Intae would be burning the night’s oil in his studio again. I didn’t know before, but he mostly works at night. He said it was best to get his creative juice flowing when the rest of the world falls asleep. He gets to focus more on his job. During the day, there are too many distractions, especially on his teaching days. He would be exhausted when he had classes, but he said he couldn’t give up teaching either. It gives him a different satisfaction. I could relate to him on that.

To cheer him up, I bring him some snacks in the middle of the night. Well, just some cut fruits and herbal energy drinks. He really appreciates it.

“So, what are you working on right now?” I stand next to him at his workstation. I slightly bend myself to peek on his computer.

“It’s a pop song for Sunmi. I’m thinking about a rapper featuring,” Intae explains and then plays the song for me. It is very catchy. I am no expert but I could tell that this song would be a hit.

“It’s good,” I tell him.

“Who do you think would fit for the rapper?”

“For the rapper... Hm... Maybe Choiza? I really like his voice.”

“Choiza. Yeah, he’s great. Choiza then. Guess I’ll notify the secretary to contact him tomorrow.”

My eyes widen. “Did you just choose him like that?”

Intae shrugs. “Why not? He’s good and would make a good pair with Sunmi. But then, it’s just a proposal. If the singer or the agency wants someone else, then I have no say about that.”

“I see.” I nod. I straighten my back again but Intae pulls me towards him by the waist. I fall on his lap, and struggl a bit to stand up again but he stops me from doing so. He wraps both his arms around my waist and pulls me closer to him. I can feel my cheeks heating up.

“What are you doing?” I half-whisper to him. I rest my arms on his chest. Awkward as it might be but it would be more awkward and uncomfortable to put my hands at other place.

“I miss you. I wish I can be with you tonight,” he whispers to me, his hand caresses my back up and down, ever so gently.

My cheeks feel hotter, and my heart pounds so hard that it feels difficult to breathe. Damn, he is such a tease.

“But you have to finish this song by tomorrow, so, no.”

Intae sighs. “I know.”

“So let me go now.”

“Kiss me first.”

That was annoying, but still adorable all the same. I am frustrated that no matter what he does, he is just so charming and attractive. All I could do in the end is laugh.

I cup his face and tilt his chin up. I bend lower and claim his smirking lips with mine. I want it to be chaste and light, but he stubbornly refuse to let me go and kisses me deeper.  I let out an embarrassing moan and feel his lips curving up to a smirk.

“Hyung-nim.”

I quickly jump on my feet at the sudden interruption, but lost my balance as soon as I did. I fall on the floor instead, which makes me cringe in embarrassment. I know whose voice it was. I look at Intae from under his desk, an annoyed look obviously plastered on his face as he stares back at the boy. I take the hand Intae offers me and let him pull me up. I purposely take my time before I face the guest so I can at least brush my hair proper with my fingers and wipe away possible smudged lipstick from my lips.

“I told you to knock the door before you enter countless times, didn’t I? One more of that and I’ll knock your head with my fist!” Intae warns him, which earned him a grunting reply from the younger male.

I finally turn around.

“Hi, Seunghoon.”

Seunghoon doesn’t respond to me. He looks away, seems just as annoyed as Inate is. I am not the bad guy or anything, or am I?

I cleare my throat and quickly gather my tuffs. “Well, it’s time for me to go! Bye, Intae. And see you at school tomorrow, Seunghoon.”

-

The day goes by as usual. Seunghoon attends his special class again today, as he did in the previous weeks. Something is a little off though. I think it is his attitude. No, he isn’t being difficult or anything. He is just a bit too quiet. Well, he is always quiet, but it is like, he is trying to be non-existant. He doesn’t speak a word and refuses eye contact with me.

 “Okay, I need someone to read the last question for us. Seunghoon, read it for us please.”

He doesn’t seem to be paying attention since the beginning of the class. I should at least ask him to do this so he could learn something by the end of the day. To my disappointment, Seunghoon still refuses to respond to me. He simply looks as if he is lost in his own world. Maybe he didn’t hear me.

“Seunghoon? Can you please read the last question?”

