“Zhangmi, do you have a minute?” the instructor calls into the changing room.

“Sure. Just a second,” Zhangmi answers. Tucking the arm of her uniform into her bag and sweeping her damp hair back into a ponytail, she hurries outside. “Yes, Kris?”

“You know about the retreat to Eagle’s Crest that I’m taking some of the younger students on next weekend, right?” he asks. When she nods, Kris continues, “Well, my cousin was going to be the chaperone for the girls, but something came up and she can’t do it now. Would you be able to come in her place? I wouldn’t ask, but...you’re kinda the only girl over fifteen here.”

“Don’t I know it. Um...I think so, but I’ll have to double check.”

“Thanks, Zhangmi,” he says. “You heading out then?”

“Yeah. Gotta finish doing some reading for class. I’ll let you know about the trip soon though.”

Kris his head a little as he looks at her, his mouth quirking into a small smile. “Would it make any difference if I told you Tao was coming?”

Zhangmi’s eyes widen marginally, but she maintains a disinterested face, shifting the shoulder strap of her bag. “No. Why?”

“Nothing,” he shrugs, walking away and giving her a salute. “See you later.”

    Shaking her head at his ridiculousness, she turns and starts walking down the back hall to the lobby. However, a muffled melody reaches her ears and makes her hesitate. It beckons to her and leads her back the way she’d come. Following the source of the sound, Zhangmi slowly cracks open the practice room door and pokes her head inside.

    Sure enough, there he is, singing loudly to himself as he tidies up. Having abandoned the white jacket in favor of a tight black tank top, she can see the play of muscles under tanned skin as he lifts and stacks the mats, flicking his inky bangs from his face. As she watches him, Zhangmi can’t help smiling at the memory of when they’d first met.

    When Kris had introduced him as a friend from China who was visiting him for a year while he went to school in the U.S, he’d reminded her of sleek cat with his watchful eyes, graceful way of moving his long limbs, and deadly execution of wushu. Of course, once he’d found out she spoke Chinese and consequently attached himself to her, she’d discovered he was more like a panda, cute and possessing an insatiable appetite.

The meaning behind Kris’s smirk was completely lost on her. Tao was like her little brother and even called her-

“Jie.jie!”

Startled from her memories, Zhangmi meets Tao’s startled eyes and steps fully into the room with a smile. “Hey, Tao. How’s it going?”

“Just cleaning up like dui.zhang asked,” he smiles back. “How long were you standing there?”

“No idea. I like listening to you sing.”

Tao bites his lip and ducks his head. “I’m not that good.”

“Lies.”

“Whatever you say, jie.jie.”

“What? You don’t trust me?” Zhangmi asks, playfully punching his chest. “I never lie.”

He puts a hand over where she hit him, pouting.

“Don’t give me that, you big baby,” she sighs with a smile. “You could’ve avoided that and taken me out if you’d tried.”

“But I wouldn’t want to hurt you,” Tao immediately replies, abandoning his pout.

“Silly panda, I know that. So are you going on the retreat next weekend?”

He nods. “Why?

“I might be going too,” she shrugs. “Kris’s cousin can’t make it and he needs a chaperone for the girls.”

“You should come,” Tao says excitedly before catching himself and adding in a more controlled tone, “I won’t have anyone else to talk to other than Kris ge if you don’t and he’ll be busy anyway.”

“C’mon, Tao. The others talk to you to. Your English is getting really good and the guys all look up to you because they think you’re cool,” Zhangmi smiles.

“Really?”

“Course they do.”

“But they’re different,” Tao murmurs.

“What?”

He shakes his head and smiles again. “Nothing. Jie.jie, will you come get bubble tea with me after I’m done?”

“It’s tempting, but I’ve really got to finish this work. My professor moved the due date up.” When Tao’s bottom lip juts out, she smiles and reaches up to ruffle his hair. “Don’t pout at me, my little Panda. Jie.jie will take you out another time, okay?”

“...all right.”

