Taera’s POV

                I was getting ready to go to the cafeteria for lunch when Daniel called out to me. He was one of my closest friends at school – and he occasionally acts as my confidante. His originally cheerful face was gone and replaced by some sort of guilty expression. He was always the carefree type of person; even bad grades won’t be able to make his smile leave his face – what had happened today, then? I felt myself frowned upon approaching him, all kinds of possibilities crossed in my mind.

                “What’s up?” I said casually, throwing a small punch to his shoulder. I was trying to act calm. But I knew it failed when I saw that apologetic face on him. He ruffled my hair lightly and took a deep breath, leaving me all the more curious.

                “I need to tell you something.”

***

                “Taera, why are you not eating? Are you not feeling well?” I was brought out of my trance by Yanna’s voice. I looked up to her face from my food tray and felt her warm hand on my forehead, while her other hand felt her own forehead. A frown knitted on her face as she removed both of her hands away.

                “Your temperature is fine, tho..”

                “Yanna, can we go to the rooftop?” Her eyes widened in surprise as I cut her mid-sentence. I had never done that before because even I myself thought it was rude. However, she quickly shrugged it off and put on a sweet smile that has always comforts me during my time of despair. But not today.

                “Sure! You need some fresh air, anyways. I miss the cheery Taera,” she said as she packed her things. Uncertainty took over me as I grabbed a hold of her hand, stopping her from continue to pack her things. She looked at me with an eyebrow arched upwards, questioning my action. I immediately let go of her hand and cleared my throat awkwardly.

                “We don’t have to go immediately, though. You can finish your lunch first.” ‘Because I’m not ready yet,’ my mind thought.

                “It’s okay. I’m done eating. Let’s go!” She said, beaming, as she dragged me out of the cafeteria. The journey to the rooftop was filled with silence. Yanna has never been the chatterbox between us – I was the one who always have things to talk about. ‘Maybe that’s why,’ my mind spoke to me. My mind was busy contemplating on the best way to tell – or precisely, ask her about this matter. But I couldn’t.

                The rooftop was pretty empty. There were a few students around, but not that much. Both of us decided to take the spot at the edge of the building, where the field can be seen from. I threw my glance around the field, trying to relax myself before getting to the main point. That was when I caught Daniel looking at me, showing an assuring smile. He gestured a ‘Fighting!’ pose, leaving a smile on my face. A bitter one. My eyes wandered to the other side of the field and caught an image of a boy my age, with a book in his hand. I felt a lump caught in my throat, almost leaving me breathless as tears threatening to fall.

                I have to do this.

                “Yanna…” I called her, before clearing my throat – my eyes never leaving that figure sitting on the bleachers. I decided to speak up as I felt Yanna’s gaze bore through my head. You can do this, Ahn Taera!

                “You’re dating Gyeo-ul now, right?” I muttered lowly, but enough for her to hear me. My gaze was now fixed on her shocked face. Her expression slowly turned guilty as she grabbed both of my hands in hers. However, I shrugged them off almost immediately.

                “I’m sorry.” Her head hung low.

                “Why didn’t you tell me in the first place? You know how much I like him, don’t you? Do you know how embarrassed I am right now, knowing that I was spazzing about YOUR boyfriend the whole time – in front of you? To know that all this while, I made a fool out of myself, thinking that I stood a chance to win his heart when the one who has won his heart over is YOU? And worse, to actually ask YOU for tips to get YOUR boyfriend’s attention. I’m just so stupid, ain’t I?” I felt a stream of tears flowed down my cheeks profusely, not once stopped no matter how much I’ve wiped them off.

                “Taera, I’m sorry. I was just so scared – I’m afraid that you would get mad at me. I’m scared it would tarnish our friendship. B-but, I really don’t have any feelings for him. I just dated him because he thought I should at least give him a chance. But I swear! I really don’t have any kind of feelings for him but as a friend. I’m so, so, sorry, Taera.” I thought I was slapped right in the face when she said that. She was dating him just because? Now what does that make me?

                “‘Sorry’? I bet you don’t even know why I am so worked up right now.” She gave me a questioning look before she threw a question.

                “What do you mean? It’s only because of Gyeo-ul, right? Or is there anything else?” I looked at her in disbelief. Do I look like someone who would throw her friend for a guy?

                “‘Or is there anything else?’ you ask? Of course there is! The fact that you don’t trust me enough to tell me about it is the main issue here! How could you not tell me; your so-called best friend?” I said, emphasized on the last two words. She looked at me in confusion before replying me.

                “I’ve told you – I don’t want this matter to get in between our relationship. That’s it. It’s not that I don’t trust you enough – “

                “But you didn’t. You didn’t trust me enough, Yanna. You didn’t trust me when I say that I don’t mind whoever he dates. I’m not that stupid to get mad over a petty thing like that – he’s just a crush, not my boyfriend. And you didn’t trust me when I say that I won’t let any guy ruin our friendship. I won’t, Yanna. I won’t. Date him all you want, but you should have told me before – I won’t mind at all. I – I’m just so embarrassed right now. I – uh, I should just go.” I said and walked away, before my tears could betray me. Again. To be honest, I was hurt to know that I stood no chance anymore to be with Gyeo-ul; the only guy managed to change me into that little fangirl I never knew I could be. But of course, who would want a tomboy girl as a girlfriend, right?

***

Jaejin’s POV

                Taera was different today. She didn’t smile much. She didn’t talk enough. And she said nothing when Minhwan and I had a food fight. She’s totally not her today. And that look in her eyes obviously spells sadness. Even a blind man can see it. Okay – that was just a hyperbole because a blind man can’t see. But it was obvious enough that even the stupid Hongki hyung noticed it.