By then, the other students are all looking at him. He is usually one of the easiest to work with, because of our little pact. Seunghoon is different tonight and it is disappointing and frustrating. I don’t want to upset him so I try to be as gentle as I could with him.

“Kim Seunghoon. Don’t you hear me? I’m talking to you so would you please look at me. If you don’t want to read it you should at least tell me why.”

Seunghoon finally looks at me. I don’t like the look in his eyes. It seems as if there is anger, or hatred maybe. In short, his behavior seems peculiar to me.

“Seunghoon?”

“Is that a hickey?”

“What?” I look down but see nothing between my collar. But then I gasp when I remember that spot at my nape. It isn’t obvious, but you could probably see it if you look hard enough. I try to be cool with it but I button my collar up anyway, just to be safe. The kids are already laughing and ooh-ed and ah-ed about it. Some are already asking obnoxious questions to me. Good lord.

“It was a mosquito bite!” I say firmly.

“It must be one big mosquito,” Seunghoon mutters, which drew yet another wave of loud laughter from the class. He returns to his own world, ignoring everything else around him. I decide to ignore him for the night and read the last question myself to distract the class.

Seunghoon never tries to embarrass me in front of the class as other mischievous students would. His little joke was uncalled for, and it made me feel down more than I thought I would.

-

We’re having dinner at my place tonight. I cook! Well, we’d always been having dinner outside so I want to try something new this time. Something more refreshing, and more intimate. I am not an amazing cook or anything, but my cooking is pretty decent. I am not trying to impress him either, I just want to share a part of my daily life with him. The dinner is simple, and I set them as I usually do which is on a low table at the small living room. I am glad to see that Intae seems full of appetite tonight.

“Intae, I want to ask you about something.” I said carefully.

“What is it?”

“Is… Seunghoon behaving weird lately?”

Intae pauses for a while. He seems to be recalling something.

“Not really. He was quiet whenever he wasn’t being rude with me. But I don’t see him at the company a lot these days. Why? Did something happen at school?”

I shake my head. “I can’t tell for sure, but it feels like… it feels like he hated me now.”

“Why?”

“He has been avoiding me the whole week. He refuses to talk to me, or even look at me.”

Intae nods and looks as if he is having another thought.

“Do you want me to talk with him about it?”

I quickly shake my head. “It’s okay.” I smile at him. “I’ll talk with him about it.”

As soon as Intae and I finish eating, I bring the dirty dishes to the sink. I stare at the piled dishes as I think about Seunghoon. Would it work if I simply call him over and ask him about it? Or should I observe him for a little bit and figure out the actual problem? Sigh. Why do I feel so anxious? I couldn’t calm down. It feels like this is a bad omen of something worse to come.

“Let me do the dishes.”

I flinch, surprised that he suddenly comes from behind me and wraps his arms around me.

“Intae…”

“You seem really out of it.” He drops a gentle kiss on my temple before he takes over my spot infront of the sink. “Was it that bad?”

I lean against the kitchen counter as I watch him doing the washing.

“I just… don’t feel too good about it. Oh, but don’t worry about me. It’s just my habit, you know, overthinking things.”

Intae is almost finished with the dishes. There aren’t a lot to start with. I guess it’s time for him to leave, since he has to return to his office. He wipes his hands on a hung towel above the sink and then turns to me. He steps closer to me, puts an arm around my waist an the other gently caresses along my jawline with the back of his fingers. I love how secure that makes me feel.

“Just call me if you need to talk, okay?”

“Yeah.”

He bends his neck and leaves a sweet kiss on my lips. 

-

The bell rings. I gather my stuffs on the table and return my thanks to the class after they recite their greeting. The kids scramble to their feet as recess period starts, which make me laugh at their antics. I stretch my neck to observe the seat at the farthest in the back. Seunghoon is sitting still in his seat. His arms crossed, his chin resting on his chest, eyes closed and earphones stuck in his ears.

"Kim Seunghoon," I call him. He probably doesn’t even have his mp3 player . He just doesn’t want people to talk to him.

"Meet me after school ends."

And I leave the class.