Letting her hand slide from his hair to briefly rest on his cheek, Zhangmi gives him a wink and walks back towards the door. As she leaves the room, she calls back, “See you tomorrow.”

“Remind me....again...why...I agreed to this,” Zhangmi huffs to herself the next weekend, plopping down on a rock at the end of the path and not bothering to go find her cabin. “Stupid...mountain. Stupid...Kris.”

A water bottle suddenly enters her vision.

“Oh.” Her smile brightens when she squints up at Tao. “Thanks.”


“Are you all right, jie.jie?” he asks, sitting beside her and crossing his legs. “I could’ve taken your pack for you.”

“I’m no weakling,” Zhangmi replies, closing her eyes to fully enjoy the cooling sensation of the water trickling down . When she opens them, she notices Tao looking at her with a strange expression. “What?”

“Nothing,” he says, quickly shaking his head. “Zhangmi-”

“Zhangmi!” one of the girls interrupts, running up to them with an indignant look on her face. “Kathy says I have to take the top bunk but I can’t. What if I fall? Tell her she can’t make me.”

“I’m coming,” Zhangmi tells her, watching as the girl retreats back the way she’d come. Screwing the cap back on the water, she pats Tao’s knee. “Thank goodness you’re more mature than most of these kids.”

He watches her stand. “I’m not a kid.”

“What?”

“I said I’m not a kid. I’m only three years younger than you,” Tao reminds her, squarely meeting her eyes.

A little disconcerted by his look, Zhangmi just nods. “I know...I better go settle this. See you later?”

Tao stares at her a few more seconds before making a noncommittal noise and shifting his gaze into the distance.

    The fallen twigs, turned brittle by the summer heat, snap under Zhangmi’s feet as she makes her mandatory round around the cabins and surrounding areas to make sure none of the students are out past their curfew. Not that it would be in their best interests to do so anyway considering how early they had to wake up the next day. When she comes to the edge of the camp, she stops. The small sandy area they used for earlier one-on-one matches looks entirely different, glowing softly in the moonlight.

    Slipping off her shoes, Zhangmi carefully puts one foot onto the smoothed sand, giggling as she wiggles her toes. Her wide smile fades to a muted one as she sits down and starts drawing shapes in the sand with her foot, thinking about Tao.

Pulling up one leg so she can rest her head on her knee, she wonders out loud, “Is something wrong with him?”

    After their exchange that morning, he hadn’t spoken to her, even during the meal times and sparring matches. Normally he was glued to her side; it felt like something was missing when he wasn’t there. She hadn’t done anything, right? Maybe he’d thought she was calling him a kid too in the morning and taken the typical teenage offense at the name. But Tao wasn’t like that. He’d tell her if he was upset...

“Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

With a small shriek, Zhangmi twists around to find a slightly amused looking Tao leaning against a nearby tree, watching her.

“You know, if we were back in the old days, you’d be dead right now,” he says, chuckling.

“I’m surprised I’m not now from the freaking heart attack you just gave me,” she retorts, rubbing her chest. “Make some noise like you normally do. What’re you even doing up?”

Tao shrugs away from his tree to stand beside her. “Same thing as you, I guess. Checking to make sure everyone’s in bed.”

“But Kris...never mind.”

“What about Kris?”


Zhangmi shrugs. “Nothing. When he asked me, he just made it sound like it was only me.”

“Oh.”

She gives him another look before returning her gaze to the sky, silently thanking the stars that whatever Tao had been upset about before had apparently disappeared.

“Zhangmi...”

“Hmm?”

“Wanna have a match?”

She looks up at him in surprise. “What?”


He continues looking at the sky as he replies,“You heard me. I didn’t get to have a one against you during the day since we were too busy helping the others. I can’t remember the last time we did actually.”

“It was...wow, even I can’t remember. Probably because you kicked my so bad the first time,” Zhangmi laughs. “Had me flipped and on my back in seconds.”

“Don’t you want to see if you’ve gotten better?” he asks, cocking his head with a teasing gleam in his eyes. “Didn’t think you’d be so afraid of losing.”

