My arms tighten around Onew’s neck as he moves his arms to support my back and knees. He stands, almost falling as he steps on the hem of his robe.

“How? How can you take me back?” I sniffle as the prince easily strides from the garden.

Onew offers a half smile “Being a prince comes with some advantages other than living in a palace.”

He offers no other explanation and we remain silent afterwards. Unlike the many times before, the feeling of being held by Onew is comforting, almost soothing. Somehow the corridors we pass through are completely deserted. His steps slow as we arrive at the pavilion Minho and Taemin had taken me to. It seems like years ago instead of days. In a sense, it really has been years.

“Can you stand?”

The sound of Onew’s voice in my ear makes me look at his face, those golden eyes so close to mine. “Yes.”

He carefully sets me down, his hands lingering on my back until he’s sure I wasn’t lying. “Lilly, where are your shoes?”

Bemused, I look down and wiggle my toes. “I don’t know. I...I must’ve lost them when I was running.”

“You like to do that, don’t you?” With a small chuckle, Onew kneels and picks up my foot, slipping on the green slipper that suddenly appeared in his hand. After he puts its mate on my other foot, he stands and says, “Stay here, all right?”

I nod.

Wordlessly, Onew walks further into the pavilion until he reaches its center. Giving me a glance, he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. The air grows warmer. A small gasp escapes my lips as Onew starts to glow with a golden-green light. The scene before me resembles a slowed animation as the prince’s body shifts and grows, his clothes and human aspects seamlessly morphing and disappearing.

The glow fades as quickly as it had appeared. I can barely believe my eyes for while Yifan’s dragon form had been breathtaking, the dragon before me now surpasses magnificence. Taking up a third of the room, his long sinuous body and strong limbs ripple with muscles beneath supple emerald scales. The room seems even smaller as the dragon stretches until his face is a few feet away and level with mine.

I look in Onew’s eyes in wonder. Those golden eyes watch me carefully, something in their depths begging for my approval, for me to not be afraid. Tentatively, I close the distance between us and reach up to touch his nose, slightly surprised by the warmth.

“You’re beautiful,” I whisper.

I slide both my hands across his scales, following the contours of his proud head, going around his long whiskers. A low rumble, almost like a purr, sounds from his chest as he closes his eyes and bows his head. My hands continue their exploration to his mane. The color of the oak leaves, it flows around his head and down his neck, curved golden horns resting on top in a crowning glory. I can’t resist running my fingers through his hair and delighting in the liquid smoothness of it.

“Do you still wish to go?” he asks, opening an eye to look at me. His voice is stronger than Yifan’s as it resonates in my mind, but still as gentle as when he’s human.

“Yes. Please.”

“You must promise to do exactly as I say.”

“I promise.”

Onew blinks slowly and motions with his head. “Use my leg to climb onto my back.”

He lowers himself so his belly touches the floor and tucks his foreleg close to his body. I step on his clawed feet, pulling myself up on his knee.

“Hold on.” Moving slowly so I won’t fall, Onew lifts his leg so I can step off it onto his neck.

I can feel the faint heat of the flesh beneath my slippered feet. Unable to help myself, I ask, “Do you breathe fire?”

“No, though I know that’s what Western stories often say of my kind. We are almost the exact opposite; We control the rains and seas.”

I have a brief vision of the havoc wreaked by the storm when he had discovered Haeyoung’s funeral.

“If you walk along my neck, there should be a space by the base of my head where you can sit comfortably,” Onew says, turning his head to look at me from the corner of his eye. “You might want to hold onto my mane too.”

Maneuvering around the wavy spikes along his spine as I walk, I find the place he described, quickly adjusting my seat and twirling my hands through the fine hair. “Okay. I think I’m ready.”

A bit of mischief and anticipation color his voice as he replies, “Hang on tight.”

My grip on his mane tightens as Onew pushes himself up from the floor and smoothly walks to the railing, rising so his front paws rest on the sturdy metal. I feel his muscles tense before we suddenly launch forward, bursting through the barrier and into the sea with a barely discernible pop.

I have a moment of panic before a calm envelopes me, heralding Onew’s sunshine-like presence in my mind.

