Whisper

 of the
                   Heart  

There was a beeping noise that filled the room, and a rushing air that swept through her nose and filled her longs without waiting for her to take a breath. Her back ached and she longed to roll over, but there was something keeping her from moving, and that was when seventeen year old Tiffany Hwang opened her eyes and found herself staring at an unfamiliar ceiling that did not belong to her. It was not pink or have glow in the dark stars stuck everywhere. She blinked a few times to adjust her vision to the sudden brightness of the room and it was then she finally got a good look around.

Of course the ceiling seemed unfamiliar, this wasn’t her bedroom and it certainly was not in her home. Coming to the sudden realization where she was, Tiffany’s eyes filled with tears and a shiver of fear rolled down her spine; it was a hospital, and there was an oxygen mask strapped to her face. But what terrified her most was the huge cast that covered her leg and her purple toes that peeked out at the end.

Panic instantly ensued, and Tiffany took in a deep gasp of air. A million thoughts and questions swam through her utterly confused mind, but what stood out most was the urgent need for her father who was nowhere to be seen. The beeping sound began to go crazy and the obnoxious sound went into a loud frenzy.

Teeeep Teeeep Teeeep Teep Teep Teeeep

Amongst her frantic breathing, the teen could hear the click-clack click-clack of shoes thudding against the floor near her room, and seconds later a female nurse appeared in the doorway with a worried expression on her face.

“Calm down, calm down. It’s okay, sweetie, you’re okay,” The woman said hurriedly as she moved towards the breathing machine. After pressing a few buttons, the high pitched noise cease and she then turned to face Tiffany. “Don’t worry, Dr. Han will be here in just a – oh, here he is now.”

Tiffany looked back at the door, her eyes watery with unshed tears, and set gaze upon a tall male with a stethoscope around his neck and a white jacket. She took another deep breath to calm herself down, knowing that he would explain everything to her, and most likely find her father. However, before Dr. Han said anything he pulled a little light out of his pocket, used one hand to force her eye lid open further, and flashed the brightness in much to her annoyance. Jerking her head away, Tiffany bit her lip as the tears finally rolled down her cheeks.

“Okay, she’s awake now,” Dr. Han said, glancing at the nurse. Turning his attention back to Tiffany, he smiled softly and pat her head. “Hello, sweetheart. I bet you’re confused and a little scared, huh?”

Tiffany nodded miserable and sniffed, her head hung low, unsure if she was allowed to speak with the oxygen mask on. Dr. Han seemed to read her thoughts and reached over to unclasp the elastic that kept it secured in place.

“Where’s my dad?” Tiffany whispered hoarsely; felt dry and raw, and coughing only made it worse so Dr. Han poured her a glass of water from the pitcher on the side table. After taking a generous gulp, the cold water spread through her body and felt so good, she looked at him longingly. “I just want my dad.”

Dr. Han nodded and turned to the nurse, telling her to go ahead and call Mr. Hwang. Once she was gone and the door shut behind her, Dr. Han faced Tiffany once again, smiling in a friendly manner.

“Can you tell me a little about yourself?” He asked her in a gentle tone, as if he were talking to a child. But it was simple protocol to keep calm so the patients didn’t freak out, and right now he really needed her cooperation to figure out the full extent of her injuries. He just wanted to take the worry out for Mr. Hwang that his daughter didn’t have a brain injury from the accident.

Tiffany nodded slightly and her lips, taking a deep breath.

“My name is Tiffany Hwang, I’m seventeen. I live with my father just outside of Seoul, and my mom died when I was thirteen,” She replied in a wavering tone, and Dr. Han hummed in confirmation.

“Good, that’s very good, Tiffany. Now, I’m going to ask you a few simple questions. It’s okay if you don’t know th4 answers,” He told her, patting her hand appraisingly. When she nodded in agreement he began. “What is ten plus five?”

“Fifteen.”

“The letter that comes before N?”

“M.”

“You’re doing great. Sixteen times two?”

“Thirty-two.”

“What year is it?”

“1994.”

Dr. Han’s eyes widened slightly and his heart skipped a beat, but then Tiffany cracked a smile and giggled softly. “Just kidding, sorry. It’s twenty thirteen,” She replied, looking away guiltily.

“Alright, one last question. Do you remember what happened? Do you know why you’re in the hospital?” He asked, tilting his head curiously.

“Um, I, uh, I think I got hit by a car?” Tiffany answered unsurely, furrowing her brows as she tried to think back. Her head felt a bit foggy and drowsy, but she could vaguely recall walking around town and crossing a street. After a sudden impact and pain, everything came to a blank. She wasn’t a genius, but she knew at that point she must’ve been knocked unconscious.

