayed up awake and didn’t sleep that night or should I say morning?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He left me.

 

 

 

 

 

He left me and didn’t even say goodbye till it was too late. Holding the letter his neighbour gave me after 1 week of searching for him. His neighbour, Mrs. Cho Ma Ri was instructed by Jiyong to give me the letter after 1 week. And it still hurt after 5 years.

 

 

 

 

But tonight, I will forget about him. I will move on and marry Dong Young Bae. Just like what he told me that I should do. Opening the letter again after 5 years for me to read again, and after reading, I will burn it, the thing I should have done years ago, but couldn’t.

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Dara,

                By the time you’ll read this I’ll be forever gone from your life. Please, don’t hate me. I need, I had to leave. I’m sorry I failed you. I would move heaven and earth to take away the pain your feeling right now. My heart broke when I left you; I died that day when I sneaked out of your room and out of your life. Every day, I find it hard to breathe, just imagining how much pain I am causing you right now.

 

 

 

 

 

                Please, don’t blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. I know its cliché, but it’s all me. You have to believe that I left because of a promise I made with God. Yes, with God, thanks to you I started believing in him again. Anyway, when I was helping you out for your recovery and there was a time when everything looked bleak and nothing seems to happen, I prayed to him. I bargained with him. I promised him that I would stay away from you just as long as you start walking again. And miraculously, he answered my prayer.

 

 

 

 

 

                You started walking again.

 

 

 

 

 

I didn’t plan to stay with you after you started walking, but I fell in love with you. But I made a promise with him, and my time with you though it was short had come to an end. Just a few weeks ago, I was diagnosed with Leukemia and my chances of having a long life are bleak – impossible.

 

 

 

 

 

                I know it’s selfish, but I want you to forget about me. Love someone else. I want you to be the happiest girl in the world because you deserve it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

                My heart is yours and always has been since the moment I told you I loved you. And because I love you, I want you to be happy. After you read this letter, please burn it and move on with your life. Don’t look back. Don’t hold back.

 

 

 

 

Sincerely yours,

Kwon Ji Yong

P.S

I Love you, forever and always.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Even after all these years, my heart still feels like its being torn to pieces with each word written in the letter. It was so hard for me to move on. It took me a few months before finally accepting the fact that I couldn’t find Jiyong.

 

 

 

 

 

It’s as if he vanished from the face of the planet. My parents, being influential personalities in the business world did their best to find him, but they couldn’t even find a single trace of him. I resigned myself to the fact that he won’t be found unless he wanted to.

 

 

----------------------------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

Walking down the aisle, with everyone’s eyes watching me, I felt my heart jump mercilessly out of my chest, my throat felt dry and my eyes were streaking with tears. The urge to walk any further was foolish; the only thing I wanted to was run to where he was standing. I felt my father stiffen, just like me, he was surprised. Everyone inside the church started to look weirdly at me, as I stood rigidly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My maid of honour, Bom, had this horrified look on her face as he saw the person I was looking at.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Jiyong.” My voice was shaking. I can’t believe he is here. I can’t believe he is actually here! Looking at him, standing right in front of me, I swallowed back the sob that desperately wanted to come out. The people who were watching us can see it as tears of joy, but it’s not - far from it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 I looked at Young Bae and saw anxiousness in his eyes. I could see that he was pale and the tears’ flowing down quietly from his eyes is not because of happiness but because of fear. I felt my father tug me to continue walking, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to run away – away from prying eyes. I just want to talk to Jiyong and ask him millions of questions but at the same time I felt betrayed by him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Why are you here?”

 

 

 

 

“Why did you leave?”

 

 

 

 

“Why did you come back?”

 

 

 

 

“Where did you go?”

 

 

 

 

“Didn’t you love me?”

 

 

 

 

 

“You said, you had Leukemia, didn’t you trust me enough to stay with you?”

 

 

 

 

 

“What happened to you?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Why of all days, why did you have to return now?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And the question I badly want to ask him, “Why did you become a priest?”

 

 

 

 

 

As if hearing the questions inside my head, Jiyong smiled at me. He looked at the cross hanging above his head and I instantly knew why. I started walking again towards Young Bae.

 

 

 

 

 

Young Bae and I were holding our hands, “Today, we are gathered to witness the union of Park Sandara and Dong Young Bae.” When he said those words, I could hear a faint sadness in his voice. “Never have I ever been so happy to tie a bond towards God a couple so perfect for each other.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love you Kwon Jiyong. Forever and Always.

 

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please don't hate me that much. I'll be updating my other fics soooooooooooooooon. This story is dedicated to VadaSantos  Thank you!! Though this story didn't end well just like some of my other stories, I hope you like it :) 

To my first subscriber poe3_dutz thank youuuuuuuuuuuuu~! Aiyo. I hope you won't be disappointed with the story :)

 

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Just a short babble from me, since I'm feeling a litlle chatty, this story is somewhat realistic, at least for me :) Heul. Anywaaaaaaays. Please do comment :)