“Breathe. You can breathe,” he assures me. “So long as we are connected, you can breathe just as I can. We won’t be here long.”

I take an experimental breath, smiling sheepishly when I have no problem. “Thanks.”

“I won’t let anything happen to you, Lilly. I promise. Ready to move again?”

When I nod, Onew shoots upward. I get dizzy from the speed so I close my eyes, the water passing over us as if running down a tame stream. An abrupt jubilant roar and splash of cool air forces my eyes open. I watch the ocean’s surface rapidly drop away as we continue skyward, Onew’s tail and the rest of his body whipping behind us. Onew bursts through a low cloud and spins, releasing another echoing bellow towards the moon.

I laugh at him, reminded even more of a giant puppy let out to play when I feel his excitement brush against my mind.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “It’s just been a long time. I’d almost forgotten how good flying feels.”

“I know. Minho told you haven’t been a dragon since Haeyoung-”

Onew’s joy dims, his sudden soberness bringing mine back as well. 

After recovering, Onew says, “If you’ll allow me into your mind, I can find your home.”

“Aren’t you already in my head?” I point out, leaning down to be closer to his neck and be out of the wind.

His voice is amused as he replies, “Technically, but all I can hear is your voice. To us, the mind is the most sacred of sanctuaries. To look or interfere with another’s mind without permission is a disgusting crime.”

“So you can only see and hear what I want you to?”

A confirming rumble sounds from Onew’s throat. “Just concentrate on your home.”

“Must be nice to have a built-in GPS.”

“GPS?”

“I’ll explain later.” Closing my eyes, I focus on my house, my neighborhood, a tingle of happiness coming as I remember a dozen small but familiar details. “Okay. I’ve got it.”

I feel Onew looking. Taking a deep sniff like a hound, he says, “Very good, Lilly. This should be enough.”

My home disappears when I open my eyes, but Onew turns his great body and sets off in a new direction. A loud yawn comes unbidden to my lips and though I try to hold it in, it escapes anyway. Even over the wind whistling past us, he hears.

“You can sleep, Lily. I won’t let you fall,” Onew promises.

“I don’t have anything to tie myself with though,” I yawn.

A golden rope suddenly appears around a spike in front of me. Onew’s voice is apologetic after he feels me jump. “I’m sorry. If the magic disturbs you, I won’t do it in front of you.”

“It’s fine; you just startled me. The others use their magic around me all the time so I’m used to it. I-” After another yawn, I finish, “I don’t even know why I’m tired. It was daytime.”

“That is the effect of the Veil,” he explains. “It would normally make you sleep for days as it did when you first came, but I tried to thin the power where we went through. Sleep. I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

I nod even though he can’t see it. I wind the rope around myself and the two spikes directly behind and in front of me so at least my legs and waist will stay in place. Leaning forward again against the surprisingly soft by firm spikes, I watch the stars pass by. A beautiful crooning like softly echoing bells and rumbling waves sounds and I realize it’s Onew, the sound vibrating beneath his scales. The notes rise and fall in a graceful song that gradually lulls my eyes closed.

“Lilly.”

“Hmmmm.”

Onew chuckles, gently shaking me. “I know the feeling all too well, but you’ve got to wake up. We’re here.”

That brings me fully awake. Looking around at the starlit street and house, I feel ready to burst with happiness. There are the rose bushes along the fence line that were presents for my mom that my dad planted himself, the old swing I spent hours reading on, the old basketball net we’d put up for my sister. It all looks unchanged from when I’d left after the end of spring break.

Eagerly, I move to slide down from Onew’s arms, but he holds onto me firmly. “Lilly.”

“What?” I fight the urge to squirm down.

“No part of you can touch the earth of the human realm again, remember?”

I freeze. “Oh, right. The death thing.”

“Oh, that thing,” he repeats sarcastically. “Just a tiny, critical detail. Hold on.”

“You really think I’m letting go?”

His mouth twists from a suppressed laugh. “I need to concentrate, shush.”

As I watch, snatches of the light mist lying on the ground whip into a miniature thundercloud, hovering a few inches above the pavement in front of us. 