“I’m very impressed, Miss Tiffany. It normally takes a few days for people to remember their accidents,” Dr. Han praised her, and mentally he sighed in relief. Tiffany Hwang was strong, much stronger than any patient he’d treated before. Not only did she allow her mind to remember something terrifying, but the way she so easily allowed herself to relax and stay calm while she waited for her father was very appraising; not to mention she even cracked a joke. There was no doubt in his mind that she would recover quite quickly from this.

“Dr. Han?” Tiffany said, breaking through the doctor’s thoughts. “How long was I out for? And what’s wrong with my leg? Am I going to be able to walk again?”

The worry was evident in her voice, she knew this. But just the thought of never being able to walk again was frightening. She’d never thought of the simple movement as something that she would ever lose the ability to do, to run freely with no worries in the world and feel the wind blow through her hair. Her eyes widened and her heart sped up with a sudden thought – what if her hips had been affected and she couldn’t get pregnant later on in life?

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. You were only out for two days,” Dr. Han assured her as he stood up. Moving to the end of the bed, he pointed to her casted leg as he continued on, “It was a clean break, but your nerves weren’t affected so yes, you’ll be able to walk again.”

“And have kids?”

Dr. Han smiled softly; even at such a young age it was the one hope for every girl to grow up and be a mother.

“And have kids, but only after you’re thirty-five and married for ten years,” He responded in a fatherly sort of way. “I hate to leave you like this, Miss Tiffany, but I’m afraid that I have to continue on my rounds and check up on my other patients. Will you be okay until your father comes?”

Tiffany nodded and relaxed against the pillows propped behind her head, and sighed softly. Closing her eyes, she listened to Dr. Han’s footsteps disappear into the hallway and then decided that it wouldn’t hurt to take a small nap before her dad arrived.

Hospitals were boring. Tiffany hated hospitals.

While she had very much enjoyed the love and attention that had been poured upon her by her father and relatives last night, without them it was dull and there nothing to do, no one to entertain her. Now, her father was at work, her friends were at school, and Dr. Han was in another part of the hospital; even the nurses only came every other hour to check on her.

Sighing restlessly, the teen girl leaned forward on the little table attached to her bed and tapped her nails against the hard surface. Glancing aimlessly around the small resident room she was in, disappointment swelled up in her mind and she frowned unhappily when she realized that there wasn’t even a TV in the room. This , she thought with a huff, puffing out her cheeks in a pouting manner. Why do these sorts of things always happen to me? First it was flying off the swings when I was nine, then it was tripping down the stairs, and then I have to go and get hit by a car. I must’ve been a horrible person in my past life and killed kittens or something.

Giggling at the thought, Tiffany rolled her eyes and shook the bangs out of her face. Leaning back against the pillows once again, she mischievously eyes the red call button on the side of the bed, which one push would bring a nurse rushing into her room. She contemplated pressing it, but the idea of getting chided for taking advantage of it wouldn’t be worth the ten seconds of amusement; Dr. Hand had warned her that it was only to be pressed if she had to use the bathroom or was feeling any pain. Having grown fond of the older man, she didn’t want to break his trust.

Much to her relief, the now familiar sound of footsteps came right outside her door, and she perked up immediately. Whether it was just one of the nurses coming for a checkup or someone bringing her a midday snack, Tiffany just wanted a little companionship. However, the knock on the door told her that it wasn’t either, which only thrilled her more; she had a visitor.

“Come in!” She called excitedly, sitting up eagerly as she tried to keep from grinning like a maniac. She didn’t want whoever it was to think that she was some lunatic that smiled at everything.

Slowly the door pushed open, and a mop of messy black hair appeared before her, and Tiffany felt her heart stop. Maybe she hadn’t tortured kittens in a past life, because karma had just delivered her the iest guy she had ever laid eyes on.

“Hi,” The guy said softly, walking over with a bouquet of get well flowers in hand. As he came closer, Tiffany peered up at him in awe, and momentarily forgetting how to speak she uttered the most embarrassing thing she could imagine in front of a guy.

“Oh, er, um, hey-wo. I mean, hey! I was going to say hello, but then it sort of just came out like – so, hi there, are those for me?” She spluttered as a red ting flooded her cheeks.

“Of course they are,” The guy replied with the most handsome, hundred-watt smile that rivaled her own.

Tiffany smiled shyly and reached to take them, mumbling a thank you before she inspected them. They were roses, pink ones, and the prettiest flowers she had ever seen. Even though her father had brought a colorful bouquet last night as well, it just didn’t compare to being gifted by this Greek god.