“I am not.” Her competitiveness aroused, she stands, dusts off her pants, and steps into the sand, assuming the beginning stance. “Bring it, panda.”

    With a smirk, Tao slips off his shoes and joins her, mirroring her body’s stance. They stand there, crouched and still as statues except for their breathing, waiting. The muscles in his bicep tense a second before his right leg kicks out. Zhangmi blocks it with her forearm, immediately retaliating with her own kick. He dodges out of her range and the dance of bodies begin. The swishing hiss of spraying sand and smack of muscle against muscle disrupt in the otherwise silent night as the two of them give and take. As they connect and part, Zhangmi frowns, unsure if Tao’s playing with her or not since she’s lasting longer than she’d thought.

    Distracted, she misses Tao’s leg striking out to knock her feet out from under her. As she falls, he reaches out to catch her. Grabbing his arm, she tries to reverse the situation by twisting, but he rolls with her so when they hit sand, he’s half lying beside her, half lying on top of her.

Tao quickly grabs her wrists and pins them over her head. “Got you again,” he chuckles quietly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Zhangmi sighs, closing her eyes and scolding herself in her head. Stupid mistake. A novice mistake.

    When she realizes he hasn’t moved, she looks at him. Tao gazes down at her, his eyes shadowed and unreadable in the darkness, with only a faint hint of light flickering in their depths. Zhangmi’s heart, already beating fast from the match, quickens its pace. This only makes her more aware of their chests pressing together, their breath mixing.

“Tao?” she says questioningly. “What-”

    Her words are cut of when he lowers his head and gently brushes with his. She freezes, eyes widening.

Tao pulls away a little, releasing her hands and propping himself up on his elbows. He shyly ducks his head and lets out a sigh before saying, “I like you, Zhangmi. I know you think I’m just your little brother or whatever, but I’m not a kid. I know what I want...and it’s you.”

Slowly, he reaches out a hand to her cheek. Even more slowly, he leans down again, watching her reaction.

    Zhangmi’s eyes flutter shut as his perfect cupid’s bow lips find hers again. Warm and silky, they move tentatively at first. When her arms come up to wrap around his neck and bring him closer, Tao smiles into the kiss. His lips slide and teasingly caress hers with more confidence, his arms sliding underneath her body to cradle her to him. Zhangmi kisses him back earnestly, not even trying to understand why her blood is so unexpectedly singing. It just feels too good, too right to question.

When he pulls away again, Zhangmi blinks her eyes open again, dazed. Shakily, she asks, “Remind me again, why-...why you waited to do that?”

His own breath as unsteady as hers, Tao answers, “I’m thinking I was crazy not to now, but it was because-....because in your eyes, I wasn’t a man; just some kid always following you around.”

“Believe me, I don’t think of you that way anymore.”

“Good. Does that mean you’ll go out with me then?” he asks, some of his usual smile coming back. “I’m prepared to do ‘buuing-buuing’ if you try to say no.”

She loosens one arm so she can lightly punch his chest. “You know I can’t resist that.”

“Exactly why I’d use it.”

“In that case, I’d better say ‘yes,’ shouldn’t I? That is, if you’re serious and not just pulling an old lady’s leg.”

He shakes his head, his anxious sincerity clear in his voice. “You’re not old! I really do like you and-”

This time it’s Zhangmi who initiates the kiss. Just before her mind is completely lost, a thought pushes through. “I have one condition.”

“What’s that?”

She smiles shyly. “Can I still call you my panda?”

Tao laughs, rubbing her nose with his. “Of course.”

    
    Hours later, after they’d talked and kissed a dozen, a million times more, Zhangmi is still lying on the cool sand, kept safe and warm in Tao’s arms. She smiles as she watches his sleeping,  moonlight lit face, seeing it in a new light than she had ever seen it before. Tracing his lips with a finger, she stifles a giggle as he smiles in his sleep and cuddles her closer to his chest. Zhangmi rests her head in the crook of her shoulder and shuts her eyes, eager to see how it feels to wake up in the arms of her new found love.