I look between the cloud and Onew skeptically. “That thing’s going to hold me?”

“Yes. Don’t you trust me?”

Despite his teasing tone, I don’t reply, letting myself slide down onto the cloud, but keep a light grip on Onew’s arm, just in case. My feet sink a little into the cloud’s surface but it holds, feeling like a soft mattress.

“We can still go back, if this is too painful for you.” Onew watches me with cautious eyes.

Shaking my head, I straighten my shoulders and ignore the heaviness of my heart. “I need to do it, for myself. How do you steer this thing?”

“Just tell it where you want to go.”

I give an experimental command, almost losing my balance when the cloud shoots forward to the front step. “Slowly, boy, slowly,” I mutter, glancing my new problem: the locked door.

“I’ve got it.” Onew steps around me and crouches down, pulling something from his belt and inserting it in the door.

“Something Minho magicked?” I guess, trying to watch over his shoulder.

“No, human picklock tools.”

“You can turn into a dragon and conjure things out of mid-air but your magic can’t open a lock?”

Onew shrugs, still concentrating on the lock. “Kibum’s called learning this a waste of time for similar reasons, but this is more satisfying.” When the doorknob makes an audible click, he grins back at me triumphantly. “Ladies first.”

Moving slower this time, my cloud enters the dark house. All is still and even with the barest moonlight, I can see a few things have changed. In a way, it’s comforting knowing my family has been able to move past my disappearance. In another, it’s the complete opposite. I hear Onew step in behind me, closing the door politely, but I climb the stairs wordlessly.

There’s my little sister’s room, right across the hall from mine, and my parents’ a little further down the hall. As always, Mom had left the door slightly ajar. She doesn’t want to wake up  Dad by closing it when she came in later than him. My cloud wanders to the door, pausing as if sensing my wariness. Steeling myself, I take a deep breath, push open the door, and slip inside.

The sight of my parents’ sleeping forms almost makes me cry. Whether it the feeling is relief or loss is indistinguishable. There are more gray strands in their hair than I remember, a few wrinkles on their faces that hadn’t been there before.

A flicker of light catches my eye and I look at the bedside table. A candle burns in a large green stone bowl, the one my mother burns in memory of her parents, but there’s a new addition now. Propped beside the pictures of my grandparents is a picture of me from a vacation I can’t remember. My fingernails bite into my palms. As my heart throbs, my body itches to fling itself on the bed like I had as a child, crawling into the warm, safe, and laughing embrace of my mom and dad. This time, I can’t. This time they can’t chase away the bad dreams.

“Onew.”

A rustle of silk confirms my assumption he’d followed me. “Yes?”

“Can- ...can you make them forget me? That I ever existed? They shouldn’t have to mourn me when I’m not dead but they can never see me again.”

He hesitates. “Are you sure?”

I nod, not trusting my voice, and turn away as Onew approaches my parents. I cross my arms and bite my lip to try to divert my focus, staring unseeingly at the wall. I don’t know how much time has passed when Onew’s hand falls on my shoulder. How strange that I already know the feel and weight of his touch.

“It’s done,” he tells me when I face him, his eyes showing his exhaustion.

“Even my sister?”

“Yes, as will anyone who interacts with them. Look.”

Glancing over at the dresser, I pick up one of the picture frames. It shows us all together in front of the Christmas tree my first year of college, or at least it did. There’s Mom and Dad with their arms around Mandy, but the space where I should have been, right beside her, is now empty. A heavy, trembling breath escapes my tightly locked lips as I put the photo back down.

“Lilly.”

“Just one more minute,” I request softly. Moving back to the bed, I lean over to kiss both my parents’ cheeks with a murmured, “I love you.”

Forcing myself to walk from the room, I go into Mandy’s, my face softening into a smile. Her legs still stick out from the blankets and the same, ragged lion plushie is still securely tucked against her chest. The little girl dreams of ponies and circuses may be replaced by celebrities and college banners, but I can still see my kid sister in the lines of her sleeping face. Kissing her forehead and pulling the blanket closer around her, I feel regret at not knowing this new young woman, for not being there to help her grow.

“I’m sorry, munchkin. I wish only the best for you.”