“I like them, they smell good,” She said brightly, setting them down on the table. Smiling up at the stranger, she continued on, “My name’s Tiffany, what’s yours?”

His smile faltered, a sudden emotion flashed in his eyes for a brief second before he shifted his weight to the other foot, and Tiffany had the horrible thought that maybe he didn’t like her western name. Her worry was cleared and a second later he smiled softly, eyes flickering to the floor for a moment, before speaking.

“Kibum. My name’s Kibum.”

“So what are you doing around here, Kibum?” Tiffany asked curiously, twirling a piece of her hair with her fingers. “Are you like a candy stripe person?”

There was an awkward stillness that filled the room, and all that could be heard was the sound of their breaths and the distant noises of the nurse’s desk down the hall. With the way Kibum was staring at her, his eyes seemingly confused and blank, or perhaps cold and annoyed, it made her feel uncomfortable.

Did I say something that offended him? Was it candy stripe? Are those only girls?

“Sorry, I just thought that maybe you were – “ She began to apologize hurriedly, not wanting to make a fool of herself anymore. Karma was being a and toying with her, and it wasn’t fair.

However, Kibum shook his head and held up his hands to stop her. “No, no, it’s okay.  I just thought it would be nice to visit someone in the hospital and the nurse at the desk told me that you were here and so…yeah,” he finished lamely, frowning slightly. There was a certain melancholy strung between his words, and Tiffany had to wander if he was making excuses.

Then, her eyes widened as the most terrible thought crossed her mind.

What if he had come to visit his sick grandmother, only to find out that she had died during the night and thus he was left standing with a bouquet of pink roses like a man left standing at the altar, crushed, heartbroken, and alone?

“Oh, that’s just stupid,” She grumbled, shaking her head of such a foolish thought. Because no teenage boy in his right mind would buy pink roses for a dying old hag. But what if he isn’t in his right mind? Like, what if he wandered out of the psychiatric ward, stole flowers from the gift shop and then found my room? Oh my God, this can’t be happening! What if he’s –

“Um, what’s stupid?” Kibum asked, eyeing her strangely, and it was then that Tiffany realized that she had been staring at him like an idiot this entire time, and probably spoke out loud.

“Oh, nothing. Do you want to sit down?” She replied, gesturing to the chair, a desperate attempt to chance the subject. God forbid he share the same thought process and think that she was mentally disturbed as well. Much to her dismay, Kibum shook his head no and stood a step back. Oh God, he totally thinks I’m a weirdo. Way to go, Tiffany, way to go.

“Actually, I, uh, I can’t stay. Today. I have somewhere else to go, but, um, I’ll be back to visit again, Tiffany,” He stuttered, unable to look her in the eye.

And just like that, he was gone.

Groaning loudly at her epic fail, Tiffany slumped against the table and sighed loudly. At that moment, the squeaky wheels of the food cart came to a stop at her room and the bright voice of one of the nurses filled the room.

“It’s snack time!” She sang loudly, strutting in with a tray of cookies and milk in her hands. Tiffany glanced up momentarily, thinking that maybe, just maybe she could be aided by the fattening comfort of chocolate chip cookies, but then decided that it just didn’t make up for her social awkwardness.

“Nurse, I think I boiled kittens in water in my past life,” She whined miserably, burying her face into her arms to hide her shame away from the world. She felt the snack tray placed before her and then a pat on her head.

“There, there, love. It’s just the pain medication talking.”

Perhaps God was keeping tabs, and maybe she had done some random act of kindness to a stranger at some point in her life, but as promised Kibum had returned the next afternoon and Tiffany couldn’t be happier.

“You came back!” said the teen girl enthusiastically as Kibum sauntered into the room, holding a flower in hand. He smiled and nodded, resuming the same position he’d been standing in the previous day, and handed over the flower.

“I said I would, didn’t I?” He reminded her, and Tiffany took the flower graciously. It was a pink rose again, and it looked even prettier than the others.

Smiling softly, Tiffany nodded. “Yeah, you did.”

Nodding contently, Kibum sat down on the same chair that she had offered yesterday, and looked at her patiently. “How have you been, Tiffany? Does your leg hurt at all?” He asked, concern clear in his voice.

“No, not really. Dr. Han has me on good pain relief, so my leg is sort of numb. I think it makes me a bit loopy too, hence why I was being so weird yesterday,” Tiffany informed him, her eyes twinkling as she covered herself. He came back, and she didn’t want to scare him off again. The last thing she wanted was to spend the next two weeks losing her mind from loneliness.