I'm not in charge of the night study session that day, but stays anyway to wait for Seunghoon. The night study session has just started, but Seunghoon never comes. I'm feeling disappointed but I don’t want to give up just yet. I call his number but there is no anwer. I even ask Intae, but he says Seunghoon doesn’t come to the company that night. In fact, Seunghoon hasn’t been around for a couple of days already. I decide to take a walk to clear my head.

I climb the stairs, heading to the rooftop as I try to call Seunghoon again. I pause right before climbing to the next flight of stairs when I thought I heard familiar ringtones. I keep the phone call connected as I carefully venture further into the hallway. The ringtone echoes louder.

He must be somewhere nearby. I realize that the music room is right ahead of me. I end the unanswered call, and pull open the door to the music room.

Just as I expect, Seunghoon is there, sitting by the window at the front of the class, smoking.

"If I were other teachers, you'd be in for another week of toilet cleaning."

Seunghoon looks over at me, his face is so transparent I could read what is on his mind right now. Great, it's her again. What now? Still, I'm determined to talk to him. He has been behaving well these days and then suddenly he avoids me and acts unusual.

I walk inside and lean against the teacher's desk at the front of the class. Seunghoon throws his cigarette on the floor and steps on it.

"What is it?" He asks me.

"Why didn’t you come to see me?"

"I have nothing to talk about."

"Well, I do."

"If it's about coming to school and stuffs, then there's nothing to talk about anymore. I'll come to school everyday, pass all my tests from now on. That's all." Seunghoon gets up to leave. I quickly reach for his shoulder, stopping him. Seunghoon suddenly grunts in pain, which makes me retract my hand immediately.

"S-Seunghoon, are you hurt?"

"It was nothing." He winces and rushes towards the door. I catch up to him and block the door. I pull his uniform collar aside to reaval a big, deep purple mark on his shoulder. He shoves my hand away angrily.

"Did you get into a fight again? Is that why you're not coming to Intae's company?" I ask him.

"Think what you want, but I'm not going there anymore."

My heart sinks, hearing that from his own mouth. He loves being there, I could tell.

"Why?"

"Look, it's not going to work, okay? My father knew! I go there one more time and he'll kill me! Heck, he would even kill you boyfriend if he has to!"

The truth dawns upon me. "Y… Your father did this?" I gently touch his shoulder again. He steps away from me.

"Don’t touch me! Don’t ever talk to me again."

"Seunghoon, I know it's hard, but you don’t have to give up your passion like this. I'll talk to your father. I'll find a way."

"It's not just about my father! I tell you, this is not going to work. I'm all messed up inside!"

"Seunghoon, I don’t understand. Intae and I will help you, I promise. Tell me what's bothering your mind."

"You adults are too much! It's difficult enough with my father and now I have to put up with you too!"

"W-what did I do wrong?"

"I don’t care! Just leave!  I don’t want you to exist in my life!"

My heart shreds to pieces. I didn’t know Seunghoon thinks that way about me. Just when I thought he is opening up to me… I blink away the tears that are blurring my sight. Despite feeling like it is being stabbed, my heart pounds hard against my chest and my cheeks feel hot.

"Do you… Hate me that much, Seunghoon?"

"It's not! Damn it!"

Seunghoon grabs my shoulders and pushes me against the door. I am so shocked that I freeze from head to toe the moment he buries his lips on mine. His kiss is violent and demanding that it scares me. I close my eyes tight. I hit his arms and try to push him away from me.

As if he just snaps back to conscience, he lets go of me in an instant and stares back at me with scared eyes. My words stuck in my throat. I just stare at him without being able to say anything. I don’t know what to say. Should I be angry? Or should I comfort him? Because he obviously looks like he needs it. I can see the regret in his eyes, now wet with tears as well. His face is red, his lips trembling.

" I-I'm sorry. I won't hurt you again, I promise…"

His voice is shaky. He is just as afraid as I am, though for different reasons. I watch silently as he leaves the class. I can almost see the burden on his back. I don’t want him to go, but what should I tell him?

I didn’t know that I have become one of those people who hurt him too.