                “Jae oppa~” I was brought out of my trance upon hearing that little voice. Jae oppa; it has been so long since I heard that name. It was what Chaewon noona told Taera to call me whenever we’re about to tell problems or simply during our siblings’ bonding time. A small smile crept on my lips.

                “Yes, Taebaby.” I turned to see her peeking her head into the room, looking uncertain as she fiddled with a teddy bear in her hands. That teddy bear of hers was kept in Jonghoon hyung’s room. I patted the space next to me on the bed, signaling her to sit there. She obediently came into the room and sat cross-legged next to me. She had her eyes fixed on her lap, not uttering a word.

                “It’s been so long since I last heard you call me ‘Jae oppa’,” I said ruffling her hair. She gave me a little smile, probably agreeing to my statement before. I waited patiently for her to start – it’s not every day she comes to me with a problem. She had always preferred Chaewon noona when it comes to personal matters. Maybe because noona is a girl and they just bond better?

                “Remember that guy I told you? The one that I liked?” her voice came out trembling. I nodded a little before hummed as a ‘yes’. Of course I do! He was like her first crush and she chose to tell me instead of noona because she figured out noona would make her do the first move. Or worse – makeover.

                “He’s already dating someone. Else.” I can sense the bitterness in her voice. And I can see that tears she’s trying to hold in. My heart ached seeing her like that.

                “Not that I mind, though. I mean, of course he would come to like someone – who’s not me. But somehow it still hurts, though.” I patted her head like she’s a little child before pulling her into a hug, comforting her.

                “Do you know who she is?” I whispered to her, her back. I know she was holding herself back, to not let even a tear slip when she should just let it go.

                “Yanna. No Yanna.” I was dumbfounded. No Yanna is her best friend. Her only girl friend. I closed my eyes tightly and pulled her tighter, feeling the pain she’s feeling. It’s bad enough to know who your crush likes – but to know that your crush is dating your best friend is…nothing alike.

                “Cry, baby, cry. Just let it go.” I murmured to her ear as I felt her fisted my shirt with so much force, preventing her tears from falling. I chanted the same thing over and over again into her hearing until she finally broke down. Her silent tears eventually turned into an endless sobs.

                “I like him, oppa.” She murmured in between her sobs as I rocked her body side to side. I felt myself tearing up to see her in this condition. If I knew this was what going to happen, I would have never ever encouraged her to bloom her feelings for him. I thought it was good for her to finally starting to like someone. I mean, isn’t it normal for girls her age to date? But I guess I was wrong. I would rather for her to be immune to boys like she had always been but being a happy girl than suffering a heart break like she is right now.

                “Jae oppa, can you please open the door?” asked Taera not long after her crying stopped. I peeked at her face – puffy eyes, red nose. I took a deep breath before nodding to her request and made my way to open the door. And surprise! All of the members were there, in front of the room with their ears directed towards the door. I blinked in surprise, before turned my head to Taera. How did she know?

                “Come in, guys.” Taera’s voice came out hoarsely; the effect of her crying just now. The members shuffled shyly into the room, taking place around Taera – some sitting on the bed while some settled on the floor. Thank God my spot was left unseated.

                “How do you know?” asked Hongki hyung. He scratched his head, trying to hide his embarrassment of being caught eavesdropping, red-handedly.

                “I heard you guys running to the door right after I closed it.”  All nodded in understanding to Taera’s  answer.

Silence.

                .

                .

                .              

                .

                “Are you going to school or not tomorrow? If you do, then you have to go to bed now because that much of crying will cause you a massive headache.” Asked Jonghoon hyung suddenly. I turned to Taera waiting for her answer, but she remained stoned.

                “You can sleep here tonight if you want,” I said to her. Trust me, if it’s not because of that ‘stripping syndrome’ I have during sleeping, I would have never ever allowed her to sleep at Jonghoon hyung’s room. True that he’ll be sleeping at Hongki hyung’s room whenever she sleeps over, but he has the keys to the room. I stared at Taera for a little while after uttering that, hoping she would accept my offer.

                No response.

                “Tae –”

                “I’ll just sleep at ssaem’s room.”

Taera’s POV

                Jonghoon ssaem gave me a piggyback ride on my way to his room. It wasn’t that far from Jaejin’s room – only a few steps away, actually. But he insisted after I almost fell after standing for a few seconds. My head felt lightheaded at that time. Even now.

                He sat on the bed when I went into the bathroom to wash up. I was shocked to see my own reflection on the mirror. I can’t even see my own eyes – they’re swollen like hell. And my nose is clogged. I groaned in frustration as I quickly wash my face, not wanting to see that hideous creature in the mirror for any longer. And when I came out of the bathroom, I was shocked to see Jonghoon ssaem was still there.

                “Done?” he asked casually. I nodded my head as an answer before walking to the bed to sleep. He stood up and went to switch off the main lights before putting the covers on top of me and sat by the side of the bed. He patted my head lightly as I tightened my arms around my teddy bear.

                “Our maknae has grown up, huh?” He said with a smile, looking amused. I only replied him with a small smile. My eyes were getting harder to open and the headache was not helping either. I felt so tired but I don’t feel like going to sleep yet. And so I let my mind wander as ssaem my hair repeatedly and hummed to ‘Unintended’ by Muse.

                “Ssaem?”

                “Yes?”

                “Have you ever been heart-broken?” He broke into a smile.

                “Well, of course I do.”

                “Mind telling me?”

                “The first time was….”

And the rest is history.

A/N:

…..

And I hope I had Jaejin with me before.

Love, ChocoBun.