“Okay, if you say so,” Kibum laughed, and Tiffany giggled in response.

“I do say so. Anyway, where’d you run off to yesterday?” She asked curiously, tilting her head to the side in an innocent manner.

Kibum paused before answering, and the same bitter look from yesterday graced his eyes once again. his lips, Kibum glanced down at his hands and began to speak.

“I went home,” He said, twiddling his thumbs together.

“Did your mom and dad expect you back?” Tiffany questioned, leaning against her elbows on the table. She watched him curiously, waiting for an answer. Kibum was interesting to her, a complete stranger that she wanted to know more about. Maybe it was just the loneliness, but she felt drawn to him. His eyes were an enigma, and she wanted to know what exactly was that emotion hidden behind his soft gaze.

Shrugging his shoulders, Kibum’s eyes went blank for a moment before the light returned. “He isn’t my father, but he took me in about a year ago.”

“Well, how come? Where are you parents?” Tiffany pressed on, knowing that she was being nosy.

“I don’t really know,” Kibum replied quietly, “They left after my little sister died.”

An uncomfortable silence took place once again, and Tiffany narrowed her eyes and scrutinized Kibum closely. She couldn’t tell if he was being truthful or not, but the solemn expression on his face told her that he didn’t just make that up. And then she had to wander why she’d doubted him in the first place; people don’t just lie about this sort of thing.

Sighing softly, she frowned and reached over to place her hand on top of his, and a tingling sensation spread through her fingers at the touch of his warmth.

“I’m sorry, that must’ve been terrible. I lost my mom when I was thirteen, so it’s just been my dad and I since then,” Tiffany told him. In the back of her mind she couldn’t fathom how a person, just a boy at that, could go on with life after losing their entire family. Just by the death of her mother, she herself had been a complete mess for almost a year afterwards, and yet here Kibum was making friends with a stranger and letting life go on; she commended him on that.

The two sat there in silence for several minutes, a change of subject much desired. However, as the thought flowed through each of their minds, both Tiffany and Kibum opened their mouths to speak at the exact moment.

“Hey, so I was thinking that maybe while you’re here I could – “

“Do you like chocolate?”

Kibum stared at her incredulously, chuckling softly before nodding his head. “Chocolate? Yes, I do. I take it you like chocolate too?”

“Oh, hey, you rhymed,” Tiffany exclaimed excitedly, pointing at him accusingly. Inside she was dying, completely mortified. Never in her two years of high school had she ever been this horrible at interacting with the male species. Tiffany Hwang was beautiful, inside and out, and she was popular, friends with everyone because of her popping and friendly personality. She naturally drew people towards her with a single smile and her sparkling eyes. Yet here she was asking this possible boyfriend potential if he liked chocolate.

The light must have been shining down on her that day, because Kibum just laughed – the most melodious sound Tiffany had ever heard that made her heart race and her face heat up.

“Then how about I bring you chocolate every time I come to visit?” He offered with a smile.

“You promise?” She asked hopefully, and Kibum nodded earnestly.

“I promise.”

Kibum was a gentleman, one that that belonged in the wrong century.

He was kind, his heart was more generous than half the population of Tiffany’s high school and he did it without expecting anything in return. On the fourth day, the nurse had to stop the pain medication to numb her leg, and she was in too much pain to hold a conversation without crying like a baby for her father. Instead of getting fed up and leaving, Kibum stayed by her side for hours talking about anything and everything to take her mind off the pain.

Kibum was also patient and listened very well. At one point, Tiffany unfolded her aspiring dreams for the future – to finish college, get a job as an English teacher, and to marry the perfect man. All the while, Kibum had listened to every little detail, even the nitpicky points about her dream guy. Halfway through, she realized that she was describing him, and if he realized this as well, he just smiled and nodded for her to continue on.

But what she liked most about him was the way his eyes portrayed the emotions and hidden thoughts that he never dared speak aloud. Contrary to the deep conversations they held, Tiffany could always see that he was holding back, that there were things that he couldn’t bring himself to speak about. He was an open book full of captivating stories and words so bold and meaningful that she could never seem to bring herself to look away, but between the lines laid something deeper that dwelled in the pit of those quizzical brown orbs. Kibum was an enigma, a puzzle that she wanted to figure out so desperately, but the guessing always kept her mind caught up that she wasn’t sure if she wanted to learn too soon.

Although they’d only been acquainted for just over a week, it felt like they’d known each other for much longer, and both young adults felt as if they could spend an eternity in each other’s presence. But just as the sun set each evening and up rose the moon, their visits always came to an end and Kibum would leave for the night and return the next day.

“Do you just go home once you leave?” T