She stirs, murmuring something with a frown, but only rolls over.

Before I wake her with the wail echoes in my heart, I quickly wheel around, almost bumping right into Onew where he waits just outside the door. “I’m ready.”

A low, questioning woof comes as we reach the bottom of the steps. With steps reduced to shuffling, an old dog with a muzzle turned gray with age walks into the light.

I hadn’t thought my heart could break anymore. I collapse onto my knees, holding out a hand. “Sirius?”

The dog’s tail gives a wave and he runs as quickly as he can into my arms. Tears fall hot onto his coat as I hold him close, but he doesn’t care. Sirius whines in his throat and my face until I smile weakly. Kissing his nose, I make myself stand but let my hands linger on my dog’s head.

“Go back to sleep, my good boy. Mama will always love you.”

He gives me a doggy smile and my fingers one more time before obeying and shuffling out of sight into the kitchen.

“He’d always know when I was coming home and wait by the door for me,” I chuckle as I stand, my voice watery.

“He loves you,” Onew replies simply, stepping down to stand beside me. He wraps an arm around my shoulders, drawing me outside and closing the door behind us.

The numbness that follows loss proves stronger the second time, Onew’s transformation barely registering. He moans and nudges me closer to him, but doesn’t lift me onto his back. Instead he arches his back so he balances on his back legs, creating a nest with his front paws and pushing me off my cloud into his paws. Onew nuzzles my face as I curl up in an attempt to stem off the numbing cold, a wave of heat from his breath cocooning me. Giving me on more look, he turns his face towards the dawn-tinged sky and surges upward. The beauty of the sky tempts, but I fall deeper inside myself.

Whether we travel hours or minutes, I don’t know. Onew keeps me close to his chest to keep the chill of the rushing wind at bay. At some point we dive beneath the waves again and shortly after Onew gracefully lands back in the pavilion. As he resumes his human form, somehow managing to keep hold of me, Kibum races through the entrance.

“Where have you been? Do you have any idea how worried we all were when we couldn’t find either of you? Even Joon didn’t know where you were! Are you two all right?” he says all in a rush, throwing his arms up in exasperation but the relief in finding us whole apparent in his voice.

“I took her home,” Onew explains, a yawn disrupting his somber expression.

“Oh.” Kibum’s eyes round and look over me with a new concerned sympathy and a tinge of guilt. Laying a gentle hand on my shoulder, he softens his voice. “I’m so sorry, Lilly. I-... Let’s get you to bed, dear.”

“It’s not your fault,” I tell him in a soft rasp, making myself meet his eyes. “You were just following orders, right?”

Looking ready to cry, Kibum nods and turns, hurriedly leading the way.

“I can walk; my legs aren’t broken,” I tell Onew quietly as he follows Kibum.

“That’s true, but a broken heart is no less severe, less painful,” he replies. His voice free of bitterness but carrying an old grief, he adds, “Take it from someone who knows all too well.”

My other friends stand waiting for us at my door, but a wave of Kibum’s hand and the expression on his face make them step back and remain silent, their worried, questioning eyes watching. I keep my own eyes downcast as Onew brings me into my room, the door closing quietly behind us. He gently deposits me on the bed, carefully brushing some hair from my face. His hand tentatively gives my cheek a comforting as his mouth offers a smile of a similar nature. As he turns to go, I catch his hand, his surprised expression almost comical.

Too exhausted for words, I ask him with my eyes not to leave.

Onew kneels by the side of the bed, resting our hands on the blankets and covering them with his other hand. “I’ll stay right here until you fall asleep, Lilly. Rest.”

Nodding, I close my eyes as Onew begins softly sings his dragon song. My mind is too tired to recognize the words. Thankfully my sleep proves dreamless and when I wake up, Onew is gone. In place of his hand, my fingers are curled around two flowers: a lily and an iris.

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I feel like I'm always apologizing to you all for failing to update regularly and I truly am sorry for all the gaps. Thankfully some of the issues in my life that have kept me from working on this story have been resolved. Hopefully I won't go for months without updating, though it will probably be a few weeks between updates. Thank you for being patient with me.