Myungsoo hems and haws.

He feels something at the back of his throat clawing at his uvula. The room feels stifling even with the air conditioner purring audibly.

“Are you ready? We’re going live in five!” Myungsoo doesn’t bother to shake his head – of course he isn’t ready – or even open his mouth.

It’s a formality.

It all is.

This world is a formality he can’t understand. And he hates it. He hates how society expects him to go to college and get a decent degree. He hates how he’s expected to enter some decent, high paying office job. He hates how he’s expected to marry some pretty girl and have kids.

And he hates the fact that he is actually going along with it. To some extent.

Myungsoo hates everything that keeps him away from the person he loves.

---

“Welcome to Radio Lovers, Station 90.3! We’ll be joining Mr. Kim after the break for his entry into our Radio Lovers Competition. Do you think you have got a love story?”

The on air sign flickers off and the RJ, a handsome but overly greasy male probably in his twenties, pulls off his headphones. His voice also drops two octaves.

“Oh my god, I need water!”

Myungsoo dares to chuckle. The RJ flashes him a smile.

Woohyun, he mouths. We’re going to be good friends.

---

“Welcome back! That was Nell’s The Day Before. It’s such a beautiful song, isn’t it Mr. Kim?” Myungsoo nods enthusiastically before remembering he’s on radio and no one can hear a nod. Woohyun laughs. “Apparently, Mr. Kim loved it so much, he forgot how to talk!”

Myungsoo lets out a nervous chuckle, grateful for Woohyun’s teasing save.

“Or perhaps Mr. Kim is having difficulty forming the words? After all, our next Radio Lovers guest joins us from Korea. He’s been studying Japanese for five years now. He’s freshly out of university and looking to get into the entertainment industry.”

Myungsoo is now simply shocked by Woohyun’s ability to save, segue, and even advertise people he likes. He decides to keep good relations with Woohyun.

“But of course, that’s not what you guys want to hear. You want to hear his story.” A sad and slow jazz music starts to play in the background. Somehow, he feels that the song can’t capture the mood, or do his story justice. He thinks about a different song, sung in a different voice to the idle strums of his guitar.

Myungsoo gulps. The camera seems to move an inch to the right and focus on him. For someone who’s looking for an on-screen job, it’s strange to feel uncomfortable when a camera is trained on him. He remembers faintly the countless auditions he attended. And failed. The choking feeling tightens.

He wonders if Woohyun would laugh if he ripped off his headphones and called for more water.

---

Myungsoo has heard this radio program dozens of times before. They pick people with love stories. They have them share their story. And the person with the biggest sob story wins a buttload of money.

Enough to pay off his student loans from college.

He starts to scrape his words together. The first sentence comes out in Korean. Woohyun laughs.

“Gomenasai,” Myungsoo apologizes quickly, but not loudly enough to be heard over Woohyun’s roaring laughter. He apologizes again. “Gomenasai, gomenasai.” He repeats the word a few more times in his mind.

He usually does.

Because there are so many people he’s sorry to.

“Since I’m obviously bad at Japanese,” he starts, and his voice comes out surprisingly calm, “I’ll skip the background introduction.” Woohyun nods appreciatively. He is a strong supporter of the no one cares about that boring crap party.

“What I will tell you is that I was stupid.”

Woohyun laughs again. Myungsoo tries and fails to join in.

---

Sungjong pushes past the crowd of people, all shoving to get on the subway. “Mianhe, this is my stop. Mianhae!”

He takes a deep breath when he finally reaches the platform, so deep that by the time he remembers that he’s supposed to be on his way to college and he’ll be late if he doesn’t hurry up, the mob of subway users has already evacuated the platform.

Sungjong sighs, and climbs up the now deserted stairs, plopping his headphones back into his ears.

“Welcome to Radio Lovers, Station 90.3!”

Sungjong loves listening to this station, even though he barely understands the words and struggles with the foreign accent.

It reminds him of Myungsoo.