note: not rating this, but there's a bit of language in here. shrug.

---

"Hey, Han ! Did you get my message ?"

The angelic sound of Joonmyun's voice flutters through Yifan's ear, startling the male out of his rhythmic stride to the powerful beats of Jay-Z pounding in his other ear. Without another second to spare, the blonde sprints to the nearest and thickest tree, hiding himself behind the wide trunk and out of the other man's sight.

Although his afternoon classes had concluded, and the Ralph Lauren and Armani outlets were seducing him with the latest spring fashions, Yifan couldn't resist catching any extra glimpses of this sheer personification of hot damn.

Kim Joonmyun. The fine beauty in his politics class with a voice like honey and a supercomputer for a brain. Yifan's had his eyes set and locked on this lovely specimen since first semester, and he's sure that his oh so subtle and suave flirting during the three weeks that he and Joonmyun worked together on their politics midterm project has the latter smitten. Yifan had counted all the precious little giggles and laughs, in response to his brilliant and witty jokes, that Joonmyun had uttered in his presence during those fateful weeks. Ten, es. Ten.

Get to the back of the line 'cause Wu Yifan's number one in line for possession of Joonmyun's fine -- heart.

As he hears Joonmyun's footsteps slowing to a halt, Yifan peeks his head out from behind the tree to spy Joonmyun lingering next to a bench, his fingers tracing the intricate designs engraved on the arm rests as he babbles with excitement into his cellular.

"Were you not listening when I explained him the first time ? All right, I'll tell you about him again. But pay attention. This is what you can't have because I'll be the one taking him."

The blonde's ears perked, his attention piqued by the rather confident and energetic tone from the seemingly quiet and mellow Joonmyun.

"He's really tall, and he's got a nice physique too. He probably works out."

Uh, say hello to the twins here: Ben and his equally handsome brother Ben. The blonde grins wide as he flexes his biceps and admires his prized set of fine-toned muscles.

He's unbelievably handsome from head to toe, and he's really fashionable."

Peasants, step aside. The world is Wu Yifan's runway.

"You know, people tend to say that he always wears an unfriendly or cold expression on his face, but he's actually really nice and sweet. He has a charming smile that's nowhere near frigid."

The blonde nods his head in approval, for he has gotten quite sick of hearing everyone label him as the resident face. He couldn't help the fact that everyone was obviously blinded by his dashing good looks, which resulted in their inability to properly see and appreciate his blessed face.

"Actually, he wasn't. You won't even believe where he's from." 

All rise for the anthem of the maple leaf.

"He's Canadian. Hot, right ? I hear they're like bears, if you catch my drift." A nearly obscene smirk curls over Joonmyun's lips, effectively sending Yifan's entire being into a raging typhoon.

All hail the not-so-innocent Kim Joonmyun, all ing hail.

"Oh yeah, definitely a y talker. He's got that low, alluring voice for it." A dazzling grin stretches Joonmyun's cheeks to seemingly painful lengths as he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, it back before a mirthful laugh rumbles in his throat at whatever joke the person on the other end of the line had made.

Yifan doesn't even notice that his mouth hangs agape, his jaw slack as he continues to peek at the younger male engrossed in his ever entertaining conversation.

"I hope he hasn't noticed how I get by his flawless English."

Huh. Apparently the blonde had started to also drool a thin trail of saliva right off the corner of his gaping mouth.

"Hey, I need to get going. Talk to you later, Han." 

Here's my chance, he muses, swinging one of his long legs out from behind the tree and unveiling himself with a smug smirk lining his lips. Just as he's about to beckon Joonmyun over with a drawl, a husky and low voice resounds through his ears, the distinctive sound of English trapping his attention.

"Hey, Joonmyun !"

Yifan's head whirls to the right where he finds a tall, debonair, and undeniably handsome young man walking briskly in long strides towards a visibly b Joonmyun, who welcomes the newcomer with a celestial smile.

"Hyungjin, hello."

"Ready to go ?"

"More than ever."

Yifan gapes at the two as Joonmyun rests a delicate hand on the bent elbow outstretched towards him in an inviting manner. The shorter male's brilliant eye smile disappears suddenly as he glances behind him, spotting the listless blonde beside the tree.

"Oh hey, Yifan ! Didn't see you back there." He excuses himself for a moment to glide over to Yifan, the sweet smile on his lips dissolving into a tight frown as creases form along his forehead.

"Hey, Joonmyun," the blonde manages to murmur, his countenance frozen in a perpetual expression of horror and disbelief.

"There's something I should probably tell you, Yifan." He chews on the inside of his lip, his gaze wandering towards the lush grass teeming along the roots of the large oak.

Tell me he's your cousin.

"Your fly's down."

Yifan's eyeballs creak towards his pants, his expression unchanging as he confirms with his own eyes that he's in fact left the window open for little Kevin Junior down there. He doesn't even spare Joonmyun a glance as he attempts to screw the rules of physics and disappear or disintegrate into thin air. He utters a dumb, pathetic "uh," failing to grace the other with even an ounce of eloquence. Joonmyun offers a sympathetic smile, shaking his head with a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"No need to thank me. It's what friends do."

Friends.

Friends.

Friends.

Friends.

Friends.

The word echoes loudly in Yifan's ears as he numbly watches Joonmyun wave farewell before attaching himself again to that guy who's not him and walking off through the gates of the university campus, the wind whistling through his hair and the forgotten gap of his jeans above the zipper.

---

sorry not sorry for anyone actually expecting krisho haha. or expecting something actually good or sane.

in case you didn't know, park hyungjin is the real name of e.den from lc9. go check them out, holy crap i'm in love with this group and "mama beat." and yes, e.den is canadian, tall, insanely gorgeous, speaks fluent english without an accent, and resembles kris a little though i think e.den's much more handsome but my opinion aside. coincidentally, he also has a deep voice and is the main rapper of lc9.

so here you go. enjoy this little slice of crack.