I never expected it.  When the director told us that he would have a kiss scene, I secretly hoped it would be me.  That was when I had to face the fact that I really did like him.  He always made my knees weak and heart beat faster and it was like he gave sugar to the butterflies in my stomach.  I just never wanted to admit that I liked him.  Yeah, we’ve done some fanservice, but it’s not like it ever meant anything.  I wish it did.  I wish every night could be like that episode of LO/\E Story.  I wish I could tell him how I actually feel about him.  We will start filming out music video for Hello tomorrow and I can’t wait to get it over with.

            I climb into bed and JR joins me soon after.  We lay there in silence for a while and I assume he fell asleep.  I slowly inch closer to him and he doesn’t notice.  Pretty soon, we are so close that if I move any closer, we would be touching.  A sudden wave of bravery washes over me as I carefully rest my head on his chest.  His arm travels along my back and finally wraps around me as he whispers, “You cold, Minki?” my heart is racing; I can’t get caught.  I stumble around a yeah and he chuckles.

            “So, tomorrow’s the big day.  You nervous?”  I ask as I settle down in JR’s warmth. 

            “Not really; I’m more excited,” he replies.  I ask him what the best part of filming is going to be and I instantly regret asking when he answers.  “Kissing Nam Bora, duh.  She’s hot.”  JR laughs and I attempt a giggle.  I don’t try to talk more and eventually fall asleep in the arms of our charismatic leader. 

            The next morning, I wake up alone.  I make my way to the kitchen for some food.  I am ignored by the others, which I am totally fine with.  They know not to talk to me in the morning until I’ve had my breakfast.  I’m not a morning person and they learned that the hard way.  Even still, I’m not as bad as Baekho; that guy is IMPOSSIBLE. 

            After I eat, I go take a “quick” shower.  This means I don’t sing or daydream (about JR), which cuts the usual time in half.  My shower still takes twenty-five minutes.  Like I care.  I need to make sure my hair is perfect since we’re filming the actual music video today. 

            We eventually arrive to the filming location and we meet Nam Bora.  My first scene isn’t going to be for a while.  When we finally get to my scenes with Nam Bora, I’m getting impatient.  I want to film the dance scenes and I want them to go ahead and get that kiss scene out of the way so I don’t have to worry about it anymore.  Unfortunately, the dance scenes are second to last and the kiss scene is last.  The only thing that gets my through my scenes is pretending that Nam Bora is JR.  I know that’s lame, but really, I can’t stand the girl.  I’m glad that she’s cheating on me and I have to break up with her. 

            After my scenes are finished, I go and grab a bite to eat.  It’s about noon and I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.  As I’m about to take a mouthful of a savory doughnut, someone slaps me on the back, almost making me drop my doughnut.  I scowl at them, but clear my face as soon as I see that it’s JR.

            “You did great, Minki-Ya,” JR says with an affectionate smile.  I return the smile and take a bite of my doughnut.  I murmur my thanks and continue nibbling on my food nervously.  Before we know it, it’s time for the dance scenes.  FINALLY!  I get to do something besides sitting around and eating junk food.  The dance scenes take a reeeeeeeeeeally long time to film because we have to get them perfect. 

            Then comes the scene that I’ve been dreading.  The kiss. 

            My heart beats faster and faster as they get closer and closer.  The second their lips connect, I feel sudden anger and jealousy burn inside of me like instant oatmeal.  I clench my fists as I wait for it to be over.  Of course, Baekho, being the little matchmaker he is, “tripped” and made a huge noise to ruin the scene.  They had to retake the kiss scene a bunch of times, and each one made my heart wrench.  Eventually, I can’t take it anymore and run outside into the snow. 

            When I’m out of ear and eyeshot, I sit in a snow bank and rest my head on my knees and attempt to not cry.  To distract myself, I grab a stick and draw in the snow.  Suddenly, I hear footsteps and dry my eyes.  I hadn’t realized that I was crying.  As I stand up, I see JR walking over to me.  I take a deep breath to hide the stabbing pain in my chest. 

            JR gets closer and my heart starts beating insanely fast.  Before I realize it, he’s standing right in front of me.  Our breath is visible as we just stand there, breathing and staring into each other’s eyes.  The silence is long, but not awkward.  I take the time to admire everything about JR’s face.  To my surprise, he speaks abruptly.

            “Are you okay?  I saw you run out and I got worried.  Manager Hyung wouldn’t let me leave until we finished though.  I made sure I did it perfectly and then I rushed out to find you.” He takes my hands in his as he says, “you have no idea how much I worry about you sometimes, Choi Minki.”  I open my mouth to say who knows what but I close it before I let something slip. 

            JR leans closer to me and I lower my head so he doesn’t see my eyes.  In my peripheral vision, I see his shoulders slump and I feel bad.  I take a step closer to him and wrap my arms around him.  He responds right away and hugs me back.  My heart is on a sugar high right now as I rest my head on his shoulder and bury my nose in his neck.  His hands roam around on my back in a comforting manner and I just relax. 

            “It meant nothing to me, in case you were wondering,” JR whispers in my ear.  My heart starts beating faster as I feel his breath on my ear and as I realize what his words mean.  I snuggle closer to JR and pull him towards me.  I don’t want to leave his arms.  But his comment last night makes me wonder.

            “But you said that it was going to be the best part of filming because Nam Bora Noona is ‘hot,’” I inquire cautiously.  JR chuckles and holds me closer, taking my breath away for a moment.

            “Yes, she’s hot,” JR starts.  Then he lowers his voice so that even if we were in a crowded room, only I can hear him. “But not as hot as you.”  His comment sends shivers up my spine.  Also, I embarrass myself by letting out a little squeak.  He pulls away from me, to my disappointment.  He makes up for it, however, but kissing me softly.  My senses run away from me as I just stand there, frozen, and letting him kiss me for who knows how long.  Once the shock goes away, I kiss him back.  He pulls me closer as I wrap my arms around his neck.  All too soon, we realize that we should be getting back.  JR grabs my hand as we walk back to the set. 

            That night, I curl up in JR’s arms as we fall asleep.  He absentmindedly rubs my back as I snuggle against his chest and listen to his heartbeat.  We still have to tell people about us, but we refuse to think about it at the moment.  All we care about right now is us and how much we LO/\E each other – pun intended.  Just as I’m about to fall asleep, JR leans over, kisses my jaw and says, “I love you, Minki-ya.”  That’s the last thing I register as I fall into a deep  sleep in the arms of the one I love.